The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

    Zach Galifianakis, start of The Hangover, will provide the foreword.Everyone knows the only thing more painful than relationships is not having them--or is it the other way around? Whatever, says author and cartoonist Nick Galifianakis. In his first book, If You Loved Me, You'd Think This Was Cute: Uncomfortably True Cartoons About You, he makes the case that either way, the only recourse is to embrace our frailties and laugh. Taken from Carolyn Hax's nationally syndicated advice column, this compilation spins the pain of dating, mothers-in-law, "beneficial" friends and more into ... the pain of self-recognition. The intricately drawn pen-and-ink panels and pointed captions explore some of life's most uncomfortable truths, exposing the humanity in our mistakes, the underbelly of our triumphs and the sheer heroism of trying and trying again.Throughout this character study of men and women (and the dogs who love them), Galifianakis mines our hopes and insecurities for a unifying truth: If we can't laugh at ourselves, he'll do it for us."Nick snuck me into my first comedy club when I was only a back-acned teenager. The back acne went away but the comedy stuck. I know that last sentence sounds like a lyric from a Joan Baez song, but trust me, it's original." --Zach Galifianakis, from the foreword"Nick's cartoons are funny, witty, and smart. But what makes them so special are how universal and true they are, making the laughs they bring all the more poignant. Relationships, in all their glory, have never been captured quite so succinctly and with such charm." --Amy B. Harris, writer/producer for Sex and the City"Nick Galifianakis understands relationships unbelievably well, for a guy. My guess is he actually menstruates." --Gene Weingarten, two-time Pulitzer Prize winner, Washington Post humor columnist

    Meet Marzi. She's an introvert who often finds herself in awkward situations. Marzi used to feel strange about her introverted tendencies. Not anymore! Now she knows that there are tons of introverts out there just like her--introverts who enjoy peace and quiet, need time alone to recharge their battery, and who prefer staying in with their pet and a good book to awkward social interactions. Just like Marzi, these introverts can often be found in libraries, at home watching Netflix, brainstorming excuses to miss your next party, or doodling cute cartoons. Being an introvert in an extrovert world isn't always easy, but it certainly is an adventure. In Introvert Doodles, follow Marzi through all of her most uncomfortable, charming, honest, and hilarious moments that everyone--introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between--can relate to.

    We'll never quite know why, but sometimes they decide they've just had enough of this world- and that's when they start getting inventive. The Book of Bunny Suicides follows over one hundred bunnies as they find ever more outlandish ways to do themselves in. From an encounter with the business end of Darth Vader's lightsaber, to supergluing themselves to a diving submarine, to hanging around underneath a loose stalactite, these bunnies are serious about suicide. Illustrated in a stark and simple style, The Book of Bunny Suicides is a collection of hilarious and outrageous cartoons that will appeal to anyone in touch with their evil side.

    Never seen in print before anywhere else!A new cartoon collection from the mind of Eisner Award-winning, Harvey nominated and current NewYorker Magazine cartoonist, Shannon Wheeler! It's the best-of-the-best of what's left on the cutting room floor from Wheeler's cartoon submissions to The New Yorker Magazine. Never seen in print before anywhwere else!

    Like Girls and Boys, Big Ideas features many of her greatest cartoons, including her menacing "Poodle with a Mohawk". Line drawings throughout.

    For centuries, lovers have found inspiration and advice in the ancient text of the Kama Sutra. Now, Simon Rich -- "one of the funniest writers in America" (The Daily Beast) -- and Farley Katz have unearthed a valuable new document: a guide to the positions most common after marriage. From "the interrupted congress" to "the beaching of the whales," here are the poses, positions, and games married lovers play to keep the spark alive -- and the dishwasher properly loaded. Complete with four-color, full-page illustrations in the style of the original Kama Sutra, but with modern, domestic accoutrements: dirty diapers, TV remotes, and wine glasses aplenty.

    Beavis and Butt-head give us their view of the world from A to Z in their own version of an encyclopedia--just in time for Christmas. Illustrated.

    The hugely successful blog catvshuman.com receives over 6,000 page views per day, and many of its cartoons have gone viral. 40% new material unpublished on the website.Yasmine Surovec began sketching her clever and sarcastic Cat Versus Human cartoons as a way to relax and unwind. Soon, her popular blog at catversushuman.blogspot.com began receiving as many as 12,000 hits per day, with a number of posts going viral and appearing on popular Web sites such as The Huffington Post and I Can Has Cheezburger. Now, a selection of 100 Cat Versus Human strips--many never previously published--can be found inside this inaugural collection of Cat Versus Human.Proud owners of Felis domesticus will instantly recognize Surovec's keen insights into cat behavior and all of the characteristic intricacies of the cat-human relationship, such as the allure of an empty cardboard box trumping an expensive battery-operated toy or how a cat's favorite nap spot might as easily be inside a litter box, on top of clean laundry, or directly on top of a human face. Cat Versus Human also encourages an affectionate look at your once-was-in-mint-condition midcentury modern sofa that is now being unstuffed one cat claw at a time.

    Some of the stories are made up, some of them are based on real life, and some are absolutely true stories sent to us from our readers. And the stranger the story, the more likely it is to be true.

    Embrace it.A bear flies through space. A hamster suffers a breakdown. Elsewhere, a garden snake is arrested by animal control and jailed for home invasion, while a child marvels at the wonder of nature as worms emerge from the ground and begin looking for vodka (as they always have). These are common occurrences in the world of Reza Farazmand’s wildly popular webcomic, Poorly Drawn Lines. Traveling from deep space to alternate realities to the bottom of the ocean, this eponymous collection brings together fan favorites with new comics and original essays to share Farazmand’s inimitable take on love, nature, social acceptance, and robots.

    Now, for the first time, the hilarious cartoons of Nicholas Gurewitch are being collected in this handsome hardcover edition.

    101 cartoons in all from The New Yorker over the past 65 years.

    Here is the plan. The plan is illustrated. The plan is quite complicated. But not too complicated. I think you will be thrilled by it. I am certain you will be thrilled by it.No need to read massive volumes or use the internetJUST READ THISONLY THIS

    Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book:PicturesWordsStories about things that happened to meStories about things that happened to other people because of meEight billion dollars*Stories about dogsThe secret to eternal happiness**These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!