Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    In the same village, Donald is the aggressive distillery owner, who floods the country with narcotics alongside his single malt; when his son goes missing, he becomes haunted by an anonymous American investor intent on purchasing the Cullrothes Distillery by any means necessary. Schoolgirl Jessie is trying to get the grades to escape to the mainland, while Grandpa counts the days left in his life.This is a place where mountains are immense and the loch freezes in winter. A place with only one road in and out. With long storms and furious midges and a terrible phone signal. The police are compromised, the journalists are scum, and the innocent folk of Cullrothes tangle themselves in a fermenting barrel of suspicion, malice and lies.The Mash House uses multiple narratives to weave together the parallel lives of individuals in the village. Each fractured by the fears and uncertainty in their own minds.

    Told with disarming honesty, the book propels the reader into the mind of an addict and shows us the depths of degradation one man sunk to before finding the inner strength to save himself.Terry Donaldson met with success early in life but his struggle with addiction soon became an all-out war. His Jekyll and Hyde lifestyle – TV presenter by day, whilst he scoured the streets of London in search of drugs and prostitutes by night – caused him to lose everything.Facing financial ruin, he agreed to smuggle drugs from Barbados, but was caught and sent to one of the world’s worst prisons, where he remained for over 3 years. Honest and disturbing, Hell in Barbados is the true story of how Donaldson witnessed stabbings, beatings, shootings and a full scale riot as the prison went up in flames.
In this extraordinary book, he describes the true horror of prison life in the Caribbean, the depravity that brought him there, and the years of brutality he was forced to endure.

    A young man wants Cyril shot dead but receives a nasty scar and a few injuries that sets him on a path of revenge.Little does he know that all the time he was being raised a lord, Cyril Reardon was being raised a gangster.Only one of them is a gentleman. Only one of them plays the cards they were dealt.

    

    There’s Killer of the Cloth, The Baby in the Convent, Mosquito Point Road, Death of a First Baseman, The Blue Gardenia, and Pure/Evil. Three of the killers are female.

    This is no ordinary hairdresser. Viv Fraser Ph.D and stylist to the Edinburgh establishment, has a double life as an investigative journalist and finds herself involved in some hair-raising, not to mention explosive scenes, as she trawls the seamier side of her city. In this fast-paced mystery Viv investigates the case of a missing teenage boy, but her efforts are hampered by people trying to save their own skin. Always top of his class, Andrew’s school blazer turns up on a river path without him. As she picks at the veneer of the Capital’s gay scene Viv discovers an unsavoury mix of lies, jealousy and sexual deceit. Determined to find Andrew, she ignores threats on her life and continues to dig in places that even Detective Marconi has yet to explore.

    

    Out in the bishop’s diocese the quiet life of parish priest Father Vincent Ross is about to be thrown into turmoil by a terrifying revelation. There are ugly scandals being hidden by the church he has served for so long, and a murderer is on the prowl. The police and the authorities are groping in the dark, but Father Ross has been given special information that he cannot disclose to anyone. It gradually dawns on him that he and he alone can unravel the mystery and bring the nightmare of violence to an end. He must put his personal safety, his reputation, and finally his life on the line.

    

    When her gangster boyfriend Tim is sent down, Susie Jones’ life is thrown into turmoil.Left to run his criminal empire, Susie finds solace in new acquaintances made in Strangeways Visitors’ Centre with unforeseen consequences.

    DavenheimThe Adventure of the “Western Star”The Tragedy at Marsdon ManorThe Million Dollar Bond RobberyThe Adventure of the Cheap FlatThe Mystery of the Hunter’s LodgeThe Kidnapped Prime MinisterThe Adventure of the Egyptian TombThe Adventure of the Italian NoblemanThe Case of the Missing WillThe Chocolate BoxThe Veiled LadyThe Lost MineThe Affair at the Victory BallThe Adventure of the Clapham CookThe Cornish MysteryThe Adventure of Johnnie WaverlyThe Double ClueThe King of ClubsThe Lemesurier InheritanceThe Plymouth ExpressThe Submarine PlansThe Market Basing MysteryThe Adventure of the Christmas Pudding

    Q and Harlem had finally agreed on a place to relocate their family, but after the drama with the club, their move has been postponed until further notice. Even though Q wants to go legit and keep his hands clean, the streets won’t allow it. Harlem tries to help Q as much as possible, but with two children to look after and trying to make sure her family remains strong, Harlem doesn’t know which way to turn. Once she thinks everything has died down, she realizes it is just the calm before her storm. Presley and Nae are working out the kinks in their relationship and he is trying to hang in there with Nae, but doesn’t know how much more he can take with her insecurities about their relationship. Meanwhile, Preston and Rena are doing great until a tragic situation strikes their home and turns it upside down. Now Pres is dealing with two wars; one in the streets and the other at home. With all their individual chaos going on, a major situation happens that stuns the family as a whole and forces their hands into showing the world the true definition of family. Once the family is hit with the reality of the situation, all hell breaks loose, leaving them to wonder which way to turn next.

     Out of his depth, he is constantly working just to stay in the game and match the talents of the other first year trainees. But a chance to shine comes Stewart’s way when he is given the opportunity to partake in an investigation. A client of the firm has recently died. The deceased, Major Robertson, left a substantial estate, and the terms of his will stipulate that his considerable wealth will go to his family – unless the Major died by suicide, whereupon his estate will be donated to a charity. And the conclusion, thus far, has been suicide. Heading up the investigation into the Major’s death is Sebastian Dakar, practicing Zen master and the most unlikely detective that Stewart could imagine. But upon their arrival at the Major’s family home, Stewart begins to realise that perhaps the case of the Major isn’t as cut and dried as first thought. A former criminal prosecutor both in Scotland and at the international level for several years, Euan B Pollock (a pseudonym) is a new author writing murder-mysteries in the classic style. He currently resides in Northern Spain. To find out more, visit his website or follow him on twitter and facebook. www.euanbpollock.com @euanbpollock f/euanbpollockauthor

    But Merry has a secret: the magic has stopped flowing from her fingers. Try as she might, she can’t summon up the sparkle that makes her stories shine. And as her deadline whooshes by, her personal life falls apart too. Alex tells her he wants something other than the future she’d always imagined for them and Merry finds herself single for the first time since – well, ever. Desperate to get her life back on track, Merry leaves London and escapes to the windswept Orkney Islands, locking herself away in a secluded clifftop cottage to try to heal her heart and rediscover her passion for writing. But can the beauty of the islands and the kindness of strangers help Merry to fool herself into believing in love again, if only long enough to finish her book? Or is it time for her to give up the career she’s always adored and find something new to set her soul alight??The brand new series from Holly Hepburn, author of A Year at the Star and Sixpence. Parts one to four in the new series are available to pre-order now: BROKEN HEARTS AT BRIGHTWATER BAY, SEA BREEZES AT BRIGHTWATER BAY, DANGEROUS TIDES AT BRIGHTWATER BAY and SUNSET OVER BRIGHTWATER BAY ~*~Praise for Holly Hepburn~*~ 'A fresh new voice, brings wit and warmth to this charming tale of two sisters' Rowan Coleman 'Warm, witty and laced with intriguing secrets! I want to pull up a bar stool, order a large G&T and soak up all the gossip at the Star and Sixpence!' Cathy Bramley 'You'll fall in love with this fantastic new series from  star of women's fiction, Holly Hepburn. Filled to the brim with captivating characters and fantastic storylines in a gorgeous setting ... simply wonderful. I want to read more!' Miranda Dickinson 'The Star and Sixpence sparkles with fun, romance, mystery, and a hunky blacksmith. It's a real delight' Julie Cohen 'Like the dream pub landlady who always knows exactly what you want, Holly Hepburn has created the most delightful welcome to what promises to be a brilliant series, in the first Star and Sixpence. The sisters are warm and intriguing, the neighbours are (mostly!) friendly and the gossip is utterly addictive. I was very sad when it was time for last orders, and am already looking forward to the next round. Especially if a certain blacksmith happens to be at the bar...' Kate Harrison 'Warm, witty and utterly charming, Snowdrops at the Star and Sixpence is the perfect book to curl up with on a cold winter's day.