But even he, with his penchant for fishnet stockings and stiletto heels, is stunned by the antics of his guests - to say nothing of the Butler who invented the ultimate sex machine.The author also wrote "Iron Maiden".

    He can't deny it. But in what form will the pressure erupt? Cooper Chain isn't just down on his luck -- he's almost down for the count. The mob wants a piece of him, and he sees no way out. It's a special week for Willow Ball, a woman who's survived her own tribulations to reach this milestone in her life. Through fate -- or a temporary misalignment of the stars -- Willow and Cooper cross paths for the first time since college. Will an unexpected spark re-ignite the flame? A shattering discovery changes everything for Willow and Cooper. The murder is unlike any other. But what will the cops do about it? Attacks ensure, chaos ruptures a family . . . Through it all, how can Willow and Cooper find the killer? But it's not over. As the bodies pile up, a pattern develops and it rocks Willow and Cooper to the core. And then someone emerges after a three-decade disappearance. Could he be connected to this string of murders? The past might provide the breadcrumbs to end this nightmare. But Willow and Cooper may not live long enough to see it through. Will mercy save a life or end many?

    We Are Gonks, a proud and noble tribe. We have our own rules, our own honour, our own song that no-one can remember the words to. They can't boss us around like that"Fifteen-year-old Morag Narmo really doesn't want to go to school any more. She and her siblings would rather feed their heads into the waste-disposal than "do the academical" . So they are all stunned when their parents whisk them out of school and embark on a home-schooling experiment. But with five children, two unruly pets and some extremely eccentric attitudes, the educational experiment soon descends into chaos...Witty, razor-sharp and laugh-out-loud funny, The Chronicles of Narmo shows us how before Caitlin Moran knew How to be a Woman, she had to find out How to be A Girl.

    With all those out-of-work teenagers on the nearby council estate hanging around, stealing, joy-riding and goodness knows what else, it was just as well that Paul Mathieson was setting up a Neighbourhood Watch scheme.Not that the inhabitants of the Close did not have their own little activities, of course, but these were hardly the same thing...If Jenny and Alan's daughter was caught travelling on the underground without a ticket, and their son was doing a little experimenting with certain substances, and Laura didn't see the need to declare her earnings from hiring out her house to a film crew, and Jenny drove home only just over the legal limit - well, these were quite different matters, not to be compared with what went on in the Estate.And then there was Jenny's discovery, when she advertised flute lessons, that she could work up quite a nice little earner in a rather unexpected way...As the leafy London street resounded to the efforts of its citizens to keep crime at bay, Jenny realised that it was her marriage, rather than her property, that needed watching.

    Stranded together in a remote Cotswold pub while a snowstorm rages outside... let's face it, who would ever know? But Nadia's already met The One. She and Laurie have been together for years - they're practically childhood sweethearts and she still gets butterflies in her stomach at the sight of him. Okay, so maybe she doesn't see that much of him these days, but that's not Laurie's fault. She can't betray him. Besides, when you belong to a family like the Kinsellas - bewitchingly glamorous grandmother Miriam, feckless mother Leonie, stop-at-nothing sister Clare - well, someone has to exercise a bit of self-control, don't they? I mean, you wouldn't want to do something that you might later regret...

    Duncan loves Annie, but then, all of a sudden, he doesn’t. Duncan really loves Tucker Crowe, a reclusive Dylanish singer-songwriter who stopped making music ten years ago. Annie stops loving Duncan, and starts getting her own life.In doing so, she initiates an e-mail correspondence with Tucker, and a connection is forged between two lonely people who are looking for more out of what they’ve got. Tucker’s been languishing (and he’s unnervingly aware of it), living in rural Pennsylvania with what he sees as his one hope for redemption amid a life of emotional and artistic ruin—his young son, Jackson. But then there’s also the new material he’s about to release to the world: an acoustic, stripped-down version of his greatest album, Juliet—entitled, Juliet, Naked.What happens when a washed-up musician looks for another chance? And miles away, a restless, childless woman looks for a change? Juliet, Naked is a powerfully engrossing, humblingly humorous novel about music, love, loneliness, and the struggle to live up to one’s promise.

    When Nick’s charmingly erratic behavior finally became too much for Lena, the marriage and the partnership ended. But—like C. K. Dexter Haven and Tracy Lord—it seems that Lena and Nick just can’t quite separate.Lena works out fiercely, keeps her dates with the boring and conventional Preston Winter, and daily battles on against corporate greed. But Nick’s not doing so well.Still brilliant and devilishly clever, he is now also almost crazy. He is prone to fantasy and the big gesture, and he engages frantically in guerrilla activism for the sake of animals wild and domestic. Nick doesn’t make plans; he has visions. And eventually his antics put him back into Lena’s hands. While she tries to navigate the legal waters into which he’s thrown them, Nick veers out of her wake and into the midst of a strange set of companions, including Oscar, his psychiatric attendant and Action Comics collector; Ralph and Alice Wilson, the rebellious managers of the city animal shelter; and an aging Russian hound named Wolfram.Often laugh-out-loud funny, with bright wit and brilliant machine-gun dialogue, The Marriage of True Minds sweetly explores modern love, undying idealism, and one cracked partnership that can’t be sundered—from without or from within.If you like screwball comedies, like Bringing Up Baby and His Girl Friday, then you’ll love The Marriage of True Minds!

    With a new job that offers excitement; a cool car; and her own suite with a TV, DVD player, and a cell phone, how can she go wrong?Then she meets . . . the Fitzgeralds -- Dick and Vanessa and their unruly brood of rugrats who have suddenly been entrusted into Jo's care. There's eight-year-old "psycho-babe" Cassandra; bloodthirsty Zak, the six-year-old Terminator; and timid little Tallulah.So what else could go wrong? How about the arrival of Dick's children from his first marriage: teenage Toby and (gulp!) all-grown-up-and-very-nicely-at-that Josh the accountant? And now that she has to temporarily share her room with Josh, Jo's head is really in a spin -- because with her hometown beau still in the picture and a sexy possibility sleeping just a foot away, life has suddenly gotten very complicated indeed!

    Name: Elizabeth Bennet. Mission: To marry both prudently and for love. How? It's entirely up to the reader. The journey begins in Pride and Prejudice but quickly takes off on a whimsical Austen adventure of the reader's own creation. A series of choices leads the reader into the plots and romances of Austen's other works. Choosing to walk home from Netherfield Hall means falling into Sense and Sensibility and the infatuating spell of Mr. Willoughby. Accepting an invitation to Bath leads to Northanger Abbey and the beguiling Henry Tilney. And just where will Emma's Mr. Knightley fit in to the quest for a worthy husband? It's all up to the reader. A labyrinth of love and lies, scandals and scoundrels, misfortunes and marriages, Lost in Austen will delight and challenge any Austen lover.

    Hastings is so uncool. Plunging headfirst into the choppy waters of adolescence, they are determined to survive their teens by sticking together. It's a rollercoaster ride of nutty parents, randy language students, stoned hippies, all-night parties on the pier, and an amusement arcade of emotional neediness.

    He’s in Goa, dreaming of the passport-thief who stole his heart (and his passport) forty-six years ago. Back then, fate kept bringing them together, but lately it seems to have given up.Jan has not. In his long search he has accidentally held a whole town at imaginary gunpoint in Soviet Russia, stalked the proprietors of an international illegal lamp-trafficking scam and done his very best to avoid any kind of work involving the packing of fish. Now he thinks if he just waits, if he just does nothing at all, maybe fate will find it easier to reunite them.His story spans fifty-four years, ten countries, two imperfect criminals (and one rather perfect one), twenty-two different animals and an annoying teenager who just…His story spans fifty-four years, ten countries, two imperfect criminals (and one rather perfect one), twenty-two different animals and an annoying teenager who just…Will…Not…Leave.But maybe an annoying teenager is exactly what Jan needs to help him find the missing thief?Featuring a menagerie of creatures, each with its own story to tell, We Are Animals is a quirky, heart-warming tale of lost love, unlikely friendships and the certainty of fate (or lack thereof). For the first time in her life the cow noticed the sun setting, and it was glorious.

    In this first volume of his misadventures, Gussett sets his sights on the most prestigious prize in golf, the petrified middle finger of St. Andrew, patron saint of Scotland. Presiding over the world's most cantankerous golf club, Gussett must motivate his members through battles with incontinence, single malt Scotch, and a litany of other unmentionable afflictions in a friendly competition with their ancient rivals, the notorious McGregor clan. Anyone who loves the game or knows someone who does will be unable to resist Feherty's hilarious storytelling and golfing gravitas.

    Great job, really good hair, loyal friends, loving family. It’s only her succession of lame duck boyfriends that ruin the picture.Oh, and the world-famous rock-star father she’s never met, who won’t even acknowledge her existence.Then Ellie’s perfect life is smashed to pieces when her secret is sold to the highest bidder and her name, face (and pictures of her bottom) are splashed across the tabloids. Suddenly everyone thinks she’s a gold-digging, sex-crazy, famewhore.Enter David Gold. Charming and handsome David Gold. On paper he’s even more perfect than Ellie, if only he wasn’t her father’s ruthlessly ambitious lawyer whose job is to manage the crisis – and her. He certainly doesn’t think that Ellie’s the innocent party and she doesn’t trust him at all. So why is it that every time they’re alone together, damage limitation is the last thing on their minds?

    Who is the mysterious man in the brown suit? What does he want from her? Is there any wine in the fridge?As her life descends into chaos, Kelly’s questions lead her along a twisting path towards the truth — a truth she could never have imagined.

    It has been twenty-five years since John Lennon walked out of the Parlophone studios, taking George and Ringo with him. Paul, American-speaking and -acting, has become the world-famous Las Vegas entertainer Paul Montana, and he's visiting Liverpool for the first time since 1962, hoping to reunite with his boyhood chums, the once "hottest little quartet—in Liverpool." Father George, now a Jesuit priest, is recovering from a nervous breakdown; John is embittered, alcoholic, unemployed, and on the dole. His wife has left him, and young Julian has joined the fascist National Front. Ringo lives on the earnings of his entrepreneurial hairdressing wife while he and John sit in weekends with old rivals, Gerry and the Pacemakers. It is Lennon's curse that he can imagine what might have been. Liverpool Fantasy is a blackly comic meditation on the enduring hazards of friendship, the alchemy of collaboration, and what a world without the Beatles—that is, without idealism—looks like.