Apparently it’s fine for Scrimshaw Travel to make last minute amendments to the holiday without incurring any penalties or reducing the price in any way. That’s what the indifferent courier tells him on day one of the tour as she arrives in a clapped-out, old coach being driven by a partially-sighted driver. With the spa hotel replaced by a rundown guest house staffed by a neurotic manager, decrepit waitress and under-sexed, Italian waiter there doesn’t appear to be much of the brochure-described holiday left. Thank goodness for Angela, the rather lovely woman Derek pals up with on the journey down. She might just make the trip bearable. If only the other members of the group would leave them alone long enough to get to know each other, but Derek has always had the ability to attract the eccentric characters to him and he can’t escape them. Still, perhaps they’ll surprise him as he learns about their lives and secrets as they move from one hilarious excursion to another. And maybe Angela will provide one or two surprises herself. Driven to Distraction is a fun romp through the English countryside with characters finding love and friendship while travelling at twenty miles an hour. (Well, it is a clapped-out, old coach).

    But first they must remember what that is...

    Illustrator and writer's Carolyn Marie Castagna's first shared short story.A small icicle hanging from a roof peers inside a window at a small reading room, and learns about magical human qualities, and the importance of the one most special human feeling.

    Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don't need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment. This book will be all you require to cast aside your boring life as some jackass who cruises around bookstores hoping to score grad-school trim. With Men with Balls, you will learn how to: Showboat using classical pantomime techniques Figure out whether or not a stripper actually fancies you Emotionally cope from the emotional fallout of rookie year hazing games Find out which free locker room amphetamines will give you a shot of energy, and which will cause you to run down terrified schoolchildren with your Escalade (NOTE: Some do both) Avoid media scrutiny by directing beat writers and columnists to the nearest hot buffet So grab your balls, bookboy. You're about to become a home-run hitting, steroid-injecting, angry-orgy-having Turbostud. They're gonna need a whole ocean just to wash your jock.

    Donaldson, a recently bereaved widow finds interesting ways to supplement her income by performing as a patient for medical students, and renting out her spare room. Quiet, middle-class, and middle-aged, Mrs. Donaldson will soon discover that she rather enjoys role-play at the hospital, and the irregular and startling entertainment provided by her tenants.In The Shielding of Mrs. Forbes, a disappointed middle-aged mother dotes on her only son, Graham, who believes he must shield her from the truth. As Graham’s double life becomes increasingly complicated, we realize how little he understands, not only of his own desires but also those of his mother.A master storyteller dissects a very English form of secrecy with two stories of the unexpected in otherwise apparently ordinary lives.

     ENGLISH MAJORS. You know who you are and here is a double-CD celebrating the secret society of those who, though they may be chauffeuring kids to swim lessons or writing Unix programs or frying cheeseburgers, still could, if need be, write a term paper on the water imagery in "The Waste Land." Includes the "Six-Minute Hamlet," the "Ten-Minute MacBeth," tributes to Hawthorne and Kerouac and Emily Dickinson, a Guy Noir adventure that exposes an M.F.A. scam, the Ballad of John Henry ('John Henry was an English major and poetry was his line. He sat by the window with his yellow legal pad and he wrote one sentence at a time.'), and more. With guest appearances by Allen Ginsberg, Billy Collins, Roy Blount Jr., Robert Bly, Donald Hall, and Calvin Trillin.

    Funny and charming, poignant and nostalgic, McLean's essays illuminate a world most of us take for granted. Among Stuart's favourites in this collection are:- the shocking truth about household dust- the importance of hardware stores- the sad, true tale of Anne, the street lady- an ode to the Popsicle, "one of the world's most perfect foods"- the story of the greatest game of Monopoly ever played.

    until something utterly unfamiliar suddenly lands in your back yard.Susan is the epitome of the happy housewife, contentedly conducting her daily ritual of cleaning her home and keeping everything just as it should be. Wrapped up in her own little world within those familiar walls, she hardly notices the altogether different arrival in her own back yard. She may ignore the sudden shaking beneath her slippered feet, she might even neglect to spot the conspicuous sight itself—but she can't evade the stench. Something's wrong. Very wrong. And Susan's incapable of determining just what to do about the uninvited eyesore in her back yard. Turning to her best friend for help with the impromptu emergency threatening to shake up her very existence and happy home, Susan combines efforts with neighbor Trisha to decipher the composition and meaning of the frightfully large and utterly unpleasant new arrival. But are these two women really capable of realizing the gift of new awareness they've just been given by an unseen entity? Or will they continue to fail to see the world that exists out there? What a difference a day makes... unless you choose to ignore it. Start Reading Now...What are you waiting for? Unexpected surprises, urban fantasy, unveiled mysteries, a touch of humor, a dab of "new weird", and so much more await you.

    The #1 "New York Times" Bestselling Author of "A Man Called Ove" shares an irresistible and moving collection of heartfelt, humorous essays about fatherhood, providing his newborn son with the perspective and tools he'll need to make his way in the world.

    Newly addicted to watching Sister North, a nun with a popular television show, Sam embarks on a trip to Lake Eagleton, Wisconsin, to see the nun personally, seeking forgiveness and spiritual guidance. In Lake Eagleton, he finds out much more about Sister North, himself, and falling in love than he ever expected. "Sister North" is a novel of forgiveness and hope that takes a poignant and humorous look at what passes for love and faith in the twenty-first century.

    They steal kidneys. Like all jobs, it’s complicated. Despite being Robin Hoods of organ thievery, Abe and Samantha are just the sweetest people.Samantha, a professional con artist, uses her charms to steal kidneys from bad people and get them to good ones. Abe, Sam’s surgeon-in-crime on their illicit kidney theft operation, is using unfettered access to the human body to advance his research to cure diabetes. This gig is hell on their social lives.This hilarious and twisted Audible Original tale features just about everything you could hope for: crime, punishment, law, order, love, romance, air travel, Ed Begley Jr., and a quinceañera.

    In the essay, Twain laments the dour ways in which men of America's Gilded Age employ man's "most faithfull friend." He concludes by insisting that: "the wise thing is for us diligently to train ourselves to lie thoughtfully, judiciously; to lie with a good object, and not an evil one; to lie for others' advantage, and not our own; to lie healingly, charitably, humanely, not cruelly, hurtfully, maliciously; to lie gracefully and graciously, not awkwardly and clumsily; to lie firmly, frankly, squarely, with head erect, not haltingly, tortuously, with pusillanimous mien, as being ashamed of our high calling."

    Fans of Fruits Basket, rejoice! Natsuki Takaya is back with the first of three new chapters in the Fruits Basket story revolving around The Three Musketeers, and you can read it digitally at the same time as Japan! Our favorite trio takes center stage, as Shigure and Ayame descend on Hatori for an impromptu Three Musketeers' banquet and hijinks ensue!(SPOILER WARNING) This story takes place around the same time as the last chapter of Fruits Basket, so for those who haven't read all of the manga, please proceed with caution!

     Whether we are following WB through a grim future where human meat is on the market, or trailing slowly behind while she introduces us to Marie Laveua's daughter, you can be certain of one thing: you will be surprised. The best and the most brutal of WB's works has been brought together in this all-too-believable collection. Includes a total of eighteen tales. Stories include: - Her - Undo - Slipping - Siren - Alone in the House - Antics - House Arrest - Mall Food - Meat Aisle - The Water Stain - Heart Problems - Laveau - The Birth - The Look - Love/Death - Beneath the Surface - Nighttime Terror - Girl in the Pink Coat

    We promise to make you laugh and give you that much needed break in the middle of all the crazy.We have partnered with the most talented bunch of moms and dads to bring you the best, the funniest, and the most outrageous stories to get you from girth to birth.Are you having strange cravings? Have you asked yourself what in the hell is happening to my body? Have strangers touched your belly? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then this is the book for you! Prop up your cankles, grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream covered in olives and have a laugh with our crew. Things are about to get real.