Of course, the 75-year-old actress and comedian has been turning out unforgettable roles for the better part of five decades, from Ernestine, the condescending telephone operator on “Laugh-In,” to Violet Newstead, the secretary in “9 to 5.” In this wide-ranging, intimate and often hilarious Kindle Singles Interview, Tomlin covers all aspects of her extraordinary life and career, turning a drab Manhattan hotel room into a one-woman show with tales of her childhood in Detroit, her early years in New York, and the origins of her classic characters.Tom Roston is a veteran journalist and author of two previous Kindle Singles Interviews, with Ted Allen and Ken Burns. Roston began his career at The Nation and Vanity Fair, before working at Premiere magazine as a senior editor. He is a frequent contributor to The New York Times and his book, I Lost It At The Video Store, a filmmakers' oral history, will be published by The Critical Press in September. He lives with his wife and their two daughters in New York City.Cover design by Adil Dara.

    As her full-time carer, Tottie listened to daily recitations of her favourite saying: 'Mother, mother, it's a bugger, sell the pig and buy me out.” Catch up now with Tottie in the AM years – After Mother – as she starts her new life in the rural Livradois-Forez region of the Auvergne, living in Tottie's Grottage. Meet the local inhabitants, from exotic birds to colourful characters like the Bin Pickers, Library Lady and the Bowing Farmer. All are described with Tottie's familiar gently ironic humour. Discover the procedure behind the Frogification of Tottie, and if her bid for French nationality is successful. 'Mother Was It Worth It?' is the concluding part of the Sell the Pig series, which began with 'Sell the Pig' and 'Is That Billinge Lump?'

    Although by now, not such a green graduate, the animals and their owners keep her challenged in a way never described in the text books.

    While there, Mr. Pinocchio meets all sorts of Fascinating Characters, one more Unbelievable and Amazing than the next, and they challenge him to confront his Deepest, Darkest Fears. The experience leads Mr. Pinocchio to the very edges of despair, but at a critical juncture he finds hope in the arms of a Bad Woman.The love affair ends tragically, alas, and, like many parts of Mr. Pinocchio's story, stretches credibility to the breaking point, but the harrowing adventure -- which involves a great deal of pain, a smattering of dirty sex, and endless amounts of girlish crying -- eventually leads to Redemption and Healing. But not for Mr. Pinocchio

    Fiction has to make sense.—Mark TwainAfter selling their Minnesota home, Travis and Wendy plan an elaborate departure from the United States before repatriating themselves to the UK. Buying a second-hand RV, visiting states unknown, and selling the campervan after reaching Florida seems like the perfect exit. So they pack their lives and blind Shih Tzu into a once-luxurious thirty-one-foot RV and hit the open road.As they roll through the Midwest, heading for the Deep South, they soon discover “RV” doesn't mean “Reliable Vehicle.” Historical sites give way to repair shops and the excitement of the once-in-a-lifetime trip quickly turns into apprehension of what mishap will be around the next corner. With the wheels literally coming off the wagon, bogus repairs, temperatures rising inside the RV and under the hood, sleeping in junkyards, and being laughed at by the Mississippi police, the once-happy couple just want the nightmare to end so they can return to England. But the Minnesota Department of Motor Vehicles has the final say as to when they can leave.Of course it's a true story. You couldn't make it up.

    Big Ang has rules to live by for beauty, food, family, friendship, and more. Here she is . . . ON HER KILLER BOOBS: I was on vacation with my family in the Catskills when out of nowhere, this bat flies right into my chest and then falls splat on the ground. Turned out, he died on impact. ON FAMILY TRADITIONS: Every Sunday, we do a feast for fifteen to twentyfive people. Last week, we went through seventy-five meatballs. Even by my family's standards, that's a lot of balls. ON DIETING: Swearing off lasagna to lose weight? You might fit into smaller jeans. But you're still the same person-- except hungrier and bitchier. ON HOBBIES: Would I rather cook for people or have sex? No hard-and-fast rule there. But I will say this: Cooking is "always "satisfying.

    It covers the twenty-one years Don spent in the US Army, including six years in Airborne infantry rifle companies, ten years in special forces and five years in military intelligence. His story covers four combat tours, three in Vietnam and one in Laos and stretches from the old “brown boot” army to the new all volunteer army. The story is told in the manner you would hear it if you were sitting with the author having a cup of coffee or a cold beer and chatting about the “good” old days. This memoir covers the following assignments: Basic Combat Training | E Co. 325th AIR, 82d Airborne Division | K Co. 511th AIR, 11th Airborne Division | B Co. 505th AIR, 82d Airborne Division | E Company, 325th, 82d Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C., October 1960 | Training Co., 7th Special Forces Group Ft. Bragg, NC | A Company, 5th Special Forces Group [Sept - Dec 1961] | 1st Special Forces Group, Okinawa | B Co. 5th Special Forces Group, Ft. Bragg, NC | A Co. 3rd Special Forces Group, Ft. Bragg, NC | D Co., 1st Special Forces Group, Ft. Bragg, NC | 46th Special Forces Company [Augmented] 1967 Thailand | 1st Special Forces Group, Okinawa | Super Spook Training, Ft. Holabird, MD | The Bird Cage, Ft. Belvoir, VA | 525th Military Intelligence Group, Vietnam | Counterintelligence Special Agent Course Ft. Huachuca, AZ | Defense Against Methods of Entry Course Ft. Huachuca, AZ | 801st MI Det., 5th SFG [Abn], Ft Bragg, NC June 1971-Dec 1973 | Defense Language Institute Monterey, CA | 500th Military Intelligence Group Camp Zama, Japan | Retirement 1 March 1976 Ft. Bragg, NC Some Readers Comments: “I just got through reading all of your army experiences and enjoyed it very much., Clarence J.” “Don I enjoyed reading about your adventures and about those early Army days! I was reading the parts about “Super Spook!” lol And I was thinking to myself, Hum? “ I think I've met some people like them!” I like your particular writing style. “ Dave H. “I was researching Ft Holabird when I came across part of your memoirs. Great reading...my ass is supposed to be house-husbanding & taking care of the dogs & cats while my wife is attending nursing classes...well I guess spending the afternoon reading your memoirs are worth an ass-chewing.”, Daniel M. “Ran across a couple of your chapters years ago, but for some reason never found your website until this week. Love it, you really capture the esprit de corps serving in SF was all about.”, H.C.S. “My wife’s in Reno visiting her mother. I’m supposed to be working on an exam for the State. Instead, I’m too caught up in your story. Thanks for all that you did.” Jim. F. “Top; I just finished reading your story and I had to tell you that I think that you are a very good writer. Your style of writing kept me attentive from the first paragraph.”, Bob W. “Kudos to you for Strap Hanger, and for saying it in common language of the common soldier. I called my style a barrack philosopher style, but never equaled your style of common language in a clear and concise manner. Enjoyed your writing. Congratulations on a job well done.”, Ron A.

    She's barely out of the car when she's called to assist the midwife with a bride who's gone into labour in the middle of her own wedding reception. And so her adventures begin...As a health visitor Nurse Sarah is as green as grass but she puts her best foot into wellies and braves the mad dogs, killer ganders and muddy tracks of the farming community. Despite set-backs young Sarah is determined to help the mums she meets, from struggling young mothers in unmodernised farmhouses, to doyennes of the county dinner party set who slave over stuffed olive hors-d'oeuvres.Village life in 1970s isn't always quite the Good Life Sarah's been expecting; her attempts at self-sufficiency and cider making lead to drunk badgers and spirited house parties - but will it be the clergyman, the vet or the young doctor that win Sarah's heart. During her first year in Kent, Nurse Sarah Hill get stuck in - reuniting families and helping mums in the midst of community full of ancient feuds, funny little ways and just a bit of magic.

    Always afraid he was about to die, he climbed into the cockpit anyway ... and lived to tell you about it. How would you feel if you were a new guy in the sky ... attacked by four Messerschmitts? Let me tell you, no matter how much you prepare, no matter how much you read, how much you train, no matter how much you think of yourself as a 'Hot Shot Pilot,' you are never ready for life and death combat! How did it feel to say a 'last goodbye' to your bride believing you would never see her again, as you left to fight WWII? Author's Facebook page at: facebook.com/P38Flyer/ As reviewed by A. L. Hanks, Lieutenant Colonel, USAF (Ret) who said it perfectly: In "Brave and Funny Memories of WWII" Lyndon Shubert, to our great benefit, tells us his story, an engaging tale of his WWII experience as a fighter pilot in WWII. A member of the "greatest generation" he recounts his days (and nights) flying P-38 fighters in the wartime skies of Europe. The tale is told in a relaxed, conversational style, honest and personal. The reader will appreciate the authenticity and the easy humor. He tells us a story that is at once delightfully humorous and deadly serious. He shares that unfettered sense of flying a powerful aircraft free in the vast expanse of the sky. The special sense that pilots have when they "can reach out and touch the face of God". Shubert relates the feelings of men in combat, that gripping apprehension in your gut when you know you're going to die, your senses at full maximum intensity, and then that striking after mission fear when you look back and realize that you cheated death once again. Shubert was indeed a special fellow. We are indebted to him for his service and his book. He captures a special piece of the American character and our history that is essential to pass on to our children and grandchildren. Lt Shubert was exceptional, a USAF officer and a fighter pilot who fought the war and earned the Distinguished Flying Cross. The author reminds us once again why fighter pilots are special. Why they are ubiquitously viewed as swaggering "raconteurs", with big egos and big watches who can sometimes be insufferable. But his tale also captures the reality of one-on-one aerial combat, loser goes home.... to God.

    Over the next 2 years, I was attacked by a few wild animals, experienced unexplained phenomenon, had a massive learning curve and truly experienced the Australian outback. If you are after a story that was written to appeal to the masses and that mainstream publishers love, then this probably isn't for you. If you are after a lighthearted read that provides the raw truth about life out bush and my experience of it, then click away. I hope you enjoy. Note - mature themes.

    It is a yarn still told in a hundred bars in tucked away ports where seafarers drink and wait out stormy weather. The story takes the reader on a smuggling voyage from the Atlantic down the Red Sea to Kenya, to Thailand and back across the Indian Ocean to Spain then the Netherlands. No notoriety, no articles in magazines, no calling for help when things get bad. Medical emergencies at sea, sharks, pirates, monsoon storms, and the Guardia Civil, notwithstanding… backing off was not an option. After 12 years of sailing and smuggling in the N. Atlantic and the Caribbean, Ranen, an old school pre electronic navigation sailor who smuggles to pay the bills for a lifestyle of dangerous freedom, heads for the Indian Ocean aboard his sleek deep ocean sailing boat, Sara. He left with a solid plan to sail new oceans, and do business in a new arena with different cultures. What happens when he gets there sends him on a path that was nothing he imagined, but such is the world of sailing and smuggling. Although Ranen has written this story in first person, It is also told from the perspective of the courageous young “Kenya Cowgirl” who became his crew and lover, all told through her journal entries from that voyage. In the days when “5/11” Beverly Johnson and Lynn Hill were winning the respect of the “rock star” climbers in Yosemite, Ranen was throwing a young Arianna Bell into the maelstrom of long distance non-stop sailing/smuggling. This is her story as well. Surprising twists of fate, cat and mouse with the law and other bad guys, as well as up close accounts of at life at sea in challenging conditions. Like living in a Dylan song.

    Miraculously, his daughter was unharmed, but his wife faced a series of life-threatening injuries, including the same one that famously left Christopher Reeve paralyzed. Following the accident, Segal began sending regular email updates to their circle of friends and family—a list that continued to grow as others heard of the event and were moved by the many emotional and spiritual issues it raised. Segal's compelling memoir is an intimate and honest chronicle built around these email updates, and is a profound example of how people show up for one another in times of crisis.Alternatingly harrowing, humorous, heartbreaking, and hopeful, this is an uplifting tribute to love, determination, and how the compassion of community holds the power to heal, serving as an inspiring testament to the resilience of the human spirit when faced with pain and adversity.

    They were already used to a simple life, having spent the last three years living on their boat in France for the summer seasons, and returning to the UK and their caravan for the winters. This tiny cabin would now be their new home for the winter months, taking them a step further along the road to self-sufficiency. They had no electricity, no kitchen, no bathroom or bedroom and the loo was a bucket in a shed, but the property came with five acres of field and woodland.From now on their lives would be simple, pared back to the basics, but they found that an off-grid lifestyle was by no means an uncomfortable experience. Responsibilities didn’t disappear but they changed, becoming less onerous. There was more time to think, and to appreciate the natural world around them. Living in such rural isolation, each day brought something new to marvel at: deer browsing in the field at dusk, salamanders on the doorstep, owls calling by night.If their own world felt increasingly magical, the outside world was far from it. They had moved to a foreign country at an historic time, living through a pandemic and adapting to the day-to-day implications of Brexit.A Simple Life doesn’t just follow Mary-Jane and Michael as they settle into their new lives, it also raises questions about what really matters to people. What makes us happy? How does it feel to have few possessions? Will life become unbearable without a flushing toilet?Thought-provoking and amusing, this book opens a window onto a different way of living. Mary-Jane shares a wealth of information and, if you have ever found yourself longing for a simpler life, this might tempt you to take those first tentative steps on the journey.

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    In his car were the drugs the team needed if they were to have any chance of playing a competitive part in the 1998 Tour de France. The car was searched, he was immediately arrested and so the story that has been undermining the sport of cycling since the death of Tommy Simpson in 1967, finally broke. Imprisoned for sixteen days, sacked from the Festina team and ostracised from the sport to which he had dedicated his life, Willy Voet at last was able to tell the truth. His sensational story will change cycling forever.Cocaine, amphetamines, EPO, heroin - all these are now considered not optional but necessary, not to win but just to compete in the Tour de France. Details of how these drugs are obtained, mixed together to make cocktails, administered and concealed are all included in this graphic and uninhibited account of how drugs brought cycling to its knees.