Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    For a price.

    I never miss a meal."-Dan Piraro, cartoonist of Bizarro We've all been forced to endure jobs we don't like. We get up, go to work, go to bed, and do it again. No one knows these pains better than Doug Savage, whose dream of being a cartoonist was eclipsed by his ho- hum office job. That is, until he started doodling chicken cartoons on Post-its and turned them into one of the Internet's most popular cartoon blogs. "Savage Chickens" is a collection of cartoons starring Doug's beloved chickens and their officemates that will get a laugh out of even the most jaded number-crunching colleague. Doug blends cynicism, optimism, and interactive activities to create a portable pep talk for the overworked and underappreciated that will keep you sane-and amused- during the morning bus ride, the meeting-filled Monday, the tenth load of laundry, the bathroom break, or the red-eye to the coast.Watch a Video

    To divulge the private confession would violate holy canon law. When he refuses to go to the police, people begin to die, and the priest becomes the prime suspect. Elizabeth Monroe, a college professor who teaches forensic psychology, doesn’t believe the elder priest fits the killer’s profile. Elizabeth discovers a frightening thread woven within each killing—a thread that began thirty years ago. To stop the murders, she has to find where the seed of evil was first planted. Because the roots are penetrating deep within a small Mississippi town and they’re spreading dangerously close to Elizabeth.

    Gantz G is violent, horrifying, and shockingly adult, a jaw-dropping vision of relentless intensity and singular imagination.The last survivors of the Gantz G team confront the alluring mermaid alien who, when challenged, is far more bestial than beautiful. The team hope to earn enough points to resurrect their murdered comrades, but they risk being ripped to shreds in what seems like a certain suicide mission!

    But for Ray, a quiet young woman with special powers of her own, the order is always the same: a hot tea with a delicious side of romance.

    2080 AD“I think we can rule out suicide.”“How so?”“You’re standing on his pancreas.”It is Joe Dredd’s first year as a full-eagle Judge.He may have been created from the genes of Eustace Fargo, the ‘Father of Justice’, and thus part of an illustrious lineage, but right now Dredd is not long graduated from the Academy, and yet to establish himself as the metropolis’s toughest, greatest cop.His reputation will be moulded in the years ahead, but at the moment he’s a young lawman, fresh on the streets.The brutal murder of a Justice Department-sanctioned spy sparks an investigation that will see Dredd trawl the criminal underworld in the hunt for the killer – and he will discover that all is not what it seems in the sector’s murky black market. Something new has entered the system, and unless Dredd can stop it, chaos will be unleashed...Written by Matthew Smith, editor in chief of 2000 AD, this is the first in a new series of Judge Dredd: Year One titles and goes back to the beginning of Dredd’s life on the streets, explores his earliest cases and charts the development of the man who would go on to become the most famous of all the Judges.Smith has previously written the novels Judge Dredd: The Final Cut, and Tomes of the Dead: The Words of Their Roaring.

    Once you have been there, you will never be the same. Read 3 of the most important historical novels that will take you back to some of AFRICA’S most notable and captivating periods. The super addictive trilogy starts here. Ready for the ride? Book 1: Cry of the Fish Eagle Rupert’s family is happy and at peace. But a vulnerable future is ahead. Chaos is coming. The Rhodesian War is looming… Rupert escapes to Rhodesia from the bloody conflict that is terrorising Europe. His mission is not just duty-driven but a promise to look for an orphaned, young girl. It’s a futile search and with time running out he has no choice but to re-join the theatre of war. When peace returns Rupert travels back to Rhodesia to begin anew, to find the orphaned girl and to start a new life. But nothing can prepare him for what is next as we helplessly watch Rupert wade against a chaotic tide of nationalism. Book 2: Vultures in the Wind Luke was close to death. He had been beaten mercilessly and was unrecognisable. They wanted the names of his ANC accomplices. Matthew Gray and Luke Mbeki were born on the same day, spending a brief childhood on an African beach, blissfully ignorant of the outside world. But their youth is severed. Released into the real world, the two now face their future in a country deep in the throes of violent change. Can the rules and discipline of discrimination pull the men apart? Is there any mercy? And what happens when these two eventually cross paths? Book 3: Just the Memory of Love Will he ever find his love again or will she always just be a memory? The war is finally over and for the young and naïve Will Langton, his future is full of exciting adventure and happy dreams. Captivated by a brief, but innocent love affair on the rocks of Dancing Ledge, the romance is shattered in one single moment and she is lost to him. For Will, it's an unbearable pain that he cannot hope to escape from and the only means to assuage his sorrow is to run away… to Africa. “It was as if I was reading my own life, knowing all the areas. I loved it.” “Deeply moving and entertaining read.” “Peter Rimmer writes a very interesting story with good detail on what happened in Southern Africa prior to independence.” “A gripping story that will stay with you long after the end of the book....” Grab your copy today

    And it's Lydia Lopez's first night behind the front desk. Every guest's got a story to tell and a lesson to learn... Co-written by film and music superstar Machine Gun Kelly with Eliot Rahal (Archie Comics) and Ryan Cady (DC Comics). Art by Martin Morazzo (Ice Cream Man) and a host of talented illustrators.

    Archie 1000 Page Comics-Palooza collects 1000 pages of new and classic Archie tales in our biggest collection ever, with over 100 full-color stories featuring America's favorite red-head and friends navigating the pressures and pratfalls of teenagers everywhere!

    An epic SF war story spanning space and time, The Forever War explores one soldier's experience caught up in the brutal machinery of a war that reaches across the stars.

    “Eggman” Robotnik and the rest of the cast of the comics and SEGA games in this first-of-its-kind Best of Sonic the Hedgehog graphic novel collection! After nearly twenty years of comics, specials and mini-series, Sonic the Hedgehog has hundreds of great stories to his name. Through the laughs and thrills, the action and adventure, the highs and lows, some stories stand out among the rest. Join us as the Archie Comics Sonic Team picks their favorite stories from the history of the series and presents them in this thematic must-have collection! Included in this collection are "Mecha Madness" (featured in Sonic Archives 10 and Sonic Select 2), chosen by writer Ian Flynn; the finale to "Endgame" (featured in Sonic Archives 13), chosen by artist Patrick Spaziante; "Order from Chaos" (from Sonic the Hedgehog issues 168-169) chosen by artist Tracy Yardley!; and "Future Tense" (from Sonic the Hedgehog issue 215), chosen by artist Jamal Peppers. Don't miss out on this collection of the best Sonic stories to date, chosen by the most popular Sonic creators!

    But that's the easy part. The hard part is trying to raise her two teenage sons, Tyrell and Yusuf. She loves to read-- they'd rather play video games. She likes to eat healthy -- they'd rather eat junk food. She loves ol' school music -- they listen to hip hop. But it would all be worth it if they ever came to realize that all she wants to do is to keep them happy and safe. Based on the popular Mama's Boyz syndicated comic strip.