Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    But his deductive abilities will be put to the test when he’s called on to detect philatelic forgeries at Thwaites, one of the city’s great auction houses. The recently knighted cat also finds time to coach a croquet team, oversee rehearsals of a sequel to Cats, and help deliver a baby. Not to be outdone by cheesy actors or blundering attorneys, he makes his film debut and testifies in a criminal trial at the Old Bailey. But he has a special place in his heart for St. James’s Palace, the address he longs to call home. This delightful sequel to James the Connoisseur will prove irresistible catnip for feline lovers.

    Love is Blind is a gripping wartime saga from much-loved author Anne Baker, which follows a family's path through heartache and war. Perfect for fans of Katie Flynn and Sheila Newberry.Patsy Rushton's brother Barney doesn't know the meaning of hard work, so when their father tragically dies, Patsy has no choice but to save the family's business. Meanwhile, Barney has got his girlfriend pregnant and, feeling trapped, he abandons her and leaves Merseyside altogether. But trouble follows Barney wherever he goes and when he learns of his sister's growing success, he can't help feeling resentful. Why is their mother, Beatrice, so quick to forgive him? Surely, she can't be blind to his faults? As Patsy is to discover, there's something else about Barney that is frightening her mother so much she has never dared to speak of it before. What readers are saying about Love is Blind 'Very good, easy read. The twists and turns in the plot kept the intrigue alive. I would recommend to anyone''Engaging characters and a gripping war time story. A good insight into life during the war. Can't wait to read another of Anne Baker's books'

    But alas! He has no money to do so! Will Deepu end up disappointing his brother? Find out in The Fancy Dress.• Suppandi’s employer rewards him for his honesty when he returns the five rupee note he found. But what will happen when Suppandi continues this honest behaviors? Get ready to laugh with The Adventures of Suppandi: Self Help.• Being around people who love to boast about themselves can be annoying. But what do you do when you’re forced to travel with one of them? Find out what a man does when he is repeatedly slighted by the Proud Man in the Train.• Hodja’s friend just wants some peace and quiet to meditate. But the fascinated villagers won’t let him be! What clever scheme will Hodja come up with to help his friend in Money Power?

    While his courtiers were jealous of Birbal, the emperor was quick to notice his agile mind. While the two men loathed hypocrisy and deceit; they also relished a good joke.

    But the old physician from whom they bought a practice stands in her way and refuses to honor the contract. Audrey must either give up medicine and return to her family, or marry a near stranger. A gunshot wound robs Nathan Maxwell of the ability to continue practicing medicine. He must find another purpose in his life. Audrey is desperate, but marriage to Nathan isn't the salvation of her medical career she thought it would be. For Nathan, the union challenges loyalties and exposes what he's lost.

    For Tiana, life is one challenge after another, but her greatest struggle is sharing a face with the sister she despises. Tired of living in the shadows, she comes up with a plan to finally have everything she ever wanted. Everything seems to come easy for Briana, including her beautiful children, loving husband and dynamic career. Briana's charmed life is ripped apart when she wakes up in the hospital with no idea who she is and no memory of her former life. With the help of the handsome stranger who saved her, Briana builds a new life and finds new love, while Tiana won't rest until Briana has no life at all.

    Rosie is having a difficult pregnancy, while Johnny has fallen and fractured his skull on a trip to Orkney with the Home Guard. Meanwhile, Ann Neill is looking forward to meeting Greg again when he gets a much-needed break from his work at Bletchley Park, but she soon realizes that they are drifting apart. When the war finally ends, Danny Ryan does not return, although they think they see him on a cinema newsreel one day...and when Granddad becomes ill they are in crisis once again.

    When their mum is diagnosed with cancer and their dad fails to step up, they're forced to move into the care system. But Sophie knows they'll be okay as long as she's there to protect her sister.ONE FINAL CHANCE.But when Kelsey is found a foster family and Sophie can't join her, Sophie's left in an unsafe situation in the home, forced to do things against her will. Finding her own foster family feels like a relief, but it's short lived when her trust in her new foster parents is betrayed.NO GOING BACK.With nowhere to turn, Sophie finds herself homeless. But when she finds her new street family, Sophie joins the working girls and her new identity as Sapphire is complete. It's a hard life working the streets, especially when those around her look to take advantage, but can the dream of one day finding Kelsey keep her going?

     Anna Davis and Freddie Tyler are finally getting their lives back on track when an unexpected face turns up on Freddie’s doorstep. Someone from the past. And she delivers a blow that will tear their lives apart. Reeling from the news, Anna throws herself into her work. Her clubs are doing well and she’s opening a new business venture with best friend, Tanya. But she’s worried that her relationship with Freddie could be about to fall apart. Freddie’s got big problems with the business. A new gang is in town, and they’re muscling in on Tyler turf and need to be dealt with. Plus, he’s still being closely watched by a Met detective determined to bring him down. As Freddie plots to take out his rivals, tensions between him and Anna grow. Could this spell the end of their relationship? And will the rogue detective finally get the chance to arrest Freddie – burning the empire he’s built from scratch to the ground?

    Their first day out reveals how wrong he is and the perilous dangers of the Santa Fe Trail.It would have been a massacre but for Trent and Pat MacLeod.Trent favors a Sharps .50 caliber buffalo rifle, while his younger brother Pat packs two Texas Navy Colts. They both prove deadly and a force to be reckoned with.The Cowans and the McLeod brothers’ forge a bond those first few days, sustained in part by Trent’s attraction to the eighteen-year-old Becky Cowan. His overtures are not returned.The brothers join the Cowans on their hazardous journey west as they face harsh conditions, bandits and Indian attacks. Will their oxen survive the trip? Will the man Bruce Cowan is fleeing catch up with them? Should they take the Cimarron Cutoff through the desert or stick with the Santa Fe Trail through the mountains?Even with the help of Trent and Pat, the Cowans are forced to learn quickly to survive the rigorous demands of the Wild West.

    But how do the citizens really feel about a system where they are powerless? America Jara and Bennett Beeny grow up as best friends, living a fairly trouble-free life in a dangerous city… bar the odd encounter with a Judge. Time draws them apart, and when they are brought back together, Beeny is a successful singer and America has become involved with a terrorist organisation – with the Judges in its sights! Written by John Wagner (A History of Violence) with art by Colin MacNeil (Judge Dredd: The Chief Judge’s Man) this dark and complex tale is a true 2000 AD classic!

    Pearla is a born hustler, and Cash was born to steal. Pearla sets her sights on Cash and motivates him to take his petty crimes to the next level.Together, the two get money throughout the tri-state, while friends and family want to be upgraded without putting in work. At first, the couple makes it rain in the hood, taking care of those they love, but a hustler always knows when to draw the line.Suddenly, Pearla proclaims the ATM closed, and a quiet storm begins to brew. When the beggars can't beg anymore and the borrowers can't borrow anymore, friends become enemies. Words and bullets are exchanged, leaving The House that Hustle Built under attack and at risk of collapse.

    Now, the Master of Horror takes us into his Bestiary for an anthology series—free of continuity, but full of shocking consequences. WHY YOU’LL LOVE IT: HELLRAISER: BESTIARY will pick up where classic horror comics anthologies like Tales From The Crypt, Vault of Horror, and the more recent Flinch left off. And not only will some of comics’ rising stars, such as Ed Brisson (Sheltered), and Michael Moreci (CURSE), get a chance to open the puzzle box in this series, but the first issue features the comics debut of award-winning novelist Victor LaValle (The Devil in Silver, Big Machine). WHAT IT’S ABOUT: Step into the Bestiary for all-new tales of the LeMarchand Device and its guardians! This first issue contains the start of a six-part serial written by Mark Miller (CLIVE BARKER’S NEXT TESTAMENT) and Ben Meares (HELLRAISER ANNUAL 2013), and drawn by Carlos Magno (DEATHMATCH), where a group of mercenaries are hired to steal Pinhead’s pins. Also, superstar author Victor LaValle teams with artist Colin Lorimer (CURSE) to tell a story set on the outskirts of New York City, as a close-knit community is torn apart by the presence of the puzzle box.

    To her astonishment she finds she enjoys the role, but unfortunately finds herself attracted to the haughty young earl. He too struggles with an attraction to his beautiful new maid, but has his mind set on pursuing a courtship with the much more appropriate Lady Claire. Who is Emily? Why is she hiding in the Earl's household? Can a case of mistaken identity lead to true love?