She is always the first on the dancefloor and the very last to stop boogying. She has never tried to dress like a Parisian, never followed advice on what not to wear, and certainly has never tried to tone down her natural pinkness; she knows he is perfect just the way she is. And even when life throws Flamingo a curveball, she is always ready to embrace the unknown and jump straight in.A gorgeous little gift book of motivational sayings and hilarious axioms, Be a Flamingo is a perfect pink pick-me-up gift for a friend who needs a confidence boost, or great as an impulse self-purchase when you feel you need to start tooting your own horn a little louder. Because we could all do worse than taking a leaf out of Flamingo's book.

    With peace in their lands, Levi and Reece have been living a life of serenity and peace, raising their three young children at Oxley Manor. Everything seems perfect and well until Levi realizes something: a holiday he knows his wife as always loved on her home planet of Earth has never been celebrated in his realm. In fact, Reece hasn't had the privilege of enjoying her favorite holiday in over six years, and Levi vows to change that. But can he? With his sister's wedding at hand, his own daughter professing her love for another as well, and wanting to have a new holiday introduced to Pemdas...Levi is determined to find a way to make all of this work no matter the sacrifices he must make.

    For years, Paula Woodley has suffered the broken bones and shattered self-esteem caused by an abusive marriage. But what can she do? Her high-profile, Washington power-broker husband is not a man to be crossed. Or so he thinks. The Sisterhood may not be an organization found in any of his memos, but he’s about to take a meeting with them—and they’ll be setting the agenda.… Sweet Revenge Isabelle Flanders’ former colleague, the conniving Rosemary, did everything in her power to ruin Isabelle, from framing her for a terrible drunk driving accident to stealing her husband and her architecture firm. Now, Isabelle’s formerly lovely life is in tatters while Rosemary scoops up the spoils. It’s enough to make any friend’s blood boil. Rosemary may think she’s flying high, but she’s about to tangle with the Sisterhood. Lethal Justice Alexis Thorn, once a successful securities broker, spent a hellish year behind bars for a crime she never committed. Now she has her freedom, but she’s left with haunting memories of being hauled from her office in handcuffs…of the cell door clanging shut behind her…of her pleas going unheard. Alexis dreams of getting even. The legal system failed her, but the Sisterhood won’t.

    Introducing two eccentric ladies who form an unlikely friendship.Meet Mavis and Dot - two colourful, retired ladies who live in Worthington-on-Sea, where there are charity shops galore. Apart from bargain hunting, they manage to tangle themselves in escapades involving illegal immigrants, night clubs, nude modelling, errant toupees and more. And then there’s Mal, the lovable dog who nobody else wants. A gently humorous, often side-splitting, heart-warming snapshot of two memorable characters with past secrets and passions. Escape for a couple of hours into this snapshot of a faded, British seaside town. You'll laugh and cry but probably laugh more."This book is quirky and individual, and has great pathos...[it] will resonate with a lot of readers." Gill Kaye - Editor of Ingenu(e). Written with a light touch in memory of a dear friend who passed away from ovarian cancer, Angela Petch’s seaside tale is a departure from her successful Tuscan novels. All profits from the sale of the books will go towards research into the cure for cancer.

     It was supposed to be a place where every child’s favorite characters came to life. And, it was, until those characters went nuts and started killing everyone. Then it wasn’t so happy. Ten years later Jake and his team of robot reclamation specialists are heading to the island theme park to confront the evil machines, discover Kat’s connection to the disaster and boost the flagging ratings on their reality show, Scrappers. Fearless Monkeynauts, overly friendly Bearberry Bears, feuding Presidents, Dinosty Warriors, fairy tale legends and more populate the abandoned park and only the Junkers are brave enough, or dumb enough, to go for a visit. Join Jake, Hailey, Kat, Savant, Mason and, of course, Glitch as they try to uncover the mystery of what they call The Tragic Kingdom.

    They cannot skin a fish, dominate a battlefield, or transform majestic creatures of the Southern Hemisphere into piano keyboards.The Heming Way demonstrates how modern eunuchs—brainwashed by PETA and Alcoholics Anonymous—can learn from Papa's unparalleled example: drunken, unshaven, meat-devouring, wife-divorcing, and gloriously self-destructive.Advice includes:How to kill enough animals to render a species endangered—just like Papa!Getting your friends to think drinking a daiquiri is manly . . . just by drinking one nine yourselfAchieving sufficiently high testosterone levels to never have to worry about the chance of having a daughter instead of a sonAnd much more!Profane, insightful, hilarious and loaded with more than 150 photos, facts and insights about Papa, The Heming Way is a difficult path, and not for the weak, but truth is manlier than fiction.

    Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

    Included are the first three Big Nate comic compendiums: Big Nate: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?, Big Nate: Here Goes Nothing, and Big Nate: Genius Mode. Diary of a Wimpy Kid author Jeff Kinney says, "Big Nate is funny, big time!"

    Some move toward the future heartened by what they learn from those around them--a tattoo artist, an invented medicine man, zoo animals, strangers, fellow outsiders. Deftly rendered, these stories abound with oddness and grace.In “Tattooizm,” included in The Best American Short Stories 2006, a young woman struggles with a promise that her boyfriend is determined to make her keep. In the Nelson Algren Award–winning “Space,” a reluctantly undertaken errand forces a young man to finally confront the death of his mother. And in “The Medicine Man,” hailed by the Times (U.K.) as “perfectly pitched and perfectly written,” a man recounts his manic attachment to his sister.Moffett’s closely observed stories are candid and complex, funny and moving. The world of Permanent Visitors is an idiosyncratic and generous one, its inhabitants searching for constancy in a place crowded with contradiction.

    Because she and her husband, Brian, work together, they have little to talk about. And the heat between the sheets has definitely cooled. Her only diversion these days seems to be the usual neighborhood gossip. She likes to think she's inquisitive. Brian says she's a snoop.Lately, her nosy nature has escalated. She's gotten it into her head that a house down the road might be used to make adult films. Her clues? The blinds are always drawn, and there are never any garbage cans at the curb. She’s determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, but if her snooping keeps uncovering unexpected dirt, it may very well be the last thing she ever does.

    Fortunately Greg's best mate Stu has come to the rescue. Now it's Stu's job to lead Greg down the path of enlightenment, where woman swarm by their hundreds and will pay for Greg's company. Welcome to the Meat Market, where everything has a price, even love.

    Tuesday started out like any other day – until my school became the target of a zombie attack! I tried to call my Dad, but he wouldn’t answer. So my school is about to be taken over by crazy zombies – but not if I can help it! This story is a funny adventure that is engaging for children, middle school students, and grown-ups.

    Entering a world of mysterious powers and nightmarish consequences, Chris realizes the secret belief of every teenage boy- that his wang has the power to change the world. The Monkey's Penis is the third installment in the terrifying Shingles series, and once again readers with weak hearts or bladders are advised to read on at their own risk...

     The true story of how mildly successful guitarist and New York Times writer Dan Crane relinquished his instrument and became Björn Türoque (pronounced "b-yorn too-RAWK"), the second greatest air guitarist in the nation. This exploration of the international air guitar sub-culture addresses the issue of dedicating oneself to an invisible art in order to achieve the ultimate goal of "airness"-that is, when air guitar transcends the "real" art that it imitates and becomes an art form in and of itself.

    Time to move up.When Donald was a kid in the late 60's on the South Side of Chicago, he had a Schwinn Sting Ray bike. Everyone did. But everyone else had a five-speed. Donald's was a three-speed. It was good enough, as was explained by his parents, just as their Ford Maverick wasn't the neighbor's Le Mans, but it was good enough. And that's the way Donald was taught to live his life. It was a three-speed life. It was good enough. He marries Emily because she's good enough. Emily marries Donald because that's what she had planned, and she is not going to experience divorce as did her parents. Donald opens a law practice with his two best friends and roommates from college because it's good enough.Then the Roths meet their son's future in-laws and everything changes. Donald wonders if, in fact, he could get that five-speed.In this hilarious and thought-provoking novel, the whole concept of morals and convention is turned inside out. Everything is perception. If you like Richard Russo, Tom Perotta, and Jonathan Franzen, you're going to love this book.