His plan may have worked all too well. Now, to save us from creeping socialism, death panels and everything progressive, he has written the antidote, Tea Party Fairy Tales. In Tea Party Fairy Tales, Red Riding Hood stands up for her Second Amendment rights, the Little Match Girl defends the magic of the free market to her grave, and Jack of “Beanstalk” fame shows the moral decay of a life on the dole. For those who find these too long-winded, more than a dozen Aesop’s Fables have been reworked to illustrate the eternal truths of American conservatism in handy, shouting-points form. Tea Party Fairy Tales deserves a place on every young American’s nightstand, right next to the Rush Limbaugh plush doll and a Smith & Wesson automatic, to help prevent the destruction of everything good and true in American culture. “Wake up, Storybookland! Before it’s too late!”

    

    Who is the mysterious man in the brown suit? What does he want from her? Is there any wine in the fridge?As her life descends into chaos, Kelly’s questions lead her along a twisting path towards the truth — a truth she could never have imagined.

    He’s taken to hospital for treatment. Then people start trying to assassinate him.The man has to find out why, how to get them to stop, and what the CIA has to do with all this. There’s also the little problem of working out who he used to be, and why that changed. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Piper and best friend Lance are trying to find him…Jonathon Fairfax – still the world’s most socially awkward hero – is back. If only he knew.‘A hugely entertaining novel … a surprising, yet strangely fitting, progression to the Jonathon Fairfax story.’ Scott Pack (former head buyer for Waterstones)Pick up the latest Jonathon Fairfax novel – sequel to two Amazon bestsellers: The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax (‘A comic gem’ Stylist, ‘You can’t help being tickled’ The Guardian, Bath Novel Award shortlist) and Jonathon Fairfax Must Be Destroyed (‘A funny, daft-yet-relatable, nerve-jangly thriller’ Emerald Street).*That’s a trashcan or dumpster, for American readers.The Jonathon Fairfax novels can be read in any order.

    Their objective is classified, marked only by coordinates leading them into a deserted city at the heart of the fighting. From the beginning, everything possible goes wrong. A missile strike rocks the carrier mid-launch, and only a fraction of the unit reaches the surface alive.Outmanned, outgunned, and scattered, with a hard deadline to orbital bombardment looming, it is up to Drop Commander Tyco Hale to rally his troops and reach their objective. But what they find, hidden deep in the tunneled passages under the city, will change everything about what he fights for and what he believes in. With the unit in tatters and loyalties divided, the choice he makes in the dark will seal all of their fates - and much more besides.

    Donald Trump. Ivanka Trump. Hillary Clinton. Oprah. Barack Obama. Paul Ryan. Joe Biden. John Kerry. And a cast of thousands as the story behind the headlines you can't believe is exposed. Part political thriller, part soap opera, partially insane. The Deepest State was a viral hit - and this edition has the EXCLUSIVE, never before seen short story, "Enter the Bidenverse." Here's what they're saying about The Deepest State: "One of the greatest threads in Twitter history" – Richard Metzger "An amazing read" – A. Whitney Brown "Just keeps getting more amazing" – Jon Cryer "Amazing well written and riveting" – Merrill Markoe "This… is glorious" – Joy Reid "Epic, epic thread" – Jill Lawrence "A Twitter thread for the ages" – Marsha Warfield "Fucking brilliant" – Jeff Jarvis "Fantastic." – Steven Boyer "The most gorgeous thing I have read in a long time" – Penelope Patsuris "Good times" – Eliza Skinner "Comedy gold" – PJ Manney

     A modern-day, Clancy-like thriller -- the US president, Nantucket, a terrorist plot and the US Navy. An adrenaline ride with great authenticity. Andrew Russell, the 46th president of the United States, along with his wife and two young children have brought back a Kennedy-era feeling of Camelot to the White House. President Russell and his family are spending another vacation on the beautiful island of Nantucket. After three years of planning, the Islamic Front has embedded terrorist cells on the island in preparation for the arrival of President Russell and his family. With the resources of the US Navy at the ready -- the President, an ex-naval aviator, responds to the attack on his family with the focus, determination and aggressiveness that made him one of the best fighter pilots in the Fleet. The people of Nantucket, descendants of hardy New England stock, along with the combined military and intelligence assets of the US Government are about to be challenged by the events unleashed on the tiny picturesque island. Nantucket serves as the backdrop for this larger-than-life techno-thriller.

    She is addicted to the feeling of being on stage, looking out at expectant, up-turned mouths, waiting for the first laugh to hit. A first laugh that will not happen unless she creates it. But Brenda is clueless. The on-off girlfriend of a prolific comedian, it is only after she realises his best stage material consists of recycled versions of her own restless, smart-arsed energy that she begins to wonder whether she might be better off keeping her jokes for herself - and so she finds herself making her very first walk to the mark on stage in front of a bare brick wall, with just a spotlight and a PA system for cover, wondering what we all wonder from time to time: am I funny? A book as much about the thrill of performance as it is about what goes on when the microphone is switched off, Brenda Monk is Funny is a blackly humourous and devastatingly candid snapshot of the reality, the brutality and fragility of the comedy industry from an exciting new voice in fiction.

    Bruce Cameron, author of The Midnight Plan of the Repo Man"A smart mix of humor and humanity... An energy drink for the funny bone." --Jane Wagner, author of The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the UniverseBrad Fingerman was an art director in the glamorous world of New York advertising. He had the respect of his peers, a beautiful wife, and a bright future. That is, his future was bright before he spectacularly nuked his career, discovered his wife's infidelity, and witnessed a high-profile Mafia hit in a Midtown elevator. Now Brad's unemployed, divorced, and the government's key witness in a major murder trial.

    Lieutenant David Brent and his crew are waiting on a torpedo boat – fast, agile and terribly vulnerable.They are the sole members of a Commando raiding party, poised to charge ashore on a carefully orchestrated rescue mission. Little do they know that Hell is about to break loose…The near-suicidal mission has been ordered at the very highest level of government. Now, engines idling, alert for the tell-tale sounds of patrolling E-boats, they can only pray to come out of this alive… A nerve-shredding war thriller that crackles with intensity, perfect for fans of Anthony Trew, Douglas Reeman and Philip McCutchan.

    Lieutenant Orion Murphy is scheduled for execution due to a clerical error. His only out is to undergo a complete physical makeover, get a rank and name change, and agree to take over a new platoon in the Segnal Space Marine Corps (SSMC). Seeing that it's a case of comply or die, he accepts the offer. A week later, he finds himself standing on the bridge of The SSMC Reluctant with a misfit crew, an insane special agent, an antiquated robot mechanic, and his updated identity. Will the newly-named Commodore Don Harr be able to get control of the ship and crew? Can they all survive their first mission, especially since they're not really supposed to? And who came up with this mission, anyway? …it all makes Harr wonder if execution may have been the better option.Author Rating - Comedic-Red: Contains racy and irreverent humor, adult themes, situations, and language. Will likely be offensive to some people.

    He is the Captain of the USS Joseph Kane, a 2015 Virginia Class, Fast Attack Nuclear Submarine. The strange force has taken the boat and all the crew back to 1942 in the middle of WWII. In fact, the Navy Command at the time, not even knowing what a nuclear submarine is, ordered him into the middle of the battles near Guadalcanal during the amphibious landings. Starting with the Battle of Savo Island which in history was a harsh loss of brave Allied sailors. What will the outcome of the new battles be and will this cause the possible paradox in time? Come with Captain Richey and the crew and travel into an Alternate History.

    It was also prophesied that this night would witness the return of Emperor Kellanved, and there are those prepared to do anything to prevent this from happening…Ian C. Esslemont co-created the world of Malaz with his friend Steven Erikson, and Esslemont’s Novels of the Malazan Empire are set in the same world as Erikson’s Malazan Book of the Fallen.Other Tor books by Ian C. EsslemontPath to Ascendancy Dancer’s Lament Deadhouse Landing Other books in the world of Malaz by Steven Erikson Malazan Book of the Fallen Gardens of the Moon Deadhouse Gates Memories of Ice House of Chains Midnight Tides The Bonehunters Reaper’s Gale Toll the Hounds Dust of Dreams The Crippled God The Kharkanas Trilogy Forge of Darkness Fall of Light Walk in Shadow* At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

    In this mock autobiographical collection his mischievous drawings capture life's anxieties and ambitions from the mundane to the surreal. Here, at last, is The Truth about beer, doctors, shadow puppets, lunch, dolphins, boredom, and supernatural forces. Seductively strange and addictively amusing, this edgy little book welcomes the uninitiated and rewards the faithful.

    The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.