Stuck at a boring family party, on an awkward date, in a below-par job interview, or any number of other situations in which conversation has become more of a trickle than a flow. Well, fear the excruciation no more, as Richard Herring's Emergency Questions is about to change your life. Containing 1,000 conversation starters from one of our most cherished comedians, along with plenty of answers from the many household names who've appeared on his hundreds of podcasts, this book is virtually guaranteed to remove any social anxiety from your life, and will raise your repartee-game to new heights.

    Dale Comstock is a Delta Force Operator - a member of America's secret army; the most enigmatic and combat tested elite counter-terrorism unit in the world. In his action packed story we journey with him from boyhood to manhood into a world of extreme violence where he learns the values of hard work, sacrifice, and love of family. As he succeeds and fails as a Delta Force Operator, Green Beret, husband and father, he elevates the meaning of being an American to being an American Badass.

    And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    Their destination was the Eden Valley, and a small stock-rearing and dairy farm called Rowfoot. There they have spent the last 20 years getting to grips with the practice of running a working farm, keeping sheep, cattle, pigs, and horses, becoming part of the community, and coping with the ups and downs of farming life.

    This teenage criminal enterprise ultimately shipped hundreds of thousands of OxyContins and other prescription painkillers throughout the country, making millions in the process.This true crime memoir details the three-year-long rise and collapse of the Barabas Criminal Enterprise, an opiod-pill trafficking ring founded by Douglas Dodd and his best friend on the wrestling team, Lance Barabas. Raised by an alcoholic mother and surrounded by drug-abusing relatives, Dodd got involved in narcotics at an early age. Their scheme to sell the drugs he was already consuming coincided with the explosion of prescription addicts who were traveling the “Oxy Express” to Florida for easy access to the pills they dubbed “hillbilly heroin.” Soon they were shipping forty thousand pills a month, with tens of thousands of dollars returning in hollowed-out teddy bears.In Generation Oxy, Dodd recounts his time as a wannabe Scarface: bottle service at clubs, an arsenal of weapons that would make Dillinger blush, narrow escapes from the law, hordes of young women, and as many pills as he could swallow. And this was all before he was legally able to drink a beer, while still living with his grandmother. The good times came to an end when the DEA closed in and the twenty-year-old Dodd faced life in federal prison.

    In the manner of the author's William Hill-shortlisted The Far Corner, Slipless in Settle mixes travelogue and sports history with witty match reports, observations on spectators, reminiscences of the author’s own low-grade playing career, and whole heap of pastry-based snacks.

    The desert proved a real test of generalship, pitting Germany's Erwin Rommel against Britain's Bernard Montgomery and America's George Patton. Here, from award-winning military historian Stephen W. Sears, is the dramatic story of the generals, politicians, and soldiers who changed the course of the war.

    Kirkland is a master at finding the small hidden bits of humor in events that the rest of us might just as easily overlook. His goal with his writing has always been to let his readers laugh with him and at him, and by doing so, finding a way to laugh at themselves. His previous books have been called "a must-have for all of us who love to just sit back and laugh." This book follows that tradition.Recipient of the 2006 Stephen Leacock Award of Merit for Humour (Canada.)

    Don’t worry: Crazy U is not one of those books. It is instead a disarmingly candid and hilariously subversive chronicle of the journey that millions of parents and their children undertake each year—a journey through the surreal rituals of college admissions. It’s a rollicking ride from the man Christopher Buckley has called “my all-time favorite writer.” Pummeled by peers, creeped out by counselors, and addled by advice books, Andrew Ferguson has come to believe that a single misstep could cost his son a shot at a happy and fulfilling future. He feels the pressure to get it right from the moment the first color brochures land in his mailbox, sent from colleges soliciting customers as though they were sailors come to port. First is a visit with the most sought-after, most expensive—and surely most intimidating—private college consultant in the nation. Then come the steps familiar to parents and their college-bound children, seen through a gimlet eye: a session with a distracted high school counselor, preparations for the SAT and an immersion in its mysteries, unhelpful help from essay coaches and admissions directors, endless campus tours, and finally, as spring arrives, the waiting, waiting, waiting for the envelope that bears news of the future. Meanwhile, Ferguson passes on the tips he’s picked up during their crash course. (Tip number 36: Don’t apply for financial aid after midnight.) He provides a pocket history of higher education in America, recounts the college ranking wars, and casts light on the obscure and not-terribly-seemly world of higher-education marketing. And he dares to raise the question that no one (until now) has been able to answer: Why on earth does it all cost so much? Along the way, something unexpected begins to happen: a new relationship grows between father and son, built from humor, loyalty, and (yes) more than a little shared anxiety. For all its tips and trials, Crazy U is also a story about family. It turns out that the quiet boy who pretends not to be worried about college has lots to teach his father—about what matters in life, about trusting your instincts, about finding your own way. In launching his son into the world,

    From New York to Alaska, he tries to fend for himself without his trusty PA and life support, the unflappable Charmaine, for whom contentment lies in Jesus Christ and custard creams.With his blend of waspish wit and mischievous charm, Steward seeks out normal Americans, such as Joe le Taxi, the former NYPD officer who was one of the first on the scene at the Twin Towers and now runs an extortionate executive taxi service; Pam and Bob, a paranoid psychiatrist and a failed actor who once saw the back of Meryl Streep s head; Taylor the Alaskan bushwhacker who was raised by wolves and revels in their scat; Jeb the Yosemite inn-sitter who lives his life at the pace of a Ford Model T; Kacey Musgraves, the controversial country music star staying at the farm in Tennessee; and Sheriff Duke of Calhoun County, South Carolina, who reintroduces Steward to the long (and armed) arm of the law.For anyone at a crossroads, contemplating a temporary or permanent career break, this affectionate travel romp is essential reading. Journeying coast-to-coast across the US with Steward might just remind you that, despite the post-Trump hysteria, there are many normal and decent Americans out there

    Written by a Telegraph and Guardian journalist and self-confessed running nut, this smartly packaged and brilliantly knowing miscellany details entertaining, real-life runners' stories (being overtaken by a kid/OAP or getting lost while training) and takes a humorous look at the mistakes runners make (wearing a brand new pair of trainers for half marathon or getting so pumped by your morning run you have arguments with everyone at work).

    But some debates can never be settled no matter how much you run up your bar tab arguing with your friends. Well, it’s time to answer your questions once and for all: • Could an average guy start in the WNBA?• Would sumo wrestlers make great NFL linemen?• How easy is it for pro athletes to get laid? • How good are pro golfers at miniature golf?• Do pro athletes really play drunk or high?• How would a fan hit against a major league pitcher?To settle more than thirty of sports’ greatest (and most ridiculous) debates, Todd Gallagher has teamed up with coaches, general managers, and athletes—including LeBron James, Mike Tyson, Dwyane Wade, Johan Santana, Eddie George, Jose Canseco, and many others. But Gallagher didn’t just ask questions. He put these debates to the test—literally. He sent an all-midget lineup up against a pro baseball team. He swam freestyle against a doggie-paddling Olympic gold medalist. He recruited America's #1 darts player to test that uncanny accuracy in beer pong. And, yes, he stuck a frying pan in tennis star Andy Roddick’s hands and went to battle.The results are hilarious and enlightening. Best of all, once you have the answers you’ll be able to shut up the next loudmouth who tries to debate you at the bar.

    It’s not a grab-the-lapel-with-your-left-hand kind of book. There are no techniques in it; it’s not an instructional text. Those books already exist, and some of the most brilliant masters of jiu-jitsu have written them. This is a book about the everyday jiu-jitsu, the lessons that we learn on and off the mat, lessons we absorb from not only our professors, but also our peers, lessons about BJJ and life.Section Titles include:Alligator Arms Cooking Your Opponent: A Recipe for Meathead Soup Jiu-Jitsu as Mistress If the Bone is Poking Through the Skin, it’s Broken Wipe your Bum Technique: The Great EqualizerAn Expensive Gi will not Improve your Jiu-Jitsu There is no Dim Mak Technique Freaks+23,000 words

    Follow the flailing escapades of maverick music manager Campbell Ouiniette at the Calgary Folk Festival, as he leaves a trail of empty liquor bottles, cigarette butts, bruised egos, and obliterated relationships behind him. His top headlining act has abandoned him for the Big Time. In a fit of self-delusion or pure genius (or perhaps a bit of both), Ouiniette devises an intricate scam, a last hurrah in an attempt to redeem himself in the eyes of his girlfriend, the music industry, and the rest of the world. He reveals his path of destruction in his own transparently self-justifying, explosive, profane words, with digressions into the Edmonton hardcore punk rock scene, the Yugoslavian Civil War, and other epicentres of chaos.

    Now, with his fiction inspiring devotees of the die around the world, Rhinehart has written The Book of the Die--a bible and manual for the dice life. Rhinehart asks: If you're bored, why not roll the dice and--whether it's a change of locale, wardrobe, or career--be liberated by chance? The Book of the Die is both an invaluable companion for anyone who has ever thought about letting chance call the shots and more than just amusing read for the curious.