Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again: Women and Desire in the Age of Consent


Katherine Angel - 2021
    They are told that in the name of sexual consent and feminist empowerment, they must proclaim their desires clearly and confidently. Sex researchers tell us that women don't know what they want. And men are on hand to persuade women that what they want is, in fact, exactly what men want. In this environment, how can women possibly know what they want—and how can they be expected to?In this elegantly written, searching book Katherine Angel surveys medical and psychoanalytic understandings of female desire, from Freud to Kinsey to present-day science; MeToo-era debates over consent, assault, and feminism; and popular culture, TV, and film to challenge our assumptions about female desire. Why, she asks, do we expect desire to be easily understood? Why is there not space for the unsure, the tentative, the maybe, the let's just see? In contrast to the endless exhortation to know what we want, Angel proposes that sex can be a conversation, requiring insight, interaction, and mutual vulnerability—a shared collaboration into the unknown.In this crucial moment of renewed attention to violence and power, Angel urges that we remake our thinking about sex, pleasure, and autonomy without any illusions of perfect self-knowledge. Only then will we bring about Michel Foucault's sardonic promise, in 1976, that "tomorrow sex will be good again."

What We Will Become: A Mother, a Son, and a Journey of Transformation


Mimi Lemay - 2019
    From the age of two-and-a-half, Jacob, born “Em,” adamantly told his family he was a boy. While his mother Mimi struggled to understand and come to terms with the fact that her child may be transgender, she experienced a sense of déjà vu—the journey to uncover the source of her child’s inner turmoil unearthed ghosts from Mimi’s past and her own struggle to live an authentic life.       Mimi was raised in an ultra-Orthodox Jewish family, every aspect of her life dictated by ancient rules and her role as a woman largely preordained from cradle to grave. As a young woman, Mimi wrestled with the demands of her faith and eventually made the painful decision to leave her religious community and the strict gender roles it upheld.   Having risen from the ashes of her former life, Mimi was prepared to help her son forge a new one — at a time when there was little consensus on how best to help young transgender children. Dual narratives of faith and motherhood weave together to form a heartfelt portrait of an unforgettable family. Brimming with love and courage, What We Will Become is a powerful testament to how painful events from the past can be redeemed to give us hope for the future.

In Search of Silence


Poorna Bell - 2019
    That love wins the day. That marriage is the rescue to an otherwise unhappy existence. That children are the natural progression of any relationship. But really, is it? Are we actually being honest with ourselves about the expectations we have set for ourselves? Are we able to distinguish between what we really need from life, from everything that we have been conditioned to want? Because the current rhetoric doesn’t prepare you for the reality.   In 2015 Poorna Bell became a widow after her husband Rob took his own life on a winter’s night, having battled depression and addiction. Her situation was unusual when compared to a lot of people, but she was left figuring out exactly the same things. Will she ever be happy? Will she find love again? Who will rescue her from her sadness?   Two years on and Poorna is rebuilding her life. And it is from this place – as she works towards choosing what she does and doesn’t want from society, that she will explore a different conversation around fulfillment and self-worth.Cutting across the landscapes in India, New Zealand and Britain, Poorna Bell explores the things endemic in our society such as sadness and loneliness, to unpick why we seek other people to fix what’s inside of us.In Search of Silence is the recognition of the echo chamber we find ourselves in, in terms of what constitutes a successful, fulfilling life. This is a heartfelt, deeply personal journey which asks us all to define what 'happiness' truly means.    PRAISE FOR CHASE THE RAINBOW:  ‘A candid, warm, sad, surprisingly funny, raw, brave, bittersweet book.’ – MATT HAIG   ‘ Chase the Rainbow is a game-changing book. Poorna Bell’s moving account of the pressures on modern men could be a life-saver. This is a brave and bold work that will inspire us all to talk openly and honestly about depression once and for all. Everyone should read this book.’ – ARIANNA HUFFINGTON ‘I recently devoured this book in a couple of days. It’s so beautifully written, honest and beyond though-provoking. I urge you to delve into its courageously written pages to learn about Poorna Bell’s story.’ – FEARNE COTTON ‘A story of love and loss and a vital contribution to the mental health debate. A great read.’ – ALASTAIR CAMPBELL

The Secret Loves of Geeks


Hope NicholsonSfé R. Monster - 2018
    Monster (Beyond: A queer comics anthology), Michael Walsh (Secret Avengers), and many more.

The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found


Jeanne Safer - 2016
    Jeanne Safer has dedicated much of her decades' long career in psychotherapy to exploring taboo subjects that we all think about in private but seldom discuss in public. From conflicted sibling relationships to the choice not to have children, Safer's work has always been unflinching in its aim to dive deep into topics that make most of us blush, but which are present in all of our lives. In The Golden Condom, Safer turns her sharp and fearless eye to a subject perhaps more universal than any other-love in all its permutations.In The Golden Condom Safer interweaves her own experiences with those of a variety of memorable people, including her patients, telling a series of tales that investigate relationships--both healthy and toxic--that most of us don't escape life without experiencing at least once, including traumatic friendships, love after loss, unrequited or obsessional love and more. Never prescriptive and always entertaining, these stories will demolish any suspicion you might have that you're alone in navigating a turbulent romantic life, and will inspire you with the range of possibilities that exist to find love, however unconventional, and at any age.

Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner


Jeb Kinnison - 2014
     If you were brought up in the Western world, you’ve been trained on fairy tales of love and relationships that are misleading at best, and at worst have you making mistake after mistake in starting relationships with the wrong kinds of people who will waste your time and keep you from finding a loyal partner. Science has the answer! Or at least a guide to save you the time and effort of discovering for yourself how many wrong types of romantic partners there are. Reading this book will help you recognize the signs of some of the syndromes that prevent people from being good partners. We’ll go through those syndromes and point out some of the signs. Those little red flags you sometimes notice when you are getting to know someone? Often they speak loud and clear once you understand the types, and you can decide immediately to run away or approach with caution those who show them. If you’re young and just starting to look for a partner, good news—the world is swarming with well-adjusted, charming matches for you, if you know how to recognize them. The bad news: you are inexperienced and you may not recognize the right type of person when you date them. Many people expect to experience an immediate sense of excitement, an overwhelming rush of attraction, and to fall in love rapidly and equally with someone who feels the same. This rarely happens, and when it does it usually ends badly! And expecting it will cause you to let go of people who are steady, loving, and attentive, if you had given them a chance. So once you’ve identified someone who makes you laugh, answers your messages, and is there for you when you want them, don’t make the mistake of tossing them aside for the merely good-looking, sexy, or intriguing stranger. If you’re older, bad news: while you were spending time and effort on relationships you were hoping would turn out better, or even happily nestled in a good relationship or two, most of the secure, reliable, sane people in your age group got paired off. They’re married or happily enfamilied, and most of the people your age in the dating pool are tragically unable to form a good long-term relationship. You should always ask yourself, “why is this one still available?”—there may be a good answer (recently widowed or left a long-term relationship), or it may be that this person has just been extraordinarily unlucky in having over twenty short relationships in twenty years (to cite one case!) But it’s far more likely you have met someone with a problematic attachment style. As you age past 40, the percentage of the dating pool that is able to form a secure, stable relationship drops to less than 30%[1]; and since it can take months of dating to understand why Mr. or Ms. SeemsNice is really the future ex-partner from Hell, being able to recognize the difficult types will help you recognize them faster and move on to the next. This book outlines the basics (which might be all you need), and points you toward more resources if you want to understand more about your problem partner. If you're wondering if the guy or girl you've been hanging out with might not be quite right, this is the place to match those little red flags you've noticed with known bad types. And by getting out fast, you can avoid emotional damage and wasted time, and get going on finding someone who's really right for you. Study all of the bad types and you'll detect them before even getting involved. Or you could be one of the few people who recognizes their own problems in one of these types. There are study materials and plans of action for you, too.

Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy: A Guide to Getting Over Your Partner's Past and Finding Peace


Zachary Stockill - 2013
    That's where I come in. Written from the rare perspective of one who has struggled with, and eventually overcome, intense jealousy surrounding my partner's past, "Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy" is the only guide you will ever need to letting go of jealous thoughts and anxiety about your partner’s past, overcoming constant unrest and worry, and finding greater peace. You might currently feel hopeless; like retroactive jealousy is something that you’ll just be forced to “live with” until you die. You might even be severely depressed, mired in obsessive jealous thoughts and confusion. I used to feel the same way. I'm here to tell you that you are suffering needlessly. In nineteen chapters, I outline effective strategies, practices, and exercises for confronting, and eventually overcoming, jealousy regarding your partner’s past as painlessly and efficiently as possible. After reading this guidebook you will: - have access to a new multi-step program that will help you to let go of your jealousy and anxiety - begin incorporating coping exercises into your daily routine which will reduce your jealous thoughts as soon as they appear - feel a new sense of optimism and confidence in your ability to grow and overcome retroactive jealousy - understand what your jealousy is really trying to tell you Overcoming retroactive jealousy wasn’t easy, but I am undoubtedly a stronger, more confident, more loving and overall better man for having gone through it. My jealousy turned out to be a blessing in disguise -- seriously. It might not seem like it now, but you too can use jealousy to your advantage. As you progress, you will emerge a stronger, more confident, more attractive, and more loving person and partner — and it’s my pleasure to guide you every step of the way. What my readers are saying: "Thanks for writing such a great book… It’s superb. Your advice has already given me instant help. I see the problem clearly and feel empowered to start the battle." - Ryan, UK "I cannot express to you how grateful I am for your book… The help that your book has given me, and the hope you instilled in me is priceless. It would be an understatement to say I would recommend this book to sufferers of RJ. This should be compulsory reading for all sufferers of jealousy." - Jeremy, USA "Your book was better than professional therapy... I’ve gone from crying and feeling helpless all day, to functioning at about 90%, with reassurance that I WILL get back to 100%. - Nick, USA Visit http://www.retroactivejealousy.com/ov... for more testimonials. You need to know that you can move on from retroactive jealousy, and reassert control over your life. You can get a hold on your brain, and patterns of compulsive questioning and obsessive thoughts. You can be the partner you want to be — you just have to understand where retroactive jealousy comes from, and how to deal with it. So let’s get started!

The Sacred Search: What If It's Not about Who You Marry, But Why?


Gary L. Thomas - 2013
    Whether you are single, dating, or engaged, Gary’s unique perspective on dating will prepare you for a satisfying, spiritually enriching marriage even before you walk down the aisle. As Gary reminds us, a good marriage is not something you find—it’s something you make.

Texts So Good He Can't Ignore: Sassy Texting Secrets for Attracting High-Quality Men (and Keeping the One You Want)


Bruce Bryans - 2018
     Because guys covertly appraise a woman’s relationship potential this way, many women often have no idea that the way they communicate via text is actually sending the wrong message and thus, they unknowingly end up chasing men away. Discover the Secrets of Texting Men to Effortlessly Stand Out from EVERY Other Woman Men have their own unique way of interpreting a woman’s communication attempts. Therefore, although many women mean well, they often do things when texting men that sometimes makes them appear too easy, too needy, too bossy, or too boring...even if these things aren’t necessarily true about them. Texting is the one medium of communication in which a great guy can easily get the wrong idea about you. And as these wrong ideas pile up inside his mind, they usually coalesce into a single romance-killing thought: That he can do better than you. So, what’s a girl supposed to do then? Simple really. All she needs to do is understand exactly how men appraise female texting habits and how to use this knowledge to differentiate herself as being a high-value woman. Doing so will make it easy for her stand out from EVERY other woman who texts him. How to Use Texting to Tease, Flirt, and Entice Your Way into Becoming His TOP Priority If you want to arouse the kind of long-term desire in a man that makes him eager to pursue you for dates, romance, commitment, and more, you must take advantage of texting and use it to make subtle and seductive displays of your high-status, and thus, your high-value. Fortunately, this is exactly what you’re going to learn in, Texts So Good He Can’t Ignore! In this fun and insightful dating book, you’ll learn the texting habits of high-value women and gain access to a vast collection of irresistible, man-melting text messages that make men EAGER to text you back and desperate to see you again. And because this in-depth guide focuses on how men think (unlike most dating books for women), it will give you a distinct advantage over your peers when it comes to texting men. Here’s what you’re going to learn inside: Exactly what to text a guy when he’s stringing you along and only doing the BARE MINIMUM to keep you interested. How to use mischievous "Feisty Girl" texts to get a man to finally ask you out (or ask you out AGAIN), while making it seem like it was all HIS idea. What to do (and what NOT to do) if a guy suddenly stops texting you or starts responding to your texts less and less. How to get him to CALL YOU instead of texting all the time. What to text a man to "let him down easy" but KEEP him interested whenever he sends an inappropriate or overly sexual text. Exactly what to text a guy who keeps "coming BACK from the DEAD" and suddenly starts taking an interest in you again. (Hint: These cheeky little texts will ensure that he either takes you seriously this time or take a HIKE!) A simple method for starting conversations that IMMEDIATELY grabs his attention and makes him EAGER to text you back.

Denial: My 25 Years Without a Soul


Jonathan Rauch - 2013
    A memoir...

Aphrodite Made Me Do It


Trista Mateer - 2019
    In this empowering retelling, she uses the mythology of the goddess to weave a common thread through the past and present. By the end of this book, Aphrodite make you believe in the possibility of your own healing.

Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating


Moira Weigel - 2016
    A mate, on the other hand, is becoming harder and harder to find. The age-old quest for true love requires more effort than ever before. Let’s face it: Dating is work.Which, as it happens, is exactly where it began, in the nineteenth century—as prostitution. In Labor of Love, Moira Weigel dives into the secret history of dating while holding up a mirror to the contemporary dating landscape, revealing why we date the way we do and explaining why it feels so much like work. This isn’t a guide to “getting the guy”; there are no ridiculous “rules” to follow in Labor of Love. This is a brilliant, fresh, and utterly original approach to help us understand how dating was invented and, hopefully, to lead us closer to the happy ending that it promises.

It Takes One to Tango: How I Rescued My Marriage with (Almost) No Help from My Spouse—and How You Can, Too


Winifred M. Reilly - 2017
    So when couples can’t agree on how—or whether—to make their marriage better, many give up or settle for a less-than-satisfying marriage (or think the only way out is divorce). Fortunately, there is an alternative. It Takes One to Tango is a groundbreaking guide that shows how one determined partner—acting alone—can spark lasting, significant change in a marriage, often accomplishing change that cannot be made any other way. It doesn’t matter how short-fused, argumentative, or seemingly impossible your partner can be—or how long you’ve been stuck. Marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly has this message for struggling partners: Take the lead. Doing so is effective—and powerful. Through Reilly’s own story of reclaiming her now nearly forty-year marriage, along with anecdotes from many clients she’s worked with, you’ll learn how to: -Focus on your own behaviors and change them in ways that make you feel good about yourself and your marriage -Take a firm stand for what truly matters to you without arguing, cajoling, or resorting to threats -Identify the “big picture” issues at the basis of your repetitive fights—and learn how to unhook from them -Be less reactive, especially in the face of your spouse’s provocations -Develop the strength and stamina to be the sole agent of change Combining psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative, It Takes One to Tango is a fresh and engaging guide that will empower those who choose to take a bold, proactive approach to creating a loving and lasting marriage.

Seeing Gender: An Illustrated Guide to Identity and Expression


Iris Gottlieb - 2019
    Deeply researched and fully illustrated, this book demystifies an intensely personal—yet universal—facet of humanity. Illustrating a different concept on each spread, queer author and artist Iris Gottlieb touches on history, science, sociology, and her own experience. This book is an essential tool for understanding and contributing to a necessary cultural conversation, bringing clarity and reassurance to the sometimes confusing process of navigating ones' identity. Whether LGBTQ+, cisgender, or nonbinary, Seeing Gender is a must-read for intelligent, curious, want-to-be woke people who care about how we see and talk about gender and sexuality in the 21st century.

The Break Up Manual For Men: How To Recover From A Serious Break Up, Become Stronger and Get Back Into Life


Andrew Ferebee - 2015
     Guys, let’s face it a serious breakup can suck! There is no one that is IMMUNE to experiencing a broken relationship. It literally feels as though your heart has been torn out of your chest. You can’t stop thinking about her, what you could, should or would do if you had another chance — even if the breakup occurred last week, or ten years ago. But the truth is… it’s OVER and she’s moved on! So what can YOU do about it? The Breakup Manual For Men was born out of real heartbreak, and an urgent necessity to get over the loss and pain of a serious breakup. In this powerful book, relationship coach for men, Andrew Ferebee has distilled the essentials of his own success and life-changing work with men who have been blindsided by breakups into an easy-to-follow strategy that you can devour in as little as a day. This is no ordinary relationship advice book. You will leave behind all confusion, pain and heartbreak as he leads you through how to truly “Overcome and Recover” so you can become stronger, attract new women and have the confidence to start living again in the shortest time possible. Andrew leaves no stone unturned. Everything has been tested and proven to work! The result — one easy-to-read book for men that reveals what you absolutely need to know. * Keys to experiencing acceptance of the breakup in a matter of weeks instead of months * Proven method to avoid the pain of seeing her move on and speed up the recovery process * How to trick your mind into ending the fantasy of you getting back together with her * 3 simple steps to regain your power so you no longer feel empty inside * The surprising truth behind why you would have lost her either way * Detailed strategies to handle social media after a breakup * Exactly how and what to do to accept the loss and release the pain * How the 5 stages of grief can help you cope with your emotions and accept where you are * The hard-science behind breakups and why you are going to thrive after the breakup * The real reason why you should wait before jumping back into another relationship * Demystifying the truth about why your ex has moved on and appears happy * Unique and overlooked ways to control your anger over your ex moving on * Life-changing secrets of getting clear about your breakup * The facts on how long it takes to get over a breakup and when to start dating again * Breakthrough solutions for suicidal thoughts and why you matter even without her * Andrew’s 5 “can’t miss” non-negotiable rules to avoid slipping back into old self-destructive thoughts and behaviours * A powerful 10 step weekly plan you can follow to see incredible things happen in your life again * Little known techniques for channelling your anger so you no longer feel like a victim * 6 ways to rebuild your life and improve it far beyond what it is now * Clear and straight-forward advice that will instantly help you re-discover your purpose * Fastest known way to recovery and how you know you are ready for a new relationship Ask yourself: Where will you be a week, a month or a year from now? Think about it.