There was a gross woman named Rebecca who was sunbathing all naked and she was fat. Douglas walked up to her and said, "I need to poop". "Okay, Rebecca replied, "I like poop". Douglas squatted down over the fat sunbathing lady and went poop. The poop sat there on Rebecca's boobs, looking like a weiner...."Why are we here?", Douglas cried as poop came out his weiner in a long thin strip, it was weiner-poop, which is the grossest poop of all.The peepee got on the woman's leg and she screamed, pooping out her boobs.And so when the pee got mixed with the poop it smelled like a butt.And the poop and the pee lived happily ever after.

    

    Granddaughter of a local hero, Mercy Bennington moves out of the shadow of her elder brother to become a leader of the protestors, finding the strength to confront the enemies who endanger the survival of her village and her own life. Yet the violence wreaked upon the fragile fenlands unleashes a force no one can control – flood.

     Witch World The first book in the classic Witch World saga by beloved fantasy and science fiction author Andre Norton. Simon Tregarth, a man on the run, escapes from our world into another, where magic still has power. He finds new purpose in the service of Estcarp, whose witches use their ancient knowledge of magic to protect their home. But a new threat is rising: the mysterious Kolder, who possess powers and technology unlike anything known in the Witch World. It will take Simon and the forces of Estcarp all their might, their courage, and their magic to drive back the insurmountable enemy. Web of the Witch World Fantasy and science fiction Grand Master Andre Norton’s Witch World saga continues in Web of the Witch World. After repulsing the Kolder, the land of Estcarp is safe, until a sudden disappearance sends Simon Tregarth and his allies on a quest to stop an enigmatic new danger. Though the Kolder were defeated before, they rise again with a vengeance, and their plot is even more sinister than before. From Karsten in the south to the swamps of Tor to the Kolder’s impenetrable stronghold and beyond, Simon must fight to stop the invaders of his adopted home once and for all. Year of the Unicorn Year Of the Unicorn returns to Andre Norton’s Witch World with a tale of adventure and magic. The orphan Gillan grew up in an abbey in High Hallack, always knowing she was different and never feeling at home. When the lords of High Hallack pledge twelve brides to the Were Riders in exchange for their protection, Gillan is faced with an opportunity few would consider: to take the place of one of the twelve chosen women and go off to parts unknown to marry one of these strange wild men. But Gillan leaps at the chance to leave the only home she has ever known in the hopes of finding something she was meant to do. And her rare gift to see through illusions that fool others will prove vital in a journey where nothing is as it seems.

    Here are some of the remarkable features of Barnes & Noble ClassicsNew introductions commissioned from today's top writers and scholarsBiographies of the authorsChronologies of contemporary historical, biographical, and cultural eventsFootnotes and endnotesSelective discussions of imitations, parodies, poems, books, plays, paintings, operas, statuary, and films inspired by the workComments by other famous authorsStudy questions to challenge the reader's viewpoints and expectationsBibliographies for further readingIndices & Glossaries, when appropriateAll editions are beautifully designed and are printed to superior specifications; some include illustrations of historical interest. Barnes & Noble Classics pulls together a constellation of influences--biographical, historical, and literary--to enrich each reader's understanding of these enduring works. When Leaves of Grass was first published in 1855 as a slim tract of twelve untitled poems, Walt Whitman was still an unknown. But his self-published volume soon became a landmark of poetry, introducing the world to a new and uniquely American form. The "father of free verse," Whitman drew upon the cadence of simple, even idiomatic speech to "sing" such themes as democracy, sexuality, and frank autobiography.Throughout his prolific writing career, Whitman continually revised his work and expanded Leaves of Grass, which went through nine, substantively different editions, culminating in the final, authoritative "Death-bed Edition." Now the original 1855 version and the "Death-bed Edition" of 1892 have been brought together in a single volume, allowing the reader to experience the total scope of Whitman's genius, which produced love lyrics, visionary musings, glimpses of nightmare and ecstasy, celebrations of the human body and spirit, and poems of loneliness, loss, and mourning.Alive with the mythical strength and vitality that epitomized the American experience in the nineteenth century, Leaves of Grass continues to inspire, uplift, and unite those who read it. Karen Karbiener received a Ph.D. from Columbia University and currently teaches at New York University. She also wrote the introduction and notes for the Barnes & Noble Classics edition of Frankenstein.

    

    unless a hero rides to her rescue. Book 2: Fighting Mac She's no sleeping beauty, but then he's no prince - just a biker warrior to the rescue. Book 3: Chasing Taz He lived his life one conquest at a time. She calculated her every move... until she met him. Book 4: Claiming Tiny Some rules are meant to be broken. Book 5: Saving Scout Nothing worthwhile in life ever comes fast or easy.

    

    In the beloved tradition of Erle Stanley Gardner, Chastain presents an all-new Perry Mason mystery! When Mason's latest client seems to have every reason to have murdered her husband and no plausible alibi, Mason must employ all his talents at detection to save her from conviction!

    Prompted by the prophecies of three mysterious witches and goaded by his ambitious wife, the Scottish thane Macbeth murders Duncan, King of Scotland, in order to succeed him on the throne. This foul deed soon entangles the conscience-stricken nobleman in a web of treachery, deceit and more murders that ultimately spells his doom.

    Special Race? Why not. Unknown Questlines? A staff that he thinks is so overpowered that he doesn’t even want to chance casting it? Sure. Multiple women, who aren’t even human? Yes please!Jason just wanted to build a cabin in the woods in the newest VRMMORPG. But apparently, the “Gods” of this game had other plans for him. Adventure awaits for no one, especially when it’s coming to look for you.Follow Jason as he explores this new World called Destiny, and see if it’s namesake is what he has been waiting for all his life. But what the real Gods have in store for him isn’t what he expectedJason Morgan hates his life.Three years ago, a car accident landed him in a wheelchair. After two experimental surgeries, he still can’t walk. Now, broke, and living as a ward of the State, Jason wants nothing more than to walk again and to get out of this hellhole of a hospital.Enter Games For Life, a gaming company that runs a massive VRMMORPG system. They invite Jason to test their groundbreaking pod technology. In their gaming World Destiny, time and reality are not what they seem. There, Jason can even walk again! What could possibly go wrong?Maybe Jason should have read the fine print on the contract a little more closely…

    The short stories included in this selection are representative not only of Tagore's range, but they also enable us to revise the conventional view of Tagore as a short story writer. Writing them at a time when the form was not yet popular, Tagore eschewed the romantic strain prevalent in his day. His stories are fables of modern man, where fairy tale meets hard ground, where myths are reworked, and the religion of man triumphs over the religion of rituals and convention, where the love of a woman infuses the universe with humanity. He writes with concern about such issues as the Hindu revivalism in the late nineteenth century and the bondage of women. The rhythms of daily life, his rural encounters and childhood reminiscences, unfold in his tales, as does a sense of history, the reality of the political situation and its impact on individual lives. Tagore wishes to see the world of humanity not only reflected in his own life but also actualized in Bengali literature. His profound sensibility led him beyond the merely regional, his humanity stretching across east and west, fulfilling the purpose of his Jibandebata, his life's deity, Edited by Sukanta Chaudhuri, a well-known scholar and translator, this is an authoritative and readable translation of Tagore's short stories. An essential Tagore for the collector, it is one that will find its place on every discerning reader's shelf.

    The major theme is the dictatorship of the state and discrimination suffered by the immigrant Nepalese. Thule and Satar, the major characters represent thousands of poor, innocent and illiterate Nepali youths who flee their homes every year with the dream of better quality of life but their dreams get shattered in the hands of frauds and tyrants in the alien land. Various well known authors and critics like Parijat and Michael Hutt have spent words to praise the magic the twenty one year old author cast on the audience in those days and even now.For Parijat, Muglãn is “the second novel I have read in a single breath, within a decade. Unless the language, style, presentation is good, it becomes difficult to read any literature”. Muglan, however, is criticized for being too pessimistic in tone and exaggerating the then existing circumstances. Muglan has been rendered into English from Nepali by Lekhnath Sharma Pathak.

    Fleeing from pirates, Robinson Crusoe is swept ashore in a storm possessing only a knife, a box of tobacco, a pipe-and the will to survive. His is the saga of a man alone: a man who overcomes self-pity and despair to reconstruct his life; who painstakingly teaches himself how to fashion a pot, bake bread, build a canoe; and who, after twenty-four agonizing years of solitude, discovers a human footprint in the sand... Consistently popular since its first publication in 1719, Daniel Defoe's story of human endurance in an exotic, faraway land exerts a timeless appeal.

    As he blows out the candles on his cake, he makes a token wish. Three days later, to his utter astonishment, that wish comes true.All his problems solved, Kyle is busy counting his blessings when a gaunt pensioner turns up at his door unannounced. The stranger then confounds Kyle by claiming credit for his recent good fortune, followed by a bizarre declaration … when Edmund Wishkin grants a wish, there’s always a price to pay.Whether he believes the old man or not, Kyle is about to discover the true cost of a wish fulfilled.