It has lain in the cold and dark of the bog, waiting patiently for a host to set it free. Now, for John Cluer and his family, nothing will ever be the same again.A novelette of approximately 10,000 words.

    In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

    This charmingly funny, self-deprecating resumé of an ordinary man’s career to date and current life in the celebrity bear pit is penned by the author of the Sunday Times-bestselling Where Did It All Go Right?

    Mostly from the USA and UK, they bring into sharp focus the extent of the abuse of our critical life-saving services.With cartoons to depict calls and hyperlinks to take the reader to the original audio (some of them released in the public domain by the police and ambulance services in order to show the world how badly a minority of individuals will misuse valuable resources), this book promises to amuse and shock every right-minded person who understands what these services are here for.The author and illustrator are professional front line paramedics, so they know a thing or two about the subject; and from calls to the police for directions to 999 rants about the lack of buses, they have experienced their fair share of such stupidity.You won't believe some of the calls that have been made in the name of personal crisis. You simply won't believe what some people think is an emergency!

    This second book tells of the first two years that she owned her own barge, the Vereeniging, and how she converts it from an empty hull into a home. Told with with Valerie's usual tongue-in-cheek humour, Harbour Ways can be read as a stand alone memoir or as the follow on to Watery Ways.

    Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.

    Michelle Browning is 33, drunk and a former beauty queen who nears death after six years of homelessness. Judith Glynn is divorced with grown children and struggles to support herself in her adopted city. After their first hello, neither woman is the same as they embark on a remarkable journey for two years. This memoir is a raw yet enlightening read that graphically depicts the homeless subculture. But as Judith sets out all alone to rescue Michelle is her fixation worth the sacrifice? At stake is whether Michelle will choose possible death in a gutter over Judith's guiding light back into society. Enrolled in Kindle Book Lending that allows users to lend their book after purchasing to their friends and family for a duration of 14 days. For full details, review the Kindle Book Lending Program.

    So they quit their jobs, sold their house and car, and flew off to Turkey with two bags each, a laptop computer and a camera. If you've ever dreamed of ditching the rat race and taking a year off, you’ll find inspiration in this charming and humorous series of essays and emails. A delightful memoir of a memorable year.

    An irritant to her father and a concern to her mother, Gillian’s home life is less than ideal.Geraldine, Gillian’s mother, has suffered abuse from Joe for years. However, it is not until Joe dies that the family dynamic shifts and Gillian starts out on her own dark journey…When Gillian meets Paul and Daniel she starts to become the person she always knew she was. And as people around her start dying Gillian faces scrutiny from her mother.  But are the deaths accidents or is something more sinister at work? C.S. Barnes' Intention is set to be one of 2019's stand-out debuts. A dark and compelling psychological thriller, it will appeal to fans of authors like; Lisa Jewell, S.E. Lynes, Theresa Driscoll.

    When you’ve lost everything – revenge is all that’s left…Abi should be at home celebrating after helping to put two murderers behind bars for a sickening attack on a pensioner in his own home.Instead, she’s gone missing, her phone's switched off and her husband, Henry is frantic with worry.But Abi’s disappearance is only the start of his troubles.Who's the mysterious hooded man loitering outside the house in the dark?Why has someone etched a cryptic message into the windscreen of Abi’s car?And what’s the meaning of the creepy, anonymous letter that's been pushed through their front door?All Henry knows for sure is someone’s trying to scare him.Someone hellbent on revenge.And they’re not going to stop until they’ve brought him to his knees and exacted a deadly retribution…

    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

    Nancy worked for Elvis from 1967 until his untimely death in 1977. Read her stories of what those years were like, of what the routines were at Graceland, and what it meant to be close to Elvis and his family on a daily basis. Read the sad account of her rushing upstairs, after a frantic call from Ginger Alden, and finding him on the bathroom floor. This book presents that picture, one that every Elvis fan will want to see."

    It began as a way to amuse friends as a diversion in the early days of stress, isolation, and fear in the spring of 2020 and the Pandemic caused by the deadly Covid-19 Virus. We had no way of knowing how bad things were going to be or how long isolation and social distancing might last. It was a frightening time and my only intention was to provide friends with a momentary diversion and some entertainment in hard times. Favorable encouragement pushed me into half-forgotten memories and these stories came tumbling out. My "diversion" came to life as something I have to share with others. I began working on The Secret Apartment as a memoir to be presented as a collection of short stories Though fanciful, these are true stories based on actual events. This is not the product of my imagination. I didn't have to make anything up. I didn't have to and everything presented is both true and correct.I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I enjoyed living them.

    A light snow was falling as our family of six and a dog started out in our 1935 Ford. The tires were almost bald and there was a third of the steering wheel missing. The trailer behind was a modified shell of a travel trailer. It was loaded with the bare necessities to set up housekeeping nearly two thousand miles away. We were moving from Kanawha, Iowa to Yakima, Washington to seek our fortune picking fruit in the fruit-rich Yakima Valley.” UPHILL ALL THE WAY, a collection of sixty-seven short stories, is a first hand account of the life of the author’s family and their struggles through the Great Depression and World War II, and their eventual triumph. The circumstances they endured, some beyond their control and some created by the choices they made along the way, provided rich experiences for their family and does the same for the reader. The author’s father suffered ill health the last twelve years of his life. It was during this time that the author spent many hours with his father and heard, for the first time, several of the stories told in this book. After his father died, the author had many visits with his mother to get a better understanding of his parents’ lives before they were married and to clarify some of the things he remembered from his youth, taking notes and recording it all in the form of short stories. The end result is an unusual collection of poignant vignettes that draw the reader in and make the pages turn. More than 2,000 copies have been sold. Here are some comments from readers. * “UPHILL ALL THE WAY” By James Sloter. “Anyone who grew up in small-town Iowa and especially those who grew up right after the Great Depression will find something to relate to in James Sloter’s stories about the obstacles his parents overcame in raising their family in Iowa.” Ellen Heath, Homegrown Writing, The Des Moines Register and Tribune. “Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few are to be chewed and digested.” “OF STUDIES” ESSAYS II, Francis Bacon (1561-1626) “Thanks, Jim, for the copy of “UPHILL ALL THE WAY”. We are ‘digesting it’. The book signing was such fun—we’ll do it again for the sequel!” Claudia Warner, Administrator: Algona Public Library, Algona, Iowa “You asked me to tell you what I thought of your book “UPHILL ALL THE WAY”. You said that you rewrote each story several times to ‘make it flow’. Does it ever flow! WOW!” Betty Shipman, Corwith News editor, Corwith, Iowa “I just finished “UPHILL ALL THE WAY”. It was wonderful. I would like to buy ten copies for my book club.” Peg Williams, Minneapolis, MN “This check is for five more copies of your fascinating book. Thank you very much for the privilege of reading it.” Kent Ryerson, Norwalk, IA “I just finished reading your book. I enjoyed it so much.” Delores Huse, Pharr, TX “I enjoyed your book so much and am passing it around for all my family to read.” Maxine S., Dixon, IL “I hope your travels through Iowa and book-signings have been successful. I have finished your book—enjoyed it very much—it has us reminiscing about our own youth.” Pearl White, Sioux Falls, SD “Your book was interesting reading and factual, as I can really remember doing many of the things you mentioned doing in your childhood. The one difference though is that you were loved and you knew it.

    And this time he's got a baby. William Walker loves his gorgeous wife and new son – even if he did faint at the birth. What man wouldn't, after two whole days of labour and only one small sip of (medicinal) whiskey to sustain him? But now he's a father, and a proud one at that. It's just a shame that parenthood doesn't stop him doing the wrong thing at precisely the wrong time, with comically catastrophic results for his small – and increasingly exasperated – family.This hilarious romantic comedy will have you laughing out loud as William battles everything from floods to the Machiavellian denizens of a sinister Kentish village with more than a few hints of Royston Vasey…