Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    In the same village, Donald is the aggressive distillery owner, who floods the country with narcotics alongside his single malt; when his son goes missing, he becomes haunted by an anonymous American investor intent on purchasing the Cullrothes Distillery by any means necessary. Schoolgirl Jessie is trying to get the grades to escape to the mainland, while Grandpa counts the days left in his life.This is a place where mountains are immense and the loch freezes in winter. A place with only one road in and out. With long storms and furious midges and a terrible phone signal. The police are compromised, the journalists are scum, and the innocent folk of Cullrothes tangle themselves in a fermenting barrel of suspicion, malice and lies.The Mash House uses multiple narratives to weave together the parallel lives of individuals in the village. Each fractured by the fears and uncertainty in their own minds.

    Told with disarming honesty, the book propels the reader into the mind of an addict and shows us the depths of degradation one man sunk to before finding the inner strength to save himself.Terry Donaldson met with success early in life but his struggle with addiction soon became an all-out war. His Jekyll and Hyde lifestyle – TV presenter by day, whilst he scoured the streets of London in search of drugs and prostitutes by night – caused him to lose everything.Facing financial ruin, he agreed to smuggle drugs from Barbados, but was caught and sent to one of the world’s worst prisons, where he remained for over 3 years. Honest and disturbing, Hell in Barbados is the true story of how Donaldson witnessed stabbings, beatings, shootings and a full scale riot as the prison went up in flames.
In this extraordinary book, he describes the true horror of prison life in the Caribbean, the depravity that brought him there, and the years of brutality he was forced to endure.

    A young man wants Cyril shot dead but receives a nasty scar and a few injuries that sets him on a path of revenge.Little does he know that all the time he was being raised a lord, Cyril Reardon was being raised a gangster.Only one of them is a gentleman. Only one of them plays the cards they were dealt.

    

    There’s Killer of the Cloth, The Baby in the Convent, Mosquito Point Road, Death of a First Baseman, The Blue Gardenia, and Pure/Evil. Three of the killers are female.

    This is no ordinary hairdresser. Viv Fraser Ph.D and stylist to the Edinburgh establishment, has a double life as an investigative journalist and finds herself involved in some hair-raising, not to mention explosive scenes, as she trawls the seamier side of her city. In this fast-paced mystery Viv investigates the case of a missing teenage boy, but her efforts are hampered by people trying to save their own skin. Always top of his class, Andrew’s school blazer turns up on a river path without him. As she picks at the veneer of the Capital’s gay scene Viv discovers an unsavoury mix of lies, jealousy and sexual deceit. Determined to find Andrew, she ignores threats on her life and continues to dig in places that even Detective Marconi has yet to explore.

    

    Out in the bishop’s diocese the quiet life of parish priest Father Vincent Ross is about to be thrown into turmoil by a terrifying revelation. There are ugly scandals being hidden by the church he has served for so long, and a murderer is on the prowl. The police and the authorities are groping in the dark, but Father Ross has been given special information that he cannot disclose to anyone. It gradually dawns on him that he and he alone can unravel the mystery and bring the nightmare of violence to an end. He must put his personal safety, his reputation, and finally his life on the line.

    

    Women were being abducted and murdered, then their corpses were displayed in open shallow graves. Marshall's FBI partner, Jessie Kent, was taken. During the hunt for her, Marshall tracked the killer down, but he was shot five times and left for dead. Less than an hour later, the killer took his own life. None of the remaining victims were ever found. Until now. A female detective comes down to Marshall's home town to ask for his help. Somebody has found the decomposed victims and is displaying them. Despite no longer being with the FBI, Marshall sees this as a chance to find Jessie, and take her home for a proper burial. And to lay to rest the feelings of guilt he's been carrying for the past four years. He agrees to go back with Dani Fox, but it's soon clear somebody doesn't want him back in town. He's warned off, but he ignores it. Then the killings start. Somebody has just accelerated the game from displaying corpses to adding new victims. And this time, he's making it personal...

    He just wanted a quiet life. Something his mother was not going to allow. There again he never for one moment imagined he would have to look into the death of a 90-year-old lady who was gambling away her family fortune. The Hayden Detective Agency has no need of clients. The very existence of the Agency allows Martin Hayden to claim his large monthly allowance from the family fortune - without lifting a finger. Martin’s biggest problem is his interfering mother, who understands her idle son too well. She takes steps to find him not just clients but also a personal assistant to keep an eye on him. Under pressure from the women in his life, Martin agrees to take on his first client. How hard can it be to follow a 90-year-old woman who spends her time losing money at roulette tables? As it turns out harder than Martin ever thought possible, especially with the old lady dying in strange circumstances. Soon the Reluctant Detective is grappling with shady estate agents, an intellectual artist, missing charity money and an irritating Indian waiter. Luckily for Martin there is help in the form of Colin, a transvestite who, apart from having very good fashion sense, is an expert at breaking into houses.

    When her gangster boyfriend Tim is sent down, Susie Jones’ life is thrown into turmoil.Left to run his criminal empire, Susie finds solace in new acquaintances made in Strangeways Visitors’ Centre with unforeseen consequences.

    All eyes are upon SHO Syna, the lead investigator who stakes her career over the case, when she receives letters from The Stalker. Akash Paul, an ingenious detective tags along with authorities to aid in the case and avenge his uncle's death.Ten years, three mass-murders, one serial Killer, an undiscovered pattern and just one name ; The Stalker.A comeback after 5 years! Evidence pointed in the direction of the psycho genius, too many similarities to be ruled out! New quotes with hidden messages are uncovered, there lies just one question for Syna and Akash, after all these years, will they be able to make a difference and end the chase? Or would the identity of The Stalker remain undiscovered forever?Can you handle the thrill waiting for you inside this book?About the Author:Harsh Adani is an aspiring entrepreneur. He started writing during his 9th grade and is personally mentored by a well-known National speaker, Hetal Khona. The Case of Known Unknown is his first self-published novel; it is the beginning of a projected series. In the past, he has been published in some known anthologies. Between work and studies, Harsh spends his time writing, watching anime and dwelling into the mysteries of the past. He resides in Mumbai and loves to connect with his readers.

    Contains all 8 episodes of the international sensation THE INCIDENT, a Sam Jameson Serial Thriller. Where do you run when even the good guys want you dead? Special Agent Sam Jameson is having a bad week. People are trying to kill her.
 
That would be business as usual in the counterespionage world, except that it’s the good guys who have her in the crosshairs. Why are the DC Metro police trying to kidnap her? Do her bosses at Homeland want her in a body bag, too? And why does everyone she talks to seem to end up in the morgue? Will a ruthless mercenary, a hapless American traitor, and a dead man’s cryptic clue hold the key to Sam’s survival? As the noose tightens around her neck, Sam must uncover a brutal and deadly conspiracy before she becomes its next victim. Interview with author Lars Emmerich Q - So, what makes the Special Agent Sam Jameson series special? A - It's a mix of things, really. When I set out to write these books, I wanted to create something that mirrored exactly the kind of books I like to read. My top picks are usually espionage and private detective novels, any of the thousands of thrillers and mysteries best sellers, and, of course, books featuring classic pulp heroes. I also like heroes with problems and villains who are frighteningly human, maybe a little too much like us. The Sam Jameson books are a mix of these genres. The series focuses on the mystery and thriller / espionage genre overall, with a couple of themes borrowed from financial thrillers thrown in for good measure, a healthy dose of the stuff that makes political thrillers great, and a serial killer novel or two to keep things interesting. Why such a mixing of themes? Because life isn't monolithic and book genres are arbitrary. There's murder in spy novels and there's espionage in political conspiracy thrillers. Overall, the Sam Jameson series is designed to keep you turning the pages. I've done my best to make sure there's never a dull moment, and I think Sam's chutzpah and attitude makes for good entertainment. But I'm probably a little biased. Q - What order should I read the books in? A - I’ve written the series so you can read the books in any order, and all the story threads will tie up nicely by the time you're finished. The Incident is a standalone story, and it occurs before the Devolution series. If you do want to read them in order, I'd suggest the following sequence: - The Incident Season 1 - The Incident Season 2 - Devolution - Meltdown - Mindscrew - Balls Deep (A Peter Kittredge espionage and suspense thriller) Q - So, why should readers give these books a try? A - Because the Sam Jameson series is a fast, fun thrill-ride that never lets up! Each of the books has hit the top ten bestsellers list on Kindle for Women Sleuths, and each have been featured on Amazon's Thrillers 100 Must Reads list - which is no mean feat. Ultimately, readers who enjoy a blazing pace, characters with depth and distinctive voices, and a plot that twists and turns all the way to the end will enjoy this series.