Book picks similar to
Becoming a Vincent by C.M. Owens
romance
favorites
funny
contemporary
The Infamous Ellen James
N.A. Alcorn - 2013
A sarcastic, feisty, foul-mouthed ER Nurse. She is snarky, sassy, and sometimes crudely inappropriate. After a terrible breakup with her fiancé, Ellen has promised herself that she will never make the mistake of falling for another man again… and physicians, well she’s more than written them off.Once she meets sexy Trauma Surgeon, Dr. Trent Hamilton, this promise is unbelievably hard to keep. This too-hot-for-Ellen's-own-good man is undeniably sexy and down-right irresistible. He leaves her breathless, speechless, and irritatingly turned on. He makes her fantasize about him in all kinds of dirty, inappropriate ways.With the help of her obnoxious, and often times hilarious best friend Amy, Ellen will find herself in several crazy, embarrassing situations. This is a story of friendship, love and how one very sarcastic woman can find the strength to pick up the pieces after having her heart broken. In her first novel, N.A. Alcorn provides interesting takes on the word vagina, while giving you a reason to re-think your next visit to the Emergency Room. This book is bound to make you laugh, smile, and provide you with enough sarcasm to choke your grandmother. No, N.A. doesn’t want anything bad to happen to your Grandma Ruth, but she does want you to strongly consider re-naming your vibrator after a guy who’s at the top of your spank bank rotation. Be prepared for dripping juice-boxes, awkward pelvic thrusting, and a little suspense to keep your snatch on edge. Warning: This novel contains explicit sex, profanity and far too much vaginal humor. This novel is not meant for anti-fornicators, up-tight prudes, or virgins who refuse to go to Pound Town.
Text 2 Lovers
K. Webster - 2017
I fired off a storm of raunchy text messages…to the wrong number. And he replied. Him: Show me a picture. Him: Tell me your name. Why does the lure of anonymity have me craving to indulge a stranger? It’s the start of everything right. I received a slew of text messages…when everything in my life was wrong. And she made me laugh again. Her: You’re probably a creeper. Her: Possibly a stalker. Why do I have the overwhelming need to find this stranger who saved me and make her mine? Him: Take a chance with me. Her: This is crazy. Him: I need to see you. Her: What are we doing? Him: We’re about to find out. Her: PHOTO ATTACHED Him: PHOTO ATTACHED
The Studying Hours
Sara Ney - 2016
ARROGANT. A**HOLE. No doubt about it, Sebastian ‘Oz’ Osborne is the university’s most celebrated student athlete—and possibly the biggest douchebag. A walking, talking cliché, he has a filthy mouth, a fantastic body, and doesn’t give a sh*t about what you or anyone else thinks. SMART. CLASSY. CONSERVATIVE. Make no mistake, Jameson Clarke may be the university’s most diligent student—but she is no prude. Spending most of her time in the hallowed halls of the library, James is wary of pervs, jocks, and douchebags—and Oz Osborne is all three. She’s smart, sarcastic—and not what he expected. …EVERY DOUCHBAG HAS HIS WEAKNESS. He wants to be friends. He wants to spend time with her. He wants to drive her crazy. He wants… Her.
Rules of Engagement
J.T. Geissinger - 2020
And one thing the sweet Southern belle knows for sure is that the foundation of wedded bliss is built on similarities: opposites might attract, but they don’t stay together. Enter Mason Spark.Rude, arrogant, and notoriously allergic to monogamy, the hottest quarterback in the NFL is Maddie’s polar opposite. He’s also her new client. Her gorgeous, infuriating new client who’s paying her an outrageous sum of money to find him a wife. With his multi-million dollar contract on the line due to his behavior on and off the field, bad boy Mason is willing to pretend to settle down. But when he starts to fall for the adorkable matchmaker who can’t stand him, the playboy finds himself in the game of his life to keep something he never thought he’d lose—his heart.
The Consequence of Loving Colton
Rachel Van Dyken - 2015
He should have known that sharing a cookie with a sugar obsessed little monster would do the trick–it sealed his fate. So really, the fact that he’s sporting a black eye, a limp, almost got ran over by a car, and was nearly responsible for another person’s death? Right. HIs fault. Not mine. I made a pact with myself–this weekend would be different. I’d come home for my brothers wedding, smile, and Colton would naturally melt into my arms, we’d get married have five kids, live in a house by the river, and get a dog named scratch (clearly I’ve thought this through).What really happened? I punched my brother in the face, Colton kissed me and apologized, I lied about having a boyfriend, oh and everyone wants to meet the mystery man. They say laughter always comes before insanity–ha, ha. All I wanted was my brother’s best friend…instead I’m sitting in prison. Let this be a lesson to you all…life rarely happens the way you want it to. Damn cookie.
Darker Water
Lauren Stewart - 2014
Her lips? Hell yeah. A few other parts of her body? You better f*cking believe it. But her heart? Nope. Not even a little. Until it does…a lot.Forget I said that. I don’t have feelings for anyone. They were all ripped out of me when I was a kid.This thing between Laney and me could be great. But we have to follow certain rules. We have a good time—no dates, no sleepovers, no expectations. When one of us is ready for something new or if she starts getting too attached, we move on with no hard feelings. Win-win, and everybody’s happy.I came into this thinking it would be the same thing as it had always been and that she was like any other woman. It isn’t. She isn’t. But how do I tell her she deserves someone better - someone who can love her, someone who’s not broken - if I can’t seem to let her go?
Laney
I finally get it. And to think, it only took my heart being pried out of my chest and stomped on five separate times by men who claimed they loved me. That’s got to be a record, right?Let me put it as simply as I can.Fairy tales aren’t real. Love is a lie. And, at least in my experience, sex never comes with a happy ending. Fortunately, I still have a battery-operated boyfriend who’ll never fall out of love with me. I won’t walk in on him in bed with another woman either. Nope. As long as I keep supplying him with fresh batteries, BOB’s only purpose in life is to make me happy. And, damn it, I deserve to be happy. I’m a nice person. I work hard. And, most importantly, I've learned an important lesson: To never, ever let a man near my heart again. Unfortunately, some people never learn.***Be ready for a lot of laughs, a bunch of swoons, and a few tears from this standalone romantic comedy.******DARKER WATER is a standalone contemporary fairytale retelling inspired by The Frog Prince***
Here Be Sexist Vampires
Suzanne Wright - 2012
She finds that not only has the army never included a woman, but it has never included a Sventé vampire; a breed that is regarded by the super strong Pagori breed and the hypnotically beautiful Keja breed to be too tame and human-like. Most refuse to take her seriously, especially a Pagori commander named Jared who she craves in spite of herself.The Grand High Master, however, sees her potential and offers her the position of Jared’s co-commander to help train the newest squad in time for the impending attack on his home. Sam has to demonstrate to Jared and the squad of chauvinists why it is incredibly foolish to underestimate a wilful, temperamental, borderline-homicidal Sventé female. Warning: This novel contains an iron-willed female vampire with an energy whip, a sexist male vampire who is determined to have her, explicit vampy sex, and a romance story with real bite.
Four Day Fling
Emma Hart - 2018
You’re ready to leave after a one-night stand, and you’re figuring out how to—shock horror—leave your number and ask him to be your fake boyfriend for your sister’s wedding this weekend. When he wakes up. Well, that happened to me. And over coffee and omelets, I found myself a date. Which was how I ended up arriving at the wedding with a guy I knew nothing about. I didn’t know his last name, or how we met, or how long we’d been dating. I didn’t know where he grew up, what he’d majored in in college, or how many siblings he had. I sure as hell didn’t know he was Adam Winters, hotshot hockey player—and not only my father’s favorite player, but my little nephew’s freakin’ idol. Which means I’m in trouble. Big, big trouble. My mother is suspicious, my sister is bridezilla on crack, and my grandpa will tell anyone who’ll listen about his time in Amsterdam’s Red Light District. Four days. I have to keep this up for four days, and then Adam and I can return to our regular lives, where we don’t have sex whenever we’re alone and my family aren’t interrogating him over his intentions with me. At least, that’s the plan. And we all know what happens to those.
Rules of Protection
Alison Bliss - 2014
Unfortunately, she stumbles on the wrong kind, witnessing a mob hit. To protect her, she's entered into the Witness Protection Program with by-the-book Special Agent Jake Ward as her chaperone.When the location of their safe house is compromised, Jake stashes Emily deep in the Texas backwoods. The city-girl might be safe from the Mafia, but she has to contend with a psychotic rooster, a narcoleptic dog, crazy cowboys, and the danger of losing her heart to the one man she can't have.Jake's as hot as he is infuriating, and she can't help but push all his buttons to loosen him up. Their mutual, sizzling sexual attraction poses a dilemma: Jake's determined to keep her safe and out of the wrong hands; she's determined to get into the right ones—his.Each book in the Tangled in Texas series is a standalone, full-length story that can be enjoyed out of order. Series Order:Book #1 Rules of ProtectionBook #2 Playing With Fire
That Thing Between Eli & Gwen
J.J. McAvoy - 2016
McAvoy**Eli Davenport thinks he’s found the perfect woman to be his wife. She’s a doctor, like he is. She’s brilliant, like he is. And she’s wealthy, like he is. Guinevere 'Gwen' Poe thinks her fiancé is the perfect man. He’s handsome, successful and he was her first… But when Eli’s bride runs off with Gwen’s fiancée on his wedding day, they are left to pick up the broken pieces of each other...
The Hook Up
Kristen Callihan - 2014
Falling for star quarterback Drew Baylor is certainly not on her to do list. Confident and charming, he lives in the limelight and is way too gorgeous for his own good. If only she could ignore his heated stares and stop thinking about doing hot and dirty things with him. Easy, right?Too bad he’s committed to making her break every rule…Football has been good to Drew. It’s given him recognition, two National Championships, and the Heisman. But what he really craves is sexy yet prickly Anna Jones. Her cutting humor and blatant disregard for his fame turns him on like nothing else. But there’s one problem: she's shut him down. Completely.That is until a chance encounter leads to the hottest sex of their lives, along with the possibility of something great. Unfortunately, Anna wants it to remain a hook up. Now it’s up to Drew to tempt her with more: more sex, more satisfaction, more time with him. Until she’s truly hooked. It's a good thing Drew knows all about winning.All’s fair in love and football…Game on
Decker's Wood
Kirsty Dallas - 2014
I was if anything tenacious when confronted with a mystery.~ AndiShe was forbidden fruit, my friend without benefits. Is that why my malfunctioning member wanted her so bad? Is that why I wanted her so bad?I'd figure out the enigma that was Andi Jennings, and I'd have a damn good time while doing it.~ DeckerBook 2 - Bradley's Whistle (Kink Harder Presents #2) - OUT NOW
Heart-Shaped Hack
Tracey Garvis Graves - 2015
Facing the heartbreaking prospect of turning hungry people away, she is grateful for the anonymous donations that begin appearing at the end of each month. Determined to identify and thank her secret benefactor, she launches a plan and catches Ian —a charismatic hacker with a Robin Hood complex—in the act.Ian intrigues Kate in a way no man ever has. But after learning he’s snooped around on her personal computer, she demands retribution. Impressed with her tolerance and captivated by her spirit, he complies and begins to slowly charm his way past her defenses. Time spent with Ian is never boring, and Kate soon finds herself falling for the mysterious hacker.But Ian has enemies and they’re growing restless. In the hacking world, exploiting a target’s weakness is paramount, and no price is too high to stop an attack. And when Kate learns exactly how much Ian has paid, she’ll discover just how strong her love is for the man who has hacked his way into her heart.
Hail Mary
Nicola Rendell - 2016
After she wakes him up with a few slaps and some smelling salts, the very first thing he does is ask her out for ribs and beer. His name is Jimmy. He looks like a Gillette model. And he’s just too hunky to resist.Jimmy “The Falcon” Falconi is mystified that Mary has absolutely no idea who he is. Mystified and refreshed. He is, after all, not your everyday NFL quarterback. He shops at Costco, has a soft spot for Pinterest, and is in the midst of an epic losing streak.Jimmy falls for Mary fast and hard, the way he does everything—balls out and like it’s fourth and long. And he realizes he’s finally met his match. That stamina he’s so proud of? Doesn’t stand a chance against her Kegels.But what they don’t know is she’s also his new physical therapist, recently hired by the Bears to work on his rotator cuff…and groin injury. If she can’t help him, he’ll be traded faster than they can say “offensive penetration.”In spite of the thousands of internet memes featuring Jimmy’s face with captions like: “HEY GIRL, WANT TO TOUCH MY BALLS?” Mary finds herself falling for him and his unrelenting desire to make her his.Until a toddler shows up at Jimmy’s door.And throws their lives into total chaos.***To the reader: Sweet. Safe. HEA. This is a comedy that gets very dirty, so be advised. Other tasters' notes: Hints of honey and champagne. And a feisty little dog named Frankie Knuckles.
Accidental Tryst
Natasha Boyd - 2018
Suit monkey, commitment-phobic serial dater. No more than three dates, unless he hasn't ... you know. Emmy:What a disaster! I only just made my flight to New York to help my uncle, and the phone I’m holding is not mine! It seems to belong to some commitment-phobic serial dater who’s never made it past four dates (according to the constant notifications he's getting from his fake dating profile...) And worse? I have a sinking feeling it’s that hot suit-monkey with the arctic grey eyes I just had a run-in with at the airport. Somehow I have to persuade him not to get a new phone until I get back. My whole life is on that phone. It’s only a few days. Surely we can handle it. Trystan :This is a joke, right? My life could not get more f*cked up. I’m in the middle of selling my company and on my way to a funeral and that hot mess hippie-chick stole my freaking phone. I’m not sure how she convinced me not to immediately walk into a smart phone store and get a new one, but now she’s going to have to play stand in and distract me while I deal with my long-avoided and estranged family. I don’t have my dating apps after all, and frankly she’s pretty funny. And sexy. And why can’t I stop texting her? And now we’re talking. And … look, I’ll admit that I usually run for the hills the morning after, but the morning after phone sex? That’s not really real, right?