He's a drifter, leaving a trail of fear and death from coast to coast. Although he has always successfully avoided capture, he is haunted by the memory of the Sheriff of Liberty, Virginia. The man died nearly catching Jack--in fact, it was only by dumb luck that Jack had escaped. And that's always bothered him. Now, he's returning to the small town to settle the score. In Liberty, David Beaumont can't wait to leave his small hometown. He's grown so tired of listening to the endless stories about what a great man his father had been, how he had saved their town from a killer, sacrificing his own life to save them. David's got his money together, he's quit his job, and he's leaving town. He's leaving it all behind him.The only problem is the killings have started again...and David's the only one that can stop them. Should he return to the small town he despises? And if he does, will he end up the way his father did--dead?

    Now he's inherited a billion dollar empire and a stake in a man-made island chain in the Gulf of Mexico. Trying to adjust to his new situation, he and his best friend, Paul Nelson, travel to the islands and soon find themselves being chased by killers, killer hippies and rhinos. They have no training. They can't trust anyone. But, they must escape and stop a plot that threatens America. Will they succeed? Will they live? Are rhinos nocturnal? Find out in Tortugas Rising, an action and adventure comedy by the author of Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors.

    Getting my son to wear pants is one; dealing with my snoozefest of a job is another. Then there’s the Beast, my freeloading brother who’s worn a permanent dent in the couch at my new place. And no fairytale would be complete without a smoking hot prince, of course. Too bad he’s a complete ass. Everything in me screams to steer clear of Nate Murphy. Because, if life has taught me anything, there is no such thing as happily ever after.Nate:I may not be a superhero, but I do my best to come to the rescue when I’m needed. And, hey, I just moved halfway across the country after a single phone call from my mom. But being back home and taking on the responsibilities involved makes me a bit cranky at times. Unfortunately, the one time I completely lose my cool is in front of the hottest girl I’ve ever met. I’ve got my work cut out for me if I’m going to fix this. But I will fix this. I’ll be anything Laney Monroe needs me to be … a superhero, a prince, or just a guy she might take a chance on.PLEASE NOTE: This product is a republication of the 2016 version of THE FIX. It contains special content and bonus scenes for an enhanced reader experience.

    Red-hot screwball comedies, each and every one of them. Nine of these stories were originally published by the Loveswept line between the years 1988 and 1992. All went out-of-print immediately and then could be found only at used bookstores and yard sales.I'm excited to tell you that those nine stories are now being re-released by HarperCollins. Love Overboard is second in the lineup, and it's presented here in almost original form. I've done only minor editing to correct some embarrassing bloopers missed the first time around. And I changed the title because I thought the original title (Ivan Takes a Wife) was boring!Love Overboard is a romantic tale about a handsome ship's captain; a wary wench from Jersey City; a hundred-year-old, two-masted schooner; and an entire town of shoemakers. There's some getting naked, some blueberry pie, more getting naked, and at the end . . . Okay, I won't tell you about the end, but it's really good and it'll make you feel happy.I took my family on the road trip from heck to research this book. When we finally got to Maine it was all worthwhile because we fell in love with the boats and the people who sailed them.Enjoy!

    To make matters worse, the North Pole is freezing, they have to wear skimpy outfits and their poor little legs get worn out quickly. When the Elvin Labor Union was formed, the poor little fairies were left out of any sort of fair bargaining agreement. The time has come for all of that to change. Everyone knows Christmas Eve is the best time to attack the North Pole. Santa’s getting ready to deliver toys, the elves are partying and the reindeer have finished playing their reindeer games. Can the legendary North Pole withstand yet another attack? Will Christmas come to a screeching halt? Join three stealthy fairies: Sydae, Araedae and Zannae, as they try to make life easier for all Sugar Plum Fairies. Will they be able to succeed in their mission? What’s happened to Santa? Will the elves stop the fairies from their task? And what secret is Mrs. Claus hiding from the world?

    When he wasn’t burning down parts of Berkeley or springing girlfriends from homes for unwed mothers, he was dodging gendarmes in Paris. So what sort of parent would that most outrageous of teenagers make? In this new installment of the acclaimed Twisp saga, 40-something Nick faces the daily trials of dealing with his own teenage son. When a move to California threatens to disrupt young Scott Twisp’s life, he reacts in the true Twispian spirit. Follow this wannabe “wanton lothario” as he conspires to meet the challenges of girls, sex, work, parents, TV stardom, and more. Also returning to complicate matters are Sheeni, Trent, Apurva, Vijay, Jake, Veeva, Uma, and the rest of C.D. Payne’s huge and colorful cast. Enjoy all seven books in the monumental Twisp saga: over a half-million words of hilarious mayhem! Note: Each book in the Nick Twisp series is a self-contained novel that can be enjoyed on its own. Familiarity with the other titles is not required.

    In this "terminally irreverent" ( "Richmond News-Leader" ) novel, he finds himself taking on everyone from his editor and his girlfriend to the fundamentalists and vegetarians covered on his beat - and along the way, learns some surprising (and hilarious) lessons about life, love, and the press. • Welter's "I Want to Buy a Vowel," also a Berkley Signature Edition, was named one of "Booklist's" Best Books of 1996. • Great reviews in the Berkley Signature Edition tradition. • The author has been compared to everyone from John Irving to Jonathan Swift, Frank Capra to Carl Hiaasen, John Kennedy Toole to Dave Barry.

    Fed up, one day he wills himself physically invisible, and the results are both sadly pathetic and hilariously funny.

    Donald Trump. Ivanka Trump. Hillary Clinton. Oprah. Barack Obama. Paul Ryan. Joe Biden. John Kerry. And a cast of thousands as the story behind the headlines you can't believe is exposed. Part political thriller, part soap opera, partially insane. The Deepest State was a viral hit - and this edition has the EXCLUSIVE, never before seen short story, "Enter the Bidenverse." Here's what they're saying about The Deepest State: "One of the greatest threads in Twitter history" – Richard Metzger "An amazing read" – A. Whitney Brown "Just keeps getting more amazing" – Jon Cryer "Amazing well written and riveting" – Merrill Markoe "This… is glorious" – Joy Reid "Epic, epic thread" – Jill Lawrence "A Twitter thread for the ages" – Marsha Warfield "Fucking brilliant" – Jeff Jarvis "Fantastic." – Steven Boyer "The most gorgeous thing I have read in a long time" – Penelope Patsuris "Good times" – Eliza Skinner "Comedy gold" – PJ Manney

    Julia, the girl you went out with last night, has been TAKEN HOSTAGE. What will you do? Will you go to the police and ask for help? Will you burst into the hideout, killing everyone in sight, then tell Julia that she shouldn’t misinterpret this as some sort of big commitment? Or will you unplug your phone and just get really, really drunk? The choice is yours!You awake to the sound of the phone ringing.“Hello?”You hear a man’s voice. It is muffled. “We’ve got Julia.”“Wait, what do you mean?”“We have kidnapped your girlfriend. If you ever want to see her again---”“Whoa, she’s not my girlfriend,” you say. “I just met her. I mean, I had a good time with her and all, but I wanna take it slow with this one, I think.”“We understand,” the voice says. “But she’s new to the city, and presently, you’re all she has. Give us fifty thousand dollars by tomorrow or we’ll blow her head off.”If you want to go and ask your parents if you can borrow fifty thousand dollars, go to page 173.If you want to have sex with your ex-girlfriend, consider getting back together with her, then think better of it, go to page 183.BE VERY CAREFUL! You’re directing the story and the CHOICES you make can result in MURDER, GRADUATE SCHOOL ENROLLMENT, TORTURE, MARRIAGE, POST-APOCALYPTIC SLAVERY, UNWANTED PREGNANCY, even TEMPING! It’s YOUR STORY and YOUR LIFE. All you’ve got to do is decide which page you want to turn to. JUST MAKE A CHOICE!

    In the last four years his TV show has become a number 1 ratings success and he's even making a movie.But Brendan has had to battle hard for success. The youngest of eleven children, his mother was Maureen O'Carroll, a former nun who went on to become the first woman to be elected to the Irish parliament. Brendan adored his strong, widowed mother—and she later became the inspiration for his indomitable character Agnes Brown.However, the family endured poverty reminiscent of Angela's Ashes and Brendan saw no option but to leave school at 12 to work. He married young and for decades struggled to make ends meet. Eventually, bankrupt and desperate, Brendan went to see a fortune teller who told him she could see his future achieving worldwide success as a comedian and actor. At first Brendan laughed at the notion, but then he thought of how much his friends loved his gags, and decided to give it a go...This is the magical story of how a loveable Irishman with a wig and a wit as caustic as battery acid surprised everyone—most of all himself—by becoming one of the best-loved comedians in the world.It is a story of hardship, heartbreak, and talent and will remind readers afresh that sometimes the facts can be even more extraordinary than the fiction.

    It stops the entire universe. For Michael, it tarnishes everything, including his badge. For Chet and his hostage, it is the beginning of a chase that will lead them through dingy motels and the darkest corridors of their minds. Dogan just wants Sara back. Jimmy the Cat wants to make up for all the time he has wasted. Frankie wants to live a 'moral' life, erasing everyone in his path who does not live up to his standards. Conventional notions of good and evil quickly blur as they are all forced to look into the mirrors they have avoided for so long. Chilling and horrifying, whimsical and wretched, Joe Café's cast of broken characters try to find their way in a world they never understood to begin with...for the Chens, it is easy. They are dead.

    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

    Pretentious web designers, reality show wannabes, and hipster party girls are among the characters populating a seemingly ordinary world teetering on the brink of chaos.

    Here's what some have said:- "I had a great time reading (and laughing out loud)"- "hard to put down, easy to pick up"- "funniest bumpy ride ever ... stand-up comics take note"- "Hilarious mishaps and thought-provoking reflections"- "I was fascinated from beginning to end" RVs, RVing, and how (NOT) to RV by a recovering New York psychoanalyst on a trip to nowhere in particular. Whether you're a woman traveling alone, a family looking for budget travel, or a retiree seeking adventure in retirement, here you'll find travel tips, camping advice, trip planning, how to buy an RV, and how to screw up on all of it, still have a great time, and maybe even change your life. These are the bloopers that most RVers won't tell you. If you're planning a road trip in a motor home, a travel trailer, or modified hearse these cautionary but inspirational tales will help you avoid the most common RVing mistakes. So you've waited until now to hit the road. That's OK, because here, finally, are the missing, very specific instructions on how NOT to do it but how to get out there anyway, how to have a great adventure, conquering fear one failure at a time.