But you don't want to read them.So if you're looking to laugh, gasp, gag, or do all three at the same time, making sort of a weird sound that hurts your lungs and elicits odd glances from nearby pedestrians, don't miss Gleefully Macabre Tales!

    In addition to seven essays on craft, this collection brings together her penetrating and instructive commentaries on a wide variety of individual writers, including Jane Austen, E. M. Forster, Willa Cather, Anton Chekhov, William Faulkner, and Virginia Woolf.

    When a famed anthropologist disappears in the middle of a formidable African jungle while searching for a legendary--and reportedly bloodthirsty--"lost tribe," fading star Max Carrington and his bumbling television crew swiftly set off to find him. Their goal: bring him back, alive or dead, documenting every moment along the way for a blockbuster television event. Back home, their dramatic live video dispatches from the middle of the jungle swiftly become the media sensation of the moment. But when members of the crew start disappearing as well, they realize too late that much more than the network's fortunes are at risk...

    He hadn't expected to meet a woman whose very soul touched him, warmed him-- a woman he could grow old with.And now that he'd found her, he was about to lose her to an unknown assassin. Someone who wanted Ransom dead. Someone who was willing to kill Mandy to get to him...Writer Mandy Grant saw Ransom as a wounded warrior seeking shelter within her fortress walls and herself as the lonely princess, too frightened to love. Because for Mandy, loving mean losing. And unless the stopped the killer first, they were both going to lose...

    Now, on the first anniversary of the Midland, Oklahoma slaughter, the whole town's looking at Clay like he might be next to go over the edge. Clay wants to forget the past, but the sons and daughters of the Preservation Society—a group of prominent farmers his dad accused of devil worship—won't leave him alone. Including Ali, his longtime crush, who suddenly wants to reignite their romance after a year of silence, and hated rival Tyler Neely, who’s behaving like they’re old friends. Even as Clay tries to reassure himself, creepy glances turn to sinister stares and strange coincidences build to gruesome rituals—but when he can never prove that any of it happened, Clay worries he might be following his dad down the path to insanity...or that something far more terrifying lies in wait around the corner.

    Tired of his decrepit house, he leaves his wife and mother behind and sets out for a night at The Boneyard. Joe has a knack for dice throwing and figures he can take on any opponent. But can he win when the stakes are raised, and it's his life he's gambling for?

    The jagged trenches were only soft grassy depressions in the sunny battlefield park. I felt tears burn my eyes, the relief was so strong, and then the misery of losing the ghost hit me."Alexander has the ability to see ghosts. But it's been several years since his last encounter. When he reluctantly joins his father on a long trip away from home, a surprise awaits him. In the unfamiliar territory of North Carolina, Alexander is confronted by the ghost of a young soldier who lost his life in the Civil War. As an unusual friendship develops between the two, Alexander is drawn into a new reality where he comes face to face with the haunting past of his soldier friend. But can Alexander help this troubled ghost, and can he, finally, come to terms with his own disturbing past? With deftness and insight, Elaine Marie Alphin tells a gripping story that weaves the supernatural with the historical. Ghost story fans and Civil War buffs alike are in for a real treat.

    The last few years have also seen the invention and marketing of new schlock--like pills that claim to eliminate cellulite or burn extra carbohydrates and machines that purport to tone your thighs "without any effort on your part." It's all too easy to get confused by all the myths and mixed messages out there. But don't sweat it! This thoroughly revised edition of Fitness For Dummies updates you on all the latest--the good, the bad, and the bizarre--tackles your fears about getting fit, and gives you the knowledge and motivation to stick with fitness for the rest of your life. Renowned fitness experts Suzanne Schlosberg and Liz Neporent show you how to:Test your fitness level and set realistic goals Pinpoint fat sources in your diet Create a personalized fitness program Find Internet fitness forums and Web sites Brave a public gym This is your essential get-fit guide, covering state-of-the-art fitness techniques, equipment, programs, and health clubs in a practical, friendly way. You'll see how your individualized fitness program will help you strengthen your heart and lungs, burn lots of calories, lower your stress level, and even help you stay injury-free. You get the latest on low-carb eating, new food pyramids, the glycemic index and trans fats, and new carb guidelines. Plus, you'll see how to:Take advantage of hot trends like Yoga and circuit training Incorporate weight training in your workout Choose the best fitness equipment for your home gym Stay fit at all ages and stages Complete with a list of ten great fitness investments under $100 (and ten fitness ripoffs!) as well as proven ways to stay motivated, Fitness For Dummies, Third Edition is your one-stop guide to a slim, trim new you!

    One of a series of top-quality fiction for schools, this is a collection of stories of a Lancashire childhood, of football in the streets, fishing, fighting and school, of growing up and looking for work, and of characters such as Spit Nolan the champion trolley-rider, and Sam Dalt the goalkeeper.

    A troubled Vietnam vet and recent widower, he does his best to survive in an increasingly dangerous neighborhood while drowning in the nightmares of his horrific past and struggling with the death of his beloved wife Katy. And then the whispers begin calling to him from the shadows, terrifying visions stalk him relentlessly, the sounds of angelic singing haunt his every waking moment, and everyone in his life seems to be conspiring against him for reasons he cannot yet understand.As the rains come, soaking the city, Gordon realizes he must face his past, and solve a dark mystery that has haunted him for nearly fifty years.Who was the mystifying woman he met in a bar all those years ago? What happened in that seedy motel they went to? Did it even really happen at all?As Gordon searches for answers, something within the mounting rain watches and waits, offering Gordon deliverance from his nightmare. But the keys to Heaven and Hell come with a terrible price.Welcome home, Gordon.Welcome to THE HOUSE OF RAIN."A masterful tale of love, loss, friendship, pain and suffering…a tale that will eviscerate you emotionally." —Peter Schwotzer, Famous Monsters of Filmland"Another masterpiece of a tale of love and loss as Gifune delves to the heart of a topic that he seems to know so well." —Josef Hernandez, Examiner

    Gates [has a] pitch-perfect ear for contemporary speech... and... [a] keen, journalistic eye."--Michiko Kakutani, The New York TimesIn this comic, fiercely compassionate novel, David Gates, whose first novel Jernigan was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, sends his protagonist on a visceral journey to the dark side of suburban masculinity, explores the claims youth makes on middle age, and the tenacious --at times perverse--power of love to assert itself.When Doug Willis has a mid-life crisis, he doesn't join a gym or have an affair. Instead he gets himself arrested while camping with his wife and kids, takes a two month leave of absence from his PR job, and retreats to his farmhouse in rural Preston Falls--where he plugs in his guitar and tries to shut out his life.While his wife, Jean, struggles to pay the bills and raise their sullen, skeptical kids, Willis's plans for hiatus crumble into Dewars-and-cocaine fueled disarray. A shattered window, an unguarded gun, and a shady small town attorney force a crisis--and Willis can't go home again. With its biting humor and harsh realism, Preston Falls confirms David Gates as a talent in the tradition of Russell Banks and Richard Ford: a master of dark truths and private longings.

    Riding along the banks are the mercenaries hired to protect it - from raiders, bandits and, most of all, the stretchers, elf-like natives who kill any intruders into their territory. The mercenaries know this is dangerous, deadly work. But it is what they do.In the boat the drunk governor of the territories and his sons and daughters make merry. They believe that their status makes them untouchable. They are wrong. And with them is a mysterious, beautiful young woman, who is the key to peace between warring nations and survival for the Empire. When a callow mercenary saves the life of the Governor on an ill-fated hunting party, the two groups are thrown together. For Fisk and Shoe - two tough, honourable mercenaries surrounded by corruption, who know they can always and only rely on each other - their young companion appears to be playing with fire. The nobles have the power, and crossing them is always risky.And although love is a wonderful thing, sometimes the best decision is to walk away. Because no matter how untouchable or deadly you may be, the stretchers have other plans.

    It begins - or does it? - when Caspar, a genius, poor of course, and resentful at that, decides to use his "time machine" to bring back a modest fortune. It begins - or maybe it doesn't - with a mysterious bequest to a secret Otherhood charged with preserving and extending the British Empire at any cost. From the bold colonial days of empire-builder Cecil Rhodes through the wide-eyed and wondrous possibilities of the present to a strange and haunting future of magi and angels, of men and many races other than our own, John Crowley's time-travel masterpiece surfs bravely along "the infinite, infinitely broken coastline of Time" to tell a story that takes place neither here nor there, but everywhen.

    Yet only 52 days after the gruesome triple-murder was discovered, frustrated authorities suspended the case indefinitely. Patrol Sergeant Truman Simons, who had been called to the scene that night, saw the carnage first-hand -- and vowed to find the ferocious killer or killers. He soon became a man with a mission, risking his career and his family's safety in search of evidence. Plunging himself into a netherworld of violence and evil, Simons finally got close enough to a murderous ringleader to hear his careless whispers--and ultimately, put him and his three accomplices behind bars for the brutal slayings.Now, in his Edgar Award-winning account of the Lake Waco killings, acclaimed true crime writer Carlton Stowers lays bare the facts behind the tragic crimes, the twisted predators, and the heroic man who broke the investigation--with important updated information based on new developments in the case.

    One Secret.Separated by a river and twenty years of lies.Two families. One secret.Separated by a river and twenty years of lies.Five minutes changed Poppy Sadler’s life forever. Tick. The hospital called. Her mother’s battle with cancer was finally over. Tock. The police showed up at her door. Her father’s body has just been pulled from the River. Tick. Murdered. Tick, Tock. Five minutes and a secret is coming undone.Across the river, Justin Caulfield’s vast fortune can buy him anything but more time. Tick. A deadly disease is stealing his daughter’s life. He needs a miracle. Tock. The person he never doubted names the price he never knew he owed. A price more than one man can pay. Tick. Betrayed. Tick, Tock. Twenty years of lies may cost him his very soul.