In other words, perfect." - The Huffington PostAn amusing and captivating tale that's a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable: If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud, illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life.From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents hilariously entertaining stories about life and existential predicaments.The simple yet effective imagery, the personification of inanimate objects, and short, hilarious quips come together to create an amusing adventure through each character's unique grievance and wide-eyed dilemmas.Written by Avery Monsen, an actor, artist, and writer and Jory John, a writer, editor, and journalist. They are friends, and neither is dead. Yet.All My Friends Are Dead is both the saddest funny book and the funniest sad book you'll ever read.Children's book written for adults Displayed in an accessible cartoon form

    And how can that get any worse for this Wimpy Kid? By finding out that you’re getting the meanest teacher in the school this year AND she just moved down the street.Leave it up to Connor, Max and Milo to turn the miserable first week of school into the biggest and most exciting party ever. All while avoiding the bully squad, outsmarting Molly, the teacher’s pet and staying one step ahead of Mr. Mooger, the principal.But everything is not as it seems and the three soon find out that they haven’t been the only one’s pulling pranks.Join Connor, Max and Milo on their new adventures in middle school, watch them out smart the bullies and stay one step ahead of the teachers. This illustrated book is a humorous and fun ride through middle school, never knowing what's just around the corner or under your seat. Connor's Diary of the Wimpy Kids in his prankster's club will keep you guessing and laughing out loud.Also Available: The Pranksters' Club: Ripped - Book 2 of the Series

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    Following an undeniable call to pursue the one who abandoned it and seek revenge the quest for retribution had begun, and nothing or no one would stand in the way.

    But what really terrified those bad men was that peculiar gun of his. It didn't shoot bullets. It shot light. And Larry always aimed for the heart. Can Larry save the town of Brimstone from Evil-Eye McNeevil's outlaw gang? Find out in this rip-roaring original tale of a gunfighter with a huge smile and a hankering for lemonade. TEACHERS AND LIBRARIANS -- A READER'S THEATER SCRIPT OF THIS BOOK IS AVAILABLE IN AARON'S BOOK -STORIES ON STAGE, - OR FREE ON AARON'S WEB SITE. ///////////////////////////////////////////////// Aaron Shepard is the award-winning author of -The Baker's Dozen, - -The Sea King's Daughter, - -The Monkey King, - and many more children's books. His stories have appeared often in Cricket magazine, while his Web site is known internationally as a prime resource for folktales, storytelling, and reader's theater. Once a professional storyteller, Aaron specializes in lively retellings of folktales and other traditional literature, which have won him honors from the American Library Association, the New York Public Library, the Bank Street College of Education, the National Council for the Social Studies, and the American Folklore Society. Toni Goffe is the British illustrator of numerous well-loved children's books and is a winner of the 1993 Gold Medallion Book Award. He is also illustrator of Aaron's -The Legend of Slappy Hooper.- ///////////////////////////////////////////////// -One of the books every boy should have on his bookshelf; girls will probably like the story too . . . The language is perfect, [with] the right dose of silliness to make both parents and children chuckle . . . The illustrations are ideal.- -- Cindi Rose, San Francisco Examiner, Aug. 20, 2012 -A tall-tale superhero for our time. . . . A readaloud that could lighten up classes well up in the elementary grades.- -- Kirkus Reviews, Mar. 1, 1993 -Pass out the bandanas and dig out the spittoon. Read this story in an old-timer's voice, and everyone will have a good time.- -- Chris Sherman, American Library Association Booklist, Mar. 1, 1993 -Move over Wyatt Earp. Make room for a cowboy of a different caliber. A wide age range of listeners will request this one again and again.- -- School Library Journal, Nov. 1993 -A rib-tickler. . . . Kids will enjoy acting this out as readers theatre.- -- Jan Lieberman, TNT, Spring 1993 -Lovely. . . . Should reach the tickly bone of youngsters.- -- Storyline, June 1993 -Perfect for telling or reading out loud.- -- Katy Rydell, Stories, Spring 1993 -My class loved this story. Great to use when introducing tall tales.- -- D. Peccianti, Reviews of All Resources (Monterey Peninsula United School District) -Introduces one amazing cowpoke. . . . Will have young listeners laughing out loud and asking you to 'read it again.'- -- Smithsonian, Nov. 1993 -Told in the spirited language of a true yarn-spinner, this is a rollicking picture book to warm the heart of just about everyone.- -- Kids' Line, Summer 1993

    Dive inside Riley's mind and get to know the Emotions that know her best! With five fun stories, each devoted to a different Emotion, fans of Pixar's upcoming film, Inside Out, will treasure this special collection of Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger, and Disgust.

    . .5,4,3,2,1 . . . KAPOW!"New York Times-"bestselling author Andy Griffiths, follows up his slimy, rhymey, easy-to-read hit, "The Cat on the Mat is Flat," with ten more hilarious short, rhyming stories guaranteed to make kids laugh.* "Kirkus Reviews"

    Alex is excited to be playing on a netball tean with her friends. But she's no sports star. Would the team be better off without her?

    "Now, a rule is not much good without a punishment attached," said the teacher. "What should we do if someone breaks the rules?" The class's idea of justice, and what happens when they face it in all its fury, will become a meaningful type and shadow of the Savior's sacrifice for all of us.

    But then she loses her tinker’s hammer and her world is turned upside down. The good news is that Tink has a spare hammer. The bad news is that she left it at Peter Pan’s hideout and they’re no longer speaking! Will Tink be able to make up with her old friend–or will she have to give up her talent forever?Beck and the Great Berry Battle by Laura Driscoll, read by Alison LarkinThere’s nothing Beck likes more than speaking Bird or Chipmunk or Fox or Mole with the animals. Then one day her funny little hummingbird friend, Twitter, tells her that war has broken out between the hummingbirds and the chipmunks. Soon the blackberries start flying and fairies are getting caught in the crossfire. It’s up to Beck to get to the bottom of things. Only she can bring peace back to Pixie Hollow!

     This time out the two lovable characters embark on a visit to the carpet shop as Monsters old carpet has a hole in it, unbeknown to them the new carpet that Monster has purchased is no ordinary rug. With the help of Magic Fairy to their delight they find out about it's magical capabilities and have great fun putting their amazing find through its paces.

    Title: Ladybird Tales: The Princess and the Pea <>Binding: Hardcover <>Author: Vera Southgate <>Publisher: LADYBIRD BOOKS

    Wild animals burst from every page with a chance to learn something new about each one!

    Josie's brothers and sisters are terrified of their violent alcoholic father, but Josie is not like the rest, for she has something that will enable her to rise out of the slums: a beautiful singing voice, with which even as a child she earns enough pennies to keep her father happy. When she discovers that her father is trying to put her younger sister, Gertie, on the game, Josie and Gertie flee the family home, taking refuge with a friend. By educating herself and taking singing lessons, Josie starts on the journey to success and security - but can she also find love?

    How will Frog and Pickles find their way out of this mess and still manage to keep their new friend? Both young and older readers alike will enjoy this humorous tale about the summer the foxes moved to town.