“You’re about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat’s butt.” Keep this book handy, someday you’ll be glad you have it. “Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you just be yourself.” Pick any of the many jaw-dropping insults then laugh at the look on your adversary’s face when you whip one out and use it on them. You’ll leave no doubt in their mind that you are a master of sarcastic insults! ADDED BONUS: In addition to the fresh and hilarious insults in this book, you’ll also find great sarcastic observations about life hidden inside this book’s pages, like… “I think the reason so many people have smart phones is because opposites attract!” You’re no idiot, so you need this book to start your new life as the master of sarcastic insults and put-downs! “Hey! Who left the Idiot Box open? Now they're everywhere!”

    The Funniest Text Message Autocorrects, Wrong Numbers & Mishaps on Smartphones!

    James Bond isn't a secret agent. The funny bone isn't a bone. E-readers like the Kindle were invented in 1949. Slavery has never been more common as it is today. Neanderthals were extremely smart and were able to speak. Vikings invented rap battles. Natural oranges aren't orange. Rats didn't cause the Black Death. Halitosis doesn't exist. Buddhists don't worship Buddha. Everyone mispronounces "Nutella." St. Patrick wasn't Irish. There has never been 50 states in the United States. Selfies aren't a recent fad. They have existed since 1839. Guardian angels aren't mentioned in the Bible. A comatose person can speak and walk around. Nicotine doesn't cause cancer.

    

    As you identify your tribe and divinely align in time with God's calendar, you will discover how to find your position in God's Kingdom, how to war effectively for your inheritance, and then walk in His blessings.A Time to Advance: Understanding the Significance of the Hebrew Tribes and Months will help you understand how God is developing His whole conquering army for today. You will also understand how each part moves together, and the redemptive quality of God's covenant plan for Israel. This will help ground you on how we are grafted into a movement in days ahead.As you learn how to think like God thinks and study the Hebrew tribes and months, you will receive prophetic understanding of how the Lord orders your steps throughout the year. You will also see your place in God's next Triumphant Reserve that is rising in the Earth today!

    

    Norman Baker said that about his autobiography. Why? He was a jackass. In the pages of this book meet 20 losers, killers, confidence tricksters, and incompetents - the Jackasses of History. For adult readers.

    Read on your PC, Mac, smart phone, tablet or Kindle device. If You Don't Have Kindle You Can Still Read This Book On Your Web Browser using Amazon Free Cloud ReaderThis book contains proven steps and strategies on how to pronounce French vowels and consonants, how to pluralize nouns, and how to get around your way in France, using all the helpful examples of phrases and dialogues provided in this book.Through this manual you will learn the basics of the romantic French language and gain confidence as you speak. To facilitate learning, easy-to-follow pronunciation guides have been included. Tips for tourists and other pertinent information about the City of Lights were extensively researched for your convenience. Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn Inside ✔ Numbers and Gender✔ Plural Forms of Nouns✔ Pronouns✔ Verbs✔ Prepositions✔ Useful Expressions✔ Much, much more! Take Action Right Away and START your amazing journey with French!

    Covering Sid's early years in South Africa and life as a ladies' hairdresser, his obsession with gambling and women, his questioning by Scotland Yard in a murder case, Hancock's Half Hour and the Carry On films, and Sid's death on stage at the age of 63, Cliff Goodwin reveals the amazing truth behing the legend.

    

    Seeing an elderly woman crushed to death under a baby grand piano is not the best start to anyone’s day, and Max Dempsey’s is about to get a whole lot worse.When sacked bank manager turned bank robber Max Dempsey (aka Simon Golightly) finds himself deep in debt to dodgy undertaker Danny Bishop, he’s prepared to do almost anything to pay it off and keep all of his fingers.But he’s likely to lose a lot more than his fingers when he agrees to do a “little job” for Danny and unintentionally crosses psychopathic Greek gangster, Nikos Spiropoulos.Meanwhile, Bernard Pemberton and his granddaughter Tess are on a road trip to scatter their beloved Dottie’s ashes on a Scottish hilltop, but is it really her ashes in the cremation urn or something else altogether?Cremains is a crime caper that twists and turns its way towards a conclusion that even Max himself couldn’t have predicted.

     Buddhism is an agnostic religion. It neither acknowledges the existence of a god nor denies it. It simply teaches that we must live by a moral code because it is our nature to do so, regardless of whether a god exists or not. To choose good in the hopes of reward, while avoiding evil out of fear of punishment, is not true goodness. It is sheer hypocrisy — a selfish desire to do something in return for our own benefit. To understand the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path, we first have to understand the word “dukkha.” This is often mistranslated into English as “suffering,” giving people the idea that Buddhism is a pessimistic religion. Nothing can possibly be further from the truth. While dukkha can certainly be understood to mean “suffering,” it would be more accurate to translate this word as “anxiety,” “stress,” or “dissatisfaction.” This book endeavors to explain the Buddha’s perspective on dukkha, and how one can live in spite of it, even striving to move beyond it. If you’re ready to learn more about dukkha and the path to liberation, let’s get started! Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn... About Buddhist Diversity Understanding Dukkha The Four Noble Truths The Eightfold Path Panna – Wisdom Śila – Ethical Conduct Samādhi – Concentration Nibbāna – Blown Out Much, much more! Download your copy today! Tags: eight-fold path, nirvana, the four noble truths and the eightfold path, four noble truths and eightfold path, buddhism, buddhist, theraveda buddhism, Eightfold Path, four noble truths, nibbana, eightfold path of buddhism, the eightfold path, noble eightfold path, eight fold path

    I just want to be known as a clown because to me that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything-sing, dance, and above all, make people laugh.” – Red Skelton “All I want to do is to make people laugh, to take the word ‘heartache’ out of their vocabulary” – Red Skelton A lot of ink has been spilled covering the lives of history’s most influential figures, but how much of the forest is lost for the trees? In Charles River Editors’ American Legends series, readers can get caught up to speed on the lives of America’s most important men and women in the time it takes to finish a commute, while learning interesting facts long forgotten or never known. Among radio personalities and television entertainers, almost nobody had a career as long or storied as Red Skelton, one of America’s foremost comedians during the 20th century. Over the course of 70 years, Skelton made crowds laugh from vaudeville to performing as a clown, and while he is best known for The Red Skelton Show and his other variety shows, he also managed a 45 year stage career, as a pantomime or one of the other characters he created over the years. Although Skelton was extremely popular in America at the peak of his career, his entertainment was also a throwback to the early 20th century, which compelled television studios to balk at the notion of continuing to air his shows by 1970, even though his shows had spent almost two straight decades with Top 10 ratings on the air. Understandably bitter, Skelton refused to have his shows in syndication until the 1980s, and by then, the same concerns about his appeal to younger crowds had only gotten worse as he and his show had aged. Skelton is still best remembered for his performances and his television career, but he was also a noted artist who fittingly excelled at depicting clowns on canvas. Despite the seemingly silly content of his work, Skelton’s skills as an artist were so impressive that he made millions of dollars a year selling his art and having it displayed. By the time he died in 1997, it’s estimated that he may have made more money through art than through performing. American Legends: The Life of Red Skelton chronicles the life and career of one of America’s most beloved comedians. Along with pictures of important people, places, and events, you will learn about Red Skelton like never before, in no time at all.

    Confident America has been conquered, Satan prepares to initiate the final stage of his master plan, but it requires a willing partner—will she say yes?Convinced his demon general Lord Nefarious has successfully conquered America, Satan himself now decides it’s time for him to step out of the shadows and complete his master plan. But for it to succeed, he must find a willing partner… On the run, frightened, and alone, Rae is cornered one fateful night in a rundown motel room by the devil himself. He has a once-in-eternity offer for her—the chance to change the world forever. But to convince her to freely accept it, Satan needs to connect with Rae’s past, present, and future to prove to her he can be trusted after all. A showdown for the ages is officially on, and humanity hangs in the balance.

    Dumb crooks, celebrities gone bad, unsolved mysteries, odd laws, and more—Strange Crime has plenty of stories that will make you ask yourself, “What could they possibly have been thinking?” This easily portable paperback book is ideal for readers on the go. Take it to school, to work, to jury duty!