Always ready with an impeccable phrase or a sly wink, he shares tales of the most darkly ironic sort, including a field report from a human abattoir, a chronicle of dating Death, and, of course, the tale of the goat that ate its own legs. The thirty-one bizarre, insightful, and morbidly hilarious tales in My Goat Ate Its Own Legs: Tales for Adults will delight anyone who doesn't take life (or death) too seriously.

    Play games, get rich. It seemed like the perfect way to make the cash my family needed to keep us off the streets. It seemed too good to be true.It was.I made a terrible mistake and stumbled into the truth behind the world’s most popular Virtual Reality game. Now I’m marked for death and the most powerful people in the world want to hang their crimes around my neck.They call me a thief. A murderer. The killer of worlds.The people who know the truth call me the Saint of Shadows.I didn’t set out to destroy the world, but somebody had to do it.Somebody had to set you free. Dragon Web Online: Inception kicks off the Electric Shadows LitRPG Adventure series. Meet the Saint of Shadows as he begins his journey into a virtual reality that threatens to consume the world as we know it.

    My Man Jeeves 1919Right Ho, Jeeves 1922Death At The Excelsior, Others 1914

    Soldiers from two planets unite to face an ancient alien enemy.Captain Jack Chestire has been exiled after a government coup. But this war hero finds a new purpose when he discovers a gate to another planet...Where he becomes a pilot in a squadron of quantum-powered fighters.Their foe is a terrorist organization led by an alien-human hybrid: a warlord who is worshiped as a living goddess. Human courage is pitted against alien technology as the final battle is fought to decide the future of the human race.

    Witness a fierce, loving bear/wolf pack emerge as a force to be reckoned with in the desert Southwest. Follow the characters you love and meet new heroes & heroines straight through to the series finale. And save $$$ over the price of three individual titles! Salvation, Book 4, is a deeply emotional tale of loss, love, and discovery. Get your tissues ready! In Deception, Book 5, a tenacious she-wolf thrusts herself into danger, risking it all for her destined mate and the shifter families she loves. Finally, in Celebration, join the whole clan for holiday festivities and tear-jerking happy ends in a series finale guaranteed to satisfy! Behind the doors of the Blue Moon Saloon, alpha shifters confront their darkest fears and deepest desires. These highly acclaimed, emotional tales feature wounded heroes, powerful alphas, kickass heroines, and the spellbinding scenery of the desert Southwest. Everything you need for an unforgettable bear/wolf shifter romance! Are you ready? Take a deep breath, step through the swinging saloon doors, and immerse yourself in the mesmerizing shifter world of the Blue Moon Saloon! *Each story is a stand-alone happily-ever-after romance, but following the series in order will allow you to pick up nuances you might have otherwise missed. NOTE: this is Volume 2. The first three books in this series are available in Blue Moon Saloon, Volume 1 or as individual titles starting with Damnation, Book 1 in the series (ASIN B01C65N3HS). Every story is also available as an individual title.

    The laughter continues to flow in Gina Kirkham's brilliant sequel to the hilarious Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong.Our hapless heroine, Constable Mavis Upton, is preparing to walk down the aisle with her fianc� Joe, but has to deal with her temperamental teen daughter, as well as investigate a serial flasher on a push bike.Throw a diva drag queen into the mix and you can expect more marvellous Mavis mishaps...Revel in Gina Kirkham's humorous, poignant, and moving stories of an everyday girl who one day followed a dream.

    

     With hydraulics, armor and advanced vision, Navigators are soldiers of the future, and in the game of survival of the fittest, they become the only hope man has to fight for their right to dominate. Enemy Lines After nearly being executed in a war zone, Staff Sergeant Leon Shield finds himself urgently recalled from deployment, and lands back home to a defeated country. In a matter of days, and without a single shot being fired, a new species has taken over the world. Determined to survive Armageddon, the only chance to fight back is to find a man called Ark, and use an untested technology to become Navigators. Blind Sighted Leon and Ark elect to train their new Navigator squad outside the wire, while Bill works with the weapons engineers to solve the bigger problems. The medical team are taking the critters apart, desperately looking for anything that will give them an edge. Killer Edge Our team match the enemy by creating a little critter magic of their own. New forces join them, and survivors add their weight to the fight, further changing what becomes possible. First contact is made, and believing they are running headlong into failure, Ark learns to take the lesser loss. Broken Arrow The aliens take a step too far and Ark decides it's time to go all in. Sending all of their Navigator battle teams to the nests, they uncover unexpected allies in a final showdown that will determine which side will rule earth.

     Fresh from Duck Soup (1933), Julius, Leonard, Arthur and Herbert Marx - or as the world knows them, Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Zeppo - are transported by a freak electrical storm to Nacogdoches, Texas in the year 1826. Landing in the midst of the Fredonian Rebellion (the first attempt by settlers in Texas to secede from Mexico) and into the company of the only other Jewish person in town, they are in deep dreck. Falling in with Stephen F. Austin and inadvertently filling his head with knowledge of what is to come, our heroes risk tampering with the future of Texas, and perhaps the entire U.S.A., in their quest to return to their own time. Will they find their way back? Or will they be doomed to live out their lives without indoor plumbing?

    Wilder than Dodge City, Abilene, or even Tombstone, Canyon Diablo had no law because it tolerated no law. And to Grant Jerome, a wanted man, this seemed like a good thing. But Jerome soon learned that unless he was quick with his wits and even quicker with his gun, the outlaws who ran the town would never let him leave that hellish place alive.

    He sleeps in a real bed and eats real food and only jumps into Neuroma to work. All he wanted was to log in, work and log out and live in general obscurity. Getting the attention of a CEO, meeting a stranger in real life, and forced to play in a secret game of corporations were not penciled into his calendar. While that was bad, he started to question whether Odditek was still in control, or had their complacency created the noose tightening around their neck. Bran was not yet aware of the choice before him. He could no longer stand back and watch, and he had to pick a side and fight before he lost the ability to choose. Would he recognize the inevitable in time? Was it possible to make a ‘correct’ choice, or had the lines blurred so much that hero and villain were indistinguishable? This novel is part of an Odditek series and is a LitRPG novel. I realize it’s the first Odditek series, but more are coming. This series started as a companion series to a book called Lantern Online. I wanted a way to build up the world as it now exists, and to explain what Odditek is. Neuroma and Nerves are mentioned in Lantern Online, and I felt all that information was taking away from my story and is mostly not relevant, but good to know information. I took a lot of it out and added it to this series. Anyway, out of that came Office Wars. I hope it's different than most LitRPG you will read, and brings another dimension to the genre. Explicit language! I will not lie, there is a satirical nature to this story, and a lot of the language and scenarios are morally questionable on purpose. In this story and I use a lot of curse words and controversial commentary. Just look on Facebook or any half a dozen social media sites, and you will see similar language, conversations, and other nonsense. If we all moved into a digital world, this is how I view that world.

    * New Edition. * Includes a new translation of 'Fotikchand'.

    Toby has been waiting for years to finally get his chance to see the game, but after server problems and issues with the download he only has a few minutes to do so before real life calls. And nothing seems to go right. His first glimpses of the world leave him confused, and it turns out he isn’t alone. Someone has broken into the server and changed things to suit themselves. Everyone has only one character, one life, and an impossible goal: make it to the end in a week. Everyone is mortal, and everyone is a killer. It’s open season on other players. The man who usurped the world chose Toby to be the champion of this cause, despite his lack of knowledge of game… or perhaps because of it. He is given a terrible weapon, the only one capable of setting things right. Yet he is just as mortal as everyone else. Or worse, as his character remains in the world even if he logs out. But with the future of their hard work on the line, the developers are not about to sit out of this fight. Their game, their reputation, and their very company are on the line. With Toby’s help they take up the challenge and fight to reclaim their world.

    He talks to the models, he reads hundreds of filthy readers' letters, he organises the photoshoots and even gets to direct the action. He has, according to his non-porn friends, "the best job in the world". But Godfrey Bishop has a problem. Godfrey Bishop is going through the sex drought to end all sex droughts. He hasn't been with a woman in over a year and this knee-twisting frustration is magnified a hundred times by his daily grind. He feels like Billy Bunter put in charge of the cake shop, only to have the Atkins diet forced upon him at gun point. Chuck into the mix a twelve girl orgy, a stable of alcoholic co-workers, an angry argumentative feminist, a naked run from justice and an obsessive nutty reader who thinks Godfrey is trying to scupper his chances of marrying the magazine's centre-spread girl and you have Danny King's filthiest and funniest novel yet – according to the back of the book. Godfrey Bishop has "the best job in the world" – and it's doing his f*cking head in.

    Reading it is like attending a late night secret banquet where you know each course will serve up something unexpected, forbidden and unforgettably chilling. Take your private seat now for 50 luscious courses of terror, from 50 of the strongest voices in modern horror.