It's been downhill ever since. For all this talk of our dazzling modern age, the two biggest advances of the past decade are Wi-Fi and Nando's. That's the best we can do.'In his latest laugh-out-loud collection of misanthropic scribblings, hideous Q-list celebrity failure Charlie Brooker tackles everything from the misery of nightclubs to the death of Michael Jackson, making room for Sir Alan Sugar, potato crisps, global financial meltdown, conspiracy theories and Hole in the Wall along the way. The collapse of civilisation has never felt this funny (unless you're a sociopath, in which case it's been an uninterrupted laugh riot since the days of the Somme).This book is guaranteed to brighten your life, put a spring in your step, and lie to you on its back cover.

    While outrageously false, these hilarious “facts” unearth deep truths about Canadians and their culture. For the over 200,000 people already following on Twitter, @stats_canada is a daily source of the funniest Canadian parody. Now, in their first book, Stats Canada satirizes everything from history, culture, and language to sports, entertainment, politics, weather, and much more. With all-new features, graphs, maps, and other illustrations, Stats Canada has all the laughter you’ve come to expect, with only 10% recycled content! 35% of advice given in any Home Hardware does not come from an actual employee 67% of Canadians own summer snow pants 32% of Canadians can’t spell “tuque” but own at least four 56% of Manitobans are convinced they’ve travelled to the future when visiting other provinces 79% of Canadian teens don’t want to wear their winter coat, it’s not even that cold out 100% of Canadian hockey players give it 110% every game 65% of Canadian Instagram accounts include an artsy photo of a Tim Hortons cup Disclaimer: The official Statistics Canada has taken no issue with the content of this book. They were too polite to object.

    Realizing that years of work and travel in other people's countries made her a stranger in her own, and with an invitation to meet her biological father for the first time, Karen Larsen set out on a fifteen-thousand-mile trip with nothing but her motorcycle and the barest of essentials.Larsen's journey tests the limits of her own endurance, challenges her long-held beliefs and values, and asks what it means to belong to a family. Through the the fields of Iowa and the deserts of the Southwest, over the Rockies and across Alaska's Kenai Peninsula, Larsen confronts questions of femininity, family, independence, and personal identity.Her journey speaks to the immense space and over-whelming beauty of North America, as well as to the diversity and vitality of the people she meets along the way. Breaking the Limit invites you to join her as she braces against the wind, trades security for freedom, sacrifices stability for motion, and opens herself up to the vast canopy of a continent.

    But now meet another Terry Pratchett – a man of serious metaphysical ideas and sophisticated philosophical insights. In Philosophy and Terry Pratchett thirteen professional philosophers survey such key philosophical issues as personal identity, the nature of destiny, the value of individuality, the meaning of existentialism, the reality of universals and the existence of alternative realities. In considering these and many other equally fascinating themes, close reference is made to more than 35 Discworld novels as well as to the ideas of some of history's greatest philosophers including Aristotle, Hobbes, Rousseau, Kant, Mill, Kierkegaard, Wittgenstein and Rawls.During your journey, you will be surprised by numerous provocative conclusions including the startling claim that the existence of Discworld is logically possible!

    It contains never-before-published photos, never-before-produced comedy sketches, details on Graham's very unconventional life, thoughts on Monty Python, and tales of mad adventure with the Dangerous Sports Club and pals like The Who's Keith Moon, Ringo Starr, Mick Jagger, and much, much more.You'll learn who really wrote the "Dead Parrot Sketch", where the Ministry of Silly Walks came from, and many other factoids that will do you absolutely no good whatsoever. Graham Crackers includes a foreword by John Cleese, a backward by Eric Idle, and a sideways by Terry Jones, living Pythons all.

    But between 1978 and 1979, acclaimed New Yorker short story writer Julie Hecht attempted to arrange an interview with him, hoping to discover how he came to do what he did. The one-hour interview turned into innumerable surreal meetings and phone conversations with her subject; but she couldn't always tell when his act was on. Whether driving recklessly on icy roads, or drawing the author unaware into his schemes and dada-esque pranks on unsuspecting waiters and college students, Andy Kaufman never seemed to separate himself from his stage personality--or personalities. Was This Man a Genius? is the culmination of a series of bizarre, frequently hilarious meetings; In describing them Hecht, herself a master of wit and observation, illuminates the enigma of Andy Kaufman's work and life.

    Baseball's all-time Iron Man, Cal Ripken, Jr., retired from baseball in 2001 after breaking countless records, including Lou Gehrig's record for consecutive games played (Ripken played 2,632). Ripken is admired by thousands of fans not only for his relentless perseverance, but also for his unparalleled integrity. Now, in a stirring book that draws on his exhilarating career as well as the wisdom of his legendary father, Ripken shares rousing advice centered around his proven 8 Elements of Perseverance: ? The Right Values hard work, excellence, honesty, and integrity ? A Strong Will to Succeed advice for those who inadvertently ?bench? themselves in life ? Love What You Do tips for discovering where your true passion lies ? Preparation ways to continually envision your next position and prepare for it as if it were already yours Anticipation strategies for creating your own opportunities ? Trusting Relationships how to build them in even the most turbulent environments ? Life Management making time to enjoy the journey ? The Courage of Your Convictions insight into how Ripken not only broke but far exceeded numerous records Cal Ripken is a sought-after advisor to fans from all walks of life. From his numerous public-speaking engagements each year to his weekly ?Ask Cal? column for the Baltimore "Sun," he always brings a winning combination of compassion and motivation to each topic. A book for moms and dads, recent graduates, entrepreneurs, and anyone who is simply facing an important turning point, "Get in the Game" gives all of us access to legendary advice from a legendary achiever.

    A wickedly entertaining collection of caustic quips and witty criticisms.[Note: originally published as two separate books, The Guinness Dictionary of Poisonous Quotes (1991) and The Guinness Dictionary of More Poisonous Quotes (1992).]

    H. W. Fowler's A Dictionary of Modern English Usage.

    In the seventy years since, his wit (and the occasional ‘gaffe’) has continued to endear him to the nation, as he travelled the world taking his unique and charmingly British sense of humour to its far-flung corners. Hailed as a god by a tribe in Vanuatu, the Prince has had his fair share of brickbats from the media nearer home, but his outspokenness never fails to raise laughs – and eyebrows.From notorious one-liners to less newsworthy witticisms and from plain speaking to blunt indifference, the Prince does what we all wish we could do now and again – forgets polite conversation and says what he thinks. In the year in which the Prince has stepped down from his royal duties, this joyous and timely book celebrates his wry humour and supremely wicked wit.

    Soul-searching and sometimes silly questions reveal what your friends are made of! Little kids are fun or annoying? What did you watch on TV last night? Favorite thing hanging on your room wall? If you could invent something what would it be?

    Fans can’t get enough of Alton Brown’s wildly inventive, science-geeky, food-loving spirit. It’s no wonder, then, that the first two volumes in STC’s Good Eats series were New York Times bestsellers.Like Volumes 1 and 2, Good Eats 3: The Later Years packs a bounty of information and entertainment between its covers. More than 200 recipes are accompanied by hundreds of photographs, drawings, and stills from the show, as well as lots of science-of-food facts, cooking tips, food trivia, behind-the-scenes glimpses—and bonus sock puppet instructions! In chapters devoted to everything from pomegranates to pretzels, mincemeat to molasses, Alton delivers delicious recipes along with fascinating background in a book that’s as fun to read as it is to cook from. Good Eats 3 will be a must-have addition to the bookshelves and kitchen counters of Alton lovers everywhere.

    Or, I could say things like, 'Not since War and Peace...' or 'Move over Alice Walker...' Well come on now, if a book were all those things it would be a novel, and I wouldn't resort to such low tactics...So I'll give it you straight.' As befits the sassy, original entertainer, this is no ordinary autobiography filled with the boring details. Instead, Whoopi delivers twenty-five monologues with titles such as Fate, Trust, Home, Self, Cost, Race, Choice, Dick, Death and Dream. Under the chapter 'Wind' she reveals: 'A lot of people don't know this about me...but that's how I got my name, from my frequent farting. When I was in my 20s and diagnosed with ulcers, I was encouraged to fart up a storm, and my friends started calling me Whoopi. I was like a walking whoopee cushion, they said. It was an easy tag and the name stuck.

    He's best know as the empathetic android Bishop in Aliens and the intuitive criminal profiler Frank Black in the TV series "Millennium," but he has also played gunfighters and gangsters, an astronaut, a vampire, a sadistic monk, Charles Bronson and Abraham Lincoln. He's mentored Tarzan, Evel Knievel and the Antichrist, and fought Terminators, Aliens, Predators, Pinhead, Bigfoot, Superman, the Autobots, Mr. T, Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal. He's worked with directors James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, Kathryn Bigelow, Walter Hill, Sidney Lumet, Francois Truffaut, John Huston, David Fincher, John Woo, Jim Jarmusch and Sam Raimi... But this is just skimming the surface.Henriksen is a true artist - a painter, a potter and a creative collaborator who brings complexity and humanity to all of his work by drawing on real life experiences that are often stranger than fiction. His biography not only celebrates the actor's screen persona, film by film, but also recounts the chaotic upbringing and early life experiences that shaped him, revealing the man behind the image. As Lance so candidly states, "This isn't just a book about me becoming an actor. It's about all the people I've crossed paths with over the years who have helped me flourish in spite of the chaos in my early life. It's about a lifelong process of becoming a human being."

    Just absorb a few pages, then let the hero worship begin!You will need:A hunger for greatnessSome duct tapeThis bookYou may want:Sidekicks and/or minionsAn impressive nicknameAn amazing outfit