It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand


Megan Devine - 2017
    Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. On this unabridged audio recording read by the author, Megan offers stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices to guide us through an experience we all must face. With Megan’s gentle but direct guidance, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept it as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.

Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion


George J. Thompson - 1993
    Listen and speak more effectively, engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language), avoid the most common conversational disasters, and use proven strategies that allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper hand in most disputes.

New Life, No Instructions


Gail Caldwell - 2014
    New Life, No Instructions is about the surprising way life can begin again, at any age.   “What do you do when the story changes in midlife? When a tale you have told yourself turns out to be a little untrue, just enough to throw the world off-kilter? It’s like leaving the train at the wrong stop: You are still you, but in a new place, there by accident or grace, and you will need your wits about you to proceed.   “Any change that matters, or takes, begins as immeasurably small. Then it accumulates, moss on stone, and after a few thousand years of not interfering, you have a glen, or a waterfall, or a field of hope where sorrow used to be.   “I suppose all of us consider our loved ones extraordinary; that is one of the elixirs of attachment. But over the months of pain and disrepair of that winter, I felt something that made the grimness tolerable: I felt blessed by the tribe I was part of. Here I was, supposedly solo, and the real truth was that I had a force field of connection surrounding me.   “Most of all I told this story because I wanted to say something about hope and the absence of it, and how we keep going anyway. About second chances, and how they’re sometimes buried amid the dross, even when you’re poised for the downhill grade. The narrative can always turn out to be a different story from what you expected.”

How Pleasure Works: The New Science of Why We Like What We Like


Paul Bloom - 2010
    The average American spends over four hours a day watching television. Abstract art can sell for millions of dollars. Young children enjoy playing with imaginary friends and can be comforted by security blankets. People slow their cars to look at gory accidents, and go to movies that make them cry. In this fascinating and witty account, Paul Bloom examines the science behind these curious desires, attractions, and tastes, covering everything from the animal instincts of sex and food to the uniquely human taste for art, music, and stories. Drawing on insights from child development, philosophy, neuroscience, and behavioral economics, How Pleasure Works shows how certain universal habits of the human mind explain what we like and why we like it.

I Want This to Work: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age


Elizabeth Earnshaw - 2021
    She takes an accessible approach to couples therapy on the page, making these relationship tools feel easy—and even fun.” —Lori Gottlieb, LMFT, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone A contemporary, culturally inclusive, and easy-to-digest relationship book for the modern ageToday’s generation is changing the rules about committed relationships—and looking to create more meaning within their lives. We are more selective before getting married, with more diverse families and family structures, and we’ve seen a whopping 18 percent drop in divorce rates. In this new environment, what couples need more than ever are effective, flexible tools to communicate, navigate hard times, and create deeper connections with their partners.Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.“We’re in a cultural moment,” she says, “where people are hungry to absorb the principles for healthy relationships. This book answers that call.”Here, couples will learn how to work with the three challenges they must tackle to repair and strengthen their relationships: conflict, healing, and connection. They’ll learn fundamental principles including:· Why it’s not working· Creating space that makes it safe to connect· How to navigate hot conversations · The five-part relationship system· Busting the romantic notion that our better half “completes” us· Growing up and growing out—how both your early years and the social connections you make as an adult influence your relational beliefs, feelings, and patternsIn a supportive and relatable voice, Elizabeth simplifies complex concepts and provides core insights, exercises, and reflections to take these tested principles from the page and into real life.Culturally tuned in, LGBTQIA+ friendly, and written for both married and unmarried couples, this book brings us an accessible guide to relationship healing and creating enduring intimacy.

The Social Skills Guidebook: Manage Shyness, Improve Your Conversations, and Make Friends, Without Giving Up Who You Are


Chris MacLeod - 2016
    You’ve felt shy as long as you can remember. Your conversations have more awkward moments than you’d like. Maybe you don’t need a ton of friends, but you’d like to have some people to hang out with on occasion. You want to make changes, but you don’t know where to start. Lots of people have been in your shoes, so you’re hardly a lost cause, and it’s never too late to turn things around. The Social Skills Guidebook gives you insights into your interpersonal struggles and behaviors, and offers hands-on advice for developing and improving your people skills. The Social Skills Guidebook goes into detail about solving the three core areas that hold people back socially: 1) Mental barriers including shyness, social anxiety, and low self-confidence 2) Less-developed conversation skills 3) A lack of friends and an unsatisfying social life If you look at the people who are socially comfortable in your school or workplace and want what they have, know that you can achieve social success like theirs without losing yourself in the process. You can remain true to your personality and pursue your favorite interests while conquering the attitudes that hold you back, improving your conversation skills, and learning how to make friends. With practice, time, and patience, you can create the kind of social life you want for yourself. The Social Skills Guidebook covers topics including: • Changing counterproductive thinking that stands in the way of your social confidence • Becoming comfortable with your social fears by facing them in a gradual, manageable way • Improving your self-esteem • Navigating the different parts of a conversation • Getting past awkward silences • Interacting in one-on-one and group conversations • Learning how to listen to others and respond appropriately • Identifying other people’s nonverbal cues and being aware of your own • Finding potential friends and making plans with them • Deepening your friendships • Keeping your progress going • Improving your social skills if you have Asperger’s syndrome The Social Skills Guidebook is written by Chris MacLeod, the author of the extensive, well-visited, free site on interpersonal skills SucceedSocially.com. This book contains all of the site's key advice in a tight, organized, polished package.

This Is Me Letting You Go


Heidi Priebe - 2016
    In a world that teaches us to cling to what we love at all costs, there is an undeniable art to moving on – and it’s one that we are constantly relearning. In this series of honest and poignant essays, Heidi Priebe explores the harsh reality of what it means to let go of the people and situations we love most - often before we are ready to – and how to embrace what comes next.

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic


Esther Perel - 2006
    She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control In Personal Relationships


Adelyn Birch - 2014
     This small but powerful 33-page book focuses succinctly on identifying emotional manipulation. You will learn thirty tactics manipulators use to get what they want. You'll also learn to spot the warning signs within yourself that expose covert manipulation is taking place, even if you can't identify the specific tactics being used. This book is geared toward romantic relationships, especially those involving a pathological partner. Even so, the manipulation tactics covered are the same as those used by family members, coworkers, friends, and others. Covert emotional manipulation tactics are underhanded methods of control. Emotional manipulation methodically wears down your self-worth and self-confidence, and damages your trust in your own perceptions. It can make you unwittingly compromise your personal values, leading to a loss of self-respect and a warped self-concept. With your defenses weakened or completely disarmed in this manner, you are left even more vulnerable to further manipulation. Skilled manipulators get you to put your emotional well-being into their hands. Once you make that grave mistake, they methodically chip away at your identity and self-esteem until there’s little left, unless you identify it and put a stop to it. Learn the manipulator's game, so they can't play it with you.

The 4 Season Solution: The Groundbreaking New Plan for Feeling Better, Living Well, and Powering Down Our Always-On Lives


Dallas Hartwig - 2020
    In this groundbreaking new book, he reveals the antidote to today’s epidemics of burnout, weight gain, disease, and fatigue. Rooted in ancestral health, yet designed for our busy, modern lives, The 4 Season Solution is a blueprint for not just eating better, but living better. Not long ago, our ancestors lived according to the changing seasons, adjusting how they slept, ate, moved, and even socialized throughout the year. But today, we are more disconnected from the natural world than ever. We wake before the sun rises and go to bed long after it sets. We eat tropical fruits in the dead of winter. We exercise in climate-controlled environments. We connect virtually instead of emotionally. Our lives are frenetic, stressful, and exhausting. In other words, we are living in a chronic summer, and it’s killing us. Packed with crucial research and clear-eyed writing, The 4 Season Solution provides a new, sustainable model for living in sync with the natural world. By making small but meaningful changes to the four keys of wellness—how you sleep, eat, move, and connect—over the course of the year, you will reclaim your health, regain your energy, and let go of excess weight. At once a bold new philosophy and an accessible plan to live well all year long, The 4 Season Solution is a new health paradigm for an increasingly unhealthy world.

Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want


Alexandra H. Solomon - 2017
    In order to attract a life partner, you must first become a good partner to yourself. This book offers twenty invaluable lessons that will help you explore and commit to your own emotional and psychological well-being so you’ll be ready, resilient, confident, and completely whole when that special someone comes along.Many of us enter into romantic relationships full of expectation and hope, only to be sorely disappointed by the realization that the partner we’ve selected is a flawed human being with their own neuroses, history, and desires. Most relationships end because one or both people haven’t done the internal work necessary to develop self-awareness and take responsibility for their own experiences. We’ve all heard “You can’t love anyone unless you love yourself,” but amid life’s distractions and the myth of perfect, romantic love, how exactly do you do that?In Loving Bravely, psychologist and relationship expert Alexandra H. Solomon introduces the idea of relational self-awareness, encouraging you to explore your personal history to gain an understanding of your own relational patterns, as well as your strengths and weaknesses in relationships. By doing so, you’ll learn what relationships actually require, beyond the fairytale notions of romance. And by maintaining a steady but gentle focus on yourself, you’ll build the best possible foundation for making a loving connection.By understanding your past relationship experiences, cultivating a strong sense of self-awareness, and determining what it is you really want in a romantic partner—you’ll be ready to find the healthy, lasting love your heart desires.

Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse


Shannon Thomas - 2016
    The cryptic nature of psychological abuse involves repetitious mind games played by one individual or a group of people. Psychological abuse leaves no bruises. There are no broken bones. There are no holes in the walls. The bruises, brokenness, and holes are held tightly within the target of the abuse.

The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People


Judith Orloff - 2017
    Judith Orloff. "But for empaths it goes much further. We actually feel others' emotions, energy, and physical symptoms in our own bodies, without the usual defenses that most people have." The Empath's Survival Guide is an invaluable resource for empaths and anyone who wants to nurture their empathy and develop coping skills in our high-stimulus world--while fully embracing their gifts of intuition, compassion, creativity, and spiritual connection.This practical, empowering, and loving book was created to support empaths through their unique challenges and help loved ones better understand the empath's needs and gifts. Dr. Orloff offers crucial practices, including:- Exercises to help you identify your empath type and where you are on the empathy spectrum - Tools for protecting yourself from sensory overload, exhaustion, addictions, and compassion fatigue while replenishing your vital energy - Simple, effective strategies to stop absorbing stress and physical symptoms from others and protect yourself from narcissists and other energy vampires - How to find the right work that feeds you - How to navigate intimate relationships without feeling overwhelmed - Guidance for parenting and raising empathic children - Awakening the empath's gift of intuition and deepening your spiritual connection to all living beingsFor any sensitive person who's been told to "grow a thick skin," here is a lifelong guide for staying fully open while building resilience, exploring your gifts of depth and compassion, and feeling welcome and valued by a world that desperately needs what you have to offer.

Your Brain On Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction


Gary Wilson - 2014
    Far from preparing them for fulfilling relationships, viewing an endless stream of porn videos led to unexpected symptoms. Perhaps most surprisingly, for the first time in history erectile dysfunction was becoming a significant problem for young men. This led to one of the largest informal experiments in the history of science. Tens of thousands of people have tried abstaining from sexually stimulating material in a process they call ‘rebooting’. Many of them reported startling changes, from improved concentration and elevated mood to a greater capacity for real-life intimacy. Gary Wilson has listened to the stories of those who have tried giving up internet porn and related them to an account of how the reward system of the brain interacts with its environment. And now a growing body of research in neuroscience is confirming what these pioneers have discovered for themselves – internet pornography can be seriously addictive and damaging. In Your Brain on Porn Wilson provides a concise introduction to the phenomenon of internet porn addiction that draws on both first-person accounts and the findings of cognitive neuroscience. In a voice that is generous and humane, he also offers advice for those who want to stop using internet pornography. The publication of Your Brain on Porn is a landmark in our attempts to understand, and remain balanced in, a world where addiction is big business.

People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts


Robert Bolton - 1979
    Maybe you listen to an argument in which neither party seems to hear the other. Or maybe your mind drifts to other matters when people talk to you. People Skills is a communication skills handbook that can help you eliminate these and other communication problems. Author Robert Bolton describes the twelve most common communication barriers, showing how these “roadblocks” damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness, or dependency. He explains how to acquire the ability to listen, assert yourself, resolve conflicts, and work out problems with others. These are skills that will help you communicate calmly, even in stressful emotionally charged situations. People Skills will show you: · How to get your needs met using simple assertion techniques · How body language often speaks louder than words · How to use silence as a valuable communication tool · How to de-escalate family disputes, lovers' quarrels, and other heated arguments Both thought-provoking and practical, People Skills is filled with workable ideas that you can use to improve your communication in meaningful ways, every day.