All he wants is to get his leg-over occasionally with his wife, Helen, and to lose enough weight to be able to see his genitals without having to hold his stomach out of the way. So when Carol (the randy work colleague and fellow food lover) who almost seduced him the night before, turns up at his home and introduces herself to his wife, he begins to wonder whether life is playing a cruel practical joke on him. As Carol seems determined to make his life a misery for turning her down, and he's about to discover something's going horribly wrong in the trouser department too, he could very well be right. If that weren’t enough to have him reaching for the comfort food, he also has to contend with an oversexed son who's using the soapy bathroom sponge for something other than cleaning purposes. Plus a daughter who having just discovered boys has started dating a six foot ginger gorilla with huge bushy sideburns. Not forgetting his neighbour’s cat, a vengeful pigeon, a gang of feral children and a vigilante sausage dog. Lust, Lies and Lemon Drizzle: Eric Baxter's continuing struggle with life, love, and his ever expanding waistline. Sequel to the UK Amazon bestseller: Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes

    But the past is hard to escape. The 'City has always been a dangerous place to live: now it's lethal. Not only are the crime lords exploiting its lawless streets, it is also the unwitting test bed for a sinister corporate technology. As Jaz tries to find an old friend who needs him, can a new ally help? Can he even be trusted? 'Trust A Few' is the first book in 'Haruspex', a tense new, sci-fi trilogy from Fortune's Fools.

    Out of the ashes, small pockets of survivors banded together to forge new societies in the few areas not ravaged by the nuclear holocaust. One community has not only risen but thrived. Known as The Collective, they pride themselves on an orderly system of government with a functioning infrastructure. The citizenry owe their success to their founder The Number One, who presides over them with an iron fist. Life in The Collective centers on contribution and purpose. All are assigned responsibilities and if one cannot fulfill them, they are cast out. The most coveted but dangerous responsibility is that of a driver. Drivers ride the lonely and barren roads scavenging and exploring the outer reaches. Over the years only one has emerged as a legend and his name is Driver 8.

     Eve is an 18,000 word novella originally published as an ongoing story on Reddit's Writing Prompts forum by user /u/psycho_alpaca.

    56 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. This detailed literature summary also contains Topics for Discussion and a Free Quiz on The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore.

    And this time he's got a baby. William Walker loves his gorgeous wife and new son – even if he did faint at the birth. What man wouldn't, after two whole days of labour and only one small sip of (medicinal) whiskey to sustain him? But now he's a father, and a proud one at that. It's just a shame that parenthood doesn't stop him doing the wrong thing at precisely the wrong time, with comically catastrophic results for his small – and increasingly exasperated – family.This hilarious romantic comedy will have you laughing out loud as William battles everything from floods to the Machiavellian denizens of a sinister Kentish village with more than a few hints of Royston Vasey…

    Everything Mark's not, Paris is a man of the world with a thirst for adventure - even his name is better than Mark's.But after a catastrophic argument, Mark finds himself setting off alone on his voyage, instead emailing an unresponsive Paris from the road. A cocktail cruise on the Seine, mindful pastry making in Foix, a graffiti tour in Barcelona: Mark will be forced to engage with life and strangers as he never has before, with poignantly recognisable results.But questions remain: will he ever be able to have an authentic interaction? Will Paris ever reply to his emails? And crucially, will he manage to write SEO friendly copy for every place he visits?After all, it's not the destination that counts: it's the homes and experiences you encounter along the way.

     Cassie Morgan watched the world die from the comfort of her penthouse suite. She never expected her life of privilege to come to an end but, with all food gone, she has to face the survivors in the city alone. Sometimes, when the SHTF, you have to kick off your strappy sandals, let your fake tan fade, your Brazilian grow out, and become the woman you were meant to be. Rick Carter is the last of his unit to survive. To stay alive he must escape the disease infested city and head north to his prepper friend's self-sufficient farm. The last thing he needs is to rescue a woman with zero survival skills. When the apocalypse arrives, most will die, some will survive, whilst others will thrive. With most of the city dead, and no sign of rescue, Cassie and Rick have to rely on their own ingenuity to deal with the end of the world. Working together wasn’t what either had planned, but these are desperate times. Does Rick have what it takes to get them to the farm? Can Cassie rise to the challenge of survival? Will Rick have the stomach to help when he discovers Cassie's secret? 'A World Torn Down' is an epic tale of the apocalypse with a fresh take on TEOTWAWKI. Read today! Previously published as six books: 'The Road to Ruin', 'The Savage Road', 'The Outcast's Journey', 'The Path to Despair', 'The Route to Justice', and 'The Road to Redemption'. What readers say: The series gave me a very Walking Dead comic feel. I loved it, and the characters were all very well written. The detail that went into all the characters was brilliant. It was fast paced and kept you interested right to the the last sentence. I loved the strong female characters, Cassie being my absolute favourite, I love how she just gets things done and doesn't let the male characters walk over her. This series kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time I was reading. I would have to stop to go to work, and all I could think of was the book and getting back to finding out what would happen next.

    Attempting to tackle spiralling levels of crime and anti-social behaviour, the government has a new solution: to dye offenders purple.For once, even journalist Eve Baxter is shocked - she's spent years gathering the world's weird and wacky news, but has never seen anything as loopy as this. Learning of these shamed 'bruises on society', the nation is agog - and divided. There's anger and agreement, protest and debate. Oh, green and pleasant and now purple land...But still, there's a mystery to be solved: just how do the transformations to Purpleness occur? Transfixed by clues and conspiracies, Eve wonders if this could be her route into real news. And when her friends and family are affected by the Purple scheme, she begins to investigate...

    Ward, a tier-one operator turned mercenary, has just flung himself off the cargo deck of a doomed C-130. Now he’s out of the Drop Zone and evading the undead as a terrible new breed of hunter enters the Wyrd. But these new, faster predators might not be the only thing to fear in an apocalypse beset by zombies, nukes and killer A.I.’s. One of the last warriors of a collapsed government is planning on putting up some big numbers in this final, ultimate game of Survivor, until he finds a mysterious new companion... a stranger dressed in black.

    The shores and waters of the East River are the "DMQZ," the uninhabited area that separates uninfected Manhattan from the slowly dying borough of Brooklyn.Jacob Hale is a Manhattan police officer rising in the ranks of the Safe Zone military government until a bank heist gone wrong lands him on suspension and under suspicion. On a quest to clear his good name, Hale finds himself drawn into a web of conspiracy, terrorism, and revolt - and into the orbit of a mysterious woman who may be the key to it all.

    Quitting isn’t in his DNA. In 2083, Benjamin Brandt is among the millions of “slummers” who are relegated to poverty and struggle on the outskirts of society. As a minority growing up in the gritty underbelly of Cleveland’s Industrial Valley, Ben sees the way genetically designed “elites” live only from a distance: from the shadows of public spaces people like him are forbidden to use, and on TV, where he watches the enhanced athletes compete at an extraordinary level. For years, a national track championship has inspired Ben to ferociously cultivate his own talent as a runner.As Ben logs miles through the potholed, darkened streets of his community, an idea takes hold of him that could turn his highly stratified society upside down. He isn’t prepared to lead a revolution; however, he is prepared to run like a slummer with nothing to lose.

    Just as he was starting to figure out life as a college freshman, his world was suddenly shattered when a devastating illness destroyed the world he once knew and claimed the lives of everyone that mattered to him. Jacob and the other survivors of the pandemic were transported to the Palace Program. Housed in a quarantined modern facility, the Palace is a perfect community designed to protect them from the sickness that wiped out ninety-five percent of the world population. The Order, which has risen as the new ruling power, and believes the desires of the old world were responsible for its collapse. They appoint Sirus, the program director, to rehabilitate the survivors and continue with the reproduction of mankind. As the years go by and Jacob's relationships in the Palace become more complex, he slowly begins to see that the man-made utopian society is nothing close to a perfect tomorrow, but is instead an unfathomable deception.

    Award-winning author James Dashner’s The Maze Runner shows the influences of the author’s broad reading. It relates the story of the amnesiac Thomas as he is forced into the near-bucolic setting of the Glade, learns to navigate it and the labyrinthine Maze surrounding it and leads the people of the Glade from their bounded world into a broader outside world. It also presents a perspective on adolescence well worth discussing which this Analysis covers every detail that you would otherwise miss. The Maze Runner has features that recommend it for both adolescent readers and those who teach them which this Summary & Analysis helps to decipher increasing your understanding of the book more than ever. The former will find the dialogue and action engaging without neglect of character development. The latter will find a text that manages to play with the tropes of Golding’s Lord of the Flies (which Dashner reports as a direct influence on the book), offering a way to introduce that text and a venue for discussion of it. They present opportunities for readers to engage with underlying assumptions and attitudes, offering the chance for readers to understand themselves, the culture in which they live and the culture in which the writer writes which this Analysis covers. Each is a chance to better understand the world, and The Maze Runner does well to make such chances available. The book is well worth reading, both for its intended audience of young adults (inside and outside the classroom) and for a more general reading public. This Analysis of The Maze Runner fills the gap, making you understand more while enhancing your reading experience.

    Have these knots in my stomach. But drinking isn’t an option. Maa is sleeping with me. Baba in Lalitaji’s room. And she on the sofa. Want to step into the toilet, take one swig, and then go directly to sleep. How the hell will Maa know? I mean she’s sleeping like a log. No, no, shouldn’t. What if she wakes up? She’s a light sleeper, after all.11.30 pm: No wine. Or vodka. Terrible, terrible night. When will they go back to Kolkata and let me be?11.32 pm: Chhi . . .Chhi . . . How selfish am I? My parents, one with a heart condition, spent thousands on flight tickets and landed in Chennai. Why? Because they wanted to spend time with their widowed daughter. And what does the daughter want? To sneak into the toilet and take one good swig of wine. Shame on her! Okay, now I’m being over-dramatic.Meet Madhubala Ray a thirty-year-old brand-spanking-new widow in Chennai.She lives with her seventy-year-old mostly-silent MIL—whose name she can’t remember, teaches Social Science to bratty teenagers, and suddenly has a life filled with unpredictable men, catty colleagues, a bisexual best friend, and . . . heart-wrenching memories of her late husband.How does she deal with all of that?By baring it all, in her diary. Join this oddball-widow who always keeps it real as she gives an honest account of a young North Indian working woman in Chennai, who tries to survive a tragedy through wine and vodka, her quirky sense of humour, and refuses to give up on love. Despite its oddities. The question is: does she survive and find love, again?Secret Diary of an Incurable Romantic is a story that is brutally honest, funny, romantic and liberating. It’s a slice of life, you wouldn’t want to miss.