Dance for your Daddy: The True Story of a Brutal East End Childhood


Katherine Shellduck - 2005
    I had been looking for sweets. I put my hand in the bag and felt a sticky liquid on my fingers, then I looked at it. A red smear. Then I looked in the bag: bloody knives and clothes. It didn't feel good. What did it mean? I don't know. There are no answers; I daren't ask the questions'Growing up in poverty in London's East End, Kathy was eight years old when her father forced her mother into prostitution. When their mother fled, leaving Kathy and her sisters behind, the girls stuck fiercely together while being passed from children's homes to boarding schools. Then, on a rare trip home, Kathy looked out the window to see a man firing four shots into a Rolls-Royce. It took several seconds for her to realise the victim was her mother's lover, and the gunman was her father.Kathy began her haunting memoir when, as an adult, she travelled back to London, to find out who her gangster father really was. A compelling memoir of an extraordinary childhood, Dance for your Daddy is a true story of the effects on one family of poverty and affluence, violence and love.

Why Me?


Sarah Burleton - 2010
    Instinctively, I reached out my arms to stop my fall and ended up grabbing the live fence. My hands clamped around the thin wires, and my body collapsed to the ground as the electricity coursed through it. I opened my eyes and saw my mother standing over me with the strangest smile on her face. “Oh, my God, I’m going to die!” I thought in panic.Imagine never being able to close your eyes and remember the feel of your mother’s arms wrapped around you. Now imagine closing your eyes and remembering your mother’s tears splashing down on your face as she is on top of you, crying as she is trying to choke you to death. My mother left me these memories and many more during my traumatic childhood. After many years of struggling with trying to understand “Why Me?” I took back control of my life and started saying, “It was me, now what am I going to do?” The answer is my book, “Why Me?”. It is my childhood journey through the terrors of physical and mental abuse from first grade until the day I moved out. It is my way of letting the world know what was really going on behind closed doors.

Please Don't Make Me Go


John Fenton - 2008
    When, aged 13, his father brought a charge against him in order to remove him from the family home, John found himself in Juvenile Court – from here he was sent to the notorious St. Vincent’s school, run by a group of Catholic Irish Brothers.Beatings and abuse were a part of daily life – both from John’s fellow pupils, but also from the brothers, all of which was overseen by the sadistic headmaster, Brother De Montfort. Tormented physically and sexually by one boy in particular, and by the Brothers in general, John quickly learnt to survive but at the cost of the loss of his childhood.Please don’t make me go, tells in heart-rending detail the day-to-day lives of John and the other boys – the beatings, the weapons fashioned from toilet chains and stones, the loneliness – but we also see the development of John’s love of reading, his growing friendship with Father Delaney and his best friend, Bernard, and his unstinting love for his mother whom he feared was suffering at the hands of his violent father.A painfully, brutally honest account, Please don’t make me go is also an example of the resilience of the human spirit as it documents how John learnt to survive and come through his ordeal.

She Said Yes: The Unlikely Martyrdom of Cassie Bernall


Misty Bernall - 1999
    Confronting 17-year-old Cassie Bernall, they put a gun to her head and asked: Do you believe in God? She said Yes. The killer laughed and pulled the trigger. Around the world, people hailed Cassie as a modern martyr, but a far more remarkable story has been left untold. Three years earlier, Cassie herself planned to murder a teacher and threatened suicide. In She Said Yes, Cassie's mother breaks her silence to recount the dramatic transformation that led up to her daughter's final heroic stand.

Sickened: The Memoir of a Munchausen by Proxy Childhood


Julie Gregory - 2003
    Just twelve, she’s tall, skinny, and weak. It’s four o’clock, and she hasn’t been allowed to eat anything all day. Her mother, on the other hand, seems curiously excited. She's about to suggest open-heart surgery on her child to "get to the bottom of this." She checks her teeth for lipstick and, as the doctor enters, shoots the girl a warning glance. This child will not ruin her plans.SickenedFrom early childhood, Julie Gregory was continually X-rayed, medicated, and operated on—in the vain pursuit of an illness that was created in her mother’s mind. Munchausen by proxy (MBP) is the world’s most hidden and dangerous form of child abuse, in which the caretaker—almost always the mother—invents or induces symptoms in her child because she craves the attention of medical professionals. Many MBP children die, but Julie Gregory not only survived, she escaped the powerful orbit of her mother's madness and rebuilt her identity as a vibrant, healthy young woman.Sickened is a remarkable memoir that speaks in an original and distinctive Midwestern voice, rising to indelible scenes in prose of scathing beauty and fierce humor. Punctuated with Julie's actual medical records, it re-creates the bizarre cocoon of her family's isolated double-wide trailer, their wild shopping sprees and gun-waving confrontations, the astonishing naïveté of medical professionals and social workers. It also exposes the twisted bonds of terror and love that roped Julie's family together—including the love that made a child willing to sacrifice herself to win her mother's happiness. The realization that the sickness lay in her mother, not in herself, would not come to Julie until adulthood. But when it did, it would strike like lightning. Through her painful metamorphosis, she discovered the courage to save her own life—and, ultimately, the life of the girl her mother had found to replace her. Sickened takes us to new places in the human heart and spirit. It is an unforgettable story, unforgettably told.

No More Hurt


Eaton Hamilton - 1994
    LGBT Studies. Lesbian. Queer. Child sexual abuse. Mothers. Parenting."A true story about Ellen's discovery that her daughters were being sexually abused by their father. There are no arrests, no happy endings and no one gets "healed". Instead, it's a painful account of how the children are harmed and how communities respond to such accusations. At a time when so much focus is on convictions and criminals, I found this a moving reminder that the reality of these situations is much more complex." (Ros Coward Observer)"Ellen Prescott writes with a literary flair that adds to the power of her story. She hits the reader in the gut on page 1: "In 1982, when my daughters were four and one, I decided to kill them . . . I was so in love with them, there at the door of their bedroom, that all I could think of was murder." You'd have to be anesthetized to put the book down at this point." (Toronto Star)"I recommend it to anyone, including most physicians who need a better understanding of human responses to suffering." (Willard Edwin Smith, BSc, MD, FRCP)"Well paced and … excruciatingly well written." (Quill and Quire)"This is a gripping story which I read from start to finish at one sitting." (Geist)"I liked Mondays are Yellow, Sundays are Grey so much that I bought a couple of copies for my office and they are rotating amongst my clients. I’m sure that it will be of tremendous help to both survivors and mothers of survivors." --Caren Durante, M.Ed."I was very impressed with the writer’s account and with her accomplishment of dealing with her own and her daughters’ abuse experiences. I appreciate your bringing this book to my attention." Dr. J. Adler, Registered Psychologist"I’m writing to tell you how much I admired and relished Mondays are Yellow, Sundays are Grey. I stayed in bed for 2 days and read it slowly. The story’s truth had my inner organs hiding behind each other, shifting all around. Having been abused as a kid myself, I was the victims; being a parent, I was the mother; being a man, I was the abuser. The critical me admired the smooth, unblinking text." –a reader"Thank you for writing about your experience. It helped me understand a lot about myself and my relationships to read about all of you. I have never read a personal account that so closely mirrored mine. I wish I had had a mother like you to hold me and comfort me and reassure me that not all life was pain. You’re a heck of a writer." –a reader'You'd tell me if Daddy touched your private parts, wouldn't you, Carolina?''No,' said Carolina firmly.'Why not, honey?''Because it's a secret.'It is only when long-buried memories from her own childhood start to surface that Ellen realises the terrible truth about her two young daughters: Carolina and Amy are being sexually abused by their father.Ellen writes with unflinching honesty about the heartbreak of finding out her daughters were abused, her fears of losing custody and her fight to have her story believed by sceptical doctors and social workers.A harrowing true story of sexual abuse from a mother's point of view, No More Hurt is a deeply affecting chronicle of Ellen's hard-won battle to create a place of safety and love for herself and her daughters.

Finding Fish


Antwone Quenton Fisher - 2001
    "A striking and original story of the journey from troubled childhood to self-aware adult."Soon to be a major motion picture starring and directed by Denzel Washington, Finding Fish is the memoir of Antwone Fisher's miraculous journey from abandonment and abuse to liberation, manhood, and extraordinary success--a modern-day Oliver Twist.Baby Boy Fisher--as he was documented in his child welfare caseworkers' reports--was raised in institutions from the moment of his birth in prison to a single mother. After beginning his life in an orphanage, Antwone was placed in a temporary foster home until, around age two, he was transferred to a second foster home. It was there, over the next thirteen years, that he endured emotional abandonment and physical abuse. Removed from this foster home not long before his sixteenth birthday, Antwone found fleeting refuge in a boys' reform school but was soon thrust into the nightmare of homelessness.Though convinced he was unwanted and unworthy, Fish, as he came to be known, refused to allow his spirit to be broken. Instead, he became determined to raise himself, to listen to social workers and teachers who intervened on his behalf, and to nurture a romantic heart along with a scathing sense of humor and a wondrous imagination--all of which sustained him with big dreams of a better day. Fatefully, just as Antwone's life on the streets hit rock bottom, he enlisted in the United States Navy, where he remained for the next eleven years. During that time, Fish became a man of the world, raised by the Navy family he created for himself.Finding Fish shows how, out of this unlikely mix of deprivation and hope, an artist was born--first as the child who painted the feelings his words dared not speak, then as a poet and storyteller who would eventually become one of Hollywood's most well-paid, sought-after screenwriters. But before he ascends those lofty steps, Antwone's story takes us from the Navy to his jobs as a federal correctional officer and then a security guard at Sony Pictures in Hollywood. In its climactic conclusion, the mystery of his identity is finally unraveled as Antwone returns to Cleveland to locate his mother's and father's surviving family members.A tumultuous and ultimately gratifying tale of self-discovery written in Fisher's gritty yet melodic literary voice, Finding Fish is an unforgettable reading experience.

Mummy Knew


Lisa James - 2009
    Most of the time he was just violent but then he started making her do things to him she knew were wrong. Soon he was visiting her at night. Lisa begged her mother for help but she just shrugged, telling Lisa he would have his way. It was the greatest betrayal of all.At first Lisa's step-father would just make her stroke and massage his feet, hitting her if she stopped, but he soon wanted more. Much more. By the time she was 12 he was regularly abusing her. One day, when Lisa turned 16, she came home to discover that her mother had swapped bedrooms with her. 'You're my girlfriend now', her step-father told her. Lisa turned to her mother for help, but was met with a shrug. She wouldn't hear a word against her husband. 'Don't blame me,' she said. Her step-father's abuse was horrific but what completely tore her apart was knowing her mother knew and encouraged it.Trapped and increasingly desperate, Lisa tried to find a way out. But her isolation was complete. A few months later her mother told her she'd arranged for Lisa and her step-father to move into a flat together down the road. It was too much for Lisa to bear. 'Please don't make me, please,' she sobbed. But her mother just ignored her. Lisa was marched around to the flat with her possessions and her nightmare was complete.Alone with her step-father, Lisa's life became even more unbearable. Then one day, finally, she got the chance she'd been looking for to escape. Lisa bravely struck out on her own, petrified her mother would find her and hand her back into the waiting arms of her step-father. But Lisa's mother had no idea how determined she was to break away…

The Slave Across the Street: The True Story of How an American Teen Survived the World of Human Trafficking


Theresa L. Flores - 2007
    The memoir of a woman, tricked and trapped into sexual slavery as a young teenager.

Silent Sisters


Jenny Tomlin - 2006
    They survived in part because of their closeness and their determination to be there for each other. Both sisters left home at the earliest opportunity to escape but before long, Jenny was embroiled in a relationship with an abusive man that kept her locked in a cycle of violence and fear. Their lives followed parallel paths, with first marriage, then kids and always the terror that things would never change. Eventually, with a lot of love, grit and courage they helped each other to climb out of the pit of despair and truly free themselves from the legacy of the past. Every bit as harrowing and inspiring as Behind Closed Doors, this is a story of the power of unstintingly loyal love.

The Class Project: How To Kill a Mother: The True Story of Canada's Infamous Bathtub Girls


Bob Mitchell - 2008
    Author Bob Mitchell details the murder trial and provides a troubling look at the youth culture that not only supported the two sisters but encouraged them to commit the crime and then revel in their secret for almost a year. Through interviews with witnesses, Mitchell reveals the world in which the girls lived, exploring the social and psychological elements that influenced their actions.

Child C: Surviving a Foster Mother's Reign of Terror


Christopher Spry - 2008
    Her home had become a prison where over the course of 20 years she routinely abused and tortured her charges. Behind closed doors she was a sadistic tyrant who beat her children with metal bars, forced wooden sticks down their throats, and made them eat lard, bleach, vomit, and feces. In this harrowing account, one of the victims of Spry’s wrath—known during the trial as Child C—tells the full, shocking story of his enforced isolation and the psychological and physical abuse he endured. Despite years of suffering and abandonment, with his mother now behind bars, today Christopher Spry is a survivor with a zest for life.

A Brother's Journey


Richard B. Pelzer - 2000
    I am more afraid of her than ever...I get in more trouble for anything I do or say. Now I find that I'm always in trouble and I don't know why. Now that David is gone, I'm afraid that she will try to kill me, like she tried to kill him. I'm afraid that she will treat me like an animal like she did him. I'm afraid that now I'm her IT. The Pelzer family's secret life of fear and abuse was first revealed in Dave Pelzer's inspiring New York Times bestseller, A Child Called "It," followed by The Lost Child and A Man Called Dave. Here, for the first time, Richard Pelzer tells the courageous and moving story of his abusive childhood. From tormenting his brother David to becoming himself the focus of his mother's wrath to his ultimate liberation-here is a horrifying glimpse at what existed behind closed doors in the Pelzer home. Equally important, Richard Pelzer's touching account is a testament to the strength of the human heart and its capacity to triumph over almost unimaginable trauma.

Broken


Shy Keenan - 2008
    Her mother beat her so severely that she was deaf and nearly blind by her first day in school. Her stepsister thought nothing of pouring boiling water over her, and virtually every day she was raped by her stepfather. At age 10 she was sold to a gang of dockworkers, viciously attacked, and left for dead in a field with a fractured skull. Today, Shy is an internationally respected advocate in the fight for justice for victims of child sexual abuse. Six years ago, her testimony secured the imprisonment of her stepfather and his associates for a catalogue of crimes against children. This success was achieved only after a journey through extensive psychiatric care, prison, and near-suicide. Shy’s experiences expose the extreme wickedness of which some are capable, but also tell a story of hope, strength, and courage.

I Remember, Daddy: The Harrowing True Story of a Daughter Haunted by Memories Too Terrible to Forget


Katie Matthews - 2011
    She'd always remembered her father's physical abuse, his anger and violence. But there was a lot she had forgotten. And, at the age of 24, after the birth of her son, the memories that were gradually unlocked with the help of a psychiatrist were far more terrible.Katie had grown up living in fear. She'd never forgotten the icy coldness that used to spread through every vein in her body each time her father grabbed her roughly by the arm, or punched and kicked her mother. Or the occasion when she was 3 and he'd locked her in a bedroom for an entire weekend, without food or water. Or the night when he'd brought home a young woman he'd met at a bar, pushing her mother down the stairs when she dared to complain and then locking mother and daughter out in the snow, dressed only in their nightdresses.There were many, many incidents of violence and cruelty that Katie had never forgotten. But when she started a family of her own, and began to see a psychiatrist to help her cope with the debilitating post-natal depression she was suffering, she was forced to recall memories that were even more horrifying. Memories of the sexual abuse her father had subjected her to from the age of 3, which her mind had locked away for over twenty years. And memories of all the other horrific incidents from her childhood that she'd dared not remember until then.During the months that Katie remained in the psychiatric hospital, the locked doors in her mind gradually opened, releasing the trauma from her past and finally enabling her to start to understand the reason for her self-disgust.This is Katie's story – the sometimes harrowing but ultimately inspiring true story of her journey as she comes to terms with memories too painful to remember but impossible to forget.