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A Comedian Walks Into A Funeral Home
Dennis Kelly - 2021
Highly recommend!"--Jim Gaffigan, Actor, Comedian, New York Times Best Selling Author"Comedy for the Dead. Talk about a tough comedy crowd ... An intelligent story that shines the light of laughter into the shadows of loss. It grabs you from the start and never let's go."--Louie Anderson, Comedian, Actor, AuthorVince Locker's life is tragic. His comedy act for the LaughCom competition has just bombed, ruining any chance of the cash prize he desperately needed. His life is in tatters; abandoned by his father as a child, an estranged wife, Jessica, who he seems to disappoint just by his mere existence, and living in his mother's house with his bipolar brother and facing foreclosure. As he stands on Smith Avenue Bridge, suicide seems the only option until he is unexpectedly rescued by an old school mortician named Truss. Vince meets another of Truss's rescues, Winona. Although beyond social norms, the trio seize on a quick cash fix that just might help Vince meet his child support demands--comedic tributes for the dead. The eulogies are hilarious and off the wall, sometimes disastrous and sometimes enlightening. They propel Vince into the dark underworld of the funeral industry, life insurance scams, savage politics, a kidnapping, the murder investigation of a destitute unclaimed young woman and threats to Jessica and his young daughter. As details of the murdered young woman are slowly revealed, Vince realizes that he has many ghosts of his own to put to rest.
The Legend Begins
S.A. Ferkey - 2013
The Jailer's Son: The Legend Begins is Book #1 of The Jailer's Son series of action adventure westerns. Maxwell Beck is no average boy. Thanks to his Pa’s insistence, he’s a sharpshooter, sleight of hand artist, acrobat, and cardsharp. These are handy, yet highly unusual skills for the son of a traveling salesman. Even so, Max thinks he's living a normal life, until one fateful day when he inadvertently sets a chain of monumental events in motion. Just days after his Ma dies, Max accidentally shoots his Pa. It's then that Max learns a secret about his past that will change his life forever, and maybe even chase him to the ends of the earth. Max's Pa might be dying, but he's insistent that they reach the Old West town of Deadwood before he leaves this earth. Max does as he asks only to find himself face to face with an uncle he never knew existed. Uncle Chase "Turtle" Beck, the sheriff of Deadwood, is not pleased to see his dying "no good" brother, nor his son. Turtle's displeasure seems to linger even after Max's Pa dies. However, as Max rides out of Deadwood, his uncle intercepts him and offers him a job at his ranch. It isn't clear what Turtle's intentions are -- Max saved him from being shot in the back by two outlaw brothers shortly after riding into Deadwood, or maybe it's because he's kin -- but Max decides to give ranch life a try. His uncle has only one request: that Max keeps his special skill set to himself. It's an easy adjustment for Max. He enjoys the company of the other cowboys, and meets Patience, a sassy-mouthed blond who he believes is destined to be his wife. It turns out this happy time in Max's life is only the quiet before the storm. When an outlaw gang savagely attacks Turtle and threatens to strip Max of all he holds dear, he is forced to break his promise to his uncle. As Max sets out to stop the evil that has the power to destroy all he loves, he tries to put the events his birth mother predicted for him out of his mind -- even as they come true, one by one. The ensuing battle of good against evil gives birth to a legend for the ages: the legend of the jailer’s son. Like westerns with action and intriguing characters? Scroll up and click the BUY button now to begin your adventure!
Swept Away
Kamery Solomon - 2015
For more than 200 years, the Treasure Pit on Oak Isle has baffled treasure hunters, engineers, and the common man alike. When Samantha Greene arrives, she finds her estranged father has spent years funneling energy and finances into the endeavor, finding nothing. When an accidental death occurs in the pit, fulfilling the prophecy that seven lives must end before the treasure can be found, the search kicks into high gear, with more than one party vying for the secrets that lie below. Finding herself the closest to the treasure anyone has ever been, Samantha throws herself into the work, landing among the coveted prize. Just as she's about to discover what's truly hidden beneath the island, the pit begins to flood with ocean water, sweeping her away despite her attempts to swim to the surface. Upon awaking, Samantha discovers that, not only did she not drown, but the year is 1695—one hundred years before the Treasure Pit was even discovered. Carried off by the pirate Tristan O'Rourke, a rouge Irishman with more than his share of secrets, she soon finds that there is much more than she realized in play. Will she discover the secrets of Oak Isle, or will an unexpected love keep her from finding out the truth? Will she ever make it back to her own time? Perhaps the real question is this; will she want to?
Only the Truth
Adam Croft - 2017
He travels for work and plays the carefree bachelor when he can. But now, on a solo business trip, in a remote coastal hotel, he’s surprised to find Lisa in his bathroom. She’s dead.He has no idea how she got there but one chilling fact is clear: everything points to Dan having murdered her. Someone is trying to frame him. Someone who might still be watching. In a panic, he goes on the run. But even as he flees across Europe, his unknown enemy stacks up the evidence against him.Dan is determined to clear his name and take revenge on Lisa’s killer, but the culprit is closing in. And then there’s the agony of his own guilty conscience. No, he didn’t kill her—but is it all his fault?
Viking
Tony Bakkejord - 2017
Onboard one of the ships is a terrified Ulv. The youngest of the crew - he is not a Viking, not a warrior, not a fighter. Despised by most of the hird he has to prove himself worthy as a raider. His honor and his life is at stake, as he faces a battle with enemies on both sides.Standing on the pier, Marcus watches in horror as the Viking ships appear. This time he is old enough to fight. To stand, side by side with the other men against the mighty foe. The scourge of the North. At least, he hopes he can slow the Northmen down so that his little sister, Julia, can get away.In a twist of fate, both teenage boys ends up hiding in a cellar. From that moment, their destiny is intertwined in a relationship spanning from friends to enemies, from thrall and master to weapon brothers, and from friendship to hate.Follow Ulv, Marcus, Julia and the whole band of Viking misfits as they change the course of history. In the epic story of ‘Two Kings’ you will meet real historical figures like Ragnar Lothbrok and Charles the Bald. You will bear witness to the occupation of Dublin and the siege of Paris. You will visit Hedeby and Rouen, and take part in battles, sieges and duels.
Orphan Train: Collection One
Rachel Wesson - 2021
She reluctantly joins an orphan train on a voyage of hope, despair and the search for a home. Not just for her siblings but for almost forty other orphans desperate for a future.
Orphan Train Trials
Bella Jones and Kathleen Collins are as close as sisters and want to stay together. But their pasts come back to haunt them. A past Orphan Train survivor, can Bella save young twins, Megan and Eileen from a fate worse than the one Bella survived? Kathleen can't help, she has her own problems with missing brothers. Can she save them from the hangman's noose?
Orphan Train Christmas
Kenny Clark wants a family for Christmas. Kathleen is working hard to secure the best outcomes for all the orphans but what of her chance of happiness?
The First Mrs. Rothschild
Sara Aharoni - 2015
But when Meir’s talents as a novice banker catch the attention of a German prince, Meir is suddenly afforded entrée into the European world of finance and nobility, and the Rothschilds’ lives are changed forever. As proud as Gutle is of her husband’s success, she is also cautious—very much aware of the fact that her husband’s rise is tied to his patrons’ willingness to “see past” his Jewishness. As their family grows, and a dream of fortune comes true, so does their belief that money will ultimately bring the power needed to establish Jewish civil rights.Told through Gutle’s intimate journals, revealed across decades—from the French Revolution through personal tragedies and triumphs—The First Mrs. Rothschild paints a rich and intimate tapestry of family drama, world-changing history, and one woman’s steadfast strength.
The Honest Spy
Andreas Kollender - 2015
Recognizing that millions of lives are at stake, Kolbe uses his position to pass information to the Americans—risking himself and the people he holds most dear—and embarks on a dangerous double life as the Allies’ most important spy.Summoned from his South African post to return to Nazi Germany, Kolbe leaves behind his beloved fourteen-year-old daughter, a decision made for her safety that nonetheless torments him. And as he lives under the constant threat of arrest, he wrestles with the guilt of putting Marlene Wiese, a married nurse and the love of his life, in danger as they collaborate on Kolbe’s clandestine work.But no matter the personal cost, Kolbe will not be deterred. In scenes that pulse with suspense, he emerges as a towering figure who risked everything to save innocent lives—and Germany from itself.
Palatine
L.J. Trafford - 2014
Depravity. Decadence.Just everyday life at the imperial palace.Whilst Emperor Nero plays with his new water organ and a cross-dressing eunuch, his wily secretary Epaphroditus manages affairs of state. But dissent and rebellion are growing across the empire, and Nero is soon to discover playtime is over.Praetorian prefect Nymphidius Sabinus, disgusted by the moral degeneracy, secretly plots the overthrow of Nero’s court. Motivated by the traditional Roman values of valour and nobility, yet blinded by his own righteousness, Sabinus is ignorant of what he has unleashed – The Year of the Four Emperors.'Palatine' is the first in an enthralling four-book series about the tumultuous ‘Year of the Four Emperors’ which will appeal to fans of Lindsey Davis and George R. R. Martin.
Hounds of Autumn
Heather Blackwood - 2013
Chloe Sullivan is an amateur inventor whose holiday takes a dark turn when her friend and colleague, one of the few female mechanical experts in the British Empire, is murdered.A black mechanical hound roams the moors, but could it have killed a woman? And what secrets are concealed within the dark family manor?Accompanied by her naturalist husband and her clockwork cat, Chloe is determined to see her friend’s killer found.But some secrets have a terrible cost.
The Replacement Chronicles
Harper Swan - 2016
Two Lives… separated by millennia but nevertheless linked irrevocably. What possible link could Mark Hayek, an introverted twenty-first century research scientist, have to Raven, a young healer who lived during the late Pleistocene? It has everything to do with an injured Neanderthal man taken captive by Raven’s band while he and his brothers were hunting bison. After Raven heals the captive, he leaves for his tribe, and she tries to forget him as she struggles to remain within the band. But it’s not possible to stay when several band members make her life with the group untenable. Seeking the Neanderthal man she’d helped and facing her fear of being alone on the dangerous steppes, she begins crossing that grassy land—but a woman like Raven isn’t destined to be by herself for long. In the future, Mark Hayek is forced into making his own journey when his uncle dies in the Levant. His travels place him firmly in the footsteps of his Neanderthal and Early Modern Human ancestors, crossing the same ancient lands as he struggles against the fate a wayward kinsman has imposed. He’s been made a pawn in a cruel game, but when he encounters a woman being held prisoner in a cave, he seeks a way to save her. Help arrives for the pair, flowing from an unexpected, ancient source, igniting a struggle deep within Mark to accept that the illogical as well as the logical make up existence. Peoples come and go, one group replacing another over time, and echoes from ancient events have always affected the future, but Mark and Raven discover that in certain environments echoes are able to bounce back and forth, blurring their origins.
Blackbeard: The Birth of America
Samuel Marquis - 2018
A Robin-Hood-like American patriot and the most famous freebooter of all time, Blackbeard was illegally hunted down by Virginia Governor Alexander Spotswood, the British Crown’s man in Williamsburg obsessed with his capture. Based on reliable historical records and the latest research, this adventure tale illuminates the true man behind the myth and his doggedly determined pursuer, revealing a cat-and-mouse game and important historical figure lost to us in a “fog of legend, myth and propaganda” for three hundred years. A folk hero in his own lifetime, Blackbeard exploded onto the scene during the birth of America and was one of the first American revolutionaries in the War of Independence against British rule.
Beyond the Shadow of Night
Ray Kingfisher - 2019
On a small farm, two boys are born within days of each other, both Ukrainian, one Jewish. Mykhail and Asher grow up inseparable, together finding friendship, adventure and escape from the harshness of Russian rule. But after Asher’s family flees to Warsaw, their worlds are torn to shreds by the Second World War.The war brings cruelty to both boys. Although Asher finds love in Warsaw, the city is far from the haven his family sought; meanwhile Mykhail becomes a victim of the bitter struggle for Ukraine. But worse follows in the shape of the Treblinka death camp. There, both men must obey orders, and both find their morals compromised and their souls tortured.The inhuman horrors they witness cast long shadows. Many years later, their paths cross once more, and each man must confront the legacy of his actions. When the darkest of secrets can no longer be kept hidden, can their friendship survive the final reckoning?
Restless Hearts
Mona Ingram - 2014
Denied her dream of attending medical school, Sarah Howard is desperate to leave Boston far behind. Determined to prove that she can make it on her own, she poses as a married woman and boards a schooner bound for San Francisco. Stuck working in his family’s merchant bank, Jamie Thompson eagerly accepts the challenge of setting up a branch in San Francisco. He’s been restless for some time now, and barely escaped the clutches of the woman determined to marry him. The attraction between Sarah and Jamie is instant and powerful, yet each has something to prove, if only to themselves. Will their single-minded determination derail a blossoming romance?
Drawn
Marie Lamba - 2012
He’s the medieval ghost that conquers her heart. And their time is running out.Michelle De Freccio moves with her dad to England, where she hopes for a more normal life. Instead she discovers a handsome guy appearing in all her sketches. When she actually meets him at the town's castle, she's unmistakably drawn to him. But something is definitely not normal.He wears medieval garb, talks of ancient murders, and tends to disappear with a kiss. Could he be a ghost? Could Michelle be losing her mind? Or has she simply uncovered a love so timeless it's spanned the centuries...