Mean Girls


Micol Ostow - 2017
    But when her family moves to the suburbs of Illinois, she finds herself a stranger in a strange land: high school. With no prior research to guide her, Cady's forced to figure out North Shore High all on her own. Suddenly she finds herself sucked into Girl World as a new member of the social elite dubbed "The Plastics." Cady discovers that unlike the wild, Girl World doesn't have any rules--especially when you maybe, possibly, okay definitely, have a giant crush on their ruthless leader's ex-boyfriend. Turns out, life in high school might be even more brutal than a showdown on the Savannah.Based on the screenplay by Tina Fey, this retelling of the cult classic film includes tons of extra, never-before-seen bonus content.

The Seinfeld Scripts: The First and Second Seasons


Jerry Seinfeld - 1998
    George. Elaine. Kramer. We've followed their misadventures for nearly ten years on Thursday nights. Here, finally, are the scripts of the first two seasons that will take you back to the beginning of Seinfeld.Featuring the first 17 episodes ever aired, The Seinfeld Scripts contains all the great lines that have kept us laughing for years: the pilot episode, "The Seinfeld Chronicles," where it all began; George introduces his importer/exporter altar ego Art Vanderlay in "The Stakeout"; Kramer becomes obsessed with cantaloupe in "The Ex-Girlfriend"; Jerry and George meet Elaine's dad in "The Jacket"; is Jerry responsible for a poor Polish woman's death when he makes "The Pony Remark"?; Jerry and Elaine decide to become intimate again in "The Deal"; what will George do when he is banned from the executive bathroom in "The Revenge"?; and Jerry, George, and Elaine wait for a table in "The Chinese Restaurant."It's all here: the award-winning writing of Seinfeld, "the defining sitcom of our age". Created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld.Elaine: My roommate has Lyme disease. Jerry: Lyme disease? I thought she had Epstein-Barr syndrome? Elaine: She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr. It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease. George: She calls me up at my office she says, "We have to talk." Jerry: The four worst words in the English language. Kramer: What a body. Yeeaaah...that's for me. Jerry: Yeah and you're just what she's looking for, too--a stranger, leering through a pair of binoculars ten floors up.

Clovenhoof's Diary: December


Heide Goody - 2019
     Jeremy Clovenhoof has spent six years living the quiet life after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he’s partying hard because it’s the school holidays. Whether it’s his increasingly complex girlfriend situation, his creative attempts at Christmas on a budget or an over-decorated tree that will take things very personally, Clovenhoof will make this a Christmas for everybody to remember. Join Clovenhoof as he continues his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

That Hathaway Girl


Kate Harper - 2016
    The social whirl may be dizzying but there are pitfalls aplenty and Millie knows that the whole world is just waiting for her to do something scandalous. She's just that sort of girl. Fortunately, there are people who need rescuing, days that need saving and dark and brooding barons that need taking down a peg or two, so life isn't utterly dreary. Can she do the impossible and come through unscathed? Or will disaster finally catch her up? Whatever happens, Millie is determined to do things on her terms and if that means tackling the impossible; well, she's just the kind of girl who likes a challenge! Author note... well, putting up a book where the first two pages missed editorial changes was a bit of a clunker, but I have remedied (my profound apologies to anybody who bought the one with the dodgy first pages). I am happy to send a - relatively - flawless copy to anybody who has already purchased. Please email me at kate.l.deans@gmail.com. Gosh, I'm a goose!

Haunted Falls


Ken Farmer - 2013
    Marshal Bass Reeves in their first book, entitled "The Nations". The story continues in "Haunted Falls", the story of Bass Reeves as he joins other U.S. Marshals in pursuit of the infamous Dalton gang. It is full of adventure, romance, some history, excitement and a unique paranormal twist. You will not want to miss this sequel.

Breakfast at Tiffanys - screenplay


George Axelrod - 1960
    The film was directed by Blake Edwards and released by Paramount Pictures. It was based on the novella of the same name by Truman Capote.

Boogie Nights


Paul Thomas Anderson - 1998
    Deprived of love and respect from his family, Eddie is renamed 'Dirk Diggler' and conquers the world of porn, but manages to retain his essential innocence. As the turbulent seventies shade into the hedonistic eighties, Dirk's career goes into a tailspin; but he is rescued by the safety net of the extended family fostered by hard-core movie director Jack Horner.Paul Thomas Anderson's screenplay is exemplary in its ability to interweave the stories of its large cast of characters. In accord with the wisdom of the Roman dramatist Terence (who claimed, 'Nothing human is alien to me'), Anderson has engaged with a side of life widely considered to be irredeemably sleazy, and has mined humour, sadness and compassion out of his unlikely subject matter.

The Breakfast Club


John Hughes - 1992
    The storyline follows five teenagers (each a member of a different high school cliques) as they spend a Saturday in detention together and come to realize that they are all deeper than their respective stereotypes.

Cast Away: The Shooting Script


William Broyles Jr. - 2001
    So begins William Broyles, Jr.'s fascinating introduction, written exclusively for this book, about the process and challenges inherent in writing a screenplay that was not, by design, going to have a lot of dialogue in it, and about his collaboration with two extraordinarily gifted artists, actor Tom Hanks and director Robert Zemeckis.Broyles's introduction shows how a movie and its story evolve, shift, and shape while the creators grapple with all manner of internal and external choices: from developing what was Tom Hanks's idea into a story, and building a narrative structure and thematic threads into a screenplay, to researching the details of the specific—and ironic—situation of a FedEx executive stranded on a desert island.Also included in this unique Newmarket Shooting Script® edition is the complete shooting script, a preface to the script by Academy Award®-winning filmmaker Robert Zemeckis (Forrest Gump, Contact), movie stills, and complete cast and crew credits.

Sex Toys of the Gods


Christian McLaughlin - 1997
    But his luck turns when he is asked to house-sit wannabe but talentless actress Fawn Farrar's $10 million Beverly Hills estate. Capitalizing on his new position, he is soon befriended by his all-time favorite star, Marina Stetson, a Janis Joplin-esque singer just out of rehab and trying to make a comeback -- and whose husband Jason secretly covets.Adding to the drama is Jason's ex-roommate, the incredibly pretentious Tricia Cox, whose struggles to make it as a talent agent take a wrong turn when she contracts her meal ticket, the talented and beautiful Violet Cyr, to a hip-hop sitcom called "Chillin' with Billy."When Billy turns out to be a talking goat, all hell breaks loose. The trashy, hip young heroes suffer through humiliations galore before they have a chance to make it -- but not before Christian McLaughlin has laid bare in hilarious detail all the foibles and fumbles of a group of happening young people in La La Land in their shameless pursuit of fame, fortune -- and sex.

Free Roll


Brandt Tobler - 2017
    This book is written by a stand-up comedian that takes you through tragedy after tragedy on its path to hilarity. Will it make you laugh? Eventually. Will it make you cry? Probably. But the hope is that it will also make you smile, dream, and reflect, while simultaneously inspiring you to never stop chasing your dreams (even if your very own family is constantly trying to derail them). Brandt tells his life story with candor, detailing the many pit stops, wrong turns, crazy connections, and lucky breaks he experienced along the way to his comedy career, all while trying to balance a toxic relationship with his jailbird dad. Brandt's storytelling will make you laugh (it better because that's his job!) and believe, as he does, that when it comes to defining family, blood isn't always thicker than water.

Choir


Gareth Malone - 2012
    The hugely popular Gareth Malone recounts the heart-warming stories and transformations behind the award-winning BBC2 series The Choir

Four Weddings and a Funeral


Richard Curtis
    From the first spoken line to the last ("I do"), it's a jubilant celebration of friendship, romance, and good humor.

We're All A Mess, It's OK: A collection of funny essays and one-liners about the struggles of everyday life


Amy Lyle - 2018
    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

Gosford Park: The Shooting Script


Julian Fellowes - 2002
    It contains the original screenplay, production stills, and full credits for the country house murder mystery.