For Claire Anderson, this crosses the line. To make matters worse, they’re on the lam and can’t be returned to sender until In Between, the afterlife way station, can arrange transportation to pick them up. In the meantime, Claire tries to contain this motley crew, hoping to stave off an international incident. How do they manage to walk among us? Will Claire succeed in repatriating them? And at what cost? The Afterlife Coach is a humorous tale of second chances, self-awareness and, for those among us who make bad choices, demonstrates just how hard it is to die happily ever after.

    After more than thirty years of being asked the same question—"Why don't you give us some good news for a change?"—veteran television news anchor Bruce Lindsay obliges us with humorous and heartwarming stories from the idyllic town that we believe we grew up in—or wished we did. Inspired from the stories found in real small-town newspapers, Bruce Lindsay introduces us to the down-to-earth, foible-filled characters from Parley's Grove—folks who can make the mundane mesmerizing and the absurd endearing. Warm, poignant, and always hilarious, these affectionate vignettes of small-town life will help you remember who you are and where you're from.

    This is a book about surviving it." I felt like a babyless freak. No matter what we tried, I couldn’t get pregnant, even after standing on my head after sex. I was pretty sure I was the only woman on the planet going through infertility, certainly the only one jamming needles into my butt on commercial breaks during my favorite TV shows. Everyone was getting pregnant around me and no one was talking about what happened if you couldn’t. After my experience, I wanted to write a book for other infertile women and couples who feel alone, the book I wish I’d had when I was going through it, filled with dark humor and illustrations of quirky ovaries and whimsical sperm. If you’re like me, you want blunt, honest conversations about all the crazy stuff you’re going through with someone who’s been there and understands at least some of what you’re dealing with and how you’re feeling. And if it can somehow give you permission to laugh without diminishing the pain you’re feeling? Even better. This is the funnest book you’ll ever read about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Each chapter covers a different challenge with infertility and is broken into sections, a little of my story and concerns, a blurb from my husband, Alex, kind of a window into his dudely brain, and practical tips on how to cope. Read it yourself, read it as a couple, and if you’re struggling to explain your feelings to friends and family, hurl a copy at them and run away. I really wish you didn’t need this book, but since you do, come on over. You’re not alone.

    Powers, a self-described self-reflection junkie, challenges readers to create a more joyful life by using an easily adapted process outlined in Oh shift! Drawing on her New Jersey upbringing, Powers couples a provocative approach with fearless humor and wit to provide readers with the inspiration to become true shift heads. Powers shares both personal vignettes and client success stories to drive the Oh, shift! message home and to showcase the benefits of shifting in today's world. Chapters aptly titled to fit the Oh, shift! message include: Shift or get off the pot, Why take a shift?, Shift happens, The f'n shift, Let's shoot the shift, Scared shiftless and many more. This is not your everyday self-help book. The title may be funny, but the content is powerfully life-changing. The book utilizes a specially designed layout to emphasize important points and to make it a quick and enjoyable read. It guarantees to get the reader totally shift-faced.

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    You're happily knitting a sweater or a blanket and just when you think it's smooth sailing to the finish line, you realize you totally dropped a stitch or...the neck hole is too small or...who knows what! Hey, you're human; mistakes like these happen. And the more proficient a knitter you are, the more elaborate the mistakes can be. When Bad Things Happen to Good Knitters is your white "knit" in shining armor, here to rescue you...to gently guide you through exactly how to fix any knitting problem...and get your project back on track.A newly revised edition of the classic from the knitting fairy godmothers. This new, expanded, and updated edition offers you even more good advice, more tips, and more knitting solutions, particularly for more adventurous elements like color, lace, and cables. Authors Marion Edmonds and Ahza Moore, beloved by knitters all over the country, give you levelheaded advice on what to fix, how to fix it, and when you can just fudge it. With 119 years of knitting experience between them, they've seen it all and fixed it all.New for this edition...patterns!Learn how to make:Mosaic mitts Streamer scarf Lace sampler wrap Fair Isle pillow of many colors Updated cable beanie Deliberate drop-stitch scarf Did you know that 1 in 3 women either knit or crochet? Chances are, you're one of them! Now you can keep working at your craft, even take a few risks here and there with more in-depth projects. It's ok if you mess up--When Bad Things Happen to Good Knitters is here to make the boo-boos all fade away.

    Soldering Made Simple takes all the mystery and fear out of soldering so that amateur jewelry makers — even those who have never held a torch — feel empowered and confident. Friendly and thorough instructional text and step-by-step photos help readers build skills gradually, which they can then employ with the included projects. Joe Silvera presents soldering techniques that use a simple setup, a handheld butane torch that is safe and easy to operate, and a few other supplies.

    Will the “School Gyrls” collaboration with the Archies be a chart-topping hit or a resounding dud?

    Their children’s home Marshall’s is full of love and laughter, and a world away from their terrible ordeal of being sold to Una Reed for five shillings.There are many more children who still need a home, especially in a world where the workhouse is the last option for desperate families, and so Minnie makes it her mission to build Marshall’s into a refuge for all the waifs and strays. But kind hearts can be taken advantage of, and before long, Marshall’s in under attack. Can Minnie and Billy keep their family together and keep all the children safe, or will they be torn apart again? The Queen of the Black Country sagas is back with a heart-warming, unputdownable and unforgettable tale of triumph against the odds. Perfect for fans of Val Wood and Lyn Andrews.

    Regardless of religion, race, sex, sexuality or nationality. He hates all of you. Basically, you are fucked." God is pissed off. He has run out of patience with humans and decided that our time is over. We've had our chance and its back to the drawing board. "Fuck the lot of them" is his newest gospel. Mo, and Jay, best Friends who've fucked up in the past, beg him for one more chance to get the humans back on track. Alongside Mr Saluzar, the head of a global charity foundation, and Nick, The Fallen Angel, they hurtle towards Armageddon and their one chance to prove God wrong. They have seven days to save us. On The Seventh Day contains strong language and religious irreverence which some may find offensive. Irreverent dark humour from the author of Lanarkshire Strays and the dEaDINBURGH series.

    You'll also discover: Cool ways to show off memorabilia; Great gift books for kids; Dozens of practical and meaningful mini-book ideas for every occasion; Hundreds of ideas for tracking the special details of your life. Discover the fun, fast and easy way to capture and document the everyday moments of your life.

    He had a beautiful new girlfriend and sudden prosperity as an author. But when he adopts an orphaned infant mouse, his world is turned on its head. The mouse comes to symbolize everything left unresolved in his life — his relationship with his divorced parents, his fear of family and commitment, and his inability to feel true happiness and love. By turns hilarious and moving, Mishka Shubaly’s latest Kindle Single captures the journey we all take in life — from being loved, to giving love. Cover by Adil Dara.

     (No previous DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE reading experience required.) This 21,000-word collection contains the first-ever publication of "Gave Up The Ghost," the basis for the horror/comedy short movie directed by Gregory Lamberson, that will appear in the upcoming anthology film CREEPERS. In addition to a report from the movie set, this collection contains... "The Car." A pair of vampires get together for an evening of vicious fun. "The Loneliest Jackalope." Bunnies with antlers! You can't go wrong with bunnies with antlers. "Inside the Boxes." Whatever is in there can't be good... "A Bit of Christmas Mayhem." Andrew Mayhem vs. a trio of axe-wielding Santa Clauses. "Scrumptious Bone Bread." It's not just for giants anymore. "A Flawed Fantasy." Sometimes, two girls at once isn't the best idea. "Tin Cans." What will you hear when you put one to your ear?

    The Fine Art of Paper Flowers is an elevated art and craft guide that features complete step-by-step instructions for over 30 of Tiffanie Turner's widely admired, unique, lifelike paper flowers and their foliage, from bougainvillea to English roses to zinnias. In the book, Turner also guides readers through making her signature giant paper peony, shares all of her secrets for special paper treatments, candy-striping, playing with color and creating botanical imperfections, and shows how to turn paper flowers into gorgeous garlands, headdresses, bouquets and more. These stunning creations can be made from simple and inexpensive materials and the book's detailed tutorials and beautiful photography make it easy to achieve dramatic and lifelike results.

    The compendium includes many of Ryan's previously unpublished parodies.