Gaslighting: The Narcissist's favorite tool of Manipulation - How to avoid the Gaslight Effect and Recovery from Emotional and Narcissistic Abuse


Theresa J. Covert - 2019
    The Gaslight Effect is not officially recognised, nor is it widely even known.Even when it is accepted, recognised and known not many people seem to know what to DO ABOUT IT to heal it… The fact is being in a relationship with a narcissist over a long period of time has long lasting traumatic effects that can be extremely catastrophic to the person suffering them.DO THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS SOUND FAMILIAR?- Doubting yourself and your sanity- Feeling like you’re losing your mind- Feeling like you’re always apologizing- You’re second-guessing your memory- Feeling like you aren’t good enough- Feeling misunderstood- Feeling lonely- Ruined self confidence- Extreme weight loss or weight gain- Uncharacteristic jealousy/ insecurity- Feeling like you don’t know the difference between right and wrong- Extreme paranoia (being turned into an obsessive detective)- Endless, repetitive obsessive thinking about your ex- Constantly trying to find explanations for what has happened- Feelings of helplessness and despair- A desire to self isolate- Feeling desperately misunderstood- Overwhelming feelings of loss and grief- Extreme bouts of rage- An inability to be comfortable with yourself- Strange dreams- Sudden inexplicable anxiety followed by rapid dips into depressionThe list goes on….“NOBODY UNDERSTANDS!”I hear this frustrated cry from abused people a lot.Gaslighting is a covert aggressive way of distorting another person’s perception of reality to the point that that person questions their sanity or their memory.Gaslighting is crazy-making, it makes you think that you’re actually going crazy.Gaslighting is a way of hiding the abuse.Gaslighting is lying with a goal.The motive behind the gaslighting is to make you think that you’re crazy or that your memory doesn’t work right. So you can’t trust yourself and your perceptions of reality.This means you’ll defer to the abuser for an account of what’s real so slowly over time the abuser becomes the authority over your life.Gaslighting takes place in relationships, like one-on-one relationships. It takes place in friendships, in family, in work, you’ll see gaslighting on the news, you’ll hear gaslighting coming from politicians, corporate shills, cult leaders, advertising commercials, etc.WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:- Top 10 Signs You're Being Manipulated with Gaslighting- 80 Things Narcissists Say During Gaslighting- Six Empowering Ways to Disarm a Narcissist and Take Control- How to Avoid Mental Manipulation- How to Deal with the Effects of Gaslighting- How Narcissists Employ Smart Devices        WHAT YOU NEED NOW:- Someone who has been through the same experiences you have and understands them from the inside.-Someone who has the knowledge, training, education and experience working on himself and others to lead you through the emotional sh*tstorm that breaking with a narcissist can create.

Letting Go of Shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Life


Ronald T. Potter-Efron - 1989
    This book helps us recognize shame for what it is, and affirm our basic humanity, humility, autonomy, and competence.As we identify shame and use recovery skills to work through it, Letting Go of Shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Life helps to explain the emotion of shame and its impact on our self-image and relationships. The authors offer us a way that we can personalize a plan of action to help build our self-esteem, and they suggest exercises to help us identify our feelings of shame.

Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships


Daniel Goleman - 2006
    Now, once again, Daniel Goleman has written a groundbreaking synthesis of the latest findings in biology and brain science, revealing that we are “wired to connect” and the surprisingly deep impact of our relationships on every aspect of our lives.Far more than we are consciously aware, our daily encounters with parents, spouses, bosses, and even strangers shape our brains and affect cells throughout our bodies—down to the level of our genes—for good or ill. In Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman explores an emerging new science with startling implications for our interpersonal world. Its most fundamental discovery: we are designed for sociability, constantly engaged in a “neural ballet” that connects us brain to brain with those around us.Our reactions to others, and theirs to us, have a far-reaching biological impact, sending out cascades of hormones that regulate everything from our hearts to our immune systems, making good relationships act like vitamins—and bad relationships like poisons. We can “catch” other people’s emotions the way we catch a cold, and the consequences of isolation or relentless social stress can be life-shortening. Goleman explains the surprising accuracy of first impressions, the basis of charisma and emotional power, the complexity of sexual attraction, and how we detect lies. He describes the “dark side” of social intelligence, from narcissism to Machiavellianism and psychopathy. He also reveals our astonishing capacity for “mindsight,” as well as the tragedy of those, like autistic children, whose mindsight is impaired.Is there a way to raise our children to be happy? What is the basis of a nourishing marriage? How can business leaders and teachers inspire the best in those they lead and teach? How can groups divided by prejudice and hatred come to live together in peace? The answers to these questions may not be as elusive as we once thought. And Goleman delivers his most heartening news with powerful conviction: we humans have a built-in bias toward empathy, cooperation, and altruism–provided we develop the social intelligence to nurture these capacities in ourselves and others.From the Trade Paperback edition.

The Setpoint Diet: The 21-Day Program to Permanently Change What Your Body "Wants" to Weigh


Jonathan Bailor - 2018
    Your body fights to keep you within a range of about 15 pounds -- also known as your "setpoint weight." New research reveals that you can lower your setpoint and end that battle for good by focusing on the quality of calories you eat, not the quantity. With The Setpoint Diet, you will reprogram your body with a 21-day plan to rev up your metabolism, eliminate inflammation, heal your hormones, repair your gut, and get your body working like that of a naturally thin person -- permanently. The Setpoint Diet is a lower-carb menu that focuses on specific anti-inflammatory whole foods, including tons of produce, nutritious proteins, and therapeutic fats. Its creator, Jonathan Bailor, founded SANESolution, a weight loss company that has reached millions of people. Proven to help you lose weight naturally and maintain it, The SetpointDiet is your new blueprint for healthy living.

Minimalist Budget: Simple Strategies On How To Save More, Spend Less, And Curb Spending Temptation (Without Living On Ramen)


Zoe McKey - 2017
    Minimalist Budget will help you to turn your bloated expenses into a well-toned budget, spending on exactly what you need and nothing else. This book presents solutions for two major problems in our consumer society: (1) how to downsize your cravings without having to sacrifice the fun stuff, and (2) how to whip your finances into shape and follow a personalized budget. This is not a get rich quick book. But I can promise day-by-day, month-by-month, you’ll budget better and become richer as a consequence. Regardless of how much your income is we’ll find a way to budget, save, and increase your net worth. Since my youth, I’ve had to live on a budget that ranged from $100 to $200 a month if I was lucky. Even though I never knew how much I would have the next month, I was always able to have enough for my essential expenses, personal pleasures, and savings. If you’re tired of the false and impossible-to-follow promises of “finance gurus,” try out my simple, straightforward, easy-to-stick-to methods. Improve your spending habits: • Incorporate minimalism into your finances • How to avoid becoming a minimalist consumerist • Learn the psychological traps that make you overspend • Control your compulsive spending habits Feel financially secure every day: • Learn about two A-Z budgeting methods and how to make them work for you • Learn ratio-based budgeting and fixed-amount budgeting • Discover the best budgeting software programs • Design a bulletproof savings strategy to get out of debt, be prepared for emergencies, and set yourself up for retirement Stop hating your financial life: • Learn how to set SMART financial goals • Increase your self-confidence with budgeting • 50 small budgeting tips Financial education is not part of our educational system. It is normal that we don’t know how to budget when we step into the craziness we call adulthood. But it is not normal to stay ignorant about a field of life that (like it or not) guarantees our material survival. Money management is an essential skill for everybody who earns, shops or consumes. If you follow the budgeting tips in this book, you’ll be able to keep track of your finances. You’ll clearly know where your money goes, where it comes from and where can you save. You won’t feel stressed of running out of money unexpectedly, you’ll clear yourself out of debts and have savings for bigger expenses like a vacation, new car or unexpected events. Leave money struggles for yesterday. Grab a copy of Minimalist Budget by hitting buy now in the top right corner of this page.

Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works


Evelyn Tribole - 1995
    But the problem is not you, it's that dieting, with its emphasis on rules and regulations, has stopped you from listening to your body. Written by two prominent nutritionists, "Intuitive Eating" focuses on nurturing your body rather than starving it, encourages natural weight loss, and helps you find the weight you were meant to be. Learn: *How to reject diet mentality forever*How our three Eating Personalities define our eating difficulties*How to feel your feelings without using food*How to honor hunger and feel fullness*How to follow the ten principles of Intuitive Eating, step-by-step*How to achieve a new and safe relationship with food and, ultimately, your body With much more compassionate, thoughtful advice on satisfying, healthy living, this newly revised edition also includes a chapter on how the Intuitive Eating philosophy can be a safe and effective model on the path to recovery from an eating disorder.

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving


Pete Walker - 2013
    I also wrote it from the viewpoint of someone who has discovered many silver linings in the long, windy, bumpy road of recovering from Cptsd. I felt encouraged to write this book because of thousands of e-mail responses to the articles on my website that repeatedly expressed gratitude for the helpfulness of my work. An often echoed comment sounded like this: At last someone gets it. I can see now that I am not bad, defective or crazy…or alone! The causes of Cptsd range from severe neglect to monstrous abuse. Many survivors grow up in houses that are not homes – in families that are as loveless as orphanages and sometimes as dangerous. If you felt unwanted, unliked, rejected, hated and/or despised for a lengthy portion of your childhood, trauma may be deeply engrained in your mind, soul and body. This book is a practical, user-friendly self-help guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma, and to achieving a rich and fulfilling life. It is copiously illustrated with examples of my own and my clients’ journeys of recovering. This book is also for those who do not have Cptsd but want to understand and help a loved one who does. This book also contains an overview of the tasks of recovering and a great many practical tools and techniques for recovering from childhood trauma. It extensively elaborates on all the recovery concepts explained on my website, and many more. However, unlike the articles on my website, it is oriented toward the layperson. As such, much of the psychological jargon and dense concentration of concepts in the website articles has been replaced with expanded and easier to follow explanations. Moreover, many principles that were only sketched out in the articles are explained in much greater detail. A great deal of new material is also explored. Key concepts of the book include managing emotional flashbacks, understanding the four different types of trauma survivors, differentiating the outer critic from the inner critic, healing the abandonment depression that come from emotional abandonment and self-abandonment, self-reparenting and reparenting by committee, and deconstructing the hierarchy of self-injuring responses that childhood trauma forces survivors to adopt. The book also functions as a map to help you understand the somewhat linear progression of recovery, to help you identify what you have already accomplished, and to help you figure out what is best to work on and prioritize now. This in turn also serves to help you identify the signs of your recovery and to develop reasonable expectations about the rate of your recovery. I hope this map will guide you to heal in a way that helps you to become an unflinching source of kindness and self-compassion for yourself, and that out of that journey you will find at least one other human being who will reciprocally love you well enough in that way.

Enemies of the Heart: Breaking Free from the Four Emotions That Control You


Andy Stanley - 2011
    Divorce. Job loss. Estrangement from family members. Broken friendships. The difficult circumstances you are dealing with today are likely being fed by one of four emotional forces that compels you to act in undesirable ways, sometimes even against your will. Andy Stanley explores each of these destructive forces?guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy?and how they infiltrate your life and damage your relationships. He says that left unchallenged they have the power to destroy your home, your career, and your friendships. In Enemies of the Heart, Andy offers practical, biblical direction to help you fight back, to take charge of those feelings that mysteriously control you, and to restore your broken relationships.

The Art of Noticing: 131 Ways to Spark Creativity, Find Inspiration, and Discover Joy in the Everyday


Rob Walker - 2019
    Our lives are in constant tether to phones, to email, and to social media. In this age of distraction, the ability to experience and be present is often lost: to think and to see and to listen.Enter Rob Walker's The Art of Noticing--an inspiring volume that will help you see the world anew. Through a series of simple and playful exercises--131 of them--Walker maps ways for you to become a clearer thinker, a better listener, a more creative workplace colleague, and finally, to rediscover what really matters to you.

The Stranger in the Mirror: Dissociation--the Hidden Epidemic


Marlene Steinberg - 2000
    You feel as if you're going through the motions of life or you're watching a movie of yourself.These are all symptoms of dissociation -- a debilitating psychological condition involving feelings of disconnection that affects 30 million people in North America and often goes untreated. The Stranger in the Mirror offers unique guidelines for identifying and recovering from dissociative symptoms based on Dr. Marlene Steinberg's breakthrough diagnostic test. Filled with fascinating case histories of people with multiple personalities, this book provides enlightening insights into how all of us respond to trauma and overcome it. Her innovative method of treatment will benefit anyone in search of a healthier sense of self and a heightened capacity for joy.

Treating Complex Traumatic Stress Disorders (Adults): An Evidence-Based Guide


Christine A. Courtois - 2009
    Contributors review the research that supports the conceptualization of complex traumatic stress as distinct from PTSD. They explore the pathways by which chronic trauma can affect psychological development, attachment security, and adult relationships. Chapters describe evidence-based assessment tools and an array of treatment models for individuals, couples, families, and groups.See also Drs. Courtois and Ford's authored book, Treatment of Complex Trauma, which presents their own therapeutic approach for adult clients in depth, and their edited volume Treating Complex Traumatic Stress Disorders in Children and Adolescents.

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk: The Foolproof Way to Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind


John Van Epp - 2008
    I heartily recommend it. --Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You FindDon't be part of the 'where-was-this-book-when-I-needed-it?' crowd. It's not too late--read it now! --Pat Love, Ed.D., author of The Truth About Love and Hot MonogamyBased on years of research on marital and premarital happiness, How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk (previously published in hardcover as How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk) will help you break destructive dating patterns that have kept you from finding the love you deserve:Ask the right questions to inspire meaningful, revealing conversations with your partnerJudge character based on compatibility, relationships skills, friends, and patterns from family and previous relationshipsResolve your own emotional baggage so you're ready for a healthy relationship

The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity


Nadine Burke Harris - 2018
    Nadine Burke Harris was already known as a crusading physician delivering targeted care to vulnerable children. But it was Diego — a boy who had stopped growing after a sexual assault — who galvanized her journey to uncover the connections between toxic stress and lifelong illnesses.The news of Burke Harris’s research is just how deeply our bodies can be imprinted by ACEs—adverse childhood experiences like abuse, neglect, parental addiction, mental illness, and divorce. Childhood adversity changes our biological systems, and lasts a lifetime.  For anyone who has faced a difficult childhood, or who cares about the millions of children who do, the scientific insight and innovative, acclaimed health interventions in The Deepest Well represent hope for preventing lifelong illness for those we love and for generations to come​.

Superhero Therapy: Mindfulness Skills to Help Teens and Young Adults Deal with Anxiety, Depression, and Trauma


Janina Scarlet - 2017
    Within these colorful pages, you’ll team up with a group of troubled heroes—inspired by both fictional characters and real-life people—enlisted at the Superhero Training Academy. By learning to face up to their inner villains and monsters, these characters will inspire you to overcome your problems as well. When you’re finished, you’ll have a slew of new tools you can use—like mindfulness, self-compassion, and values—to help you conquer whatever life throws your way.Sometimes life is hard, and it takes super inner super strength to succeed and reach your goals. With this fun and unique guide under your belt, nothing will stand in your way.

Radical Frugality: Living in America on $8,000 a Year


Nic Adams - 2011
    Radical Frugality tells the story of 5 people who did it: Paul, 27, discovering how to overcome student loan debt; David and Winona, late 40's, living their retirement dream today; and Dan and Charlotte, family of 4, with an underwater mortgage. Waking up every morning debt-free with cash in your pocket helps your brain feel safe, secure, and smart. Embracing the concepts in this book frees you from the overwhelming anxiety of the consumer lifestyle by showing you how to take control. You can start today. What if you could spend 66% less money than you spend today setting yourself up to live a self-determined lifestyle doing exactly what you love to do regardless of financial compensation? Radical Frugality shows you exactly how to achieve those goals within one to five years. Using our step-by-step common sense plan, we teach you what to do (break the spell of the consumer credit con), when to do it (planning and preparation), and most importantly where to do it (discover the 5 top cities for living frugally). We'll help you evaluate your financial situation. Are you in the Yellow Zone, the Orange Zone, the Red Zone, or even the Dead Zone (paying debt with debt)? This book lays out a plan for how to pay off your debt and get into the Neutral Zone (getting back to monthly break-even), the Green Zone (debt free with $1,000 a month free cash-flow) or even the Golden Zone (living a self-determined life). Whether you are desperate right now about your financial situation, facing retirement, just starting out, or just plain tired and worn-out from struggling to pay bills, Radical Frugality can show you over 100 tips for feeling better today. Radical Frugality offers a soup to nuts plan for living a self-determined life that will leave you happier and healthier than ever before. CHAPTER ONE: IT'S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU EARN—IT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU SPEND. HOW TO TAKE CONTROL CHAPTER TWO: THE CONSUMER CREDIT CON. HOW MARKETERS PLAY TRICKS ON YOUR BRAIN CHAPTER THREE: WHY FRUGALITY? GETTING STRAIGHT ABOUT WHY YOU'RE ON THE PLANET CHAPTER FOUR: WHO ARE YOU TODAY? EVALUATE YOUR SPENDING PROFILE CHAPTER FIVE: HOW TO DO IT. YOUR STEP BY STEP PLAN TO GAIN CONTROL CHAPTER SIX: GOING GREEN AND NEVER LOOKING BACK. THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON CASH CHAPTER SEVEN: WHEN WILL YOU BE READY? LEARNING TO ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS CHAPTER EIGHT: LIVING THE DREAM. WHERE YOU LIVE DETERMINES HOW YOU LIVE