Critical Failures


Robert Bevan - 2012
    The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them. Tim now has the voice and physique of a prepubescent girl. Dave finds that while he lost a foot or two in height, he somehow acquired a suit of armor and a badass beard. Julian's ears have grown ridiculously long and pointy. And Cooper... well Cooper has gotten himself a set of tusks, a pair of clawed hands, and a bad case of the shits. He also finds that he's carrying a bag with a human head in it - a head that he had chopped off when they were still just playing a game.Shit just got real, and if they want to survive, these four friends are going to have to tap into some baser instincts they didn't even know existed in their fast-food and pizza delivery world.It's fight, flight, or try to convince the people who are trying to kill them that they don't really exist.Meanwhile, a sadistic game master sits back in the real world eating their fried chicken.

Tamer: King of Dinosaurs


Michael-Scott Earle - 2017
    Tame women. Rule the world. Victor Shelby ends each day wondering when his life is going to get better. His parents are dead, he struggles to pay rent, and his boss at the animal control shelter has him cleaning cages instead of working in the field. His dream of helping animals seems destined to end in a mop bucket. Then Victor is abducted by aliens and deposited on a prehistoric world filled with hungry dinosaurs and beautiful alien women. He doesn’t know why he is here or what his purpose is, but he finds himself fighting for survival. Most men would have been lizard kibble in a few moments, but Victor’s natural ability to empathize with animals has grown stronger, and he finds himself able to control the most docile of the terrible lizards. Victor will have to use his taming powers to provide food, water, and shelter for the three women that he has sworn to protect. Success means they get to live another day, failure means a horrible death in the jaws of Earth’s most deadly predators. Disclaimer: This book has ravaging dinosaurs, a lot of cursing, extreme violence, and a harem of exotic alien women. The novel is not meant for people under the age of 18.

Super Sales on Super Heroes


William D. Arand - 2017
     He has the ability to modify any item he owns. To upgrade anything. Sounds great on paper. Almost like a video game. Except that the amount of power it takes to actually change, modify, or upgrade anything worthwhile is beyond his abilities. With that in mind, Felix settled into a normal life. A normal job. His entire world changes when the city he lives in is taken over by a Super Villain. Becoming a country of one city. A city state. Surprisingly, not a whole lot changed. Politicians were still corrupt. Banks still held onto your money. And criminals still committed crime. Though the black market has become more readily available. And in that not so black market, Felix discovers he has a way to make his power useful after all, and grasps a hold of his chance with both hands. Warning and minor spoiler: This novel contains graphic violence, undefined relationships/partial harem, unconventional opinions/beliefs, and a hero who is as tactful as a dog at a cat show. Read at your own risk.

Survival


Dave Willmarth - 2019
    But when Earth is seized by an ancient race wielding incredibly advanced tech, who transport the entire planet to a new location with twin suns, he finds himself fighting to survive in real life. The human race is declared a contaminant, and the new overlords decree that 90% of us will be exterminated. Creatures out of myth and legend are sent to do the killing. Dragons, titans, alien creatures big and small, all with a hunger for human flesh. Humans who survive the first year will be rewarded. After seeing his family killed in the first week, Allistor leads a small group of survivors in their struggle to stay alive. Not satisfied with simple survival, he strives to make himself and his people stronger. The new 'magic' RPG system that now governs the planet is something he can work with, and teach others to exploit. Thrust into a leadership position, and with vengeance in his heart, Allistor aims to establish a stronghold, then take the fight to the monsters who seek to enslave his people.

Stuff and Nonsense


Andrew Seiple - 2017
    He is twelve inches tall, full of fluff, and really, really bad at being a hero. Magically animated and discarded by his maker as a failed experiment, he is saved by a little girl. But she's got problems of her own, and he might not be able to help her. Fortunately for the little golem, he's quick to find allies, learn skills, gain levels, and survive horrible predicaments. Which is good, because his creator has a whole lot of enemies... Warning: Contains profanity and violence.

Heroes Die


Matthew Woodring Stover - 1998
    He is relentless, unstoppable, simply the best there is at what he does.At home on Earth, Caine is Hari Michaelson, a superstar whose adventures in Ankhana command an audience of billions. Yet he is shackled by a rigid caste society, bound to ignore the grim fact that he kills men on a far-off world for the entertainment of his own planet--and bound to keep his rage in check.But now Michaelson has crossed the line. His estranged wife, Pallas Rill, has mysteriously disappeared in the slums of Ankhana. To save her, he must confront the greatest challenge of his life: a lethal game of cat and mouse with the most treacherous rulers of two worlds...

Dodge Tank


Rick Scott - 2017
    Plus the world ended two centuries ago from nuclear war. Now, what's left of humanity live below ground, with the only escape from reality being the massive VR world of Crystal Shards Online.But even ingame, Ryan's life sucks. Unable to play a combat class due to his condition, he works as a miner, earning barely enough to get by and not nearly enough to afford the operation that will save his mom's life.When Ryan discovers an item that grants the ability to dodge any attack, however, he has the chance to become one of the game world's most elite and sought after players: a Dodge Tank.But for someone who's never played a combat class, success isn't so easily had.To save his mom, Ryan will have to overcome his disability and level his way to the top. But the real-world consequences are more far reaching than he ever could have imagined and the fate of not just his mother, but humanity itself, may be resting in his hands...WARNING: Contains RPG mechanics, detailed party combat and giant boss fights. If these things do not interest you, then this is not the book for you!BUY DODGE TANK TODAY!

The Lies of Locke Lamora


Scott Lynch - 2006
    But young Locke Lamora dodges death and slavery, becoming a thief under the tutelage of a gifted con artist. As leader of the band of light-fingered brothers known as the Gentleman Bastards, Locke is soon infamous, fooling even the underworld’s most feared ruler. But in the shadows lurks someone still more ambitious and deadly. Faced with a bloody coup that threatens to destroy everyone and everything that holds meaning in his mercenary life, Locke vows to beat the enemy at his own brutal game—or die trying.

Enchantress


James Maxwell - 2012
    But the elite Academy of Enchanters expects tuition fees and knowledge. Determined, Ella sells flowers and studies every book she can. Meanwhile her brother, Miro, dreams of becoming one of the world's finest swordsmen, wielding his nation’s powerful enchanted weapons in defense of his homeland.A dark force rises in the east, conquering all in its path, and Miro leaves for the front. When the void Miro left is filled by Killian, a charming stranger from another land, Ella finds herself in love. But Killian has a secret, and Ella’s actions will determine the fate of her brother, her homeland, and the world.This is the first book in the epic Evermen Saga.

Reborn: Apocalypse Volume 1


L.M. Kerr - 2019
     Micheal's answer to that question would be quite simple. Yes. A million times yes. Humanity has fallen, killed by stronger races of beings after being warped away to a new reality, the mystical 7 Layers. Humanity's goal had been simple. Make it through all 7 Layers and reach Heaven. Humanity failed. Humanity died. Micheal Care's memories have been transported back into his past self thanks to a magical Artifact he found by chance. He is no chosen savior. He is no divinely picked hero. Can he change the future? Can he catch up to the mightiest warriors of humanity and surpass them? Read on and find out. -

Six Sacred Swords


Andrew Rowe - 2019
     Keras Selyrian is already well on the way to cutting his name into the annals of legend. He’s fought false divinities, thieving sorcerers, and corrupt demigods — and left them defeated in his wake. But he’s a long way from home, and Kaldwyn offers a different brand of danger than he’s used to. He’s already got a sword of unfathomable power, but it’s damaged and leaking world-annihilating mana, so he’s in the market for a new one. Possibly six. The more the better, really. The Six Sacred Swords are Kaldwyn’s most famous artifacts, forged as the only means to defeat the god beasts. Each sword must be earned by a worthy champion, and no single person has ever managed to collect them all. Not yet, at least. Keras is just getting started. Additional Info: Six Sacred Swords is a light-hearted fantasy adventure inspired by Japanese game series like The Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy, and Fire Emblem. It takes place in the same universe as the Arcane Ascension novels, but years earlier and with a different protagonist. While the books are interconnected, they can be read on their own in any order.

Forever Fantasy Online


Rachel Aaron - 2018
    Her brother, James Anderson, is a college drop-out struggling under debt, but in FFO he's famous—an explorer known all over the world for doing every quest and collecting the rarest items.Both Tina and James need the game more than they'd like to admit, but their favorite escape turns into a trap when FFO becomes real. Suddenly, wounds aren’t virtual, the stupid monsters have turned cunning, NPCs start acting like actual people, and death might be forever.In the real world, everyone said being good at video games was a waste of time. Now, separated across a much larger and more deadly world, their skill at FFO is the only thing keeping them alive. It’s going to take every bit of their expertise (and hoarded loot) to find each other and get back home, but as the harshness of their new reality sets in, Tina and James soon realize that being the best in the game might no longer be good enough.

The Blade Itself


Joe Abercrombie - 2006
    Caught in one feud too many, he’s on the verge of becoming a dead barbarian – leaving nothing behind him but bad songs, dead friends, and a lot of happy enemies. Nobleman Captain Jezal dan Luthar, dashing officer, and paragon of selfishness, has nothing more dangerous in mind than fleecing his friends at cards and dreaming of glory in the fencing circle. But war is brewing, and on the battlefields of the frozen North they fight by altogether bloodier rules. Inquisitor Glokta, cripple turned torturer, would like nothing better than to see Jezal come home in a box. But then Glokta hates everyone: cutting treason out of the Union one confession at a time leaves little room for friendship. His latest trail of corpses may lead him right to the rotten heart of government, if he can stay alive long enough to follow it. Enter the wizard, Bayaz. A bald old man with a terrible temper and a pathetic assistant, he could be the First of the Magi, he could be a spectacular fraud, but whatever he is, he's about to make the lives of Logen, Jezal, and Glokta a whole lot more difficult. Murderous conspiracies rise to the surface, old scores are ready to be settled, and the line between hero and villain is sharp enough to draw blood.

The Way of Shadows


Brent Weeks - 2008
    For Durzo Blint, assassination is an art-and he is the city's most accomplished artist. For Azoth, survival is precarious. Something you never take for granted. As a guild rat, he's grown up in the slums, and learned to judge people quickly - and to take risks. Risks like apprenticing himself to Durzo Blint.But to be accepted, Azoth must turn his back on his old life and embrace a new identity and name. As Kylar Stern, he must learn to navigate the assassins' world of dangerous politics and strange magics - and cultivate a flair for death.

Off to Be the Wizard


Scott Meyer - 2013
    With every use of this ability, though, Martin finds his little “tweaks” have not escaped notice. Rather than face prosecution, he decides instead to travel back in time to the Middle Ages and pose as a wizard.What could possibly go wrong?An American hacker in King Arthur’s court, Martin must now train to become a full-fledged master of his powers, discover the truth behind the ancient wizard Merlin… and not, y’know, die or anything.