And when Lady Peculiar’s butler – a part-time comedian – is found drowned in his own mango chutney, Detective Inspector Clinton Trump comes blundering onto the scene – ready to shun logic, breach protocol and trust in his own gut instincts. What will South East England’s greatest detective uncover? Is her ladyship a murderess? Was the killer a comedy rival? Or are darker forces at work in this particular corner of Brokenshire? Join our self-proclaimed British detective genius, as he races against time to solve this very funny murder mystery – so he can play golf at the weekend! The first novel in the ‘Clinton Trump Detective Genius’ series This riotous English detective spoof is murderously good fun from first page to last, as Inspector Trump and his unwanted sidekick, Constable Dinkel, encounter a procession of crazy comedy characters in the Great British countryside. Stuffed solid with British humour (or ‘humor’, if you’re one of the many American tourists who visit Upper Goosing), its mix of black comedy, British farce, funny one-liners and downright silliness is guaranteed to generate tremendous titters across the very civilised world.More amateur sleuth than professional investigator, Clinton Trump will bring a smile to your face like no other Trump has before, or probably ever will. So, jump aboard the Trump detection train, blow your Clinton trumpet and join the movement – Make Murder-Mystery Great Again! A Word from Detective Inspector Clinton Trump: “Greetings from Upper Goosing – the murder capital of Europe. You’ll find the scenery, tea rooms and cake shops are well worth the risk of a premature, grisly death. But before purchasing this novel, please note that it only employs British English, as spoken by Her Majesty the Queen. I don’t want anyone griping about me saying ‘per cent’ instead of ‘percent’, ‘metre’ instead of ‘meter’ or ‘tea’ instead of ‘coffee’. If you must grumble, please do as the English do and complain only to yourself. And if you’re planning on enjoying a cup of Earl Grey with this quality e-book, please remember: it’s tea first, milk second. Finally, don’t be afraid to laugh thunderously when reading this novel. Just don’t laugh yourself to death – we have enough fatalities around here as it is. Thank you.”

    

    A cross-country move away from everything Robert has known followed by a chance encounter trigger a different sort of existence. Can "Robin" adapt or will it all come tumbling down?

    He enlists the aid of his lifelong buddy, Aldo Scalicki, a confirmed bachelor who tries, without apparent success, to convince Huey that he would be better off sticking with his new lady friend, Teresa, a usually placid young waitress whose indignation flares when she learns what Huey is up to. In a moonlit balcony scene (hilariously reminiscent of Cyrano de Bergerac) Aldo pleads his lovesick friend's case and, to his astonishment, Janice capitulates although not for long. However we do learn that her earlier abuse of Huey was intended to make him "act like a man" which, at last, he does. And, more than that, he (and the audience) become aware that, in the final essence, "the greatest and only success is to be able to love" a truth which emerges delightfully from the heartwarming, wonderfully antic and always imaginatively conceived action of the play.

    She’s a nobody. And that’s the way she likes it. Her father, on the other hand — Hank Keeling, the serial killer and occasional cannibal better known as the Pork Chop Killer — has just gone viral. Thanks to a prison guard’s error, a cell phone video of Keeling’s botched execution is quickly becoming an internet sensation. After watching her father die in all his pixelated glory, Caroline is taken off-guard when Keeling himself shows up at her front door, looking very much not dead. And he has a plan. A plan involving Caroline. A plan Caroline is going to take part in whether she wants to or not. Success means wealth beyond her dreams. Failure means death. Soon Caroline is whisked away from her bland life to face down killers, gangsters and a well-meaning cop in a hunt for long-lost fortune. Deceit, avarice and unrelenting violence collide in a coming-of-age story like none you’ve ever read.

    Being dead isn’t all it’s cracked up to be... Hank Merrick was a pretty unremarkable guy — until the world went and got itself destroyed. Unspeakable horrors now wander around ruined cities, claiming what little is left of the old world, and only the dead and forgotten are left to tell the tales. Freshly expired himself, Hank’s spirit begins a mysterious misadventure — finding purpose in the afterlife. Using guile, a bit of iron, and his shambling corpse companion named Maw, Hank sarcastically slogs through the nightmare landscape. Monsters leap out from every dark corner, while an unstoppable entity of evil slowly creeps across the earth, destroying everyone in its path. What’s a ghost gotta do to catch a break?

    The book was so successful, he wrote a series. The series was so successful, he spent the next year releasing other projects he’d been working on. Now, for the first time the stories he wrote while learning his craft are available on Kindle and in paperback.From people stuck on roofs, to stalkers following their wives, to weight watchers’ meetings, this book is filled with oddballs, thieves, lowlifes, and other such lovelies. This book also contains the side story to Pete’s debut novel ‘So Low, So High’, so if you’re interested in finding out more about Fred, then this is the place.Short stories:Noang lishHeroLose-loseSo low, so highWeighTWATcherSMulti-storeyApt PupilOne flew over the policeman’s bonnetWin-winInside I’m dancing*Contained in this book are also samples of all Pete’s other books. The short stories amount to around eleven thousand words.

    In the Edgar-Award finalist Lover Man, Artie becomes a reluctant detective when his ex-girlfriend is killed. "The writing is flip and sophisticated," New York Times In Lush Life, Artie falls for a sexy pool player whose sleazy ex-husband has disappeared with $14 million of his company's assets. Now Artie finds himself in the middle of wild caper involving the mob and the CIA. "A bouncy, quirky, funny mystery...more twists and turns than a New York cab driver running up the meter," Washington Post In Don't Explain, Jellyroll has become the target of death threats from crazed stalkers, so Artie takes him to a remote island, only to discover their hideaway is overrun with an assortment of colorful killers. "An outstanding series," Publishers Weekly

     From a long night under a full moon to a patient being unexpectedly arrested when he encountered a surprise visitor at the nurses' station, these stories will take readers on a wild ride. So jump on in to read about tips from the internet gone wrong, check out some of the reasons patients get mad at us, feel the fear about the creature that roamed loose on the night shift, and try to figure out some of the statements made by intoxicated/high patients.

    Join the crew as they discover all is not as it seems...Originally published in Andromeda Spaceways #3

    The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.

    His peace is threatened when the local werewolf alpha and the sorcerer in charge of Las Cruces both mysteriously disappear. While investigating their disappearance he learns of a plot to seize control of the area as well as a group of brave, but untrained, defenders. While the defenders want Ambrose’s help he has his own reasons for preserving his pacifism as part of an old oath. Are a band of misfit supernaturals, and threats against his friends enough to bring out the warrior inside?

    The way they go about it is a howl.

    Fortunately, Moran’s injuries are not fatal; unfortunately, his compromising admissions have been heard by a motley assortment of bedside visitors, including a local police detective and the younger brother of Cesar Hernandez, Moran’s backer in his bookmaking business. The book follows, courtesy of Moran’s often hilarious first-person narration, the consequences of his ill-timed frankness, which include assault, vandalism, theft and murder. When the police identify Moran as the prime suspect in the killing, he embarks on an amateurish and offbeat quest for the truth. Readers who like to smile while reading a whodunit should hope that the author manages to enmesh his creation in further investigations.

    I want to talk and find out a bit more about you and ideally have sex. Or maybe not full sex but – I need to be home by 11 p.m.'Dating again after a complex break-up, Jessie is trying to get her personal life in order – before her kids wake up.From actress, comedian, writer and doodler Jessie Cave. Sunrise is an honest, tender-hearted and uproariously funny story about crying in the woods, sexual accidents, Harry Potter conventions and Instagram espionage – but also about motherhood and trying to get stuff done.