A fascinating historical document has now emerged which shows that there were indeed rules and in 1973 they were recorded on paper by none other than DCI Gene Hunt himself.Divided into ten sections, The Rules of Modern Policing - 1973 Edition covers everything from interrogating suspects and undercover operations to driving and dress code. Several of the rules are illustrated with diagrams, and photographs of DCI Hunt himself illustrate the more physical parts of the job: how to hit suspects so you don't leave a mark; how to signal the importance of your arrival by crashing into inanimate objects (cardboard boxes are a perfect example here - lots of noise; no damage to your motor); how to roll over the bonnet of your Cortina without making a dick of yourself. Completing the book is an invaluable glossary of police terms, covering everything from blag to lag, and nonce to ponce.An essential reference work for fans of Life of Mars, The Rules of Modern Policing offers a unique insight to seventies' law enforcement that will make you laugh until you cry like the wet little turd you are.

    Akbar's amazing story of three generations of a Muslim family —based on his own—and how they deal with the fluctuating contours of Hindu-Muslim relations. Telinipara, a small jute mill town some 30 miles north of Kolkata along the Hooghly, is a complex Rubik's Cube of migrant Bihari workers, Hindus and Muslims; Bengalis poor and 'bhadralok'; and Sahibs who live in the safe, 'foreign' world of the Victoria Jute Mill. Into this scattered inhabitation enters a child on the verge of starvation, Prayaag, who is saved and adopted by a Muslim family, converts to Islam and takes on the name of Rahmatullah. As Rahmatullah knits Telinipara into a community, friendship, love trust and faith are continually tested by the cancer of riots. Incidents—conversion, circumcision, the arrival of the plague of electricity—and a fascinating array of characters: the ultimate Brahmin, Rahmatullah's friend Girija Maharaj; the worker's leader, Bauna Sardar; the storyteller, Talat Mian; the poet-teacher, Syed Ashfaque; the smiling mendicant, Burha Deewana; the sincere Sahib, Simon Hogg; and then the questioning, demanding third generation of the author and his friend Kamala, interlink into a narrative of social history as well as a powerful memoir. Blood Brothers is a chronicle of its age, its canvas as enchanting as its narrative, a personal journey through change as tensions build, stretching the bonds of a lifetime to breaking point and demanding, in the end, the greatest sacrifice. Its last chapters, written in a bare-bones, unemotional style, are the most moving as the author searches for hope amid raw wounds with a surgeon's scalpel.

    In the meantime, enjoy this freebie from God: OMG: How I Created the Universe, Adam, and Steve, which contains the first five chapters on the Creation of Adam and Steve (you read correctly) excerpted from The Last Testament.

    His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.  Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.  After being unceremoniously dumped by the girl he was certain was “the one,” Charlie realized his neighbors’ conversations were not only amusing, but also offered him access to a completely uncensored woman’s perspective on the world. From the importance of effectively Facebook-stalking potential girlfriends and effortlessly pulling off pastel, to learning when in the early stages of dating is too presumptuous to bring a condom and how to turn food poisoning into a dieting advantage, the girls get Charlie into trouble, but they also get him out of it—without ever having a clue of their impact on him.

    WHAT are the dangers of getting directions from a fairy tale frog? WHERE do archangels go to kick back and relax? HOW can a garden gnome mend a broken heart? WHO is the last person you’d expect to visit you at Christmas? WHY shouldn’t you let Satan organise your funeral? Find out the answers to these and other pressing questions in this collection of short stories from the authors of the Clovenhoof series.

    With over a billion views and millions of subscribers to his name, he is the undisputed king of social media. But despite this success he is a self-confessed bell-end. Excessively posting selfies, oversharing about his dead nan, spending all day scouring Tinder and suffering from red-hot Fifa rage, are just some of his undesirable online habits. However, with acceptance comes salvation and now KSI is blowing the doors off the internet to find the cure. No one is spared, as KSI takes down fellow YouTubers, trolls, paedos, Tinder catfishers and Nigerian scammers in an all-out assault on the online universe. Along the way he also reveals how to become a YouTube kingpin as well as his hot Fifa tips, before he unveils his online revolution to help save the next generation from his fate.So, if you want to avoid becoming a total bell-end, then calm your tits, and simply take the medicine KSI is dishing up.

    His wife Mariamma stretches their money, raises their two boys, and, in her spare time, gleefully fantasizes about Ousep dying. One day, their seemingly happy seventeen-year-old son Unni—an obsessed comic-book artist—falls from the balcony, leaving them to wonder whether it was an accident. Three years later, Ousep receives a package that sends him searching for the answer, hounding his son’s former friends, attending a cartoonists’ meeting, and even accosting a famous neurosurgeon. Meanwhile, younger son Thoma, missing his brother, falls head over heels for the much older girl who befriended them both. Haughty and beautiful, she has her own secrets. The Illicit Happiness of Other People—a smart, wry, and poignant novel—teases you with its mystery, philosophy, and unlikely love story.

    Thematically covering every subject imaginable, from God to dogs, this collection is the seminal gathering of our national wit and a picture of who we are as a nation - a monument to our monumental silliness.'An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.' George MikesJane Austen, Jo Brand, Craig Brown, Winston Churchill, Alan Clark, Jeremy Clarkson, Billy Connolly, Peter Cook, Tommy Cooper, Stephen Fry, A.A. Gill, Boris Johnson, Samuel Johnson, Maureen Lipman, Spike Milligan, Eric Morecambe, William Shakespeare, George Bernard Shaw, Frank Skinner, Sue Townsend, Peter Ustinov, Queen Victoria, Oscar Wilde, P.G. Wodehouse, Victoria Wood and many more.

    Aside from issue 1, all of these issues are permanently out of print! PLUS: 2 new pages and a new "cleaned up" look to issue 3. Foreword and scathing letters column by Dan Harmon. Idiot guide to the cast list and Jeff's samples. Scud's top ten influences. Fan mail. Fan art. Fan-tastic book.

    Diarising his ramble in the form of a 'journey journal', Alan details the people and places he encounters, ruminates on matters large and small and, on a final leg fraught with danger, becomes - not a man (because he was one to start off with) - but a better, more inspiring example of a man. This deeply personal book is divided into chapters and has a colour photograph on the front cover. It is deeply personal. Through witty vignettes, heavy essays and nod-inducing pieces of wisdom, Alan shines a light on the nooks of the nation and the crannies of himself, making this a biography that biographs the biographer while also biographing bits of Britain.

    A novella tells the story of a newly retired Frankie Boyle, lured back onto the panel-show circuit when people who fall under a certain level of celebrity start getting raped. Frankie pitches increasingly desperate ideas for new shows as he slides down the showbiz rankings and his arse drops ever closer to an obscure sodomising.Interwoven with this numb hymn to show-business are chapters detailing Boyle's worldview, an incessant fusillade of laughter and despair, the hollow clanging scream of a dying mechanical God and an honest attempt to describe the world by refusing to take it seriously.Work! Consume! Die! is the collected wisdom of an idiot. (Nobody's looking, just stick it under your coat and run out of the shop.)Frankie Boyle is a supervillain in a world without heroes.

     Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring readers Laughter the Best Medicine, All-Time Faves, a collection of the most hilarious jokes and anecdotes we’ve come across over the years. As you turn the pages of our newest collection, you’ll realize once again that laughter is always the best medicine. --A woman accompanied her husband when he went for his annual checkup.  While the patient was getting dressed, the doctor came in and said to the wife, "I don't like the way he looks."  "Neither do I," she said, "but he's handy around the house."--Merritt K. Freeman in Y.B. News --Anthropologists have discovered a 50-million-year-old human skull with three perfectly preserved teeth intact.  They're not sure, but they think it may be the remains of the very first hockey player.--Jay Leno --"What's your handicap these days?" one golfer asked another.  "I'm a scratch golfer...I write down all my good scores and scratch out all my bad ones."--Charles Shulz, United Features Syndicate

    هذه الإشاعة تدفع مجموعة من الشبان إلىزيارة المكان للتحقق بأنفسهم من الموضوع. مغامرات تتداخلوقصص تتشعب، يسافر عبرها فهد وفارس ونور وسامي فيرحلة عبر الزمن، وعبر تجارب تؤدي إلى فهم أعمق للذات.The only fairy tale or rather “jinn-tale” bedtime stories to come out of the Middle East are hundreds of years old. Well, it was about time for a new one. Part folklore, part philosophy, part myth, and part truth, “Maskoon” (The Haunted) is a young reader’s book based on a real haunted palace in the UAE.The author’s visit to the palace left her with questions and doubts that translated into this bedtime fable-like tale of friendship, loneliness, courage and love.Maskoon was hailed by the media as one of the first novel-length books written in Arabic within the paranormal/horror genre. The book contains a special poetic contribution from the renowned Emirati poet, Rashid Sharar.

    In this classic collection of magazine articles, Ephron does what she does best: embrace American culture with love, cynicism, and unmatched wit. From tracking down the beginnings of the self-help movement to dressing down the fashion world’s most powerful publication to capturing a glimpse of a legendary movie in the making, these timeless pieces tap into our enduring obsessions with celebrity, food, romance, clothes, entertainment, and sex. Whether casting her ingenious eye on renowned director Mike Nichols, Cosmopolitan magazine founder Helen Gurley Brown—or herself, as she chronicles her own beauty makeover—Ephron deftly weaves her journalistic skill with the intimate style of an essayist and the incomparable talent of a great storyteller.

    A world of speakeasies and dancing girls where a gambler or bootlegger is perfectly normal and respectable in every way. Those familiar with "Guys and Dolls" know what to expect!