His plan may have worked all too well. Now, to save us from creeping socialism, death panels and everything progressive, he has written the antidote, Tea Party Fairy Tales. In Tea Party Fairy Tales, Red Riding Hood stands up for her Second Amendment rights, the Little Match Girl defends the magic of the free market to her grave, and Jack of “Beanstalk” fame shows the moral decay of a life on the dole. For those who find these too long-winded, more than a dozen Aesop’s Fables have been reworked to illustrate the eternal truths of American conservatism in handy, shouting-points form. Tea Party Fairy Tales deserves a place on every young American’s nightstand, right next to the Rush Limbaugh plush doll and a Smith & Wesson automatic, to help prevent the destruction of everything good and true in American culture. “Wake up, Storybookland! Before it’s too late!”

    But when two faces from his old gang turn up, he finds himself getting involved in a new scam, and soon he is embroiled in a world he wants to escape and is forced to confront a man who is dangerously unhinged.

     Sometimes society is wrong. Meet the best of the absolute worst-the perpetrators of the most wretched demonstrations of moral conduct ever:Super Snorer Terrible Baby Namer Hot Water User-Upper Express Checkout Cheater No-Umbrella Etiquette Lady Eight-Minute Voicemail Leaver Dude Who Takes Board Games Too SeriouslyPeople Who Deserve It exposes everyone and everything whose behavior, life choices, and sometimes odor leave humanity with only one painful option: a punch to the face.

    But even he, with his penchant for fishnet stockings and stiletto heels, is stunned by the antics of his guests - to say nothing of the Butler who invented the ultimate sex machine.The author also wrote "Iron Maiden".

    Tired of his laddish lifestyle, he's redecorated the spare room, traded in his beloved sports car for a 4x4, and even drawn up a list of his favourite baby names. In fact, there's only one thing left he's got to do - find a female who'll have his child. But where on earth is he going to find a woman who meets his exacting standards? Certainly not in the usual bars and clubs he frequents. But Will has a plan - you can find everything else on the Internet these days - so why not someone to start a family with? From Friends Reunited, through the weird world of online dating, even to auctioning his 'services' on Ebay, Will's journey to paternity is a hilarious romp through the pitfalls of procreation. But when push comes to shove, is Will prepared to trade passion for Pampers? What do men really look for when it comes to starting a family? Can the perfect mother also be the perfect partner, or are there more important things than a nice-fitting pair of genes?

    Her instinct told her not to. It would have been better for her if she had listened. Dee didn’t know the history of the manor house, except that it was a steal a for house flipper and she really would be foolish to pass it up.  Sure a few things were on the blink, but that was to be expected.  The strange noises she put it down to ‘old houses’ and the cold spots, probably just normal –but when the house comes alive with paranormal activity Dee knows she is in trouble. As the stakes ramp up blood is drawn and the life of Dee and her friend hang in the balance.  Can Dee find the answers to Creeping Fog Manor and put the old house to rest or will the Manor claim its next victim?If you read stories in the occult, occultism, horror, supernatural and paranormal genres then add these to your reading list.

    Lamb, an ordinary man who leads an ordinary life, until a chance encounter leads to him experiencing the world through the eyes of various animals. Thorne Smith again shows his mastery of the comic fantasy tale as Lamb lurches from one mishap to another, reeling from his wife's abandonment and the actions of his headstrong daughter and reveling in the new opportunities that his excursions into animal form provide.

    Instead he gets a zany assortment of characters, not one of whom lives up to his preconceptions.Diana craves excitement after ending a comfortable but unchallenging relationship. But is she heading for trouble when she finds herself irresistibly drawn to Dante Blackthorn? He's handsome, charismatic and a feckless alcoholic and compulsive gambler, though his devil-may-care attitude and hazy sense of boundaries mask a sensitive and complex personality. His dissatisfied ex wife Beccy still hankers after him and his self-centred but vulnerable daughter Lucy hates the idea of a new woman coming into her Dad's life!Best friends Lissa and Bethany are pagan teenagers who have their own coven but want to meet boys and have fun as well. Which is fine till Liss falls for someone and jeopardises the friendship.Meanwhile Jason, a delinquent eighteen year old, has been forced to play Aunt Sally by his Dad and Uncle, who hope being part of the team will keep him out of trouble. When Lucy and Jason are attracted to each other, things get complicated, especially as Beth has set her sights on him as well.Elderly widow Vera needs to put the past behind her. Will helping Jason fill a gap in her life and begin the process of healing?And Rashi's family owns the George and Dragon pub where the Aunt Sally Team is based. He thinks his future is mapped out until he falls in love and is pulled between the culture he grew up in and the expectations of his Indian family.With these and other characters thrown into the mix, the ensuing interactions and relationships become more and more entangled as the players progress through the season. From May Morning celebrations in Oxford to riotous Aunt Sally matches at idyllic Cotswold village pubs - with fun, drama, sex, romance and chaos along the way - by the end of the summer their lives will have been changed forever.

    Together they grow up, meet girls, and go off to college. And that's where everything changes.While out on a date, Mike, along with thousands of others, are quite literally abducted by aliens. Known as the Progerians, their mission is to determine how best to conquer the human race. War is coming and nobody knows the enemy better than Michael Talbot.Knowledge alone won’t be enough to fight the Progerians though. Mike’s going to need an army. Individually, Paul Ginson and Michael Talbot are forces to be reckoned with. Reunited they are a match made in Progerian Hell.

    World’s greatest stories are created when people are high – masterpieces are painted, universal truths are realised, models on billboards are befriended, lovers are united, butts are kicked, confessions are made, and relationships are sorted.The book started as a blog with people from across the world sharing their stories, ideas, confessions and beliefs, and the elixir of the 14 best stories is here to reveal what lies beyond a conscious mind.Though the book does not intend to encourage drinking alcohol in any sense, here’s to celebrate every emotion that kicks after a few pegs. Cheers!!

    It is not just another day: it is the culmination of hundreds of days, hundreds of disappointments and misunderstandings, and thousands of very small lies... From the Publisher 'Demonstrates a wry talent' Guardian 'A true writer of fiction...A writer whose every book has been a pleasure' Scotsman At the moment that Colonel Browne is standing in the shallow end of the swimming pool of the Hotel Alpenrose, preparing for his late afternoon dip, his daughter Charlotte, carrying a suitcase, is getting out of her car back in England, preparing to rob the ancestral home. It is not just another day: it is the cuilmination of hundreds of days, hundreds of disappointments and misunderstandings, and thousands of very small lies... 'Rose Tremain goes from strength to strength. The Colonel's Daughter is a winner...a riveting and satisfying read' New Statesman 'Dialogue and off-beat humour are spot on' Daily Telegraph.

    Well, now it's 2011 and Danny is back - and he's even more confused than ever! A lot has happened to Danny Wallace in the past year. He has had a baby and has been hobnobbing with the powers that be in Hollywood. But that hasn't made him any less awkward. Being more of a grown up brings its own baffling etiquette and expected social graces, and no-one has told Danny. Join Danny once again on his very funny stumble through more Awkward Situations. It's not easy being a man!

    Ron Blythe was the chemist who helped to create the spray and now, with thousands of people suffering and dying, his conscience forces him to try to work to find an antidote. Unfortunately, he gets stranded inside Birmingham, now sealed off, and full of anarchists, escape criminals and weedkiller-poisoned sufferers from the Thirst, all of which turn the city into a hell inside England.

    It sounded so—so aggressive. But she must be exact. “Actually I was a little angry—at his rudeness, you know—so I poked him in the back...” When Miss Seeton walks out after a performance of Carmen and witnesses a real-life stabbing, all she can recall is a shadowy figure. But how could she have guessed that her latest artistic endeavor is a picture-perfect portrait of the killer? Her sketch puts her in a perilous position, for back at her recently inherited cottage in Plummergen village, she’s fated to be a sitting duck . . . for murder most foul! Meet Miss Emily D. Seeton: retired art teacher Miss Seeton steps in where Scotland Yard stumbles. Armed with only her sketch pad and umbrella, she is every inch an eccentric English spinster and the most lovable and unlikely master of detection.

    Of course, no plan survives contact with the enemy, and Alan soon discovers he has far more enemies than he was expecting – aside from vicious pets, difficult owners, surly farmers, and children from hell, he finds himself working with an unhinged and jealous surgeon who makes it his personal mission ruin Alan's life. Battling long hours, life and death decisions, tragic cases, a complaint from the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons and an unexpected love triangle, Alan’s hopes of saving the world are quickly replaced with a simple question: Can he even last a year in practice? Once Bitten… is the story of a young vet’s first few months in practice, and how they changed his life forever.