For Chio Miyamo, just making it to school is a miracle! From construction to biker gangs and the sudden call of nature, all kinds of troubles both big and small rain down on our titular hero!

    The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    Too bad he doesn't have a choice in the matter when nine Valkyrie sisters come barging into his home! They've tasked him with raising their level to fight off the monsters threatening humanity--and how will he do that, exactly...? By gettin' down & dirty to the max!!!

    However, the night before his hopeless bout, a mysterious hermit grants Allen a button that will give him one hundred million years to train in an alternate reality when pressed. Allen not only gladly accepts the offer but also goes back for seconds, thirds, tenths even! With over a billion years of straight practice under his belt, the world is about to see what the “Reject Swordsman” can really do!

    Oscar Orcus is considered a third-rate Synergist by most people. He spends his days peacefully, working so he can send money back to an orphanage. All that changes when the whirlwind that is Miledi Reisen storms into his life. Miledi sees the hidden potential in Oscar, and invites him on her journey to defeat the gods. Oscar wants no part of any journey, and he refuses. But Miledi is persistent, and the situation changes drastically when the orphanage he wants to protect is attacked. In the end, what will our unlikely hero decide?

    But when he stumbles across Ria, a beautiful blonde knight, he may well have gotten more adventure than he bargained for!

    But some debates can never be settled no matter how much you run up your bar tab arguing with your friends. Well, it’s time to answer your questions once and for all: • Could an average guy start in the WNBA?• Would sumo wrestlers make great NFL linemen?• How easy is it for pro athletes to get laid? • How good are pro golfers at miniature golf?• Do pro athletes really play drunk or high?• How would a fan hit against a major league pitcher?To settle more than thirty of sports’ greatest (and most ridiculous) debates, Todd Gallagher has teamed up with coaches, general managers, and athletes—including LeBron James, Mike Tyson, Dwyane Wade, Johan Santana, Eddie George, Jose Canseco, and many others. But Gallagher didn’t just ask questions. He put these debates to the test—literally. He sent an all-midget lineup up against a pro baseball team. He swam freestyle against a doggie-paddling Olympic gold medalist. He recruited America's #1 darts player to test that uncanny accuracy in beer pong. And, yes, he stuck a frying pan in tennis star Andy Roddick’s hands and went to battle.The results are hilarious and enlightening. Best of all, once you have the answers you’ll be able to shut up the next loudmouth who tries to debate you at the bar.

    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

    When Betty and Veronica catch wind of the mash note, each believes the other one sent it, and all-out war is declared to determine who will win Archie's heart once and for all!

    It also happens to sit on a weak point in the space time continuum. Which is somewhat unfortunate for Ian Faulkener, a graphic novelist from London, who was hoping for some peace and quiet in which to recuperate following a very messy breakdown. It was the cats that first alerted Ian to the fact that something was not quite right with Tinker's Cottage. Not only was he never sure just how many of them there actually were, but the mysterious way they seemed to disappear and reappear defied logic. The cats, and of course the Pope, disappearing literary agents, mislaid handymen and the insanity of Cherie Blair World. As Ian tries to untangle the mystery of the doors of Tinker's cottage he risks becoming lost forever in the myriad alternate universes predicted by Schrodinger. Not to mention his cats. Schrodinger's Cottage is a playful romp through a variety of alternate worlds peopled by an array of wonderful comic characters that are the trademark of David Luddington's novels. For fans of the sadly missed Douglas Adams, Schrodinger's Cottage will be a welcome addition to their library. A heart-warming comedy with touches of inspired lunacy that pays homage to The Hitchhiker's Guide whilst firmly treading its own path.

    Entering a world of mysterious powers and nightmarish consequences, Chris realizes the secret belief of every teenage boy- that his wang has the power to change the world. The Monkey's Penis is the third installment in the terrifying Shingles series, and once again readers with weak hearts or bladders are advised to read on at their own risk...

    62 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff. This detailed literature summary also contains Topics for Discussion and a Free Quiz on Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff by Christopher Moore.

    However, unlike in works of fantasy, no beautiful girl barges into his life, no secret organization knocks on his door, and in fact, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary happens at all. Eventually forced to come face to face with the reality that his life would remain unremarkable, he snaps and decides to make the extraordinary happen with his own hands! Follow along as he creates it all: a secret organization filled with espers, forces of darkness that threaten the world, protagonists, heroines, rivals, action, romance, and so much more!If *you* had almighty telekinesis, what would *you* do?

    From the random braindropping (When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.) to favorite oxymorons (holy war, for one), and from questions to ponder (Why are there no B batteries? for instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs.