Just a few minor problems: she has no job, no prospects, and she’s moving back into her childhood bedroom. Lou is grimly determined to stick to a rigorous schedule to get a job and get out of her parents’ house. Shelly “Mama Shell” Hansen, on the other hand, is ecstatic, and just as determined to keep her at home. Who else will help her hide her latest binge-shopping purchases from her husband, go to SoulCycle with her, and hold her hand during Botox shots?Smothered is a hilarious roman à clef told via journal entries, text messages, emails, bills, receipts, tweets, doctor’s prescriptions, job applications and rejections, parking tickets, and pug pictures, chronicling the year that Lou moves back home after college. Told from Lou’s point-of-view, Smothered tells the story of two young(ish) women, just trying to get it right, and learning that just because we all grow up doesn’t mean we necessarily have to grow old. (After all, what is Juvaderm for?)

    But Pomeroy plays by his own set of rules. He may be on the dole, but he’ll tip his breakfast waitress $20 just for being nice to him, even if it means he has to sit an extra hour on the street corner to make ends meet. He’s a skirmish-loving, dumpster-diving, ego-starved crazy who thinks that he can sing and that all women are in love with him—or should be. His parole officer, an Hispanic woman who tells Pomeroy he’s off-base and he 1) won’t become a rock star, 2) needs to find a decent job, and 3) would be better off if he stayed out of trouble, is totally exasperated by him. But Pomeroy is his own man, takes no advice, and has more wisdom that we’d like to admit. You may find yourself laughing when you shouldn’t. (“A good strong piss is better than sex. Lasts longer too.”) May find his egocentric opinions politically incorrect. ("There ain't a dyke alive ol' Pomeroy can't turn straight.") But don’t blame yourself if you start rooting for this anti-hero, you’ll have a lot of company. (Note: Adult language and situations.)

    But even he, with his penchant for fishnet stockings and stiletto heels, is stunned by the antics of his guests - to say nothing of the Butler who invented the ultimate sex machine.The author also wrote "Iron Maiden".

    So when the government forms its latest paranormal investigations team, they want his ninja skills on the payroll. His first case turns out to be much bigger than anyone realizes. Magical forces are gathering in DC and it's up to Bruce and his team to stand in their way.

    At last, financial freedom is yours if you want it.This book gives you the means to secure a MASSIVE and UNLIMITED flow of money into your life, to totally obliterate your financial worries forever, like magic. You will lift a heavy weight from your shoulders, the weight of worry. If you are like most people, you worry entirely too much about money. And the worry is always there, ever present. Now, you can eliminate all that wasted energy from your life. Worry about something else if you must, but you will no longer need to worry about money.You will discover “the two-prong method,” the most powerful money-management system ever devised. And doing it is EASY! In fact, it’s fun! It takes less than ten minutes a day, and you do not need any money now to start, not one penny! These are strong statements, but true.This book exposes the underlying laws that govern the flow of money. Not one person in ten thousand knows about this life-changing strategy. And those who do aren’t telling. Victor Boc declares: "Enough of that! I'm talking!"Unlike books that contain general guidelines and motivational pep-talks, this book gives you instructions. It shows you, step-by-step, exactly what to do and how to go about it. If you ever read just one money-oriented book in your entire life, this should be the one. You will never need another. NOTICE (from the book): "The method in this book will unquestionably create a positive flow of money into your life, perhaps for the first time ever! Be prepared! When this flow starts, money may come so quickly and in such great abundance that, unless you are ready, a state of shock could result. Consider yourself forewarned!"

    Medallion Winner 2015When four alien visitors arrive on Earth and disappear into the cornfields of Indiana, it is Stewart Faulkner’s job to find them. Who they are, where they’re headed, and what’s important enough to make them jump from a moving spaceship are all questions that Stewart must uncover. And he will have to do it all while 1) training a new team member named Mindy—who is developing a crush on him; 2) flying under the radar of his boss to make sure he’s not removed from the case; and 3) staying one step ahead of a government agent named Karl Bruner, who is determined to expose the presence of aliens on Earth.

    . . not banging chicks?" The search is over. Now, with the help of The Playbook, you'll be able to approach any beautiful woman, discover her innermost passion, and use that to trick her into sleeping with you. You'll master more than 75 seduction techniques, developed by pickup guru and all-around good guy Barney Stinson, guaranteed to turn you into a bona fide ladies' man.

    Emerson Knight is introverted, eccentric, and has little to no sense of social etiquette. Good thing he's also brilliant, rich, and (some people might say) handsome, or he'd probably be homeless.Riley Moon has just graduated from Harvard Business and Harvard Law. Her aggressive Texas spitfire attitude has helped her land her dream job as a junior analyst with mega-bank Blane-Grunwald. At least Riley Moon thought it was her dream job, until she is given her first assignment: babysitting Emerson Knight.What starts off as an inquiry about missing bank funds in the Knight account leads to inquiries about a missing man, missing gold, and a life-and-death race across the country. Through the streets of Washington, D.C., and down into the underground vault of the Federal Reserve in New York City, an evil plan is exposed. A plan so sinister that only a megalomaniac could think it up, and only the unlikely duo of the irrepressibly charming Emerson Knight and the tenacious Riley Moon can stop it.

    Though his drowning was officially ruled an accident, Tanner’s sister Jenny swears she saw something rise up from the Carthage Lake to pull the struggling teenager beneath the surface.Shawn doesn’t believe in monsters… but he will… The real threat, however, lies in the man behind the monster, a mysterious old man who has vowed to settle an old grudge and regain something that was stolen from him decades earlier. To survive the dark days and nights ahead, Shawn must not only decipher what the man is after, he must move past his own grief, fears, and insecurities, and learn to trust in Jenny, the disgraced town sheriff, and, most importantly, in himself. The Small Things trilogy spans forty years and three generations in a tale of murder, betrayal, corruption, sacrifice, love, redemption, faith and magic that culminates in a showdown that will pit the very forces of heaven and hell against Shawn and his family in a battle for the future of mankind and the world itself.

    Willful Child. Its ongoing mission: to seek out strange new worlds on which to plant the Terran flag, to subjugate and if necessary obliterate new life life-forms, to boldly blow the...And so we join the not-terribly-bright but exceedingly cock-sure Captain Hadrian Sawback - a kind of James T Kirk crossed with 'American Dad' - and his motley crew on board the Starship Willful Child for a series of devil-may-care, near-calamitous and downright chaotic adventures through 'the infinite vastness of interstellar space'...The bestselling author of the acclaimed Malazan Book of the Fallen sequence has taken his life-long passion for 'Star Trek' and transformed it into a smart, inventive and hugely entertaining spoof on the whole mankind-exploring-space-for-the-good-of-all-species-but-trashing-stuff-with-a-lot-of-hi-tech-kit-along-the-way type over-blown adventure. The result is this smart. inventive, occasionally wildly OTT and often very funny novel that deftly parodies the genre while also paying fond homage to it.

    When the Feds swarm into the small, eccentric town of New Hope, Massachusetts, seeking answers, Army Ranger turned police detective Ace Jackson finds himself sidelined. He isn’t thrilled when he’s assigned to nun-sit while the investigation unfolds, ordered to keep his disconcertingly attractive charge safe at all costs.That turns out to be easier said than done when Sister Mary Sleuth drags Ace through a series of misadventures and crazy encounters as she attempts to solve the case herself, despite a ruthless assassin who keeps popping up to take potshots at her.

    Deteriorating both physically and mentally while still painfully aware of what's going on around him, Bobby continues to work on the murder mystery he was writing before his life took a sudden and unexpected turn. As Bobby strives to tie up loose ends in his final story, if just for himself and his characters, the reader is given a glimpse of the life he's left behind in the form of day-in-the-life vignettes of his family. A vibrant, original story steeped in symbolism and family ties, this haunting debut explores the subtle ways lives are connected, broken, and renewed by love.

    Not knowing if he's alive or dead, their world is shrouded in shadows, secrets and suspicions.This is the story of what happens when hope comes back to haunt you. When your desperation is used against you. When you search for the truth – but are too scared to accept the reality staring you in the face...A mesmerizing psychological thriller with the most incredible twist you'll read all year.

    It was a time of hatred, racism, violence, obese children, war, untaxed rich people, and incandescent light bulbs -- perhaps the worst days we had ever seen. And at the heart of it all was a thuggish, thoughtless man, George W. Bush, who lashed out angrily at whatever he didn't understand -- and he understood so very little. Then there was that laugh of his -- that horrible snicker that mocked everything intelligent and nuanced. Also, he looked like a chimp. It seemed like the end for the United States of America. We would crumble in the hands of vicious, superstitious dimwits determined to hunt "ter'ists" or other figments of Bush's rotten mind. There was nothing left to do but head to Whole Foods to prepare our organic, sustainable, fair-trade last meal as the country ended around us. Despair had overtaken us, and we wondered aloud whether we could ever feel hope again. And then a man emerged who firmly answered, "Yes we can!" Oh, but Barack Obama was no mere man. He was a paragon of intelligence and civilized society. A savior to the world's depressed. A lightbringer. A genius thinking thoughts the common man could never hope to comprehend. And his words -- his beautiful words read from crystal panes -- reached down to our souls and told us all would be well. With the simple act of casting a ballot for Barack Obama, we could make the world an immeasurably better place -- a world of peace, of love, of understanding, of unicorns, of rainbows, of expanded entitlements. This was his promise. And now, having had him as president for more than two years, we can say without reservation that he has delivered all his promises and more and is the best president this country -- or any country -- has ever had or could even imagine to have.

    Most of all, it’s about the difficulties of staying on the planet when it’s spinning out of control.While taking a humorous look at health, grandparenthood, computers, and social issues, How to Succeed… answers such pressing questions as: What brand of yogurt guarantees you will live to 110? Can older people really shop online, or is the "submit order" button visible only to users under 30? And how many pixels does it take to win your grandchild’s affection?As we get older, we can whine or complain about our losses--memory, muscles, and mobility--or we can roll with the paunches. This book rolls.