Translated from the original Catspeak, Confucius Cat says, is a hilarious and profound collection of the advice and observations of the wise and wonderful feline philosopher.

    After attacking a lone Spanish ship, the Alcestis is defeated by Spanish reinforcements and its crew taken as captives to the Panamanian port of Chagres. The ship's cat is initially imprisoned, but the gaoler's daughter takes pity on him and has him released to serve in the gaoler's kitchen. After the gaoler and his companions become drunk celebrating Saint Philip's Day, the ship's cat steals the keys to the gaol and releases his shipmates. Together, they steal a ship from the harbor and sail for home, pursued by their erstwhile captors. Their pursuers are frightened off by the sudden appearance of Sir Francis Drake (outward bound on his global circumnavigation of 1577). After Drake departs, the ship's cat reveals that he has discovered a hoard of treasure in the ship's hold. The crew sail home to England, where they are greeted as heroes and the cat is knighted by Queen Elizabeth I.

    Demetri's first literary foray features longer-form essays and conceptual pieces (such as Protagonists' Hospital, a melodrama about the clinic doctors who treat only the flesh wounds and minor head scratches of Hollywood action heroes), as well as his trademark charts, doodles, drawings, one-liners, and lists (i.e., the world views of optimists, pessimists and contortionists), Martin's material is varied, but his unique voice and brilliant mind will keep readers in stitches from beginning to end.

    Have you ever wondered how expensive a jar of honey would be if a minimum wage for bees applied, or whether a dog cares what's on television when they sit next to you?This book pairs the sweet and sad facts of animal life with their imagined thoughts and reactions.

    Mischievous and aloof one moment, affectionate the next, the cat is a confounding creature right down to its question mark of a tail. What cat owner hasn’t wondered what goes on inside that mysterious kitty brain? In this companion to It’s a Dog’s Life . . . but It’s Your Carpet, veterinary specialist Dr. Justine A. Lee answers your questions about all things feline in this entertaining and enlightening guide. An animal lover with two cats of her own, Dr. Lee combines scientific research with irreverent humor to address questions ranging from the common to the offbeat, including:• Do cats always land on their feet?• Can I train my cat to use the toilet?• Do cats have belly buttons? • How do I stop my cat from begging for food at 5:45 a.m.?• Can cats really predict death or cancer? • How can I make my antisocial cat more social?Dr. Lee also shares helpful hints on what to look for in a veterinarian. (Helpful Hint No. 1: Find a veterinarian who owns a cat.) She also reveals what every veterinarian wants you to know about being a smart consumer and pet owner. With tips on dealing with kitty’s more irksome behaviors (yes, she has some), advice on looking out for her health and well-being, and plenty of laughs, It’s a Cat’s World . . . You Just Live in It helps cat owners love and understand their quirky feline companions more than ever.

    This book will show you how to train your cat in just minutes a day. The training is based on positive reinforcement, so it really works and enhances the cat-owner bond.

    Bennett's bestselling The Book of Virtues is an inspiring anthology that helps children understand and develop moral character—and helps parents teach it to them.Responsibility. Courage. Compassion. Honesty. Friendship. Persistence. Faith. Everyone recognizes these traits as essentials of good character. In order for our children to develop such traits, we have to offer them examples of good and bad, right and wrong. And the best places to find them are in great works of literature and exemplary stories from history. William J. Bennett has collected hundreds of stories in The Book of Virtues. From the Bible to American history, from Greek mythology to English poetry, from fairy tales to modern fiction, these stories are a rich mine of moral literacy, a reliable moral reference point that will help anchor our children and ourselves in our culture, our history, and our traditions—the sources of the ideals by which we wish to live our lives. Complete with instructive introductions and notes, The Book of Virtues is a book the whole family can read and enjoy—and learn from—together.

    This language contains many subtle yet important nuances and is very different from human verbal communication, but it is nevertheless a language that can be learned. The Secret Language of Cats shows how to interpret what our felines are telling us and explains how they, in turn, interpret our body language and attempts to communicate and interact with them.If “home is where the cat is,” then The Secret Language of Cats is where the answers are, providing fascinating and revealing insights into why cats act as they do. It also contains practical advice for training, addresses common health and behavioral problems, and suggests ways to strengthen the bond with your feline friend. Promptly and properly decoding feline messages is the key to both a contented cat and a confident owner. The Secret Language of Cats takes the mysteries out of cat body language, giving you the insight to gain a better understanding of your much-loved pet.

    B. White in his essay on Don Marquis and his famous creations, and the undimmed enthusiasm of several generations of fans -- who every year buy thousands of copies of Marquis' earlier collections -- testifies to their appeal. A whimsical and sophisticated sage, archy the cockroach entertained readers with iconoclastic observations on pretensions, politics, and our place in the cosmos during Marquis' career as a New York newspaper columnist in the 1920s and 30s.Allegedly tapping out stories at night by leaping from key to key on Marquis' typewriter, archy couldn't quite manage the shift key for capital letters. Although his tales appeared in lower case, his views achieved a level grand enough to solidify Marquis' reputation as an American humorist in the tradition of Mark Twain, Joel Chandler Harris, and Ring Lardner. archyology brings together selected "lost" tales that were literally rescued from oblivion by Jeff Adams, who found them among papers stored in a steamer trunk since Marquis' death.And so archy emerges from his long silence. Whether reporting on characters like emmet the ghost, sailing to Paris to visit the insects of Europe, being trapped for days in a New York subway train, or hanging out in a Long Island orchard enjoying fermented cherries, archy is always both provocative and inimitable. With illustrations by Ed Frascino, a New Yorker regular, this collection reintroduces a delightful cast of characters who reconfirm archy's view of the world: "the only way to live with it is to laugh at it.

    Here are the funniest and most feline cats ever assembled in 101 cartoons, the cream of the cream, from sixty-five years of the New Yorker.

    The dogs, the people and their inspiring stories draw her south again and again in search of answers and maybe a dog of her own.One Hundred Dogs and Counting will introduce the reader to many wonderful dogs—from sweet Oreo to quirky Flannery—but also to inspirational people sacrificing personal lives and fortunes to save deserving animals.Join Cara on the rescue road as she follows her heart into the places where too many dogs are forgotten and discovers glimmers of hope that the day is coming when every dog will have a home.

    Before you get to the end of your leash, turn to this friendly and relatable reference that’s the next best thing to talking to a dog-owning friend who's seen it all. In Oh My Dog, animal rights activist Beth Ostrosky Stern has compiled tips and invaluable advice from experts—and from her own experience as dogowner—to sooth concerns, answer questions big and small, and help you and your dog get the most out of your relationship. From the moment you even consider getting a dog, to caring for your old friend when his puppy years are far behind him, Oh My Dog covers every angle of dog ownership, including: - Which breeds would be good match for me? - What do I look for in a vet? - How do I make sure our first night together is as stress-free as possible? - What activities will help me bond with my dog?- Is my dog showing sign of illness?- What should I know before I head to a doggie day care or park? - How do I read pet food labels? - What should I do in an emergency?Choc full of informative side bars, questionnaires, to-do lists, and much, much more, Oh My Dog is the answer-filled field guide for anybody who owns a dog or is considering getting one. Beth Ostrosky Stern

    The author of the bestselling The Deep End of the Ocean and the acclaimed The Most Wanted offers her clear-eyed takes on the complexities of everyday life--assembled from her syndicated column, The Rest of Us.

    . . . All I know is: The hand. The little hand that takes yours, small and soft as feathers. I'm happy our grandson does not yet have sophisticated language or a working knowledge of personal finance, because if he took my hand and said, "Nana, can you sign your 401(k) over to me," I can imagine myself thinking, well, I don't really need a retirement fund, do I? And besides, look at those eyelashes. Or the greeting. Sometimes Arthur sees me and yells "Nana!" in the way some people might say "ice cream!" and others say "shoe sale!" No one else has sounded that happy to see me in many many years.Before blogs even existed, Anna Quindlen became a go-to writer on the joys and challenges of family, motherhood, and modern life, in her nationally syndicated column. Now she's taking the next step and going full Nana in the pages of this lively, beautiful, and moving book about being a grandmother. Quindlen offers thoughtful and telling observations about her new role, no longer mother and decision-maker but secondary character and support to the parents of her grandson. She writes, "Where I once led, I have to learn to follow." Eventually a close friend provides words to live by: "Did they ask you?"Candid, funny, frank, and illuminating, Quindlen's singular voice has never been sharper or warmer. With the same insights she brought to motherhood in Living Out Loud and to growing older in Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake, this new nana uses her own experiences to illuminate those of many others.

    Essays 'bout charm, beauty and style, chewin' the fat, love, parenting, and more--full of yes ma'ams and no sirs, casseroles and cheese balls, taffeta and pom-poms . . . plus more Southern phrases than you can shake a stick at.If you're not from the South, bless your heart, pay attention cause there's a ton of wisdom to be found in these heartfelt, humorous ways. Southerners speak their own unique version of the English language, and you'll come to understand it in these pages. It's a linguistic art. And it's gooder than grits, y'all.South Carolina native, Julia Fowler, is the creator of YouTube's Southern Women Channel, home of the viral video series, Sh%t Southern Women Say. She is an actor, writer, and producer who has worked in television, film, and on Broadway. She currently resides in Venice Beach, California, and is generally irritated that it's void of proper fried okra. Visit her at www.southernwomenchannel.com.