Try, "I was overcome by the urge to alphabetize my pets," or perhaps a simple "Had ninja trouble." Steve has used both these excuses, and here they are hilariously illustrated. He also has claimed to have become temporarily feral, accidentally sold himself on eBay, and gotten stuck in a romantic montage. An illustration of Steve with Darth Vader accompanies the inarguable excuse "I was seduced by the Dark Side." He also gets lost in his duvet, and discovers he has a rather unusual superpower.

    An advocate of reason and common sense, the author debunks traditional believer apologetics and challenges theist platitudes, while providing food for thought and debate fodder for the neophyte to intermediate atheist. With more than one hundred no-holds-barred, plain-speaking rants and essays on a variety of religious subjects, The Atheist Camel Chronicles is the go-to book to find a burr to place under the saddle of the holier than thou, or to glean retorts to the banal "Truths" that religionists use to bolster their faith in the face of the Scientific Age and 21st century reality. Sometimes funny, always hard hitting and thought provoking, this book belongs in the library of every atheist, agnostic and skeptic who engages in debate and discourse with the religiously afflicted.

    The English language edition has been out of print for decades. One of Gorey's most beloved books, CATEGORY collects a series of fifty cat vignettes, originally created by the artist as accompaniments to a limited edition of his book Amphigorey.

    But some debates can never be settled no matter how much you run up your bar tab arguing with your friends. Well, it’s time to answer your questions once and for all: • Could an average guy start in the WNBA?• Would sumo wrestlers make great NFL linemen?• How easy is it for pro athletes to get laid? • How good are pro golfers at miniature golf?• Do pro athletes really play drunk or high?• How would a fan hit against a major league pitcher?To settle more than thirty of sports’ greatest (and most ridiculous) debates, Todd Gallagher has teamed up with coaches, general managers, and athletes—including LeBron James, Mike Tyson, Dwyane Wade, Johan Santana, Eddie George, Jose Canseco, and many others. But Gallagher didn’t just ask questions. He put these debates to the test—literally. He sent an all-midget lineup up against a pro baseball team. He swam freestyle against a doggie-paddling Olympic gold medalist. He recruited America's #1 darts player to test that uncanny accuracy in beer pong. And, yes, he stuck a frying pan in tennis star Andy Roddick’s hands and went to battle.The results are hilarious and enlightening. Best of all, once you have the answers you’ll be able to shut up the next loudmouth who tries to debate you at the bar.

    But are they? He is probably the only man who has ever requested the recipe for an airline’s lasagna or wanted to enjoy his flight with an inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. Prepare to meet the man who must have his diet of stir-fried mulberry leaves accommodated and the man who left his false teeth on a flight and is sure he recognized them on a later flight—in a flight attendant's mouth. Ravenscroft's correspondence tackles travel annoyances like excess baggage charges alongside more surreal letters, such as the one starting out asking an Australian airline if they offer an authentic Australian experience (for instance, Australian cuisine or in-flight movies) which then moves on to the question of at what age a baby is safe from being swallowed by a dingo.

    And his friend, Joe Bennett, does too. They both have small bladders but more often it's just to get a moment of quiet, a break from work, or because it's the only way they know how to politely end conversations.So they created a functional meditative guide to help people who suffer from social anxiety and deal with it in this very particular way. Although, it's a comedic book, the goal is to help these readers:1. Relax2. Recharge3. Rejoin the world outside of the bathroomIt's also fun entertainment for people simply hiding in the bathroom to avoid doing work.A Bathroom Book for People Not Pooping or Peeing But Using the Bathroom as an Escape will be waiting in the bathroom like a beacon for anxious readers looking to feel calm, confident, and less alone.

    A sweet, instantly relatable diary comic about self-discovery, mental health, relationships, and childhood. From bouts with anxiety and insecurity to the thrill of simple pleasures like secretly trying other people’s coats on at a party, she’s figuring things out as she goes along, navigating domestic life with her husband, Pat (aka “the Purple Guy”), and sharing her most embarrassing thoughts and habits so you don’t have to.For anyone who struggles with self-confidence or just likes to scrutinize the curious workings of relationships and everyday life, the confessional comic gems of “Underpants & Overbites” will make you laugh, think, and feel less alone.

    Now, in "Before Your Dog Can Eat Your Homework, First You Have to Do It," John once again finds himself seeking the wisdom of a canine companion. After years of parenting pets, last December, he became a father to his first child, William. Along with the many new joys of being a dad, John faced a new set of challenges?and it was Scoshi, his wizened white Maltese and faithful confidant for nearly two decades, who, at every turn, pointed the way. At once poignant, profound, and laugh-out-loud funny, this book is a one-of-a-kind celebration of the joys of parenting pets and children alike, and further testament to the enduring wisdom of man's best friend.

    From icons like Confucius, Marie Curie, and Henry David Thoreau, to Presidents Theodore Roosevelt and Calvin Coolidge, to contemporary notables like Ira Glass, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Neil Gaiman---their words are turned into sometimes heartwarming, sometimes sobering stories by cartoonist Gavin Aung Than. Be inspired, motivated, educated, and laugh as you read famous words as never before!

    — Shen"You know how, since the dawn of humanity, great philosophers and poets have dedicated their entire lives to exploring concepts like love, life itself, logic, and sorrow? Well, those great philosophers and poets are dead now, so I win." — Shen Emotions Explained With Buff Dudes is your fully illustrated guide to the hyper-conflicted, tragicomic feelings of our age. Featuring the resilient, shaggy-haired Shen, this debut collection of Owlturd Comix is a tale of triumph and survival — of getting your ass kicked by sleep deprivation and student loans, but never losing hope. Most of all, it's an amusing, instructive journey through a vast array of emotions, including those best explained with dudes who are buff.

    With more than 3 million sold, Gods Creative Power for Healing and Gods Creative Power for Finances were released. This amazing series has now sold more than 5 millions copies! The Gods Creative Power Gift Collection combines all three of these powerful teaching books into one volume.

    A HILARIOUS GRADUATION KEEPSAKE THAT GLEEFULLY EXPOSES THE NOT-ALWAYS-AWESOME REALITIES OF STARTING OUT IN THE ADULT WORLD Congrats! Congrats!You've made it so far.You're an adult now,you're even allowedin a bar.But long before you'regoing to succeed,You'll eff shit up,100% guaranteed.This ultimate graduation present is sure to bring a nervous smile to the face of any young adult about to face the wide world.

    Congressman Evan Gorgoni of Bloomington, IN, has served eight terms in a dysfunctional Congress and reached his limits of frustration. A medical event brings on the epiphany that there is no point in continuing to serve. But his frank expression, on Meet the Press, of his rationale for ending his political career is met with the unbidden call that he seek the White House—an unlikely destination for a vegan Congressman with a disdain for political posturing. Featuring 20 vegan recipes and a solution to America’s Electoral College problem, Off the Reservation is an original take on the art of the possible. "Glen Merzer's Off the Reservation is as politically savvy and poetically literate a book as I have read in a long while. It is a completely gorgeous and rewarding experience."--Jason Alexander, Actor “The book is called Off the Reservation , but it’s 100% On The Money about how far removed political discourse has strayed from reality. With unparalleled wit and insight, Glen Merzer dispatches one Evan Gorgoni to go forth and speak the truth to a weary nation, and the result is one of the best reads I’ve had in years. I loved it!” —Ed Begley, Jr., Actor/Environmental Activist “I literally couldn’t put down this superbly-written book once I began to read. Why? Because Off the Reservation is wildly entertaining and deeply inspiring. And because I laughed out loud so many times I lost count. What a fabulous, powerful, meaningful book!” —John Robbins, author, Diet For A New America, and Co-founder, foodrevolution.org “ Off the Reservation is the best book I’ve ever read!” —Howard F. Lyman, author, Mad Cowboy “Glen Merzer’s Off the Off the Reservation is a masterpiece of wit and relevance. Twenty-first century America is portrayed here in the language of politics—an unlikely feat but a convincing one, thanks to Merzer’s keen eye for both straight facts and tortuous contradictions. Intelligent, relevant, up-to-date, and unwavering, Merzer’s fictional analysis gets to the heart and soul of American society today. I confidently predict that anyone who has the good fortune to read this book will treasure the experience.” —Philip Appleman, poet and novelist

    Nathan decided to draw his favorite tips and etiquette lessons and post them on the internet, where his 12 original panels went viral immediately and became the basis for this hilarious illustrated book (check out the fully animated ebook, too!).In NYC Basic Tips and Etiquette, Pyle reveals the secrets and unwritten rules for living in and visiting New York including the answers to such burning questions as, which cabs should I try to hail? What is a bodega? Which way is Uptown? Why are there so many doors in the sidewalk? How do I walk on an escalator? Do we need to be touching right now? Where should I inhale or exhale while passing sidewalk garbage? How long should I honk my horn? If New York were a game show, how would I win? What happens when I stand in the bike lane? Who should get the empty subway seats? How do I stay safe during a trash tornado? Each tip is a little story illustrated in simple black and white drawings.Visitors and newcomers to New York will love it because the advice is smart, funny, and not condescending. New Yorkers will love it for its strategic and humorous approach to mastering the daily chaos of the city.

    But I wrote a lot of good poems.”So maintains Anita Liberty, the caustically funny New York City performance artist who was going along happily healing her hurt by hating and humiliating her detestable ex-boyfriend on stage and in print until the unthinkable happened: she had a good date. And one good date deserves another. And another. And another. And, all of the sudden, Anita Liberty finds herself in a predicament. Getting dumped launched Anita’s career–Will falling in love finish it? Who’s more important: her devoted audience or her newly devoted boyfriend? And on top of everything, Hollywood won’t stop calling and Anita can’t figure out if It wants a serious commitment or just a little bit of no-strings-attached fun. From digging mercilessly into the minutiae of her new relationship to dramatically torching every professional bridge she crosses in L.A., Anita refuses to let a big load of bliss get dumped right in the middle of her career path.“He said that my work was amazing and hilarious and smart and that he can’t wait to see me perform.So I had sex with him.”“My boyfriend asked me to change my look.To something other than contemptuous.”{BARGAIN} Whatever Hollywood ends up paying me for the rights to the story of my life.“It’s easier to go back to fantasizing about perfection . . .than to accept that perfection is just a fantasy.”“Boyfriend thinks I’d rather be right than happy.Boyfriend’s right.But I’m not telling him that.”Through blog entries, film scenes, poems, and to-do lists, Anita Liberty documents the perils and pitfalls of dating, sex, relationships, artistic success, and the kind of true love that sucks the creative life out of you to the point where you just end up staring at a blank computer screen and thinking gooey thoughts about your new boyfriend even though you should be writing.