I sat down one day and said to myself, “Larry, you’ve done it all. You’ve got three gold records, a successful DVD, a hit TV show, a picture of Shania Twain givin’ ya the finger, and most important, the high score on Frogger. What more could you possibly do?” Then I started thinking about writing a book. I wanted mostly to write Git-R-Done for all those good Americans who just wanna laugh like I do. Come on inside and hear me make fun of Janet Reno, Rosie O’Donnell, and my fat sister, who caused a twelve-tray pileup in front of the caramel nut rolls at the country buffet. I’m gonna tell you why Dick Trickle is my hero, why we need to get back to good ol’ common sense, and why I prefer a picture of the Last Supper with NASCAR drivers as the disciples over just about anything.Lord, I apologize!The book will go down in history as one of America’s most important events since the breakup of Aldo Nova. Even my mom liked the book—here’s what she said: “There’s really not much I can say here except for I apologize to everyone ahead of time for the crap you are about to read.” Git-R-Done is just plain funny, I don’t care who ya are!Also available as an eBook.From the Hardcover edition.

    In the meantime, enjoy this freebie from God: OMG: How I Created the Universe, Adam, and Steve, which contains the first five chapters on the Creation of Adam and Steve (you read correctly) excerpted from The Last Testament.

    Fiona has also had successful shows at the Edinburgh and Adelaide fringe festivals, the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal and the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.This book contains her stories - funny and sometimes sad stories about her upbringing as part of a large Irish-Catholic family on a wheat farm in South Australia, her chaotic and disorganised family life ever since, living in Alice Springs and making it as a stand-up comedian. She also talks of a darker side of the life of many performers - alcohol.This book is for anyone who likes to laugh (and cry), who wants to read about a woman living her life on her terms.

    Tinsel Town. La La Land. The City of Dreams; groaning with wannabes and a few dazzling stars. For anyone brave enough to make the pilgrimage to LA in search of stardom; keep in mind the long odds and bring tissues.Eclipsed is a unique story about an ordinary family. Mum, Dad, four boys and a dog, albeit the dad is a somewhat famous UK comedian who dared to dream and chance his arm at becoming a Hollywood screenwriter.By chance and just like in our dreams and the best stories, his eldest son is talent spotted and after a series of serendipitous events, now finds himself as Marvel's new Spider-man. Meanwhile, his dad is doing comedy gigs in village halls...Written with great affection by a day as bemused as he is proud, Eclipsed is a hilarious story and insight into family life.We all want the best for our children and we hope that they might eclipse our own achievements, but in the same business as us and before they hit their teens? Come on, really?

    Are you up to the challenge?

     Eric has been reprogrammed by the Banthar to lead the invasion against Earth. Trapped in his machine body, he has full conscious awareness but no actual control as he is forced to watch humankind enslaved at his own hands. There is a small chance Eric could break free of the alien control, but at a terrible price: because he is so intricately linked with the invading force, his freedom could lead to Earth’s final destruction. What do you do when the only way to escape is to destroy all of your friends, and everything you ever loved? Download the explosive conclusion to the Bolt Eater trilogy and find out.

    It enables us to recognise the ridiculous, and to empathise with life’s disasters. Take the lives of a self-deprecating couple from England, steeped in life’s troubles, and whisk them across the Channel. Laugh with them as they encounter hilarious situations en France – from troublesome workmen, the infamous bureaucracy, and even sex à la française! Take notes on this transition from English doom and gloom to la belle vie française, and follow the exploits of this oh-so-recognisable English couple. What could possibly go wrong?

    A young Hunter. A vow of vengeance. Sah Lee survives the assault that destroys her planet. Can she survive the hostile alien army she joins to get her revenge? Hunter, Warrior, Commander is a military space opera. If you like characters that you can get to know and care about, alien armies, intense upfront and personal action and a story that you won’t want to put down, then you’ll love this. Are you ready for a sleeples night? You won't want to put this down! Hunter, Warrior, Commander is a standalone book set in the People’s universe, introduced in Unwilling From Earth by the same author.

    

    World’s greatest stories are created when people are high – masterpieces are painted, universal truths are realised, models on billboards are befriended, lovers are united, butts are kicked, confessions are made, and relationships are sorted.The book started as a blog with people from across the world sharing their stories, ideas, confessions and beliefs, and the elixir of the 14 best stories is here to reveal what lies beyond a conscious mind.Though the book does not intend to encourage drinking alcohol in any sense, here’s to celebrate every emotion that kicks after a few pegs. Cheers!!

    After all, he has secretly had a vasectomy. This is just the first of a series of blows that start to rain upon him. His chain of dress shops that was intended to lift him to the heights of prosperity that he had always dreamed about is feeling the chill winds of recession, and his teenage son has decided to make a mysterious trip to Spain instead of launching himself on the career that his parents expected. 'Life is a tease, ' Max decides, 'a series of receding targets designed to keep you on the move, like a laboratory experiment with rats.' His two drinking companions, Alec, a headmaster, and Laurie, a swashbuckling businessman, also find that middle age doesn't bring peace. Alec for years has secretly being living in sin; putting the matter right doesn't bring its expected happiness. And Laurie is married to an aggressive lady who thinks nothing of clipping off his moustache while he sleeps, or serving him a dog-food omelette. Worst of all, the three of them discover that the years spent being devoted parents have not produced the fine young offspring that they had set their hearts on. So what can the future hold for Max, with a child of unknown provenance on the way? At least there is always the solace of the Comedy Hotel.

    Witches a wolf shifters should stay as far away from each other as possible; it was practically an unwritten rule. That was fine until your witch mate showed up at your door in a blizzard and needed shelter. Times that by three and Kiel, Drake, and Jeff were in for a whole heap of trouble, zapping, and wooing in their lives. A madcap comedy with adult content.

    this book is a magical journey through life from the beginnings of time to the birth of a child and the adventure that we take on our way to the grave and beyond to the starsit is a celebration of being human and all of the beautiful things that is in between.if you like books that are about:why we are herehow we are madebabies shedding their baby legs and growing their child legsthe innocence of childhoodthe warmth of papas backteen lifebody harethe first kissfalling in lovebeing alonethe gift of a feathertales of witchessaturday nightsmonday morningsthe mystery of old peoples earlobesdeathghostsand the meaning of lifethen this book is for youbecause inside of this book there is all of those things and after reading about 5 pages of it you will be the main expert of human life and there will be nothing in this world that you will not know love from your friend chris (simpsons artist) xox

    Her eccentric, free-spirited Aunt Greta wholeheartedly disagrees and dishes out unsolicited dating advice based on her five marriages. But when a jaw-dropping gorgeous architect waltzes into town to build a resort on Abby’s favorite hiking spot, she will do anything to stop him, including befriending him. Though Abby and James are at odds property-wise, things spice up in this fast-paced romantic comedy over late night Scrabble games and hotter-than-hell Chinese food, leaving Abby to wonder if the property that really needs protecting is the one around her heart.

    Now, by popular demand, here is the best of Betty in a book in what may be the world's first podcast-turned-book, or pook. It's a wonderful way to be entertained in the airport, on a plane, at home, and anywhere you want a good laugh.