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Bang Up: A Filthy Comedic Thriller by Jeff Strand
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Fire Down Below
Debra Anastasia - 2015
When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter. Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream. How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start. Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
Divorced, Desperate and Delicious
Christie Craig - 2007
But all that changes when the reindeer-antlered Fabio drags in a very desperate, on-the-run detective who decides to take refuge in her house.
Wallbanger
Alice Clayton - 2012
Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly...In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight...
Flirting with the Frenemy
Pippa Grant - 2019
Master Baker. Dimples. Muscles. The unicorn of fake boyfriends.Complication: Wyatt Morgan. My brother's best friend. My sworn enemy. Military man. Sexy as hell single dad. The man I let into my panties for one night of hot hate sex after my ex dumped me. And the man who just scared off that perfect fake boyfriend. By pretending to be my real boyfriend.I can roll with this though. What’s the harm in Flirting with the Frenemy if it helps me get the job done?Complete my mission and move on.Or so I thought.Until Wyatt kisses me again and I start feeling things I shouldn't.The thing about weddings...nothing ever goes as planned.
Flirting with the Frenemy is a rollicking fun romantic comedy featuring a single dad military man, an irritatingly attractive blast from his past, pirates, cursing parrots, and a wedding gone wild. It stands alone with no cheating or cliffhangers.
Until We Collide
Charlotte Fallowfield - 2016
Fans of Bridget Jones will love this!" TotallyBooked BlogWhat do you get when you cross a neck brace, a jellyfish, and an encounter with a gorilla? Dating disasters only a quirky and fun woman could endure. With her thirtieth birthday fast-approaching, Paige Taylor knows she must get more than her toes wet in the dating pool. After all, she's spent way too long pining over Alec Wright, who's perpetually unavailable. Now, with some encouragement from her best friend, Paige is ready to take the plunge and find Mr. Right. But when a catalogue of catastrophic dates ensue, Paige questions what she's always wondered. Is Alec Wright her Mr. Right? An Amazon UK, and international, #1 bestselling contemporary romance, humour, and romantic comedy novel.
Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village
Maureen Johnson - 2021
How charming. That is, unless you have the misfortune of finding yourself in an English Murder Village, where danger lurks around each picturesque cobblestone corner and every sip of tea may be your last. If you insist on your travels, do yourself a favor and bring a copy of this little book. It may just keep you alive. Brought to life with dozens of Gorey-esque drawings by illustrator Jay Cooper and peppered with allusions to classic crime series and unmistakably British murder lore, Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village gives you the tools you need to avoid the same fate, should you find yourself in a suspiciously cozy English village (or simply dream of going). Good luck, and whatever you do, avoid the vicar.
The Girl in 6E
A.R. Torre - 2013
That seems like it would be a difficult task, but it's not. Not anymore, thanks to the internet.I am, quite possibly, the most popular recluse ever. Not many shut-ins have a 200-member fan club, a bank account in the seven-figure range, and hundreds of men lining up to pay for undivided attention.They get satisfaction, I get a distraction. Their secret desires are nothing compared to why I hide... my lust for blood, my love of death.Taking their money is easy. Keeping all these secrets... one is bound to escape.What if you hid yourself away because all you could think of was killing? And what if one girl's life was depending on you venturing into society?Enter a world of lies, thrills, fears, and all desires, in this original thriller from A. R. Torre.
Miranda's Big Mistake
Jill Mansell - 1999
He's gorgeous, he's funny - and he's very keen. Just what a girl needs to put some sparkle in her life. Heavens, he's practically perfect! Greg likes Miranda a lot. She's young, she's pretty, and she never talks about babies. Of course he hasn't told her everything about himself - even the sweetest girls can be a bit funny about a man who's just left his newly pregnant wife. But there's no way she's going to find out - or is there?Luckily for Miranda men are like buses - you don't see any for ages then three come along at once. She just needs to catch the right one...
First You Fall
Scott Sherman - 2008
When his friend's death is ruled a suicide, Kevin Connor--a hustler by trade, sleuth by default--sets out to prove a case of murder. It doesn't help matters that the victim's grown children, who disapproved of their father's sexual orientation, are only concerned about their inheritance. But they are not Kevin's only problem. His high-strung mother has moved in with him--and she knows nothing about his questionable . . . job. Throw in his super-hot ex - now a New York City detective - and Kevin has more than his hands full. JA Konrath calls Sherman "the gay Janet Evanovich." You'll fall for this sexy, funny first mystery in the Kevin Connor series. Scott Sherman has written for Newsweek, Genre, Instinct, and The Washington Blade. The follow-up to First You Fall, Second You Sin was released by Kensington in October, 2011 in trade paperback and for the Kindle. The third book in the series will be coming out in 2012.
The Restraint of Beasts
Magnus Mills - 1998
Magnus Mills gives us a wiry novel of tensile strength that proves him a writer of ferocious talent. Eerie, resonant, spare yet rich in tones both hilarious and ominous—as if a work by Irvine Welsh, or perhaps Macbeth, had been adapted by the Coen brothers—his story has a finale so ingenious, insidious, and satisfying, it remains locked in the mind long after the last wire has been strung into place.
If You Were Here
Jen Lancaster - 2011
Along their harrowing renovation journey, Mia and Mac get caught up in various wars with the homeowners' association, meet some less-than-friendly neighbors, and are joined by a hilarious cast of supporting characters, including a celebutard ex- landlady. As they struggle to adapt to their new surroundings- with Mac taking on the renovations himself- Mia and Mac will discover if their marriage is strong enough to survive months of DIY renovations.
Blood Stain, Volume 1
Linda Šejić - 2016
Chemistry major, Elliot Torres has been unable to keep a steady job and eventually accepts a job by a rumored mad scientist Dr. Vlad Stein. Humorous hijinks ensue as their collaboration becomes epic.
Big Trouble
Dave Barry - 1999
His teenage son, Matt, fills a Squirtmaster 9000 for his turn at a high school game called Killer. Matt's intended victim, Jenny Herk, sits down in front of the TV with her mom for what she hopes will be a peaceful evening for once. Jenny's alcoholic and secretly embezzling stepfather, Arthur, emerges from the maid's room, angry at being rebuffed. Henry and Leonard, two hit men from New Jersey, pull up to the Herks' house for a real game of Killer, Arthur's embezzlement apparently not having been quite so secret to his employers after all. And a homeless man named Puggy settles down for the night in a treehouse just inside the Herks' yard.In a few minutes, a chain of events that will change the lives of each and every one of them will begin, and will leave some of them wiser, some of them deader, and some of them definitely looking for a new line of work. With a wicked wit, razor-sharp observations, rich characters, and a plot with more twists than the Inland Waterway, Dave Barry makes his debut a complete and utter triumph.
Tangled
Emma Chase - 2013
Handsome and arrogant, he makes multimillion dollar business deals and seduces New York’s most beautiful women with just a smile. He has loyal friends and an indulgent family. So why has he been shuttered in his apartment for seven days, miserable and depressed? He’ll tell you he has the flu.But we all know that’s not really true.Katherine Brooks is brilliant, beautiful and ambitious. She refuses to let anything - or anyone - derail her path to success. When Kate is hired as the new associate at Drew’s father’s investment banking firm, every aspect of the dashing playboy’s life is thrown into a tailspin. The professional competition she brings is unnerving, his attraction to her is distracting, his failure to entice her into his bed is exasperating. Then, just when Drew is on the cusp of having everything he wants, his overblown confidence threatens to ruin it all. Will he be able untangle his feelings of lust and tenderness, frustration and fulfillment? Will he rise to the most important challenge of his life? Can Drew Evans win at love? Tangled is not your mother’s romance novel. It is an outrageous, passionate, witty narrative about a man who knows a lot about women…just not as much as he thinks he knows. As he tells his story, Drew learns the one thing he never wanted in life, is the only thing he can’t live without.
Inspector Hobbes and the Blood
Wilkie Martin - 2013
Allergic to danger and exercise, Andy is thrown into grave confusion as he discovers not everyone is human. Not only must he come to terms with Hobbes's extreme oddness, and the tooth-collection of Hobbes's housekeeper, the indomitable Mrs Goodfellow, but he must work out if a suicide, a murder, and several robberies are connected? And what is the connection? Hobbes goes missing. The cops decide he's big and bad enough to look after himself, but Andy, striving against deep-rooted incompetence and clumsiness, sets out to find him. With a big bad dog to assist, armed only with a leg of lamb, and despite losing his trousers, he discovers the key to the mystery is in the blood. But whose blood? Where is Hobbes? And can he catch vampirism off false teeth? This is the first in Wilkie Martin's unhuman series of fast-paced, comic fantasy crime adventures, with lashings of great food.'I ought to tell you, dear, he can get rather wild when he's hungry'Shortlisted for the Impress Prize for New Writers 2012