Why bother, when there are a thousand reasons why it will never be worth it. But there are more surprises in store for Jane this year, and one of them--a surprisingly cute one of them--lives right next door.

    During kindergarten recess, one accidentally hitches a ride out of town on a boxcar. One winds up trapped in the breadbox outside the deli. One offers to escort a Salvation Army man to his destination - and accidentally bumps him from his horse-drawn wagon.

    The new nation of Turtalia is caught in a death struggle with the evil Doradan state. Warfare has spread to San Francisco, where a determined band of guerillas is holding out in the hills watching the destruction of this once beautiful city. You?re at an altitude of two thousand feet, scanning the horizon with computer-enhanced binoculars. You?re in constant contact with the forces on the ground led by Captain Ricardo and the ranger lieutenant who had spoken earlier at the meeting with Sellers, the guerrilla leader. Suddenly, clouds envelop your helicopter and the radio is knocked out. The clouds contain a choking, blinding gas. You and your pilot reach for the oxygen equipment, but the pilot slumps forward and stops breathing. A crimson circle appears on his uniform over his heart. He's dead! If you decide to bail out, turn to page 80. If you decided to try and land the helicopter yourself, turn to page 16. YOU choose what happens next!

    School is for dogs, his mama tells him. It's where they go to get trained. But nothing can stop Skippy-once inside his closet, he finds himself on the playground of his imagination, surrounded by dogs of all kinds. He bays with the beagles, learns French with the poodles, and checks out a Chihuahua book from the library. And when a bully starts sending shiver-itos down the spines of the little yippers, Skippy saves the day and earns the biggest gold star.

    Tom knows that there is only one thing to do: Zap the fish with a battery and bring him back to life! But there's something weird about the new Frankie. He's now a BIG FAT ZOMBIE GOLDFISH with hypnotic powers . . . and he's out for revenge!

    They must keep the hatchling safe from the villainous Saint George, who has kept himself alive over centuries by drinking dragons' blood.

    (Brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.)"[A] funny and clever little book... I like this version even better than the original story."Chytach18, Reviewer for OnlineBookClub.org"An amazing story, and hilariously funny to boot, perfect for kids and adults alike!"Angela, Amazon UK reader"It made me laugh. Grossed me out. Then makes you laugh some more."Thelma Coots, Amazon reader"One word : FUNNY! A new way of reading Snow White"Isienie V., Amazon reader*****Take your expectations for a fairy tale and throw them out the window! A noble prince? Lame. A humble princess? What a loser! A happy ending? You wish. This eBook is way better than all that. It will make you giggle, laugh, and ask for more. Either that, or it will make you scream for it all to stop. The only way to know is to read it. Download "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" now!The Funny Stories for Kids series, written/recorded by Dr. Dexter Dweezel and Professor Parnassus Pallie, is an ongoing effort to make fairy tales less crappy. "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" is the first in this series, with more to come.**Note: This story is not for babies. It can be crude, and has jokes about butts, poo, and drunk people. It also has a bit of cartoony violence. There is no swearing or sexual activity. If this story had a MPGG rating it would probably be PG, and would be comparable to a modern episode of the Simpsons.**

    Mercer Mayer's famous Little Critter works hard to do it right in this funny picture book. Little Critter has a mountain of tub toys to remember, stuffed animals to line up so they can watch, bubble bath to pour, a floor to flood, and so much more. What will Little Critter find at the end of his huge effort? A dry and cozy finale.

    Our favorite groovy blue cat puts on his bunny ears and finds a way to collect, paint, and hide the eggs all in time for Easter.Pete the Cat: Big Easter Adventure will be a welcome gift in an Easter basket or anytime!

    We've got a brand-new one in Peanuts: Where Beagles Dare!, and it comes out just in time for The Peanuts Movie! What It Is: Snoopy, the World War I Flying Ace, is on holiday in France but his leave is cut short when he's recruited for a top-secret mission. Snoopy must dodge his way through no-man's land, go deep behind enemy territory, and battle the Red Baron in the blackened skies above. Will Snoopy ever return home to quaff a few Root Beers with Woodstock and have dinner with Charlie Brown? Find out in this original graphic novel featuring Charles M. Schulz's beloved Peanuts characters and starring Snoopy!

    A conspiracy is afoot--one with dire implications for both supernaturals and humans. Sophronia must rely on her training to discover who is behind the dangerous plot-and survive the London Season with a full dance card.In this sequel to New York Times bestselling Etiquette & Espionage, class is back in session with more petticoats and poison, tea trays and treason. Gail's distinctive voice, signature humor, and lush steampunk setting are sure to be the height of fashion this season.

    Imogene Lavender, her daughter, Jeanette, and her niece wage their individual battles with grief and find the answer to many of life's questions deep in the red-clay dirt of Euharlee, Georgia.

    But Stan isn't really a student and his unhygenic habit may be the key to saving the world. By Gordan Korman: a man recently returned from the far reaches of OUTER SPACE!

    When Pete's friends don't want to play the same games as he does, Pete has a great idea—he'll build a robot that's just like him! But when Robo-Pete gets a little out of control, Pete realizes the best thing about his friends is that no matter what they like to play, it's always fun when they're all together.This Pete the Cat 8x8 storybook by New York Times bestselling artist James Dean comes complete with stickers!

    The three Green children are cared for by a nanny pig. Yes, a pig--a fabulously sassy and impeccably dressed pig, as a matter of fact! With her insatiable urge to eat chocolate (and feed chocolate to everyone she loves), her high-flying spirit, and her unending sense of fun, Nanny Piggins takes Derrick, Samantha, and Michael on a year of surprises, yummy treats, and adventures they'll never forget. It's no surprise that Booklist proclaimed, "Mary Poppins, move over--or get shoved out of the way." Nanny Piggins is a refreshing and dynamic addition to favorite classic nannies: Amelia Bedelia, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, and, of course, Mary Poppins. Read more books in the series: Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan and Nanny Piggins and the Runaway Lion.