Book picks similar to
I Wore Heels to the Apocalypse by C.H. Clepitt


humor
scifi-roundtable-books
contemporary
bisexual

The Groomsman


Marcia Lynn McClure - 2018
    Although she had not had a good, solid look at him, she could sense he was very handsome. His voice alone revealed he was—the deep, rich nature of it. In truth, his voice made her feel—well, it somehow whisked her back—whisked her back four years, bathing her in memories of another supper and a voice she’d heard that night—a voice as deep and rich, as warm and wonderful as molasses taffy. “It seems we cross paths again, Miss Ambria Blanchard,” the man said. And she knew then. Ambria knew that the voice and the man were not simply similar to the voice and the man that had changed her life four years before—but that the same man himself was sitting next to her. Thinking of the worn photograph she still cached in a secret space in her wallet, Ambria turned and nearly fainted with euphoric shock when she found herself gazing into the blue, blue, bluest eyes of the most gorgeous, beefcaked, super-stud lady-killer she’d ever seen.

Mama Does Time


Deborah Sharp - 2008
    Mama's antics - especially her penchant for finding trouble - drive her daughters Mace, Maddie and Marty to distraction.One night, while settling in to look for ex-beaus on COPS, Mace gets a frantic call from her mother. This time, the trouble's for real: Mama found a body in the trunk of her vintage convertible, and the police think she's the killer. It doesn't help that the handsome detective assigned to the case seems determined to prove Mama's guilt, or that the cowboy who broke Mace's heart shows up at the local Booze 'n' Breeze in the midst of the investigation. Before their mama lands in prison - just like an embarrassing lyric from a country-western song - Mace and her sisters must find the real culprit.MAMA DOES TIME is a traditional mystery with a comedic edge: Agatha Christie meets "My Name is Earl.''Penned by a native Floridian, set in cattle-and-citrus country, the story reveals an authentic slice of the state. Everyone knows Disney World and sexy South Beach. But how many know Florida's ranches, rodeo, and Southern-fried flavor, just fifty miles from the coast?

Happy(ish)


Cara Trautman - 2013
    When she’s not covered in fake fur, she sleeps with the wrong men, avoids laundry, sets her vibrator on fire, and dodges her mother’s demanding phone calls. Surrounded by eccentric friends, an offbeat family, peculiar coworkers, and a twenty-four-year-old goldfish, Jane searches for happiness through a maze of dirty clothes and hard lessons.Happy(ish) is set in Ferndale and the metro Detroit area.

The Dysfunctional Affair


Hadena James - 2013
    The security company that she owns is being sued, her mother is coming to visit for a week, and some unpleasant realities about her "charity" work are about to surface. She thought this was as bad as it could get, but she was wrong-dead wrong. Someone believes she knows a secret - a secret worth killing for. With assassins tracking her every move, Nadine wishes the only thing she had to worry about was her mother pestering her to settle down with her suspected live-in boyfriend, Zeke, but she can't think about the future when the present might end with her death.

Fooling in Love


S.J. Crabb - 2019
    If life isn’t living up to your expectations, is it possible to stop and start again? Rachel Asquith thinks so. She escapes the city for Bluebell cottage in the tiny Hamlet of Perivale, one of those twinkling stars that fell to earth and took root. This place has it all. Beautiful beach, pretty cottage, fabulous views and a set of neighbours who take her in and make her one of their own. Then there are the men. Logan - hot, angry and intriguing. Jack - the local handyman who is extremely handy with his… um tools. Then there’s Max. The pilot/playboy who thinks life should be lived in the fast lane and does everything at supersonic speed. Rachel soon finds that choices need to be made. At some point, she needs to head home and face the mess she’s caused. At some point, she will need to choose between her new life and old, and at some point, she needs to decide if she’s just fooling in love again with the wrong person. However, the decision faces her much quicker than she thought when she needs her old life to rescue the new one. She will have to leave the place she now calls home to save it and in doing so may just lose the man she loves. Love is a complicated business – it’s just a good thing business is what she does best.

The Pleasure of My Company


Steve Martin - 2003
    After all, outside there are 8-inch-high curbs and there's always the horrible chance he might see a gas station attendant wearing a blue hat. So, except for the occasional trip to the Rite Aid to admire the California girl Zandy and to buy earplugs because they're on sale, he stays home a lot. And a good thing too, or he would have never been falsely implicated in a murder, never almost seduced Philipa, never done the impossible task of jogging around the block with Brian, never ironed his pillows, and he might never have won the Most Average American essay contest. The Pleasure of My Company is the chronicle of a modern-day neurotic yearning to break free.

Cut and Run


Ben Acker - 2020
    They steal kidneys. Like all jobs, it’s complicated. Despite being Robin Hoods of organ thievery, Abe and Samantha are just the sweetest people.Samantha, a professional con artist, uses her charms to steal kidneys from bad people and get them to good ones. Abe, Sam’s surgeon-in-crime on their illicit kidney theft operation, is using unfettered access to the human body to advance his research to cure diabetes. This gig is hell on their social lives.This hilarious and twisted Audible Original tale features just about everything you could hope for: crime, punishment, law, order, love, romance, air travel, Ed Begley Jr., and a quinceañera.

Chez Stinky


Susan C. Daffron - 2013
    She hasn't laid eyes on her great aunt Abigail since she was eight, so she’s stumped when she inherits Abgail's house in the small hamlet of Alpine Grove.Kat's uncomplicated life gets decidedly less so when she discovers the inheritance comes with some hairy conditions: four dogs and five cats that her aunt wanted her to love as her own. Of course, the house smells like a barn--with a touch of antique skunk--and, naturally, has serious roof issues. And that's before the three-legged cat gets stuck in the wall and the shower goes kablooey.When Kat meets Joel, an unemployed techie type with no love lost for his sister, Kat looks past his obvious flaws, given his timely and desirable skill set: a talent for fixing things (and his own tools).Despite out-of-control dogs, cat fights, dust dinosaurs, massive spiders and an old grizzled hippie passed out in the yard, Kat discovers the tranquility of the forests of Alpine Grove starting to seep into her soul.And why she can't she stop thinking about Joel?

Accidental Leigh


Melanie James - 2014
    She overcomes her grief by taking matters in her own hands and takes up a little romance writing to resurrect her vampire-werewolf book-boyfriend. Leigh gets more than she bargained for when she discovers that every steamy erotic scene she creates is magically reenacted by her family, friends and coworkers.In her hilarious first diary, Leigh unwittingly sets her parents up for a weekend dinner party that they will never forget. She has two weeks to find out what her new found magic is capable of. Can she prevent a wild erotic encounter that could devastate her sweet parent’s marriage? What and who else will get caught up in her magic spells?Read a story so witchingly fun, that you won’t be able to put it down and you will be eagerly awaiting the rest of the Literal Leigh Romance Diaries!

Breathers: A Zombie's Lament


S.G. Browne - 2009
    Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence. But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products, and Jerry, a twenty-one-year-old car-crash victim with an exposed brain and a penchant for Renaissance pornography. When the group meets a rogue zombie who teaches them the joys of human flesh, things start to get messy, and Andy embarks on a journey of self-discovery that will take him from his casket to the SPCA to a media-driven class-action lawsuit on behalf of the rights of zombies everywhere.Darkly funny, surprisingly touching, and gory enough to satisfy even the most discerning reader, Breathers is a romantic zombie comedy (rom-zom-com, for short) that will leave you laughing, squirming, and clamoring for more.

A Contemporary Asshat at the Court of Henry VIII


MaryJanice Davidson - 2020
    So when Lisa enrolls her in an experimental drug trial, Joan is elated. That is, until she takes the medication and falls through a time portal and finds herself at the Field of the Cloth of Gold. That’s right, Joan wakes up smack-dab in the time of Henry VIII.After realizing this isn’tthe most elaborate Renaissance festival ever, Joan accidentally spills the beans on how England and France will soon be at war. In spite of her faux pas, Joan manages to get back to present-day England, where she’s met by the scientists of the secret think tank who accidentally created the time travel portals. What’s worse? They can’t control the portals and Joan’s the only person to return.Well at least now she has a new job: time-traveler wrangler. There’s plenty of work rescuing those who go missing.But all is not as it seems. With handsome courtier Thomas Wynter by her side to help guide her through the politics of Henry VIII’s court, and good old-fashioned 21st-century know-how, Joan races against time to save the other inadvertent time travelers and catch a culprit bent on changing history.

Set My Heart to Five


Simon Stephenson - 2020
    His life is totally normal, except for one thing. He is a bot engineered with human DNA to look and act like a real person.One day at a screening of a classic movie, Jared feels a strange sensation around his eyes. Everyone knows that bots can’t feel emotions, but as the theater lights come on, Jared is almost certain he’s crying. Confused, he decides to watch more old movies to figure out what’s happening. The process leads to an emotional awakening that upends his existence. Jared, it turns out, can feel.Overcome with a full range of emotions, and facing an imminent reset, Jared heads west, determined to forge real connections. He yearns to find his mother, the programmer who created him. He dreams of writing a screenplay that will change the world. Along the way, he might even fall in love. But a bot with feelings is a dangerous proposition, and Jared’s new life could come to an end before it truly begins.Delectably entertaining and deceptively moving, Set My Heart to Five is a profound exploration of what makes us human and a love letter to outsiders everywhere.

Caught!


J.L. Merrow - 2014
    He’s taken a job teaching in a village primary school to make a fresh start, and love isn’t part of his plans. But he’s knocked for six—literally—by a chance encounter with the uncle of two of his pupils.Sean works in pest control, rides a motorbike, and lives on a council estate. On the face of it, he shouldn’t have anything in common with Robert’s bow-tie, classic-car style and posh family background. Yet Robert is helpless to resist Sean’s roguish grin, and a rocky, excruciatingly embarrassing start doesn’t keep the sparks between them from flaring.Despite Robert’s increasingly ludicrous attempts to keep his past where it belongs, his past hasn’t read the memo. And soon his secrets could be the very things that drive Sean away for good...Warning: Contains the alarming misadventures of a pest control technician, a stepsister with a truly unfortunate name, and a young man who may have more bow ties than sense.

Fat Chance


Nick Spalding - 2014
    Greg's rugby-playing days are well and truly behind him, thanks to countless pints of beer and chicken curry.When Elise, a radio DJ and Zoe's best friend, tells them about a new competition, it seems like the perfect opportunity to turn their lives around. Fat Chance will pit six hefty couples against one another to see who can collectively lose the most weight and walk away with a £50,000 prize.So begins six months of abject misery, tears, and frustration--that just might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to them--in another laugh-out-loud look at the way we live now from bestselling author Nick Spalding.

Butterfly Sisters


Jenny Hale - 2022
    So essentially, without the struggle, it never flies.”From the USA Today bestselling author of The Beach House comes a story about family bonds, second chances, and finding out who we really are. Butterfly Sisters is the perfect escape for fans of Susan Wiggs, RaeAnne Thayne, and Susan Mallery.About to land her biggest deal yet, Leigh Henderson is on her game. She’s prepared for this, and nothing can get in her way. Except Rebecca Mayer, who’d sashayed in a few weeks ago with a former client list that would fill the entire hallway to Leigh’s office if she laid it out end to end. When her boss unexpectedly offers the deal to Rebecca and tells Leigh he’s letting her go, Leigh finds herself without a job.But that’s the least of her worries. Her mother has some news that will change everything. She’s asked Leigh and her sister Meredith to meet her at the family cabin on Old Hickory Lake. Not only has Leigh been unable to pin her sister down in years, but going back to the cabin would mean dealing with the loss of her beloved grandmother and also chance running into her old flame Colton Harris, the one love she’s never been able to completely let go of.Will confronting her grief, speaking to her estranged sister, and being forced to face the love she’d left behind help Leigh to learn who she really is? A heartwarming story that will have you laughing, crying, and rushing to those you hold dear. If you loved the Christmas movies based on Jenny’s books and are looking for more feel-good, small-town romance, look no further!