No, please, take your time. And definitely spread out, too, so you create a barricade of idiots. I am so thankful that you forced me to walk on the street and risk getting hit by a car in order to pass you so I could resume walking at a normal human pace.Jimmy Fallon has a few people and a few things to thank. In this brand-new book, the very first to come from his show, he addresses some 200 subjects in need of his undying "gratitude." Each page will feature one note and a photograph of its recipient. But why read any more about formatting when you could just read a few more samples;Thank you, guy whose chair made a farting noise, for prompting him to spend the next 20 minutes awkwardly shifting around trying to re-create the noise, so people would know it was just the chair. Thank you, Miley Cyrus, for being 16 and acting like a stripper at the Teen Choice Awards. If you REALLY wanna piss off your dad, why not just cut off his allowance? From Hilary Clinton to a light bulb he is too lazy to replace, these are the moments and memories that make Jimmy's life a little bit fuller.

    But they are much more than entertainers, as The Two Fat Ladies Ride Again reaffirms. Packed with more than 120 recipes, from Light Dishes, Starters, and Savories to Picnics, Ride Again rises to the standard set by the Ladies' best-selling first collection. Breakfast has never been so lavish as with their Aniseed Waffles, Bread and Butter Pudding, and Red Flannel Hash. Feast on Devilled Fish Sandwiches and Scottish Seed Cake, then wash it all down with a Royal Bombay Yacht Club Cocktail ("As drunk by the very drunk at the Royal Bombay Yacht Club"). The Ladies laugh in the face of the fat-fearing fanatic and are proud to share such decadent gems as Spare Ribs and Whisky Chocolate Pie.Sprinkled throughout are whimsical personal anecdotes and snapshots of the Ladies, inviting all to experience their world of devilish fun and feast. Dickson Wright and Paterson eat and live indulgently and encourage others to do the same, giving readers license to partake in their full-flavored food--and enjoy every delicious moment.

    Soon Gen Xers will be the only cohort of Americans who remember life as it was lived before the arrival of the Internet. They are, as Hennessey dubs them, “the last adult generation,” the sole remaining link to a time when childhood was still a bit dangerous but produced adults who were naturally resilient. More than a decade into the social media revolution, the American public is waking up to the idea that the tech sector’s intentions might not be as pure as advertised. The mountains of money being made off our browsing habits and purchase histories are used to fund ever-more extravagant and utopian projects that, by their very natures, will corrode the foundations of free society, leaving us all helpless and digitally enslaved to an elite crew of ultra-sophisticated tech geniuses. But it’s not too late to turn the tide. There’s still time for Gen X to write its own future. A spirited defense of free speech, eye contact, and the virtues of patience, Zero Hour for Gen X is a cultural history of the last 35 years, an analysis of the current social and historical moment, and a generational call to arms.

    Part of the Imponderables® series, Feldman's book arms readers with information about everyday life -- from science, history, and politics to sports, television, and radio -- that encyclopedias, dictionaries, and almanacs just don't have. Where else will you learn what makes women open their mouths when applying mascara?

    He is one of the UK's most recognisable and celebrated stand-ups. His energy, finely crafted one-liners, and lightning quick ad-libs are second to none, and his solo tours sell out wherever he plays. Autumn 2006 saw the successful launch of Lee's own sitcom Not Going Out on BBC 1 with the first series winning both the Break-Through Award at the RTS Awards and the Gold Rose D'or award for Best Sitcom. This hugely popular show is now on its fifth series with a 6th series scheduled for filming this autumn. It's regularly watched by over 4 million viewers. So what's the story? Lee's early life after leaving school involved time working in a bingo hall and as a stableboy. After working at the stable for three days he asked if he could try and ride a horse; the trainer, Ginger McCain, agreed and the first horse he ever rode was Red Rum. Lee went on to have various other jobs (including a Bluecoat at Pontins and a dog whisperer), and did his first open mike slot in 1994. So far so good. But as anyone who's seen Lee's stand-up will attest, Lee is a natural story teller. He is widely loved and his book will be an absolute corker. And you can bet your bottom dollar that it will be at the very top of Xmas present wishlists up and down the country this autumn.

    All of your favorite artists are represented in these pages—from Bon Jovi and Green Day to Miley Cyrus, Beyoncé, and beyond. Already a smash sensation on the Internet—the Tumblr page has 20,000+ followers—Pop Sonnets has been featured by the A.V. Club, BuzzFeed, and Vanity Fair, among many others. More than half of these pop sonnets are exclusive to this collection and have never been published in any form.

    How charming. That is, unless you have the misfortune of finding yourself in an English Murder Village, where danger lurks around each picturesque cobblestone corner and every sip of tea may be your last. If you insist on your travels, do yourself a favor and bring a copy of this little book. It may just keep you alive. Brought to life with dozens of Gorey-esque drawings by illustrator Jay Cooper and peppered with allusions to classic crime series and unmistakably British murder lore, Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village gives you the tools you need to avoid the same fate, should you find yourself in a suspiciously cozy English village (or simply dream of going). Good luck, and whatever you do, avoid the vicar.

    Three years ago Stephen Pile decided to do something about it: he formed the Not Terribly Good Club of Great Britain. To get into the Club you had to be not terribly good at something and preferably downright awful. Members addressed the Club on the things they did worst or couldn't do at all. Sometimes they would give displays and win standing ovations. Over the years they held appalling musical evenings, art exhibitions and so on until the membership grew from 20 to 200. The book contains an application form for membership.

    Later came the all-female Girls on Top with Jennifer Saunders, Ruby Wax and Tracy Ullman. Then, as part of the wildly successful duo, French and Saunders, Dawn helped create a repertoire of brilliantly observed recurring characters parodying popular culture and impersonating everything from Madonna and Harry Potter to The Exorcist. Dawn's more recent role in The Vicar of Dibley again has showcased not only her talent but also her ability to take a controversial issue and make it mainstream and funny. From her early years as an RAF child to her flat-sharing antics with Jennifer Saunders, from her outspoken views on sizeism to her marriage to Lenny Henry, Dear Fatty will chronicle the fascinating and hilarious rise of a complex, dynamic and unstoppable woman.

    Every comedy, tragedy, history, and poem of Shakespeare's is collected here in this comprehensive guide.Shakespeare's canon comes to life with images, idea webs, timelines, and quotes that help the reader understand the context of Shakespeare's plays and poems. Each play includes a glance-able guide to story chronology, so you can easily get back on track if you get lost in Shakespeare's beautiful language. Character guides are a handy reference for casual readers and an invaluable resource for playgoers and students writing reports on Shakespeare. The Shakespeare Book includes the best of Shakespeare, and it's set to become a staple for theater lovers, Shakespeare students, and Shakespeare fans because its information is delivered in such an understandable and inspirational way.

    The legendary star of the classic sitcom I Love Lucy was at the pinnacle of her success when she sat down to record the story of her life. No comedienne had made America laugh so hard, no television actress had made the leap from radio and B movies to become one of the world's best-loved performers. This is her story--in her own words.The story of the ingenue from Jamestown, New York, determined to go to Broadway, destined to make a big splash, bound to marry her Valentino, Desi Arnaz. In her own inimitable style, she tells of their life together--both storybook and turbulent; intimate memories of their children and friends; wonderful backstage anecdotes; the empire they founded; the dissolution of their marriage. And, with a heartfelt happy ending, her enduring marriage to Gary Morton.Here is the lost manuscript that her fans and loved ones will treasure. Here is the laughter. Here is the life. Here's Lucy...

    In a collection of philosophical musings, Homer Simpson shares quips, diatribes, insults, dialogues, and quotes on such topics as religion, modern life, humankind's role in the universe, health, and other topics both sacred and profane.

    and I am wide awake because the man of the house has decided that he needs to perform a series of complex manoeuvres that involve him balancing on his left elbow. When I fell asleep last night, there was a baby lying next to me. Her smelly diaper is still wedged on my head but aside from this rather damp clue, I can't seem to find her anywhere. I could ask my mother-in-law if she has seen the baby, but she may just tell me that I need to fast on alternate Mondays, and God will deliver the baby back to me . . . Full of wit and delicious observations, Mrs Funnybones captures the life of the modern Indian woman—a woman who organizes dinner each evening, even as she goes to work all day, who runs her own life but has to listen to her Mummyji, who worries about her weight and the state of the country. Based on Twinkle Khanna’s super-hit column, Mrs Funnybones marks the debut of one of our funniest, most original voices.

    Or April, the Neo-Nazi bringing up her twin daughters Lamb and Lynx (who have just formed a white-power folk group for kids called Prussian Blue), and her youngest daughter, Dresden. For a decade now, Louis Theroux has been making programs about offbeat characters on the fringes of U.S. society. Now he revisits the people who have most intrigued him to try to discover what motivates them, and why they believe the things they believe. From his Las Vegas base (where else?), Theroux calls on these assorted dreamers, schemers, and outlaws--and in the process finds out a little about the workings of his own mind. What does it mean, after all, to be weird, or "to be yourself"? Do we choose our beliefs or do our beliefs choose us? And is there something particularly weird about Americans? America, prepare yourself for a hilarious look in the mirror that has already taken the rest of the English-speaking world by storm: "Paul Theroux's son writes with just as clear an eye for character and place as his father.... And he's funny.... Theroux's final analysis of American weirdness is true and new." -- Literary Review (England)

    In fact, it had a most inauspicious beginning. Due to the extensive television coverage devoted to the assassination of President John Kennedy the day before, the first episode of Doctor Who went out later than scheduled. Viewing figures were disappointing, but a decision was taken to give the programme a second showing the following week. The response was tremendous and after a shaky start the series was all set to run and run and run...Peter Haining has compiled a fitting tribute to the success of this remarkable programme, to mark its twentieth anniversary. His book reflects the rich diversity of talent and ideas that have invested Doctor Who with its unique appeal to viewers of all ages and made it the vital and popular series it remains to this day- a popularity reinforced by W.H. Allen/Target's novelisations of the stories.In addition to articles on key landmarks in the Doctor Who universe, this celebratory volume contains contributions from Verity Lambert, the first producer of the programme; Barry Letts, one-time director, producer, and executive producer; Terrrance Dicks, ex-script editor, script writer, and author of many of the Doctor Who novelisations; John Nathan-Turner, the current producer; and all five actors who have played the part of the Doctor give their views on this epic phenomenon.For those who first saw the programme in 1963 to those who regularly watch it today, this W.H. Allen special will be a constant source of pleasure and a unique volume to treasure.