Darkside Zodiac in Love
Stella Hyde - 2007
No one is actually compatible with anyone else/ we just all get swept away by lust or, deafened by the thrashmetal tick of the biological clock, shut down all critical facilities. Part 1 of Darkside Zodiac in Love is "I'm Your Venus," which is all about the planet of L.O.V.E. and Libra and Taurusthe signs it rules directlyand the havoc they can play in our lives. Part 2 shows how love hurts all the way around the zodiac. It identifies the cheaters, describes how members of each sign conduct themselves on dates and perform in bed, and provides compatibility charts and blinddate guides. Darkside Zodiac in Love will help readers take a cold, hard look at all the shabby tricks, manipulations, lies, and cruel intentions each sun sign tries to hide. It won't mend a broken heart, but it will tell readers who they are compatible with and who is likely to murder them in their sleep! It also tells readers what conniving, twotiming, icyhearted little love rats they really are, but then nothing comes for free, does it?! * Snarky, snarkywe all take love too seriously and astrology not seriously enough.
Days from the Heart of the Home
Susan Branch - 1996
Now, for fall 1997, she's created a new hand-painted book that no fan will want to miss -- the Heart of the Home Address Book. For everyone who loves Susan Branch, it's the ideal gift for holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions -- now and for years to come.Filled with Branch's homespun wit and wisdom and decorated with her signature watercolors, this lovely address book features a ring binding that allows for paper refills as well as special pages for recording birthdays, anniversaries, and other special dates.
Turn Left at Istanbul: ESCAPING SHIRLEY - The ultimate, mad, sixties road trip
Richard Savin - 2019
In the London office my new boss Victor tells me I shall be working in a regional office - and he wants me to drive there. I am to deliver Victor's shiny Jaguar: his pride and joy. The office is in Calcutta. This all sounds like fun to me. A month long holiday. How bad can that be I think and decide to invite my friend Douglas to come along for the ride. This will be a road trip to die for I tell him. Victor's P.A. Shirley is the all seeing eye. Nothing gets past here. I have to report in on my progress at key points on the route. Shirley is going to be watching me. 'If you so much as scratch it you're dead.' I laugh, what could possibly go wrong....? well just about everything. We were OK up till Trieste; then a goat got in the car - after that it was downhill all the way to Calcutta.
Dirty Italian: Everyday Slang from "What's Up?" to "F*%# Off!"
Gabrielle Ann Euvino - 2006
GET D!RTYNext time you’re traveling or just chattin’ in Italian with your friends, drop the textbook formality and bust out with expressions they never teach you in school, including:
Cool slang Funny insults Explicit sex terms Raw swear words
Dirty Italian teaches the casual expressions heard every day on the streets of Italy:What's up?Come va?He's a real hottie.Lui è proprio un figo.This pizza's awesome!Questa pizza è buonissima!I'm totally wasted.Soo sbronzo.I gotta piss.Devo pisciare.Hey ref, you're an asshole!Arbitro cornuto!Wanna do it doggy-style?Lo facciamo alla pecorina?
How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet
Michael Cunningham - 2020
And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.
Today I Am a Ma'am: and Other Musings On Life, Beauty, and Growing Older
Valerie Harper - 2001
Rhoda Morgenstern) takes on those phony "fabulous at 50" books written by women whose skin is free of laugh lines and who wouldn't know a cellulite pocket if it bit them on the backside. With her trademark shoot-from-the-hip, call-'em-like-she-sees-'em style, she helps women celebrate, with humor and grace, what it means to be middle aged.Harper's essays explore the treacherous terrain women must travel -- from the tyrannies of fashion to the unmentionables of menopause. She tackles the most perplexing questions of the day: If you wear a size zero, do you exist? Would menopause be revered if it happened to men? Do calories count if you eat standing up? Are dressing rooms fitted with fun house mirrors? Today I Am a Ma'am is the perfect antidote to the youth obsession of our culture, offered by America's most reliable girlfriend. It is Humor Replacement Therapy for midlife women, a book you can pick up when ever you need a laugh or a reminder that midriff drift is not the end of the world.
The Book of Ratings: Opinions, Grades, and Assessments of Everything Worth Thinking about
Lore Fitzgerald Sjoberg - 2002
Koalas look cuddly, but they're actually irritable, solitary beasts who do not want belly rubs. What kind of mocking god created creatures with poofy ears and big black noses that don't want belly rubs? BOpossums: North America gets one lousy marsupial, and let's just say it's not going to win any beauty contests. Or even not-ugly contests. C−Wombats: "Wombat" is a great name. It's got a "wom" and a "bat," and an "omba." They're kind of nondescript animals, cute in a generic pudgy mammal way, but their name spelled backward is "tabmow," and that makes all the difference. AThe Book of Ratings is hysterically arbitrary and undeniably infectious.
You've Done What, My Lord?: Hilarious tales from a country estate
Rory Clark - 2000
However, when James Aden takes up the position of Deputy Agent he does not realise the full extent of what the job entails.He finds himself spending his days negotiating with royalty, farmers, and even wildlife, as well as the imperious Lady Leghorn. In order to survive, James must come to terms with his role quickly, and not let himself get too distracted by Sophie, the pre-college assistant.
Erma Bombeck: A Life in Humor
Susan Edwards - 1997
Here is Erma Bombeck, laughing her way through childhood, marriage, motherhood, and celebrity status, even keeping her sense of humor as she battled terminal illness.
The New Uxbridge English Dictionary
Jon Naismith - 2005
This crafty revision of English vocabulary posits that Platypus should signify “to give your cat pigtails;” that Flemish should mean “rather like snot;” and that Celtic is in fact a prison for fleas. With nearly 600 new definitions, this side-splitting resource pushes the boundaries of the English language to riotous new limits.
Outbreak In The Woods: Thru-Hiking During a Worldwide Pandemic
Ryan Michael Beck - 2021
Should they follow cautionary guidelines to return to a major city or take a chance by continuing north through the back country?Thru-hiking from Georgia to Maine on any given year has its own enormous obstacles. What do you eat? Where do you sleep and can you reach your family? In 2020, during a worldwide shutdown these challenges became nearly impossible to overcome. See how rural trail town communities were affected by the pandemic and understand an untold perspective of pursuing your dreams at all costs.Avoiding law enforcement, entering into "closed" federal land and even overcoming death - all while attempting the impossible. With a wife and two daughters at home, the outside world against him and seemingly unreliable information, this epic tale follows Ryan Michael Beck's journey 2,193 miles in pursuit of a dream to thru-hike the entire Appalachian Trail against all odds.
Infreakinfertility: How to Survive When Getting Pregnant Gets Hard
Melanie Dale - 2018
This is a book about surviving it." I felt like a babyless freak. No matter what we tried, I couldn’t get pregnant, even after standing on my head after sex. I was pretty sure I was the only woman on the planet going through infertility, certainly the only one jamming needles into my butt on commercial breaks during my favorite TV shows. Everyone was getting pregnant around me and no one was talking about what happened if you couldn’t. After my experience, I wanted to write a book for other infertile women and couples who feel alone, the book I wish I’d had when I was going through it, filled with dark humor and illustrations of quirky ovaries and whimsical sperm. If you’re like me, you want blunt, honest conversations about all the crazy stuff you’re going through with someone who’s been there and understands at least some of what you’re dealing with and how you’re feeling. And if it can somehow give you permission to laugh without diminishing the pain you’re feeling? Even better. This is the funnest book you’ll ever read about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Each chapter covers a different challenge with infertility and is broken into sections, a little of my story and concerns, a blurb from my husband, Alex, kind of a window into his dudely brain, and practical tips on how to cope. Read it yourself, read it as a couple, and if you’re struggling to explain your feelings to friends and family, hurl a copy at them and run away. I really wish you didn’t need this book, but since you do, come on over. You’re not alone.
The Best American Sports Writing 2019 (The Best American Series ®)
Charles P. Pierce - 2019
Each year, the series editor and guest editor curates a truly exceptional collection. The only shared traits among all these diverse styles, voices, and stories are the extraordinarily high caliber of writing, and the pure passion they tap into that can only come from sports.
Epic Text Fails! 2: More Funniest Autocorrects, Wrong Numbers, and Smartphone Mishaps
Marcus Rainey - 2014
Yes, it is really that good." "This is going to be my 'go to book' when I've had a bad day!" Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!
The Junket (Kindle Single)
Mike Albo - 2011
He lands an enviable gig writing about shopping and fashion for the city’s major newspaper, but an ill-fated promotional junket gets Albo into hot water. He becomes a gossip item and finds himself caught in an acrimonious war between Old and New Media. Here's a gimlet-eyed account of the back-biting media scene, a glimpse into the inner workings of the fashion crowd, and a candid portrait of what it takes to survive as a writer in today’s chattering and watchful New York City."I was perilously close to exposing a secret underground economy of promotion: favors and junkets and banquets and gifts that keeps the city in motion, and keeps underpaid writers at work. Basically, I became the Silkwood of Swag."