But as a penniless and partnerless house-painter with an expired lease on her flat and a twelve-year-old daughter, she could hardly turn down her parents' offer to take them on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to the Caribbean. She'd just have to put up with her sister Theresa (making no secret of preferring Tuscany as a holiday destination) and brother Simon (worrying that there might be some sinister agenda behind their parents' wish to take them all away) with their various spouses, teenagers, young children and au pair. In a luxury hotel, with bright sunshine, swimming, diving, glorious food and friendly locals, any family tensions should have melted away in the fabulous heat. The children should have been angelic, the teenagers cheerful, the adults relaxed and happy. But...some problems just refuse to be left at home.

    He took a selfie of himself pouring a whole tube of them into his mouth, before sending it to his best mate, along with the letters LOL! The bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt and The Very Hungover Caterpillar bring you another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book, this time turning the spotlight not only on modern teens, but firmly on their parents too.When the doorbell rings, just as Sophie and her Dad are sitting down for their tea, they're half-expecting a visit from a tiger, but what slouches in through their doorway is even more curious than that... a teenager.A perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent of a teenager today.

    This wasn't always the case, but years in the soul-shattering world of retail have made Wade a bitter, cynical young man. Impeded by a lack of direction and nearly infinite levels apathy, Wade idles through his days avoiding waves of annoying customers, his obtrusive boss and any kind of work in general. When a management opportunity makes itself available Wade finds himself facing an unprecedented weekend of opportunity and distraction, a gauntlet of women he can't begin to understand, and a potential mental breakdown that could destroy his personal and professional life at once.

    These headstrong women cannot help but keep London society dangling on a string, but will they find a husband or lose themselves in the game? Immerse yourself in the Daring Debutantes world with this seven-volume series from #1 New York Times bestselling author M.C. Beaton. Henrietta (Book 1): Henrietta’s plain features seemed to guarantee her a solitary future. But with some unexpected wealth, Henrietta sets out to conquer London's high society and win the heart of Lord Beau Reckford. Molly (Book 2): She was a precocious American upstart who thought beauty, brains, and bravery were enough to conquer London society. Well, he'd show her! Nobody spurned Lord David Manley, the most eligible bachelor in town. Penelope (Book 3): Penelope, golden-haired and fresh from the county, has stolen the heart of the desirable Earl of Hestleton. But the Earl begins to doubt Penelope's true love. Can the belle keep her beau? Lucy (Book 4): How could lady’s maid Lucy Balfour hope to win the favor of Andrew, Viscount Harvey? Hamish MacGregor, the wily old butler, proposes they conquer London society as "father" and "daughter" and meet the king himself. Annabelle (Book 5): Annabelle Quennell gets a chance at a London Season to snare a wealthy husband. But before she sets off, Mad Meg the Gypsy predicts trouble ahead! Kitty (Book 6): Kitty Harrison, once achingly poor, is now a wealthy heiress. But Kitty realizes that to save her life and win the man she loves, she’ll have to learn to play the game. Sally (Book 7): "Aunt Mabel", the lovelorn magazine columnist, is summoned to prevent the Duchess of Dartware's son from a terrible marriage. Who would guess that behind Aunt Mabel's ageless wisdom is the real eighteen-year-old Sally Blane?

    He works with dysfunctional teenagers, and where everyone else sees apprentice career criminals, he sees hope. No-one has ever taught him to accentuate the positive; his mind is simply built that way. He adores his family: Karen and the children are the centre of his world. So when he finds that one of his few teenage success stories has wound up working in a massage parlour, he knows he has to help. He’ll pop in for a little chat – thats all it will be. But try telling that to anyone else. Karen’s not convinced, and maybe she has her reasons to be suspicious. Alvin finds that one mistake, arising from the noblest of motives, will propel events out of control. Now cast adrift, Alvin’s only allies are the teenagers everyone’s given up on. They’re great at supplying dodgy DVDs and ringtones – but can they help him get his life back?

    Whether you’re a jaded producer of media or a nitpicking consumer of it, this book will help you to embrace, not resist, the lowering of standards for the written word! Part dictionary, part journalism textbook, part grammar and writing manual, Write More Good is a “comprehensive” “guide” to today’s “media,” in all its ambulance-chasing, story-fabricating, money-hemorrhaging glory. (LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The authors are not responsible for consequences that may result from actually using this book as a dictionary, textbook, or grammar and writing manual.)Let The Bureau Chiefs, the ritin’ and reportin’ geniuses behind the Twitter phenomenon @FakeAPStylebook, teach you about:* Proper usage!“World War” should be used only for conflicts involving countries on at least three continents. For large-scale battles against clones, killer tomatoes, or a fifty-foot woman, use “attack” instead.* Entertainment Journalism!When writing about a celebrity for an online audience, save your readers time by linking directly to nude photos of him or her.* Science Reporting!When writing about those robots that seek out and consume houseflies for energy, the parenthetical aside “(OH GOD, WE’RE DOOMED!)” is implied and is therefore not necessary to include in your story.And much, much, more!

    Lover. Bon viviant. Cad. Ross O'Carroll-Kelly is many things to many people. But 10 years after he lifted the Leinster Schools Senior Cup, Ireland's most beloved rogue remains one of its most misunderstood figures.

    He is a fat man. A fat man with thin limbs, like an egg with tentacles. And life is not going well. He’s alone, idle, and on the brink of a medical crisis when a childhood acquaintance makes him an offer he can’t understand, can’t talk about, but ultimately can’t refuse. A week later, he finds himself in the wilds of Scotland, plunged into an eccentric community at war over a wind farm. He’s supposed to be a backer, but he has no idea what side he’s on, even though it may bag him a lot of money. All he wants is to look like a hero in front of the woman with the bright blue eyes who brought him here. To do so he must run the gauntlet of a family with many dark secrets, some dangerous hippies and their hallucinogenic potions, and the wilderness itself with all its threats and dangers. Whirligig is a raucous, joyous, often poignant comedy about the redemptive power of the countryside. Written with peerless wit, it’s a timely fable that takes its place within the tradition of the Great English Comic Novel. It’s The Wicker Man as told by P.G. Wodehouse.

     All the best,Kerry and Kurtanp.s. Kurtan wants to make it clear that although this newsletter is in book format it does not make him any of the following:Book WormBook bummerBoffinNerd alertThe lion, the witch and the book wormp.p.s If you don't buy this newsletter that's fine, but we are getting a percent of the profits to donate to the Kerry Mucklowe eating fund, so if you don't buy it I'll basically starve. Which is fine if your conscience can deal with that utter headf***.

    Written for aspiring authors, previously published authors, and independent publishers, it explains the ever-shifting publishing landscape and helps indie authors understand that they're up against the status quo, and how to work within the system but also how to subvert the system in order to succeed. Publishing expert and independent publisher Brooke Warner is fearless in her critique of an industry that's lost its mandate, and in so doing has opened the door wide for indie publishers to thrive. While she does not shy away from calling out the bias against indie authors, she also asserts that it's never been a more exciting time to be in book publishing--and her passion and enthusiasm are contagious. "If you're going to green-light your work, you have to wow," Warner writes. But to surpass expectations, you also need to be a student of publishing and to be able to hold your own with book buyers, event coordinators, librarians, wholesalers, distributors, and reviewers. Green-Light Your Book seeks to equip authors and publishers with the language, knowledge, and skill sets they need to play big.

    Every time she chops up her delicious home-grown tomatoes she dreams of murdering her husband. Why can’t Harry just have an affair with a younger woman, and leave?Trouble is Harry has no intention of giving up his home comforts. Not when he’s been having his cake and eating it for years. Glamorous banker Carol accompanies him on business trips and the odd weekend away, but she too is beginning to think maybe life with Harry is growing stale.So who’s fooling who? Harry, happy in his illusion that he’s a sex god and all his women love him? Katherine and Carol, unlikely partners in Harry’s parallel lives? Against a background of gleeful coincidences, cute Cambridge cafes and the unexpected joys of unexplored freedom, the women decide that revenge is a dish best eaten cold.First published in 1999, Just Desserts takes us back to an era of shoulder pads and fax machines, and proves that when it comes to love and betrayal some stories are timeless.Pro

    What seems like a good deed however has a cruel payback andin a single moment, Kamran loses everything dear to him. This is whenMirza, in gratitude, takes Kamran under his wing and the young man getsdrawn into the mafia boss’s dangerous world of cops and rival gangsters,eventually taking over from him.Kamran also inherits Mirza’s philosophy that all of life’s problems can besolved through Ghalib¹s poetry.Soon, the innocent taxi driver has cops, criminals and even cabinetministers at his beck and call.And he has a new name—Ghalib Danger.

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    Thou Shalt Not Pick on the Puncts: Frank persuades a hyperkinetic teen to slow down long enough to let punctuation marks help the boy’s own natural storytelling ability come through. Thou Shalt Overcome Writer’s Block: With practical advice and compelling case studies, Frank unfreezes the pens of struggling writers all around him, from his mail carrier to a former student to his own mom.Drawing on Frank’s considerable experience as an English teacher, his passion for writing, and his love of language, The Pen Commandments is a witty and accessible book that entertains as it instructs.

    every morning, feverishly hot, her heart racing and mind whirring with every worst-case scenario imaginable. She's snappy, exhausted and has developed an alarming inability to remember simple nouns.When a friend has the audacity to suggest that forty-five-year-old landscape gardener Eliza Hamilton is hurtling toward menopause, she is naturally appalled. Menopause is something that happens to other women, older women.As Eliza tries to negotiate this new and confusing landscape, she also embarks on the biggest challenge of her career so far. But she soon discovers that juggling erratic mood swings with motherhood, demanding family members and domestic drudgery is far from the harmonious scenario she'd envisaged.If Eliza wants to embrace midlife without the crisis, she must first make some grown up choices and face some uncomfortable truths.Hilarious, gritty and brutally honest, Overgrown will have you laughing, crying and rooting for its quirky yet relatable characters. A much-needed novel every woman approaching midlife should read.