"A valuable tool for anyone who writes or speaks."-- Zig Zigler

    Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series.The Onion is the world’s most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor.

    It features an incredible and diverse range of totally genuine names, evoking everything from body parts (Dick Brain), sex (Matilda Suckcock), illness (Barbaray Headache) and toilet functions (Peter Piddle) to food (Hazel Nutt), animals (Minty Badger) and places (Phila Delphia). Every single one has been checked for authenticity and its source is given, as well as extra notes where further fascinating illumination is possible. The book provides a rigorously researched yet laugh-out-loud overview of Britain's eccentricity through the ages.

    Well, fret no more! The Rock Snob's Dictionary is here to define every single sacred totem of rock fandom's know-it-all fraternity, from Alt.country to Zimmy. (That's what Rock Snobs call Bob Dylan, by the way.)

    Because without stress, life is boring. Increase your own stress levels and create stress in others with simple measures such as:* If you are stressed, make sure you communicate this to those around you. Soon they'll be stressed too.* Switch the decaffeinated and caffeinated coffees around whenever you can.* Always join in other people's arguments. Try to get others to join in too.* When you're the first car in line at a traffic light, get out and read a map. Try to miss the green light at least twice.* A double espresso just before bed is always a winner.* Replace your bulbs with overhead, neon-strip lights. If you can get ones that flicker, all the better.* If someone is telling you a joke and you know the punch line, wait until they've nearly finished, then tell them you've heard it before.* Ask single women if they've got a boyfriend yet. Repeat on Valentine's Day.

    In the essay, Twain laments the dour ways in which men of America's Gilded Age employ man's "most faithfull friend." He concludes by insisting that: "the wise thing is for us diligently to train ourselves to lie thoughtfully, judiciously; to lie with a good object, and not an evil one; to lie for others' advantage, and not our own; to lie healingly, charitably, humanely, not cruelly, hurtfully, maliciously; to lie gracefully and graciously, not awkwardly and clumsily; to lie firmly, frankly, squarely, with head erect, not haltingly, tortuously, with pusillanimous mien, as being ashamed of our high calling."

    The stories are satires on Indian political and social climate of 1960s and 70s.

    Why do parachute jumpers yell "Geronimo"?Is it aerodynamically impossible for bumblebees to fly?Will watching too much TV ruin your eyes?Fresh from the popular newspaper column by CECIL ADAMS!WHAT IS CECIL ADAMS'S IQ?"Do you want it in scientific notation? Little Ed, get out the slide rule."--Cecil AdamsFor more than a quarter of a century Cecil Adams has been courageously attempting to lift the veil of ignorance surrounding the modern world.  Now, in his fifth book, he takes yet another stab, dissecting such classic conundrums as--If you swim less than an hour after eating, will you get cramps and die?--What's the difference between a Looney Tune and a Merrie Melody?--Can you see a Munchkin committing suicide in The Wizard of Oz?--Was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre based on actual events?--Did medieval lords really have "the right of the first night"?And much more!THE CRITICS: STILL RAVING AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!"Trenchant, witty answers to the great imponderables."--Denver Post

    It is more powerful than the Mafia or the military. It has global catastrophic effects and can be found anywhere from the world's most powerful boardrooms to your local pub. This is the immensely powerful force of human stupidity.Seeing the shambolic state of human affairs, and sensing the dark force at work behind it, Carlo M. Cipolla, the late, noted professor of economic history at the University of California, Berkeley, created a vitally important economic model that would allow us to detect, know, and neutralize this threat: The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity.If you've ever found yourself despairing at the ubiquity of stupidity among even the most 'intellectual' of people, then this hilarious, timely, and slightly alarming little book is for you. Arm yourself in the face of baffling political realities, unreasonable colleagues, or the unbridled misery of Christmas day with the in-laws with the first and only economic model for stupidity."Cipolla's subtle tongue-in-cheek humor made this book an underground classic in Italy. Today, under current worldwide political trends, it reads more like black humor. Keep in mind: reliable statistical data shows that 98% of the people seriously believe that they are far less stupid than the average." --Carlo Rovelli, author of Seven Brief Lessons on Physics

     Now, the author of many best-selling books on raising children has combined his two most successful volumes into a single revised and updated edition for new parents -- and those who need new ideas. John Rosemond's New Parent Power!, presents the renowned family psychologist's complete philosophy and methodology from the original Parent Power! supported by the details of his Six-Point Plan For Raising Happy, Healthy Children. As always, Rosemond delivers with a highly readable and refreshing tone, urging parents to listen to their hearts and their gut.

    The easy-to-use, two-step NotSorry Method for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f*ck about: Family dramaHaving a "bikini body"IcelandCo-workers' opinions, pets, and childrenAnd other bullsh*t! And it will free you to spend your time, energy, and money on the things that really matter. So what are you waiting for? Stop giving a f*ck and start living your best life today!

    They were part of the Pentagon’s most daring attempt since Vietnam to bring social science to the battlefield, a program called the Human Terrain System that is driven by the notion that you can’t win a war if you don’t understand the enemy. Developed by an eccentric anthropologist raised by hippie squatters in San Francisco and a patriotic ex-soldier who wanted nothing more than to help the army change the way it wages wars, the field team in Afghanistan that November day included an intrepid Texas blond, a former bodyguard for Afghan president Hamid Karzai, and an ex-military intelligence sergeant who had come to Afghanistan to make peace with his troubled past. But not all goes as planned. In this military thriller, veteran war reporter Vanessa Gezari follows these three idealists from the hope that brought them to Afghanistan through the events of the fateful day when one is gravely wounded, an Afghan is dead, and a proponent of cross-cultural engagement is charged with his murder. Through it all, these brave Americans ended up showing the world just how determined they were to get things right, how hard it was to really understand a place like Afghanistan where lying has been a major tool of survival, and why all future wars will involve this strange mix of fighting and listening. Gezari is the only reporter who has been given such open access to the lives of the people inside the Human Terrain Program, to the brilliant, ambitious, and mercurial figures who conceived it, and to the top military brass who believed in it. The Tender Soldier is the first and only account of a historic, little-known mission. It is a true story of war and sacrifice, in the best tradition of Horse Soldiers and The Good Soldiers.

    Greg and his wife, Amiira, share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. From Greg Behrendt, the co-author of the smash two-million copy bestseller He's Just Not That Into You, comes It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.There's no doubt about it--breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there's one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can't and shouldn't be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. Starting right here, right now, it's time to dry your tears, and open this book to Chapter One-and start turning your breakup into a breakover.The ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through "he-tox," to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, and reframing reality-- seeing the relationship for what it was. Complete with an essential workbook to help you put your emotions down on paper and heal.

    Written in a style that is simple and engaging, it explores the history of Buddhism, its philosophies, and its relevance in today’s society. The book provides numerous meditative exercises that will allow you to experience the wondrous teachings of this ancient wisdom. Inside you will read about... ✓ A Brief History of Buddhism ✓ The Spread of Buddhism ✓ The Servant or the Master: Which One are You? ✓ Self-Identification with the Mind and Body ✓ Meditation ✓ The Presence of Mindfulness ✓ The Principle of Karma ✓ Dualistic versus Non-Dualistic Perspectives ✓ The Principle of Non-Substantiality ✓ One’s Life and the Environment ✓ Sentient and Non-Sentient Beings ✓ Attachment ✓ The Ten Worlds The author explains how Buddhism is more than a religion; it’s an internal science. Rather than relying on dogma or sacred texts, Buddhism teaches us to look inward and challenge our most deep-seated beliefs for the purpose liberating ourselves from our minds.

    A Manifesto is the brainchild of Eric Jarosinski, the self-described “failed intellectual” behind @NeinQuarterly, a “Compendium of Utopian Negation” that uses the aphoristic potential of Twitter to plumb the existential abyss of modern life — and finds it bottomless.Nein is not no. Nein is not yes. Nein is nein.Nein believes in nothing. Militantly.Nein does not take questions.Nein regrets to inform you.Nein is not style. Nein is not syntax.Nein does not thank you for shopping.Nein is not the medium. Nein is not the message.Nein says no. To a yes. That is a no.Nein closes its eyes to your surveillance state. Your dating profile. Your dreams. And hears the sea.Stridently hopeless and charmingly dour, Nein. A Manifesto is an irreverent philosophical investigation into the everyday that sounds the call to rediscover its strangeness. Inspired by the aphorisms of Nietzsche, Karl Kraus, Walter Benjamin, and Theodor W. Adorno, Jarosinski’s epigrammatic style reinvents short-form philosophy for a world doomed to distraction.As tenets of a rather unorthodox manifesto, Jarosinski’s four-line compositions seek to illuminate our most urgent questions. And the least. The result is a compelling and thought-provoking translation of digital into print. Theory into praxis. And tragedy into farce.