Uncle Shelby's Abz Book

    Since then, his obsessive-compulsive behavior and sarcastic nature have driven away most of the population, and everyone else hates him because he's gay. As he sees it, he's bound to repulse any prospective friends, let alone boyfriends, so why bother?By the time Cole enters college, he's become an anal-retentive loner—but it's not a problem until his roommate graduates and the housing department assigns Ellis Montgomery to move in with Cole. Ellis is messy, gorgeous, straight, and worst of all, a "jock"!During a school year filled with frat buddies, camping expeditions, and meddling parents, Cole and Ellis develop a friendship that turns Cole's glass-half-empty outlook on its head. There must be more to Ellis than a fun-loving jock—and maybe Cole's reawakening libido has rekindled his hope for more than camaraderie.

    An adventure in picking up his prescriptions puts him in the path of his geeky, brownie-baking neighbor, Spencer Morgan. Spencer sweeps into Quinn’s life like a tropical storm of sunshine and rainbows. Not surprisingly, it’s chaos at first sight. Quinn’s in need of a little tender loving care, and Spencer decides he’s just the man for the job. Their very different lives might clash, but they might also find some common ground—and maybe more.

    Reclusive comic book artist Trip Spector spends his life doodling super-square, straitlaced superheroes, hiding from his fans, and crushing on his unattainable boss until he meets the dork of his dreams. Silas Goolsby is a rowdy FX makeup creator with a loveless love life and a secret streak of geek who yearns for unlikely rescues and a truly creative partnership.Against their better judgment, they fall victim to chemistry, and what starts as infatuation quickly grows tender and terrifying. With Silas’s help, Trip gambles his heart and his art on a rotten plan: sketching out Scratch, a "very graphic novel" that will either make his name or wreck his career. But even a smash can't save their world if Trip retreats into his mild-mannered rut, leaving Silas to grapple with betrayal and emotions he can't escape. What will it take for this dynamic duo to discover that heroes never play it safe?

    Whether impersonating Sigmund Freud in a department store window during the holidays, climbing an icy mountain in cheap loafers, or learning primitive survival skills in the wilds of New Jersey, Rakoff clearly demonstrates how he doesn't belong-nor does he try to.In his debut collection of essays, Rakoff uses his razor-sharp wit and snarky humor to deliver a barrage of damaging blows that, more often than not, land squarely on his own jaw-hilariously satirizing the writer, not the subject. Joining the wry and the heartfelt, Fraud offers an object lesson in not taking life, or ourselves, too seriously.

    It has to be better than where he came from, but he has no idea what he’s signed up for. Lane is depressed, rude, and difficult to be around. It doesn’t help that Felix is clearly not qualified for the job, especially since he can’t even make oatmeal right. But Felix is trying to make his life better, so he’ll put up with the man even if it requires some unconventional methods. Felix’s humor soon pulls Lane out of his depression, and Felix feels like things are finally going right in his life.That is, until he’s attacked by someone who wants to keep Lane quiet. It’s clear that Lane isn’t who he’s pretending to be, and Felix should probably walk away. But Felix has finally found a place where he belongs and he’s willing to go to great lengths to stay by Lane’s side. Even if it involves kidnapping, stealing, and Felix’s overwhelmingly bad ideas, Felix will do just about anything because Lane is there for him unlike anyone else has ever been. Felix might be out of his element, but one thing he is sure about is that he doesn’t want to leave Lane… even if it costs him his life.Hidden in Darkness is 90k words of snark, car chases, and morally questionable choices.*Newly edited with an updated cover.

    He needs a new flatmate, and soon. And what better way to advertise than on the noticeboards around campus? Trouble is, someone is taking down his ads. Jacob writes to the offending thief, little expecting to be answered—and soon he finds himself in a deeper pickle: who is this Mr. X that he keeps writing to? And how can Jacob be falling for him?

    McQueen (no relation, unfortunately) seems to have a knack for bad luck. But a failed marriage, a stalled career, a judgmental ex-wife, a distant daughter, a horrid little studio apartment in the far reaches of the London suburbs-all these pathetic elements seem to pale in the chiseled face of his newest tormentor: the Twelfth Sexiest Man in the World, Josh Harper.Josh is the star of Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know, a biographical play about Lord Byron-and Stephen is his understudy. Not only is Josh fantastically, infuriatingly good-looking, internationally renowned, and remarkably talented, he's also frustratingly healthy. No matter how many all-night booze-and-coke benders Josh goes on, he always shows up at the stage door for his call like clockwork. Stephen doubts he'll ever get his chance to slip on the puffy shirt and tight breeches of Byron and tread the boards in the role that would certainly be the break he's always waited for.And just when Stephen's sure he couldn't resent Josh more, he meets Josh's witty, restless American wife, Nora . . . and discovers he likes her a little too much. Another man might curse his luck at finding that his potential dream woman is a rival's wife, but at this point, Stephen would expect nothing else. Caught between his stirring feelings for Nora, the demands of an insistent and secretive Josh, and his lifelong desire for a real career in show business, Stephen must make a terrible decision: Will it be the girl or the fame?A hapless, bumbling bloke in love, an arrogant megastar with a potpourri of addictions, a sexy married woman out of her element in the fast lane-David Nicholls brings them all together in this knockout romantic comedy.From the Hardcover edition.

    From paying taxes and getting up for work to dancing with kittens and starting a band, readers everywhere will relate to the ongoing struggle between Heart and Brain.Heart and Brain: An Awkward Yeti Collection illustrates the relationship between the sensible Brain and its emotionally driven counterpart, the Heart.Boasting more than one million pageviews per month, TheAwkwardYeti.com has become a webcomic staple since its creation in 2012.

    But Alan’s new job proves to be anything but boring when his co-workers start turning up dead. The mysterious megacorporation Amalgamated Synergy has taken a deadly interest in Alan and his three roommates, and the hapless quartet are woefully unequipped to deal with the psychotic secretaries, murderous middle managers, and villainous vice-presidents hunting them down. Their investigation leads them deep into Amalgamated Synergy’s headquarters, but can Alan and his friends stay alive long enough to discover who – or what – waits for them on the top floor?

    Fortunately his partner and best friend, Donnelly, has his back—whether that means helping Brandt shop gay boutiques for sexy underwear or offering Jäger and encouragement while he researches porn.Despite his mortification, Brandt gives the audition his best “shot”—and becomes an overnight sensation. But to meet the man behind the operation, he'll have to give a repeat performance, this time live on webcam opposite the highest bidder. Donnelly makes sure to win that auction for his partner’s sake, but their plan has a flaw: faking it is not an option.In the aftermath, Brandt is a humiliated mess trying desperately to come to terms with what he’s had to do for the job and his own mixed feelings. But Donnelly has been on a journey of discovery of his own. Suddenly everything the two men thought they knew about themselves and each other gets turned inside out. Meanwhile, they still have a case to solve… but it may not be the case they thought it was.

    Kalen, Shannon’s overly social sister, is determined to play match-maker and find a special someone for her sister. After a disastrous date with one of Kalen’s recent selections, Shannon decides to take her love life back into her own hands by joining the local lesbian cyber match-maker.Mid thirties, still single, house broken but rabid. If you’re looking for something different then I’m your girl. Write me if you dare... P.U. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to build her profile after consuming half a bottle of her favorite wine... or to use a picture of herself at the age of six - after she had cut her own hair-as her online profile photograph.Hiding behind the online persona of Pitifully Ugly, Shannon finds the courage to meet new women and face the disaster called dating. As her charming personality surfaces, Shannon’s search for the perfect match may be closer than she realizes.

    Not me. That would be too clichéd. Then again, I never thought I’d stoop to sitting on Santa’s lap and asking him to bring me a boyfriend, either. In my defense, though, the man of my dreams had just knocked me into a store display ten minutes prior, so I wasn’t exactly thinking straight. Hah, but when did I ever. I never thought I’d see Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome again, but it looked like fate—or Santa—had other plans when I ran into him the following night. Seemed like I might be getting my Christmas wish after all, right? Right. So imagine my surprise when I showed up at my parents’ house for the holidays, only to find out that my sister had asked Santa for the exact same thing I did—and he’d delivered early. Yep, my sister scored herself a handsome new boyfriend, and he’s absolutely perfect. He’s charming, my parents love him, and even Lucifer the demon cat tolerates him. Oh, did I mention he also happens to be my dream guy? The one who’s supposed to be under my tree? Yeah. Merry freakin’ Christmas to me. Someone pass the hot buttered rum. This is a fun, feel-good MM Christmas novella.

    And now that he’s in college, it’s finally his turn to shine.Asher’s relationship advice column in the school newspaper is his strongest matchmaking instrument, especially when it comes to helping hopeless romantics find their soulmates.But like every heroic quest, there are a few bumps in the road and dragons to slay.There’s a damsel in distress Asher’s best friend thinks is a psychopath, a handsome prince Asher can’t stop drooling over, and a huge, mysterious roommate Asher can’t help but pester.It doesn’t matter though. Nothing will stop Asher when it comes to helping people find their true love.He’s absolutely positive everything will work out in the end.Because love is always like a fairy tale…right?* * *The main romance arc spans across all three novellas. When Red Cried Wolf contains little romance but sets up for the rest of the series.—When Red Cried Wolf is a slow-burn romance with over-the-top characters, fairy tale references, ridiculous texts, and eventually, a happy ever after.

    Collected here and illustrated to wonderful haunting effect by Edward Gorey, these short, funny pieces offer moral instruction for all types of mischief makers—from a certain young Jim, "who ran away from his nurse and was eaten by a lion," to the tale of Matilda, "who told lies and was burned to death”—and add up to a delightful read for any fan of Roald Dahl or Shel Silverstein.