101 hilarious and dirty jokes for adults.

    In reality, the discovery was an ancestor of the Klyntar symbiotes…and would become a waking nightmare for a platoon of American soldiers!

     As a nineteen year old he had heard that one of his brothers had been killed in the Battle of Goliad, an early confrontation in the Texan war of independence with Mexico, and swore to travel West to “take pay of the Mexicans” for his brother’s death. In the following years he fought time and again against the Mexicans for the newly formed Republic of Texas and saw action at Salado Creek, Hondo River and during the Mier Campaign. After returning for the wars in Mexico he abandoned the Texan military and joined the Texas Rangers under the leadership of John Coffee Hays and served for a number of years defending Texans against Native American and border bandits along the frontier. This riotous narrative of the adventures of one of the saltiest and most individualistic pioneer Indian fighters that the state ever produced is told in a leisurely, satirical fashion that reflects a way of life long since lost. Duval's chronicle of one of Texas' greatest adventurers is filled with Wallace's humor and colorful speech. Wallace emerges from the book in all his vigor and robustness, and the reader is transported to a rugged, uncultivated frontier where a few men who were rough enough were carving out a new empire. The flavor and the spirit of early Texas have been captured for countless readers by John C. Duval's Big Foot Wallace. About one-fourth of Big Foot Wallace is devoted to a detailed account of Wallace's experiences in the Mier Expedition. The remainder of the book deals with his adventures on the frontiers of Texas as an Indian fighter, a soldier of fortune, and a member of the first company of Rangers. John C. Duval, the author of Big Foot Wallace, has been called the first man of letters in Texas. Earlier Texans devoted their time to writing about politics and land, but Duval wrote of the frontier and its people with a clarity of perception equaled by few writers in any period. Duval was a man of the camp and range. Civilization did not fit him very well, and he spent much of his time in the wilderness alone. Like his friend and companion, Big Foot Wallace, Duval was an adventurer whose experiences were varied and exciting. In Big Foot Wallace Duval relates a number of his experiences that had been shared with Wallace. Writing late in life, Duval set down memories of events that had mellowed with time. He strove for pictorial and dramatic effects, not historical accuracy. Still Big Foot Wallace has been acclaimed by historians for its amazing accuracy. This book was published in 1870. Duval passed away in 1897 and Wallace in 1899.

    In The Last Trail, a woman is kidnapped from Fort Henry by a band of renegades and hostile Ohio Valley Indians, and Lewis Wetzel and Jonathan Zane set out in pursuit, with little hope of survival. Finally, in The Spirit of the Border, Lewis Wetzel must single-handedly save Fort Henry, armed only with his long rifle and knife.

    

    Pheobe Throssel and Valentine Brown are a young couple separated by the Neopoleonic wars for ten years, only to find themselves the unfortunate victims of time and age upon their reunion. This story of lost love, spinsters, secret disguises, and the complexities of human emotion will enchant readers today as much as it did the audiences of New York and London over a century ago.

    It rests notably, amongst others, on the idea of Fidelity - Joseph ConradWritten at various times, under various influences, the four stories contained in Within the Tides are linked by Conrad's treatment of loyalty and betrayal. They range in setting from the Far East via eighteenth-century Spain to England. The tone shifts from the tragic inevitability of The Planter of Malata and the pathos of Because of the Dollars to the gothic The Inn of the Two Witches and the grim humour of The Partner. The form of the stories was experimental but does not obscure Conrad's humanity or his search for moral truth.Here, then, we have a master of the English language - F.R. LeavisThe cover shows a detail from A Coast Scene by Henry Wallis

    But after her mother, unsettled by growing political unrest, leaves for medical treatment in India, the civil war intensifies, changing young Enjeela’s life forever. Amid the rumble of invading Soviet tanks, Enjeela and her family are thrust into chaos and fear when it becomes clear that her mother will not be coming home.Thus begins an epic, reckless, and terrifying five-year journey of escape for Enjeela, her siblings, and their father to reconnect with her mother. In navigating the dangers ahead of them, and in looking back at the wilderness of her homeland, Enjeela discovers the spiritual and physical strength to find hope in the most desperate of circumstances.A heart-stopping memoir of a girl shaken by the brutalities of war and empowered by the will to survive, The Broken Circle brilliantly illustrates that family is not defined by the borders of a country but by the bonds of the heart.

    But when she and her friend, Peter, find a valuable coin and try to take it out of the shop, they find themselves in the fifteenth century. But that is only the beginning. The Edward V Coin The discovery of the coin from the short lived reign of Edward V, prompts Peter to want to find out what really happened to the princes in the Tower. The Anne Boleyn Necklace When Peter finds the famous B necklace worn by Anne Boleyn in many portraits, he is eager to use it to go back and see her in the flesh. But Rachel has sworn she'll never time travel again, until she finds a journal which reveals a cousin, stranded in the fifteenth century. She feels she must rescue her, but she doesn't stop to wonder if the cousin wants to be rescued. The Ripper Rings Jack the Ripper took souvenirs in the form of organs from his victims. But from one victim he took three rings and when they turn up in the antique shop, both Peter and Rachel are keen to find out how they got there.

    This was a time of religious persecution, poor government, secular hatred, and general oppression. The Irish soldiers left Ireland to fight in the French army and were some of the best soldiers fighting at that time.

    Other great kings and paladins are lost in the dim shadows oflong-past centuries, but Arthur still reigns in Camelot and his knightsstill ride forth to seek the Grail. "No little thing shall be The gentle music of the bygone years, Long past to us with all their hopes and fears."So wrote the poet William Morris in _The Earthly Paradise_. And surelyit is no small debt of gratitude we owe the troubadours and chroniclersand poets who through many centuries have sung of Arthur and hischampions, each adding to the song the gifts of his own imagination, sobuilding from simple folk-tales one of the most magnificent and movingstories in all literature.This debt perhaps we owe in greatest measure to three men; to Chrétiende Troies, a Frenchman, who in the twelfth century put many of the oldArthurian legends into verse; to Sir Thomas Malory, who first wrote outmost of the stories in English prose, and whose book, the _MorteDarthur_, was printed by William Caxton, the first English printer, in1485; and to Alfred, Lord Tennyson, who in his series of poems entitledthe _Idylls of the King_ retold the legends in new and beautiful guisein the nineteenth century.The history of Arthur is so shrouded in the mists of early England thatit is difficult to tell exactly who and what he was. There probably wasan actual Arthur, who lived in the island of Britain in the sixthcentury, but probably he was not a king nor even a prince. It seems mostlikely that he was a chieftain who led his countrymen to victory againstthe invading English about the year 500. So proud were his countrymen ofhis victories that they began to invent imaginary stories of his prowessto add to the fame of their hero, just as among all peoples legends soonspring up about the name of a great leader. As each man told the featsof Arthur he contributed those details that appealed most to his ownfancy and each was apt to think of the hero as a man of his own time,dressing and speaking and living as his own kings and princes did, withthe result that when we come to the twelfth century we find Geoffrey ofMonmouth, in his _History of the Kings of Britain_, describing Arthurno longer as a half-barbarous Briton, wearing rude armor, his arms andlegs bare, but instead as a most Christian king, the flower of mediævalchivalry, decked out in all the gorgeous trappings of a knight of theCrusades.As the story of Arthur grew it attracted to itself popular legends ofall kinds. Its roots were in Britain and the chief threads in its fabricremained British-Celtic. The next most important threads were those thatwere added by the Celtic chroniclers of Ireland. Then stories that werenot Celtic at all were woven into the legend, some from Germanicsources, which the Saxons or the descendants of the Franks may havecontributed, and others that came from the Orient, which may have beenbrought back from the East by men returning from the Crusades. And if itwas the Celts who gave us the most of the material for the stories ofArthur it was the French poets who first wrote out the stories and gavethem enduring form.It was the Frenchman, Chrétien de Troies, who lived at the courts ofChampagne and of Flanders, who put the old legends into verse for thepleasure of the noble lords and ladies that were his patrons. Hecomposed six Arthurian poems. The first, which was written about 1160 orearlier, related the story of Tristram. The next was called _Érec etÉnide_, and told some of the adventures that were later used by Tennysonin his _Geraint and Enid_. The third was _Cligès_, a poem that haslittle to do with the stories of Arthur and his knights as we havethem. Next came the _Conte de la Charrette_, or _Le Chevalier de laCharrette_, which set forth the love of Lancelot and Guinevere. Thenfollowed _Yvain_, or _Le Chevalier au Lion_, and finally came_Perceval_, or _Le Conte du Graal_, which gives the first account of theHoly Grail.

    Adventurer. Fighter. Drinker.Saviour?Pratchett goes swashbuckling in the hotly anticipated original fiction debut of the multi-million selling Warhammer star.Triumff is a ribald historical fantasy set in a warped clockwork-powered version of our present day … a new Elizabethan age, not of Elizabeth II but in the style of the original Virgin Queen. Throughout its rollicking pages, Sir Rupert Triumff drinks, dines and duels his way into a new Brass Age of Exploration and Adventure.

    It doesn't appear as a standalone work, but is included with several collections. The story is a prequel to the events in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and has the young Zaphod Beeblebrox working as a salvage ship operator. He guides some bureaucrats to a crashed spaceship which may be leaking some hazardous materials. The bureaucrats are determined to "make it safe". The comic asides in the story include some of the time travel paradoxes which are a common running theme in Adams' SF work, and plenty of material about lobsters

    Ever since that day, she has dreamt of going back and settling on a ranch. The chance to do so arises when she's headed to Richbrook to start a new life with her fiance. Tragedy strikes again though when he dies and leaves her a deteriorating ranch to operate. But she's not the only one who's going after it! A cruel land developer will play dirty to try and force Elizabeth off her land. When she asks Johnnie to her help, will she unexpectedly find herself falling for him? Will she finally get her happy ending she dreamt of?Johnnie Pratt has spent years traveling and working on ranches. His life has been anything but a piece of cake but he's not one to give up easily. When he receives Elizabeth's letter, he doesn't hesitate for a second to drop everything to go find her. He only expected to help her start her ranch, but when he realizes the danger that she's facing, he'll do anything to keep her safe - even offer to marry her. Can he convince her that everything he does for Elizabeth comes from his powerful feelings towards her?Tragedy is what separated them in the first place but it's also what will bring them back together again. As love blossoms between the two, they'll face the dark memories of their past and their fears in letting their guard down around each other. Will their love help them fight the enemy together so as to claim their well-deserved happiness?"The Love that Unites Us" is a historical western romance novel of approximately 80,000 words. No cheating, no cliffhangers, and a guaranteed happily ever after.

    Dracula has haunted the Marvel Age of Comics for years - now, see his modern misdeeds from Night One! When the Prince of Darkness rises, longtime enemies are ready for a fight - and so is one of his own descendants! Undead armies, time travel, deathbed voodoo, and more! Featuring the first appearance of multi-media marvel Blade: Vampire Hunter! Collects Tomb of Dracula #1-12.