Couplehood


Paul Reiser - 1994
    A veteran comic performer, Reiser is best-known as the co-creator and star of the highly-rated NBC comedy, "Mad About You," which "Time" Magazine called "The season's best new sitcom"in its 1992 debut. Every Thursday night more than twenty million viewers watch as Paul Reiser reveals the most intimate and hilarious scenes of a marriage. Now for the first time, Reiser brings his trademark wit to the page in a book that will delight his eagerly-awaiting audience, and anyone else who has ever fallen in love--or tried not to. In Couplehood, a "New York Times" bestseller for more than 40 weeks, Reiser reflects on what it means to be half of a couple -- everything from the science of hand holding, to the technique of tag-team storytelling, to the politics of food and why it always seems to come down to chicken or fish.NBC's hit comedy, "Mad About You," has collected his comic observationsabout life and love in" Couplehood," a New York Times bestseller for morethan 40 weeks.In "Couplehood," Reiser reflects on what it means to be half of a couple-- everything from the science of hand holding, to the technique of tag-teamstorytelling, to the politics of food and why it always seems to come down tochicken or fish.Cited by "Time" magazine as "the season's best new sitcom" in its 1992debut,

I Run, Therefore I Am--Nuts!


Bob Schwartz - 2001
    Whether you fall in the middle of the pack, up near the front of the pack, or so far from any semblance of a pack that you're wondering if everyone went home already, you'll find plenty to laugh about in this book.I Run, Therefore I Am--Nuts! is a comical examination of events that are near and dear to every runner's well-conditioned heart. As the Dave Barry of running, popular running humorist Bob Schwartz pokes fun at the idiosyncratic personalities of runners and the funny situations they encounter in training, eating, racing, preparing for races, and revolving their everyday lives around running.I Run, Therefore I Am--Nuts! brings out the humor in situations that every type of runner can relate to:- The intricate art of drinking on the run from paper cups- Trying to reacquaint fingers to toes after years of tight hamstrings - Hitting the wall- Having your heart flutter with the newest cushioned training shoe- Discovering cross-training contraptions designed to strengthen your gluteus to its maximus- Getting excited about the latest flavor of energy gel on the marketAs any runner with tight hamstrings and a funny bone would, you'll laugh your way through these and many other amusing stories illustrated with cartoons by artist B.K. Taylor, whose drawings have appeared in many national publications, including Mad Magazine and National Lampoon.Author Bob Schwartz is America's funniest running writer. An avid, slightly over-the-top runner himself, he has completed countless marathons (but laments that excessive glycogen depletion at the finish prevents him from fully remembering each one) as well as all race distances from the 200 Meter Kids Snowman Shuffle (where he finished second after edging out a four-year-old at the finish line) to an ultramarathon of 50 miles (a feat he has no intention of repeating). In addition to his weekly syndicated newspaper column, he has had hundreds of humorous essays published in national and regional publications, including Runner's World, FootNotes, and Fitness Runner.For anyone who loves the aromatic smell of perspiration, who enjoys the exhilaration of exhaustion, who drinks solely from squirt bottles, or whose wardrobe is filled with reflective clothing--this book is for you.

Tommy's Honor: The Story of Old Tom Morris and Young Tom Morris, Golf's Founding Father and Son


Kevin Cook - 2007
     The Morrises were towering figures in their day. Old Tom, born in 1821,began life as a nobody— he was the son of a weaver and a maid. But he was born in St. Andrews, Scotland, the cradle of golf, and the game was in his blood. He became the Champion Golfer of Scotland, a national hero who won tournaments (and huge bets) while his young son looked on. As “Keeper of the Green” at the town’s ancient links, Tom deployed golf’s first lawnmower and banished sheep from the fairways. Then Young Tommy’s career took off. Handsome Tommy Morris, the Tiger Woods of the nineteenth century, was a more daring player than his father. Soon he surpassed Old Tom and dominated the game. But just as he reached his peak—with spectators flocking to see him play— Tommy’s life took a tragic turn, leading to his death at the age of twenty-four. That shock is at the heart of Tommy’s Honor. It left Tom to pick up the pieces—to honor his son by keeping Tommy’s memory alive. Like the New York Times bestseller The Greatest Game Ever Played, Tommy’s Honor is both fascinating history and a moving personal saga. Golfers will love it, but this book isn’t only for golfers. It’s for every son who has fought to escape a father’s shadow and for every father who had guided a son toward manhood, then found it hard to let him go.

Dream Golf


Stephen Goodwin - 2010
    Golf enthusiast Mike Keiser had the dream of building this British-style "links" course on a stretch of Oregon's rugged coast, and Dream Golf is the first all-inclusive account of how he turned his passion into a reality. Now, in this updated and expanded edition, golf writer Stephen Goodwin revisits Bandon Dunes and introduces readers to Keiser's latest effort there, a new course named Old Macdonald that will present golfers with a more rugged, untamed version of the game. This "new" approach to the sport is, in fact, a return to the game's origins, with a very deep bow to Charles Blair Macdonald (1856 –1939), the father of American golf course architecture and one of the founders of the U.S. Golf Association. This highly anticipated fourth course, designed by renowned golf course architect Tom Doak along with Jim Urbina — as detailed in Dream Golf — will further enhance Bandon Dunes' reputation as a place where golf really does seem to capture the ancient magic of the game.

Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes


Lewis Grizzard - 1988
    He tells us why Junior Leaguers don't do it in groups, why Baptists won't do it standing up, and why Richard Nixon never did it, among other things. From the Paperback edition.

The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport


Carl Hiaasen - 2008
    So gradually he ventured back to the dreaded driving range, this time as the father of a five-year-old son--and also as a grandfather."What possesses a man to return in midlife to a game at which he'd never excelled in his prime, and which in fact had dealt him mostly failure, angst and exasperation? Here's why I did it: I'm one sick bastard."And thus we have Carl's foray into a world of baffling titanium technology, high-priced golf gurus, bizarre infomercial gimmicks and the mind-bending phenomenon of Tiger Woods; a maddening universe of hooks and slices where Carl ultimately--and foolishly--agrees to compete in a country-club tournament against players who can actually hit the ball. "That's the secret of the sport's infernal seduction," he writes. "It surrenders just enough good shots to let you talk yourself out of quitting."Hiaasen's chronicle of his shaky return to this bedeviling pastime and the ensuing demolition of his self-esteem--culminating with the savage 45-hole tournament--will have you rolling with laughter. Yet the bittersweet memories of playing with his own father and the glow he feels when watching his own young son belt the ball down the fairway will also touch your heart. Forget Tiger, Phil and Ernie. If you want to understand the true lure of golf, turn to Carl Hiaasen, who has written an extraordinary book for the ordinary hacker.

8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter: And other tips from a beleaguered father [not that any of them work]


W. Bruce Cameron - 2001
    The reason is simple: he expresses something very true in a very funny way, examining just what happens when Daddy's little girl becomes a teenager. Beginning with the warning signs (#5: Your car insurance suddenly costs more than the car), the book covers dating (Rule #2: Keep your hands and eyes off my daughter's body or I will remove them), the telephone (seemingly wired to her nervous system), braces (the costliest metal on earth), the first job, and more. "Cameron's take on the angst felt by every father of a teenage daughter is witty, wise, and excruciatingly on the money" (Charles Shyer, writer and director, Father of the Bride I and II).

Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete's Handbook


Drew Magary - 2008
    Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don't need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment. This book will be all you require to cast aside your boring life as some jackass who cruises around bookstores hoping to score grad-school trim. With Men with Balls, you will learn how to: Showboat using classical pantomime techniques Figure out whether or not a stripper actually fancies you Emotionally cope from the emotional fallout of rookie year hazing games Find out which free locker room amphetamines will give you a shot of energy, and which will cause you to run down terrified schoolchildren with your Escalade (NOTE: Some do both) Avoid media scrutiny by directing beat writers and columnists to the nearest hot buffet So grab your balls, bookboy. You're about to become a home-run hitting, steroid-injecting, angry-orgy-having Turbostud. They're gonna need a whole ocean just to wash your jock.

I'm Back for More Cash: A Tony Kornheiser Collection (Because You Can't Take Two Hundred Newspapers into the Bathroom)


Tony Kornheiser - 2002
    Within these pages, the celebrated Washington Post columnist, Pardon the Interruption cohost, and ESPN radio personality relates his experience as an OnStar user, the proud new owner of the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie & BBQ, and a “phone-a-friend” on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. And in between, he dishes political commentary on Monica and Bill and George W. and Al. New for the paperback edition is Tony’s final Washington Post Style column. So read all about his quest to fit into size 36 Dockers and his struggle to buy holiday gifts. And know that in the process you’re handing this Kornheiser guy way too much dough for these columns.

If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries What Am I Doing in the Pits?


Erma Bombeck - 1971
    She gets anxious about running out of ball bearings; about snakes sneaking in through the pipes; about making meaningful conversation on New Year’s Eve. Married life, she realizes, is an unpredictable saga even when you know exactly how loud your husband snores every night—and she wouldn’t have it any other way. In this crisp collection of essays, Bombeck shows off the irresistible style that made her one of America’s favorite humorists for more than three decades. When she sharpens her wit, no family member is sacred and no self-help fad is safe.

We Thought You Would Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive


Laurie Notaro - 2005
    Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.

Why You Crying?: My Long, Hard Look at Life, Love, and Laughter


George Lopez - 2004
    Read it and weep!When George Lopez gives a comic performance, there’s not a dry eye or empty seat in the house, and for six years, millions of viewers tuned in to get their weekly G-Lo fix with ABC’s The George Lopez Show. Now, George is back, and he’s made the switch from prime-time family guy to late-night talk show host. Lopez Tonight combines George’s irreverent and very opinionated humor with spontaneous celebrity interactions to create a party of a show; with George, the audience knows the conversation will be high-energy, low-formality, and 100 percent unpredictable. But while he can make his audiences cry with laughter, Lopez’s own life—before becoming one of America’s most popular Latino personalities—was anything but funny. Abandoned by his California migrant-worker father at the tender age of two months and deserted by his own mother at the age of ten years, Lopez was raised by grandparents who viewed “love” as a different four-letter word. Co-written by Emmy Award-winning writer and sportscaster Armen Keteyian, the darkly funny narrative of Why You Crying? riffs on the importance of family, the stark, often hysterical differences between Chicano and gringo culture, and the inspirational message that anybody can become Somebody. Read it and weep!

The Kingdom of Shivas Irons


Michael Murphy - 1997
    Michael Murphy's Golf in the Kingdom is one of the bestselling golf books of all time and has been hailed as "a golf classic if any exists in our day" (John Updike) and "a masterpiece on the mysticism of golf" (San Francisco Chronicle).  Golf in the Kingdom introduced Shivas Irons, the mysterious golf pro and philosopher with whom Murphy played a mythic round of golf on Scotland's Burningbush links, a round that profoundly altered his game--and his vision.The Kingdom of Shivas Irons is the enchanting story of Murphy's return to Scotland in search of Shivas Irons and his wisdom about golf and human potential.  Murphy's quest takes him from the mystical golf courses of Scotland, across the world to the first Russian Open Golf Championship, and finally to Pebble Beach on the California Coast.  The result is a delightful exploration of the inner game of golf and a provocative inquiry into our remarkable possibilities for growth and transformation.

I Can Has Cheezburger?: A LOLcat Colleckshun


Professor Happycat - 2008
    Over the past year, though, one sensation has dominated the Web: LOLcats. Here’s how it works: First you find a picture of a cat online, and then you add a caption that reflects the cat’s point of view. Just remember that although cats can speak English, their spelling and grammar is not so hot. Once you’re done, you have a LOLcat (laugh out loud cat). Since its founding in January 2007, icanhascheezburger .com (named after the most famous LOLcat of all) has been the center of the LOLcat world. I Can Has Cheezburger? collects 200 LOLcats from the enormously popular site, some classic and some new, in glorious and glossy full color. The book also highlights legendary LOLcat forms recognizable to fans everywhere (including “Do Not Want,” “Monorail Cat,” and “Oh Noes!”), and offers a guide to the finer points of LOLspeak. Packed with witty and endearing images and published into a proven cat-egory, I Can Has Cheezburger? is sure to delight feline aficionados and Internet nerds alike.

The Owl in the Attic and Other Perplexities


James Thurber - 1931
    H. W. Fowler's A Dictionary of Modern English Usage.