Hal SpacejockAn incompetent space pilot, a massive debt and a twenty-four hour deadline...Freighter pilot Hal Spacejock has a life to die for: His very own cargo ship, a witty and intelligent flight computer ... and a debt so big it makes the GFC look like a rounding error.Hal's an upright sort of guy, and he won't take jobs from gun runners, drug smugglers or politicians. On the other hand, the finance company's brutal enforcer is on his doorstep, and Hal has barely twenty-four hours to pay him off. Miss the deadline and he - and his ship - will go under. Way, way, under.Faced with an impossible choice, Hal chooses an impossible job ... and gains an impossible new co-pilot into the bargain.Hal Spacejock is the first novel in the Hal Spacejock series (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)2. Hal Spacejock: Second CourseRex Curtis is trying to save his freight company from bankruptcy, and the last thing he needs is a cheeky freelancer stealing his best customers.Hal Spacejock, cheeky freelancer, is fighting for survival in the cut-throat interstellar cargo business. The last thing he needs is a powerful enemy.Two headstrong men on a collision course, in a Galaxy barely room enough for one.Hal Spacejock: Second Course is book two in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)3. Hal Spacejock Just DessertsPlanet Cathua has a proud history where robots are concerned. Their legendary factories produced the best, the fastest, the most efficient robots in the Galaxy ... but no longer.Now they must go cap in hand to neighbouring planets, haggling and bartering for the very  robots they used to be so famous for.One Cathuan patriot is determined to reverse this embarrassing situation, and Hal Spacejock lands in the middle of his sinister plot ...Hal Spacejock: Just Desserts is book three in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx  350 pages)Plus ... Hal Spacejock: VisitHal returns to his ship after a shopping expedition, and finds Clunk in a right old state. Break out the crayons and colouring sheets ... they're booked in for a school visit!Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this 3500-word short story. Visit slots into the series any time after Hal Spacejock (book one), but can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone.

    He knows all about trilobites, and bridge, and that he doesn't want to be Victoria Brown's boyfriend, and that tapping maple trees causes them excruciating pain. He knows his real dad is probably flying a hot-air balloon across the Pacific, or paving a city with moss. And he knows that Simon, the guy who pretends to be his dad, does absolutely nothing interesting. But when Arthur finds a weather-worn notebook in the woods behind his house, all he has are questions. Why was its author, Phil, so sad, and why does it end on page 43? Suddenly, there are other questions too: Why do people abandon people? Why do they abandon themselves?Arthur embarks on a top-secret investigation to find out who Phil is -- or was. But getting straight answers from grown-ups is impossible, and before long, the only thing he knows for sure is that everything he thought he knew about life is probably wrong and that what he has to do is ten times bigger than what he can do.Told through a trio of voices: the wildly imaginative and perpetually awkward Arthur, Phil's manic journal and the forest that watches them both, Ben Stephenson's debut novel is a heartbreaking story of love, death and the unspeakable pain of being small. A Matter of Life and Death Or Something marks the exciting debut of an inventive and gifted storyteller.

    "I walked out of the corner shop, and heard a noise like this: t h u m m t h u m m. I looked up and saw a huge silver disc hovering in the air above Marshall Road.""Hullo," I said to myself. "That's not something you see every day. And then something odd happened."Find out just how odd things get in this hilarious New York Times bestselling story of time travel and breakfast cereal, expertly told by Newbery Medalist and bestselling author Neil Gaiman and illustrated by Skottie Young.

    Seuss, P.D. Eastman, and Sandra Boynton, your child will fall in love with "Goodnight Farm Animals."This is a fun twist on the classic story, "Goodnight Moon." As the sun sets on the farm, it is time for the animals to say goodnight. With beautiful illustrations and fun rhyming text, this book will surely be a favorite.

    But her dad–a normal-enough seeming guy–just so happens to work for an evil genius who plans to unleash an army of extremely cranky, stilt-walking, laser-beam-eyed whales upon the world. Lucky for Lily, her two best friends are anything but average. Both of them are famous for their adventures. Jasper Dash, Boy Technonaut, invents gadgets; Katie Mulligan spends her spare time fighting off zombies and were-goats. Surely they'll know what to do. And if they don't? then it will be up to Lily–average, everyday Lily–to come up with a plan.With this crazy comic ride of a novel, M. T. Anderson launches a riotous and wonderfully weird new series for listeners who like their thrilling tales with tongue firmly in cheek.

    From the charming to the ludicrous, and from the profound to the downright X-rated, this hilarious collection of quotes is sure to tickle the funny bone.

    Brought up by her aunt's family in New Jersey, book-and-music-loving Olivia feels out of place in their life of high fashion and fancy cars. But she never could have imagined how out of place she really was until Mia Thermopolis, Princess of Genovia, pops into her school and announces that Olivia is her long-lost sister. Olivia is a princess. A dream come true, right? But princesses have problems too.In FROM THE NOTEBOOKS OF A MIDDLE SCHOOL PRINCESS a new middle grade series, readers will see Genovia, this time through the illustrated diaries of a spunky new heroine, 12 year old Olivia Grace, who happens to be the long lost half-sister of Princess Mia Thermopolis.The original Princess Diaries series sold over 5 million copies in the US (15 million worldwide), spent 82 weeks on the USA Today bestsellers list, and inspired two beloved films.

    Sentences are short and so are words, each sentence is illustrated with a funny watercolor picture.This book is wonderful for bedtime reading, handy for travel, perfect for beginner readers.Scroll up and click “Look Inside” to get a preview or click “Buy Now” to add this children's book to your collection.I am sure you'll enjoy it!

    Soul-searching and sometimes silly questions reveal what your friends are made of! Little kids are fun or annoying? What did you watch on TV last night? Favorite thing hanging on your room wall? If you could invent something what would it be?

    From whom? Well the CIA, naturally. But also corporate agents #5, #29, and # 207, plus two international superspies -- one of whom happens to be a chimpanzee. They all want Dr. Cheeseman and his late wife's greatest invention-a machine with unspeakable powers-OK, I'll say it. It's a time machine. But it's not working right yet, so put all ideas of time travel out of your head.Instead, please enjoy this high stakes, high action, hijinx-filled chase. And the bizarre characters our Cheeseman friends will meet as they protect not just their parents' invention, but their mother's sacred memory. It's an adventure novel like no other.Oh yeah, and did we mention the entertaining, plot-exposition filled, unsolicited advice you'll receive along the way? So you didn't ask for it? Yeah, that's why it's unsolicited.Unsolicited Advice #1: Read this book.

    But why is it that his enthusiastic contribution is so seldom appreciated?Ten very funny stories about William - at war

    FREE Read-aloud audio book inside Vividly illustrated and written in the charming back-and-forth style so familiar to mothers and children around the world, a little pup tries to convince her mom that she loves her more. "Mama, do you know how much I love you?" "No more than I love you, for sure," she said. "Oh, yes I do," I said. "I love you way more than you love me." "Impossible!" she cried, snuggling close. "Do you know how many trees there are in the forest? That's how much I love you." Young readers and parents will be delighted by the book's soothing pace, beautiful images, and heart warming message.

    Stuck at a boring family party, on an awkward date, in a below-par job interview, or any number of other situations in which conversation has become more of a trickle than a flow. Well, fear the excruciation no more, as Richard Herring's Emergency Questions is about to change your life. Containing 1,000 conversation starters from one of our most cherished comedians, along with plenty of answers from the many household names who've appeared on his hundreds of podcasts, this book is virtually guaranteed to remove any social anxiety from your life, and will raise your repartee-game to new heights.

    Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body! This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 100+ knock knock funny jokes Excellent for early and beginner readers Hours of fun and entertainment for kids and children Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny and hilarious knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults BONUS INCLUDED ==> FREE Joke Book Download 101 Funny Jokes (see link inside) Download a free joke book with purchase of this book! From this Funny Knock Knock Joke Book... Knock knock!Who’s there?Tullos!Tullos who?Tullos all your secrets! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Amy!Amy who?I’m always Amy for the top! HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Yule!Yule who?Yule never guess! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Juno!Juno who?Juno how long I’ve been knocking on this door? HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Allison!Allison who?Allison to the radio every morning! Best-Selling Author ~ Johnny B. Laughing The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically!

    She and her slick side-kick butler, Hitch, foil crimes and get into loads of scrapes with evil villains, but they're always ice-cool in a crisis.