Keeping her end up while seven grown-up children tear about the fecking place like the eejits haven't got a home to go to.Packed with Mammy's tips for keeping a perfect family, or at least a family, as well as contributions from her children, neighbours and other hangers on, Mrs Brown's Family Handbook dispenses advice in her own inimical fecking style. You'll learn:• why every mammy's secret weapon is the tea towel• the dos and don't of cleaning up Granddad • what Dermot doesn't know about farting (not much)• what Winnie knows about seks (not enough)• all about the Five-Sausages-A-Day Diet (hint: contains sausages)• from Maria all about pain relief in child birth (if its free, take it)The perfect gift for anyone in a large family - it's one present and cheap - or with no family at all (seeing what they're missing might cheer the miserable feckers up), Mrs Brown's Family Handbook is also ideal for anyone sick and tired of giving out bloody DVDs for Christmas.Brendan O'Carroll is an Irish writer, producer, comedian, actor, director and author. He is best known for playing Agnes Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys, which won the best sitcom BAFTA in 2012. He has written four films and nine comedy shows, including The Course (1995), The Last Wedding (1999) and last year saw the release of his DVD for the live tour Good Mourning Mrs Brown. He has also published seven novels, including The Mammy, The Scrapper and The Young Wan - a number of which have been translated into 12 languages.

    He is quickly disappointed when a dead body turns up floating in the Great Dismal Swamp. And this is not just any dead body. Ashley Myrtle was the wife of a prominent local politician. Greg soon discovers that Ashley, an apparent drowning victim, may have been murdered. Unfortunately, no one wants to believe him. The mayor, the woman's husband, an old boyfriend and even her coworkers seem eager to rule her death an accidental drowning. With help from a reluctant FBI agent, Greg follows a trail of small town secrets and lies to discover what really happened on that cold spring day. Refusing to give up, he discovers a vital clue deep in the swamp that leads to the killer. But justice won't be served until he can prove it was a case of murder.

    They realize too late that this is no ordinary plague...and that the enemy they have to fight may not be the only thing they need to worry about.Book One of The Salvation Plague series.The Turning includes foul language, graphic violence, and some mature themes.

    The moment Frank Limosin sees gorgeous eighteen-year-old Suki Flood sitting on the rear deck of the red Trans Am in the hot empty desert, he feels trouble in the air. The Trans Am has a flat tire. They're over ten miles from the nearest highway. And Suki, dressed in short shorts and a tiny halter top, doesn't know how to change a tire. Against Suki's will, Frank gives her a lesson in tire changing, then he thinks that's it, he'll never see her again. How wrong can one man be? Because Suki turns out to be fifty times more trouble than Frank ever dreamed possible. He saved her once. Now he has to save her again and again and again . . .

    When she stabs him and flees to her mother’s house with her three-year-old daughter, she thinks it’s finally over. Unfortunately, the drama has just begun! “Will she find the courage to leave him for good? And will he let her?” Lisa Perkins, seventeen, is the “strong one,” or at least that’s what Tabitha and Shanice think. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. When she leaves her home after her mother refuses to believe that her stepfather has raped and impregnated her, she thinks that distance will solve everything. She finds that she couldn’t be more wrong. Shanice Thomas, fourteen, is giving teenage rebellion a whole knew meaning. Her mother recently found Christ, and the party that was Shanice’s life is apparently over. Thrust into situations she isn’t equipped to handle, Shanice suddenly finds herself learning painful new lessons about the consequences of sleeping around.Strawberry Mansion: A Philadelphia Story is fierce fiction peppered with urban grit! It not only explores the girls’ struggles in vivid detail, it highlights their loyalty, love, and kindness for each other! You won’t be able to put this book down!

    This hardcover, double issue is a return to pulp horror comics of the 1950's, but stylized and written for a new generation of horror fans! The book is anchored by the mysterious Blueman, an intimidating phantom that lives in the deepest, darkest recesses of the net. Join him as he tells two spine-tingling tales full of twists and turns! He is The Rake:  Our first story features a creature that's inspired a massive fandom around the web. The Rake is a mysterious beast that appears to people in the night as a dark omen. When the strange entity's presence causes the death of one man's wife, he becomes obsessed with getting payback, but is his quest for vengeance misguided? He Is... is a classic tale of revenge with a sinister twist that will send chills through your body! I Waited Inside Her Closet: The account of a dangerous serial killer and his unhealthy obsession with fame. But there's more than meets the eye in this story. The homicidal maniac's grisly exploits soon lead him to a terrible truth when he comes face to face with something even more terrifying than himself. Pick up this CREATURE DOUBLE-FEATURE and you won't be disappointed!

    Following his dream of becoming a writer, he turns away from everything he knows, and enters adulthood embittered, angry, and resentful.As he struggles to make a name for himself, he is presented with the opportunity of a lifetime. Although it requires a betrayal of his principles as an artist, he resigns himself to what appears to be fate. The writer’s compromise brings money and recognition, but these are fleeting and he soon finds himself caught in a web of depression and financial hardship. Desperate and sinking quickly, the writer begins taking trips to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, where he hopes to reconnect with his muse. During one of these excursions, he meets Nigel Moon, a grizzled fellow author nearing the end of his career. Moon gives the writer a second golden opportunity and the chance to prove himself in the face of personal doubts—but only if the writer is able to set his past aside.Equal parts witty and dark and wry and tragic, the text uses simplicity as its focus. Raw and honest, Becoming Moon is an unforgettable book about exorcising past demons and finding personal redemption.

    The isolation is all but unbearable until a mysterious tenant moves into the house at the bottom of the hill. James Dunford has come from America but he won’t say why. He spends his days fixing up the old cottage and walking the beach with a stray dog that showed up on his doorstep.As the weeks pass, Tara tries to get to know James, but he resists her at every turn. And it's not until a local villager recognizes him from the news that she realizes his visit might be about more than just a vacation. On the night of a big storm, Tara finally confronts James about why he is there. But how can she expect him to be honest when she, too, is hiding her own dark secret?Set against the backdrop of the Hunger Strikes in Northern Ireland, Sunsets Never Wait is a story about love, loss, and the risks of hanging on to the past. No matter how much the world has let you down, there’s always a possibility for second chances.

    Hoyle is about to learn that his photographs were not without consequences, and whether he survives the night will depend on what exactly he witnessed through his camera's unflinching eye. This short story was first published in Robert Randisi's "Greatest Hits" anthology in November, 2005. It subsequently appeared in "Best British Mysteries" and was short-listed for the CWA Short Story Dagger.

    She is spiritual. She is powerful. To become a detective was her passion. Honey is working with the most famous and intelligent detective in her city. Through a quirk of fate, she ends up investigating a case of human trafficking. Her interactions with the victims are thrilling and terrifying. Working on this case she comes to know how deep, barbaric and inhumane the web of powerful people is. Will she be able to solve this case? Can her spirituality help her make sense of this dark world? ENCOUNTER WITH SOUL Rasbeen is intelligent, smart and ambitious. She has dreams to fulfill, but her father has something else in mind for her. His negative pressure and attitude hold power over her life. Will she be able to survive? One day, she has an encounter with her soul. Can the soul lift her from her deathbed and make her a confident girl?

    Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    After she buries him, she knows her only option is to travel down the mountain to live with her Aunt Eunice. She finds a baby on her way down, whose parents had obviously died tragically. With the child, she finds shelter from a blizzard in a cabin on the side of the mountain. Brandon Taylor is on a mission for the sheriff in Trace Hollow, checking on the homesteaders around the area. When a sudden storm comes up, he has to take shelter in his family’s hunting cabin, on the side of the mountain. When he finds a beautiful young lady, a stranger to him, in the cabin along with her son, he tells himself repeatedly he can’t marry her. When they reach her aunt’s house, and the other men come sniffing around her, his feelings become more apparent to him. Can he find the courage to marry the beautiful Gabby? Or will he let her be married off to one of the other young men in town?

    Naomi Evans, the ordinary kindergarten teacher, a devoted mother of two and wife to her loving husband, Tyree, never would have imagined falling for a fine ass street king.Naomi and Tyree have been together since their freshman year in college and he is all that she knows. Three years of marriage to the love of her life seemed perfect… At first. She made the money, he stayed at home with the kids. To many it seems that they are living the New American Dream and to Naomi there is no greater feeling than being with her family.However, that all suddenly changes once she meets a sexy thug named Marquise who desires Naomi from the very moment he lays eyes on her. With just the flash of that million-dollar smile, his cocky attitude and irresistible lips, Naomi becomes intoxicated in Marquise and lets him seduce her on the very first night of their meeting. Ashamed and guilty for stepping out on her husband, Naomi tries her best to forget her encounter with Marquise, but as life continues to throw him in her path, she finds him harder and harder to resist. Marquise suddenly opens Naomi’s eyes to a world of pure ecstasy that she never knew existed, as he pushes her beyond her limits. Limits that Tyree could never dare to reach. Naomi is now torn between the only life that she’s ever known and the life that she has now become so addicted to. And to make matters worse, she begins to drift away from her family in order to get her daily fix with her new addiction. But that isn’t even the best part… Her new addiction has no idea about his competition waiting for Naomi to come home every night. So how will he react to finding out that Naomi Evans isn’t the sweet, single, innocent but freaky girl she made herself out to be?Only time will tell…

    What will her uncle do next? Hiding from her dreadful uncle, the new baron, Lucy finds herself in a cupboard. Only it is not quite big enough and she spills out in front of a mysterious and handsome man. The chance encounter is the start of a beautiful friendship and Lucy soon finds herself in love with Felix Godfrey, the Earl of Lyndon. It is the one bright light in her frightful life. Now she is living with her pompous uncle and his dark and dismal son. With her freedom curtailed she cannot see a way to escape and yet she knows she must. When her maid is frightened by the new baron Lucy finds help in a most unexpected ally. Can she escape? What will become of her maid? Will true love find a way?

    His self esteem and drive abandoning him as he felt the Navy had. Travelling to Glasgow on family business, he intervenes to help a woman; Marieke and her small child who he thinks are being mugged. He is unwittingly dragged into their nightmare, being hunted down by ruthless villains led by Nick Parson, a bent London copper, who will stop at nothing to silence her and recapture the evidence she holds against him.To keep them safe, Matt brings her home to Uist, thinking no one will find them in the peaceful hills of the remote community. But he underestimates Parson, who follows them home like an unrelenting Hebridean Storm. They hide, but even here, nowhere is safe. Matt seeks help from friends and family, but will it be enough to escape with their lives and to protect the safety of those they love?