I’ve got three words for her. Bah freaking humbug. I hate Christmas. For the last 10 years, I’ve hated everything. Except for my girls. Perfect twins with their mother’s eyes. They want me to move on, but I’m too damaged to listen. Until Niki. Her sass makes my temper rise along with my mammoth… ego. And when I see her delicious curves under that dress, I want to bend her over her party plans and show her what’s waiting in her stocking this year. But giving her what she wants means letting go of the past, And I’m not ready to forget. I’ve got billions to keep me warm, I don’t need Niki too. Except I can’t imagine life without her. Time to turn my bah humbugs into Christmas kisses. Even bums like me need someone to love. I just hope I’m not too late... "Mine on Christmas" is a full length standalone romance with no cheating and no cliffhangers, but with plenty of steam and a HEA. I've also included a preview of my billionaire romance "Accidentally His" for you! - Sarah J. Brooks (USA Today Bestselling Author)

    Tressa is determined to prove there's more to this cockeyed cowgirl than meets the eye and she’s just been handed the perfect opportunity to get "Ranger Rick" and a skeptical citizenry to finally take her seriously. How? By solving a murder no one else believes happened...No one, that is, except the killer. CALAMITY JAYNE RIDES AGAINTressa’s off to the State Fair to work at her Uncle Frank’s ice cream concession stand. But when a soft-serve saboteur appears at the same time her cousin, Frankie, goes missing, it's another fine, sticky mess she's gotten herself into. With a string of malicious pranks, to scary, psycho dunk-tank clowns, two geriatric Jessica Fletcher wannabes, a dishy state trooper, and a sister who may have her eye on a certain ranger-type, and it's mayhem on the midway time. GHOULS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUNTressa thinks she on to a scoop when eccentric and reclusive bestselling writer, Elizabeth Courtney Howard comes to Grandville to finish her latest book. So, what's stopping Tressa from scoring this journalistic coup? Only the fact that the skeletons to uncover in this little exposé are all in a closet in Haunted Holloway Hall--a house only Norman Bates could love.CALAMITY JAYNE GOES TO COLLEGEAce cub reporter Tressa Jayne Turner is back in college and nothing’s going to stop Tressa from making the grade. Well, except for a wrinkled roommate rekindling an old flame, maid of honor madness run amok, a botched betrothal that’s more than just schoolyard gossip and a campus criminal out to teach the student body a lesson—one one crime at a time. Failure is so not an option.CALAMITY JAYNE HEADS WESTTressa Jayne Turner’s off to Arizona to see her gammy hitched. Her cousin’s keeping secrets, Ranger Rick Townsend is sending signals—more of the smokin’ than smoke variety—and it seems Tressa’s not the only person with an attachment to “Kookamunga”, the fertility figurine she picked up at a roadside stand. Throw in a washed-up actress out to kick-start her career, a suspect spiritual advisor, locals with a cause, and a ten-year-old who’s a chip off a certain ranger’s blockhead and it’ll be a vision quest to make Thelma and Louise’s southwestern spree seem like amateur night at the OK Corral. May the best spirit guide win.ANCHORS AWEIGHTressa Jayne is off on a post-wedding cruise. Good food. Warm beaches. Romantic sunsets. Nothing can take the wind out of Tressa’s sails this time. Nothing that is except this particular Love Boat has Iceberg ahead! written all over it. Why? It’s a lo-cal “biggest loser” cruise, Tressa’s bad-boy faux fiancé and his marriage-minded aunt Mo are stowaways, and Tressa’s barely got her sea les before a dastardly murder plot bobs to the surface and Tressa Jayne knows just how Capt. Jack Sparrow feels when the rum is gone. Yo ho ho and a bottle of V-8!

    From the random braindropping (When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.) to favorite oxymorons (holy war, for one), and from questions to ponder (Why are there no B batteries? for instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs.

    The following day, millions of zombies who were being imprisoned in camps around the country were released into the general population.This is the story of the Quinn family of Boston, Massachusetts, an ordinary American family as they adjust to their new lives, living among zombies in their schools, hospitals, workplaces – Everywhere.

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    There was no one happier in the world than me when I lost seventy-pounds and I decided that I was going to show the world what the new me could do. So I did, and the world laughed. A lot. Oh, well - I suppose I have found my place in this life and I think it's destined to be one step behind the beat. The good news is, it's my beat, and I love it. So come join me and discover what happened when the Empress of Self-Delusion took on the world. Try not too laugh too much, though, eh?This bundle collection includes the following:#1 Learn Pole Dancing#2 Start a Blog#3 Learn to Cook#4 Create a Masterpiece#5 Run a Marathon#6 Go Skinny Dipping

    Right Could Be Right Under Her Nose! Maggie Lane is looking for her Mr. Right. And she has a man in mind. If only she can get him to notice her. Maggie Lane will do anything to achieve her goals and with the help of her best friend, dog and diary, she just might accomplish all of her dreams. Hilarious laugh out loud funny contemporary romance. Full-length book with NO cliffhanger!

    What matters is that you've always got a place with the Wilder Crew.Thadd's so much more than meets the eye...After witnessing the death of his mother along with the betrayal of his pride that nearly broke him, he fled his native home. Now, ten years later, he's found a sort of peace and a crew of misfits that's more family than his old pride. Yet he yearns for more.Torrance isn't your average shifter...She's happy with her life and with her Pride, but she knows her mate isn't among the males she's met. However, she's aware it's only a matter of time before she either finds a mate, or has to tell her alpha and adopted brother, the truth about what she really is. Figuring out how to explain to her pride the truth about her nature is harder than she thought.When a lion meets his mate...Thadd isn't one to ignore fate, especially when he dreams of a female night after night. Of course, the dreams aren't lovey dovey sexy dreams, but nightmares he's determined to prevent from happening, if he can just figure out who the gorgeous woman happens to be.If Fate sends you a beast...Torrance feels the pull to the male and knows nothing and nobody will stop him from claiming her. Not that she's planning on pumping the brakes either. Now she just needs to ensure her Pride doesn't kill the huge shifter before she claims him as hers.Can these two shifters who are more than meets the eye get their happily ever after, or will a demon from Thadd's past destroy them before they get a chance to find true happiness?From USA TODAY Bestselling Author An An All New Series of Sexy Alpha Bad Boys and Tough Heroines With Lots of Twists and And Turns. If you like your stories with laugh-out-loud, sexy-as-heck, OH MY GAWD did I just read that moments, then you'll love these stories. Get ready for one heck of a twisted and wild tale that will have you laughing, gasping, and possibly crying. Yet I promise you'll be so darn satisfied you'll be asking for a Wilder Crew for your very own. Oh, and there might be a pink dragon sighting "wink".

    Fortunately Greg's best mate Stu has come to the rescue. Now it's Stu's job to lead Greg down the path of enlightenment, where woman swarm by their hundreds and will pay for Greg's company. Welcome to the Meat Market, where everything has a price, even love.

    . . Sage Presley loves her job as the receptionist at Golden Skies Retirement Village in Holiday, Oregon. She enjoys the residents and their wisdom, even if some of them are more than a little quirky. Determined to ignore the matchmaking efforts of two women at the retirement home, Sage’s sole focus is on raising her brother, Shane. In spite of her best efforts, she can’t help but notice the hunky electrician who continually comes to her rescue.Grateful for the opportunity to open his own electrical business, Justin James moves to Holiday full of plans and dreams. He’s quickly drawn in by the close-knit community, but finds the lack of suitable single women disturbing. Despite himself, his attention is captured by the receptionist at the retirement home where he’s working on a big job. Yet, he can’t begin to understand why two matchmaking octogenarians are intent on forcing him together with the woman he’s convinced is married. A sweet romance novella sprinkled with humor, hope, and the meaning of real love, Summer Bride will warm the hearts of readers while bringing them a smile. Scroll up and order your copy today!

    Each single-sided page includes such agression-relieving words as 'Shitballs', 'Twat Waffle' and 'Asshat' laid over therapeutic, mandala and nature inspired patterns. The #1 Gag Gift for Friends with a Sense of Humor! Introducing the world's first swear word coloring book printed on black paper. You've never experienced anything like this before. This bestselling adult coloring book features 40 classic swear words. Using this beautiful midnight edition will make your designs vibrant with color. Never again worry about coloring inside the lines... let the black paper take care of it! Unwind and relax with this beautiful coloring book... let your steam loose! What's Inside - 40 Classic Swear Words to Color (see list below) - Beautiful Abstract Designs with Intricate Details - Each Swear Word Is Printed on Black Paper - Includes Free PDF Bonus Inside! Sometimes, you just need to SWEAR at someone... List of Words - Bullshit - Fuck - Piss Off - Asshole - Bitch - Slut - Whore - Cunt - Bastard - Douche - Shit - Damn - Shitballs - Sugartits - Twat Waffle - Baggy Vag - Piss Flaps - Bollocks - Crap - Fuckwit - Fucktard - Dipshit - Shit-a-brick - Wanker - Beaver Dam - Cum Guzzler - Cuntcake - Asshat - Gutter Slut - Skank - Prick - Slutbag - Moron - Fuck Off - Idiot - Twunt - Dickhead - Cockbag - Fucknugget - Cunt Muffin Join the foulmouthed masses and unwind with Release Your Anger. Color designs featuring both classic swear words like -Bullshit- and more creative ones like -Cum Guzzler-. Each page is designed with beautiful patterns, swirls, paisleys, mandalas, flowers, and leaves... color away while letting the steam out. Simply sit back, relax, and choose the swear word that connects with you. Then color in the swear word with your choice of color pencil, pen, marker, and/or crayon. Enjoy mindfulness and relaxation with this brilliant anti-stress therapy, also the perfect gag-gift! This beautiful coloring book features: - 40 Classic and Angry Swear Words to Color - Beautiful Designs with Intricate Details - Designs Printed on Black Paper - 40 Single-Sided Pages at 8.5 x 11- - Includes Digital PDF Bonus Inside the Book Order now and get started. Your inner peace is waiting, and it has some choice words for you. Preview the book at swearybook.com/midnight TAGS: black coloring book, midnight coloring book, black adult coloring book, midnight adult coloring book, sweary coloring book, swear word coloring book, swear words adult coloring book, bullshit book, bullshit coloring book, james alexander, memos to shitty people, calm the fuck down, chill the fuck out, sasha o'hara, james alexander, donald trump

    She's been asleep for eight years – the same amount of time I’ve been the secret, exiled wife of the King of the Ocean.Poseidon is fierce, unforgiving, and terrifyingly powerful.I’m just a broken sea nymph whose magic never surfaced.But the only way to save my sister lies in his underwater palace, and I’ve got nothing else to lose.I expected escaping exile and getting to the palace to be tough. What I didn’t anticipate was battling a torrent of unexpected desire for Poseidon when he catches me.The devastatingly beautiful ocean god has secrets. Wild waves crash through his eyes when he looks at me, and I soon realize he might be just as broken as I am.But when a god has secrets, the consequences are deadly.Secret of the Broken King is the first book in the Poseidon Trials trilogy. Expect magic, mythology, and a searing slow-burn enemies-to-lovers romance that will leave you desperate for more.One-click to dive into your next fantasy romance obsession now...

    The first avocado pears are appearing at the greengrocer's, people are thinking about carpeting their lavatories and boxing in their banisters, and Ronnie Glover, housepainter, husband and father, is feeling the first vague stirrings of discontent with his life. Then, out of the blue, the fabulous, sophisticated (and married) Jacqueline bursts into his life and teaches him to tango. She seems to offer everything he ever dreamt of. But is it all too good to he true?

    It's a quirky cultural history, social satire with a twist. Here are letters of congratulation-to newly elected Ronald Reagan ("This is my dream come true!") and letters of outrage-to Pepsi ("Take the Madonna commercial off the air!"). Letters filled with fresh ideas-proposing to Swanson a "Fit for a President Microwave Dinner" series, including the Jimmy Carter Camp David Accord Style Fried Chicken and Grits. And letters of advice-how Coca-Cola should handle the "pubic hair in the can of Coke" reference during the Thomas hearings.And the best part: the replies.CITIZEN LAZLO! Over 100 new letters. We missed you. 61,000 copies in print.

    She wants to win at all costs. Of course, she wants to help others, too. That comes second to winning but it’s often a byproduct. Avery is a reporter about town, and there’s no story she won’t doggedly pursue … especially if she can scoop every other news reporter in the Detroit area and claim the glory for herself. Join Avery for three adventures as she takes on the mob, a shock jock with a bad reputation, and a human-trafficking ring that has been at it for years. That’s on top of her usual bouts of aggression with her nemesis Tad Ludington. The game is afoot … and she’s going to win. As long as she survives, that is. This three-book omnibus includes: On Deadline & Under Fire, Above the Fold & Below the Belt, and Oracles & Obituaries.